I’ve been feeling it again. That low-grade ache of discontentment. That inner restlessness, nagging, gnawing, something softly knocking. That unnamed longing for something more even on days I finally catch my breath, catch up on laundry, or make it to bedtime without being called a mean mean mommy.
I don’t know why it takes me so long to recognize the source — God’s still small voice. Calling yet again to return to Him, spend time with Him.
I’ve been choosing the trap of glowing screens and too many late-night scrolling minutes. (Whoa, where did the last hour go?) I like to be alone. Alone with my thoughts. Alone in my uninterrupted bubble, an insulated reprieve from all the demands and needs. I like to be alone — yet tethered to a gazillion disconnected friends. (Cute cat! Sad story. Hey, she’s pregnant again! ) Is vegging out such a sin?
The evidence of my choice shows up the next morning in dark undereye circles and two more snooze cycles. Do I have to drag myself awake?
I’m too tired and distracted to hear Him call: Come to me. Connect with me.
(Can you relate? Have been you been there? Are you there today?)
It’s not like I don’t read my Bible. It’s not like I don’t pray. I’m good with God. We talk throughout the day. I’m okay.
But what if doing enough to spiritually get by isn’t the point?
I’m finally listening to my longing and admitting that there’s something in my lived-out priorities that’s outta whack. My soul hungers for more. And more social media, more sleep, more viral videos, more home organization, more activities or mindless TV isn’t going to cut it. You and I were made for more.
We were cut out for divine connection.
Created for intimacy.
Hand-picked for relationship.
Sculpted for surrender.
Wired for worship.
We’ve all got a God-sized gap that no other gods can fill.
We’ve got to recognize the ways we’ve been trying—and stop. Say no to what pulls us away from the Gap-Filler and instead press into Him.
I set my alarm earlier than my comfort. Set out games and puzzles for my kids should Murphy’s Law reign and they wake extra early too. Time protection in preparation. I decide what I’m going to read, place my journal and Bible on top of my laptop lest I autopilot-forget my purpose and fly right into work. Time protection in expectation.
Before I go to bed I remind myself of what is true:
The law of the Lord is perfect, refreshing the soul.
The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple. (Psalm 19:7)
In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice;
in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly. (Psalm 5:3)
Inviting God to fill the place in our lives only He’s made for isn’t a one-size-fits-all formula. There’s no right or wrong way to spend time with Jesus. But for me, I’ve found nothing better than to start my day with Him. In God’s Word. At Jesus’s feet. Pen to paper. Recording and remembering. Listening.
He’s never not shown up to meet with me.
The struggles of our lives, the crises, and daily grind are real. The urgent things that demand immediate doing, the desirous things that draw us to their company, the attention-grabbing things that feel in-the-moment important but lack eternal significance — I get it. I get all of it.
But living consumed by the struggle is not the life I want.
I choose again to change. Again, I choose Him.
Before the sun has yet to run its horizon-rising course, I will come. With gook in my eyes and a stiff morning back, I will come.
When I reach for my alarm, I remind myself that I’m not getting up for Facebook or Instagram or email. As I pull the chain on my stained glass desk lamp — flooding the darkness with light — I remind myself I’m not rising early for productivity, to check more off my list.
I rise for Him.
“Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.”
(Psalm 9:10)
Jas says
What you have written is so true of what I have been doing ashamedly so! And I do long for something more, I wasn’t sure if it’s boredom but now I see it’s deeper than that it’s a yearning for a deeper connection with God a deeper relationship. My priorities need an overhaul now that studies for my Masters are done for the year and I’m just a mother, wife, worker and homemaker I need to work on my inner peace which centres around him. Will you pray for me in this journey sisters at in courage?
Thank you for your honest post of what life looks like for a lot of us in this modern day of being sucked into social media and the like!!
Jeannie says
God Most High, Please give Jas strength to choose you above all others, as Christ chose to stay on the cross for us above all the brutalities of public shame, immeasurable pain, and even death. Give her a clear picture of Your love for her. In Jesus’ Resurrection Power, Amen
Jas says
Thank you Jeannie, May the Lord bless you.
Becky Keife says
Jas, thanks for weighing in with honesty and vulnerability. I so get where you’re coming from! I’m a work-from-home mom of three going to grad school for my master’s too. With all the juggling sometimes my brain just can’t take more and it feels like mentally checking out is the answer. Since I’ve been connecting more intentionally with the Lord, I’m reminded over and over that He is always the answer. Grateful to have you here and praying for you today, dear one.
Beth Williams says
Jas,
God-help Jas to choose & want you before & above all else! Give her the courage & strength to say no to worldly things & connect with you. Help her to stay connected to you even in her busy times!
Blessings 🙂
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Becky,
Choosing Him….yes, choosing to look away from the glowing screen and dive into His Word filled with truth, love, peace, and hope is a choice. Our choice. Like the Israelites, we are prone to wander away from a God who waits patiently for us to return. Due to surgeries that sidelined me, I had forced time on my hands. I took the time to really dive into God’s word and you know what I discovered? The more I read, the more I craved….kind of like carbohydrates but SO much better. A steady diet of His word starts my day on the right foot. His word returns to me throughout the day when life jumps off the rails. His word calms my heart when worry, doubt, anxiety rear their ugly heads. His word is a guard for my heart and mind. I am learning it is something I simply can’t live without. Plus it draws me deeper and deeper into His great love for me and into God himself. What better gift/choice can we give ourselves. Excellent post!
Blessings,
Bev xx
Jas says
Bev – craving like carbohydrates but better – I love this!! You are such an inspiration x
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Jas,
Actually, I’m such a goofball….but it IS true….the more I’m in His Word the more I crave it!
Praying for you sweet sister…
((Hugs)),
Bev
Kathy says
You dear friend are NOT a goofball! You are a precious godly woman with a heart of gold and compassion oozing out of every part of you sweet sister!! The time you spent recovering from you foot surgery was a time of such growth for you. I know it was hard to sit and wait and heal but your spirit grew so much! You are a gift to the world.
Love,you,
Kathy
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Thanks Kathy,
You are too kind!! Love you girl!
((Hugs)),
Bev xo
Becky Keife says
“The more I read, the more I craved.” Yes! That’s it exactly, Bev. Isn’t God is good and gracious like that…to help us recognize our true appetite for Him. xoxo
Michele Morin says
This is certainly a struggle that’s worth the effort, and thank you for honestly sharing your own wrestling — and the consequences of a life that taps out and gives in to the easy.
Becky Keife says
Always love seeing you here in the comments, Michele. Thank you for the encouragement.
Martha McNeal says
Excellent post, so timely and hitting the mark, fight on. Thank you.
Becky Keife says
So glad to know this resonated with you, Martha. Fight on!
Brenda says
Perfect reminder and encouragement! “I choose not to walk in the struggle”. Thank you.
Deitra Shoemaker says
Beautifully said and a great reminder of what is most important in our day. Your words have inspired me to continue to pursue Jesus wholeheartedly!
Becky Keife says
Deitra, what joy to read your comment! May we all continue to pursue Jesus wholeheartedly!
Patricia Brown says
-Having the compounding need of a place to remove and insufficient funds from my pension and the cost of apartment being exorbitantly high; I have been questioning my belief as i feel that God is not hearing my prayers and asking myself if having Faith and Belief is sufficient or do I quit praying. I yearn for a closer relationship with Him yet with all my struggles clouding my mind sometimes it is difficult to read and believe what I’m reading in my Bible.
I ask for the prayers of those who read this comment. Thanks, God Bless.
Shauna says
Totally get this. Prayers that God will send a helper to assist you in finding a place better suited to your resources where you are safe and cared for )if that is your need).
Patricia Brown says
Thank you Shauna. God Bless
Jas says
Please Lord send someone to help Patricia in her time of transition and need. Provide for her financially for this move and most of all I pray she can hear your voice, feel your love and grow closer to you. IJN, Amen
Patricia Brown says
Thank you Jas, many mornings on reading in courage I find such comfort that I share with many of my friends. I will continue to listen and pray. God Bless.
Becky Keife says
Patricia, I’m so glad you came to this space today to both read and share your struggles. God sees you. He knows every need you have and He is so worthy of your trust. Thanking God for you and asking Him tonight it make Himself known to you in personal, meaningful ways.
Patricia Brown says
Thank you Becky, today I visited my Family Doctor only to find that after 22 mths of my Diabetes being normal it has risen. I know the stress is driving it high and I will keep the faith and trust in Our Lord and Master. God Bless.
Beth Williams says
Patricia,
Praying for God to send assistance & discernment to you. May you feel His loving arms & hear His still small voice. Remember Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you.” “Plans to prosper you and not harm you. To give you a hope & a future.” He knows your every need & will come to your aid in His perfect timing!
(((((Hugs)))))
Patricia Brown says
1. My prayer is that I will respond to the situation with a Christ-like attitude, and that others also will see that God is “enough” for every situation I thank you for you prayer and HUGS. God Bless
Kim B Smith says
Becky, you totally wrote this for me this morning! Every morning I chose to spend and start my day with God, reading the Bible, journaling, being quiet and reading the blog post for (in)courage. I was so feeling all of this morning. Asking and yearning for more, not more social media time or laundry (really, who wants more laundry or even the time to do it, lol) but more. This year has been my year to return to God, sell off a huge part of my business and standing here saying “what do I want to be when I grow up” to slow down, simplify and yet another morning of yearning wholehearted direction, from God. My old patterns can go directly to “am I doing this right?” “Am I making things happen”, whoa, typing that just angst me up a bit, and when this happens I know and feel that I am out of the “hula-hoop” of God (I am an analogy person) and stepping into controlling things.
So with all of this, thank you for writing this because the struggle of listening and waiting is oh so real! The struggle of living in a physical world with sin and not being tempted of all of my to-do lists are real. And the feeling of lacking direction to me is so real!
Becky Keife says
KIm, I love reading your comment because it reminds me of how intimately God knows our struggles and delights in encouraging us exactly when we need it. It sounds like you are on quite a journey! I’m so glad you’re here with us and blessed to know this post resonated with you. Let’s keep pushing against the struggle of performance and productivity and pressing into God — may His presence and purpose reign first in our lives! In the thick of it with you.
Kim B Smith says
I love the “push against the struggle of performance & productivity and press into God! This is in my journal to remind me every day! thank you!
Julie says
This is what I have been needing to read. I’m in the season of craziness at home with a strong willed 4yo daughter and a 7mth old baby, I really struggle to get things done in this chaos. My husband works long hours and I feel like I am so alone in doing everything. I have no family help and some days I just feel helpless. I too am exhausted at the end of the day and turn to mindless net surfing for me time. But I feel empty, I can hear God whisper for me to turn to him. I am trying to find the time, and at this moment the end of the night when the house is quiet and the girls are fast asleep is the time I have. This post really spoke to me, thank you for sharing.
Becky Keife says
Oh, Julie, you are so in the thick of it in motherhood — my heart goes out to you because I have been there. My boys are a bit older now (5, 7, and 8), but when they were little like yours I found it super hard to get up before my kids and once they were up I had to be “on.” In that long season I learned that connecting with God didn’t have to mean an extended time of reading, journaling, and praying — even though that’s what I wanted. It could mean writing one verse on an index card and taping it to my kitchen cabinet where I would see it, read it, meditate on it many times a day until God’s Word — truth and hope and grace — sunk deep into my heart. I’m praying that God would lead you and encourage you as you find ways to answer His whisper and fill your soul with what it needs most — more of Him.
Anne B. says
How marvelous, how wonderful & my song shall ever be! Father God is ever teaching, ever drawing, ever loving us & calling, woing us to come away with Him! Blessings as you share God’s unfathomable love with all He brings to read His truth through your writing.
Maggie says
Thank you Becky!
Please pray for my daughter-in-law that she may let go of the tv and phone that are making her tired and depressed as she raises two beautiful babies.
Evil truly knows how to keep us from having intimacy with our Jesus and wih those around us that truly matter.
Blessings
Becky Keife says
Praying for daughter-in-law tonight, Maggie!
Brenda says
“I rise for Him.” — Beautiful, Becky. Quite literally, from the garden, we were made for relationship with Him. Such a sweet read today, thank you. ♥
Jas says
Amen!
Becky Keife says
So glad you’re here, Brenda. Thank you for your precious comment.
Ashley says
This spoke so loudly to me.. i literally woke up & turned straight to my phone to scroll through everything i missed overnight. News headlines are my addiction. As a senior undergrad student, it’s so easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of due dates & future plans after graduation in the spring, but reading this convicted me! “I rise for Him”. YES! Thank you
Becky Keife says
Ashley, yes, in every stage of life there are things that vie hard for our attention. Lately, I’ve been asking myself, Whose voice is the loudest in my life? I pray for me, and for you, that the answer can always be God. Blessings to you as you press into Him as you faithfully finish this exciting leg of your journey!
Judy says
Great post! Pray for my children who seem to spend more time on social media than enjoying their children!
Becky Keife says
Saying a prayer for your children, Judy … and all the weary, strecthed-thin, distracted mamas and papas. I get it. It’s hard to be fully present with our kids. But oh so worth it.
Cammie says
I needed this today, every word. God’s perfect timing and truth. Thank you.
Becky Keife says
God’s perfect timing and truth. That puts a huge smile on my face, Cammie. So grateful.
Maggie says
Becky thank you so much for this morning. I have been struggling with so much lately and wonder if God even hears my prayers anymore. Having just gone through Hurricane Irma, loss of income, still waiting on FEMA to help, being a widow for over 26 years(I am only 56). I have a wonderful man in my life, a good Christian man, but he is in the Army stationed in Afghanistan and they are getting ready to send him to Aleppo. I pray and pray, and read my Bible and devotionals, but I fear that God no longer hears me.
I am scared and afraid for his children and for his wellbeing. I am scared for myself. I have lost one husband, will God allow me to lose another before we begin a new life together? Am I not worthy of happiness and joy? It is not just these things, it has been this way even before I accepted Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. That was 28 years ago. Please sisters. Help guide me and pray for me.
Judy Gordon Morrow says
Maggie, my heart goes out to you, and I wanted you to know that I am praying for you. I’ve been alone for 17 years, and it hasn’t been easy. Yet out of these alone years came a desperation for God that has been life-changing. My time alone with my Lord first thing in the morning sets the tone for my day and has made all the difference. I would gently encourage you to read God’s Word. When I’m struggling, I often go to the Book of Psalms. And just spend time with him, as you would with a friend, having a two-way conversation. Our Lord loves you, he sees you, and he hasn’t forgotten you. I pray you will feel his embrace and comfort like never before.
Becky Keife says
Maggie, I’m so thankful for this place where we can gather as sisters and share our joys and heartaches, but I wish that I could reach through this screen and hug you. That is a hard hard place to be in wondering if God still hears you, if He still cares. I think of God’s promise in Psalm 9:10, “Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.” As you love and pray for your soldier from afar, as you recover from Irma and wait for resources and provision, I pray that you continue to trust God enough to seek Him daily. You are so loved.
Christine says
Becky – I see so much of myself in this post. The discontentment is there in the back of my mind like a cloud hanging over me. Longing for something more when I can’t possibly add anything else to my plate right now. Your words compel me to change some things. I have this void that I keep thinking I can fill with ministry and career opportunities when really only God can fill it. Thank you for making this so clear!
Becky Keife says
Christine, I’m so grateful for your comment and the insight God gave you. A void only God can fill. Yes! In our full-plate culture thre are so many good things we can add, do, seek, give ourselves to. But none will bring fulfillment if we aren’t first full with God. I’m learning (and relearning) the same thing in my own life. Cheering you on and praying for you as you choose Him.
Christine says
❤
Jen says
You have hit the nail on the head when it comes to being distracted!! I just told someone that busy moms are so powerful, so the enemy keeps us distracted on purpose. I have started getting up at 5am to have my Jesus and coffee and it has been an amazing time of connection. Do I still struggle? Sure. But I find it easier to listen to that small voice each day. Loved this line, “But living consumed by the struggle is not the life I want.” Me either!!
Becky Keife says
Amen, Jen! I am right there with you.
Shannon says
This. I needed this. Especially in my season of grieving, it’s all too easy to reach for those distractions instead of turning to Him. Purposing to do more than just read enough Scripture and pray enough to get by. Love you, friend!
Becky Keife says
Sweet Shannon, you are so dear to me…and even dearer to the Lord. He sees you and I trust He will be so faithful to walk with you through this season (this life) of loss and grief. Lean hard into Him. There’s no better place. Thanks for reading and being here.
Rebecca L Jones says
I found I do need sleep. Psalm127:2, and sometimes just some mindless entertainment, My day is packed with a prayer board and blogging. Praying for life threatening illnesses and illnesses and my own life catches up. We were cut out for divine connection Created for intimacy. Hand-picked for relationship. Sculpted for surrender. Wired for worship. I agree completely. I had a lady tell me my soul was wired to share deeply, guess that’s why I get tired, but I don’t think nearly as much as I used to.
Donnetta Richards says
Thanks so much. This was a well needed reminder. The time with my Father is so special and so needed. We never want to look at it as part of a to do list, but get to do.
Beth Williams says
Becky,
I, too, struggle with spending time with God. It is a battle of the flesh. Some days I would say oh just watch the news, drink some tea. Bible reading can be done later. It is a lie sent from the evil one. Other days I head for the TV & hear myself saying “have you read your Bible yet?” Constant battle against the worldly forces. We must win this battle-reading Bible, praying & having quiet time first thing in the morning. He is always waiting patiently for us. We must remember what He gave up & what He did for us!
Blessings 🙂
Maggie says
I just want to thank you all for your love and support, but mostly for your prayers and guidance through this difficult time. I wish that I could hug each and every one of you as the tears stream down my face. Thank God for we have this resource for touching one another’s lives and being blessed by words of encouragement and faith. But mostly, I am Thankful for a living and loving Father that never leaves my side and loves me unconditionally. Bless you all!