One Christmas morning at 12:15 a.m., I sat on the stairs in our living room, holding back tears.
The presents were wrapped. The stockings were stuffed. The casserole was in the refrigerator, ready for our breakfast, only six hours away. The children were sleeping with sugarplum dreams, and my husband was snoring.
But I was exhausted. Physically and emotionally spent before Jesus’s birthday celebration.
On the perch of my carpeted stairs, I could see evidence of my efforts to create a glorious Christmas morning for my family. But I couldn’t hold back my pain any longer. The pain I had tried to push back with weeks of frenzied activity.
I recalled decades of painful Christmas mornings, as a child of divorce stretched between two households. My husband had also endured many painful childhood Christmases. When we got married, our hopes were high for better holidays. But our extended families were still broken and Christmas gatherings were still painful.
The past few years had been painful ones in our marriage too. I feared for our future.
I felt like I was the glue holding our family Christmas together. I used every sticky method I could grab — the tape of decorating cookies, the glue of light displays, the binding of Christmas parades. I couldn’t remember ever experiencing a conflict-free, pain-free Christmas. Every glittery activity seemed to offer hope for just one happy Christmas.
Desperately I tried to create a Christmas for me and my husband that hadn’t existed in our pasts. A Christmas memory for our children that didn’t involve confusion, drama, and hurt.
And if I was being honest, I wanted to create one more happy memory just in case our marriage fell apart.
That’s when my tears fell. I cried out to Jesus: “Lord, I know this is your birthday. But does anything I do matter? Does any of this matter to you?”
Jesus spoke gently to me. He said, “I am the Prince of Peace.”
When I heard the Prince of Peace speak, I felt the peace I had been missing in all my striving.
I had known Jesus since I was a little girl. But until that moment I hadn’t invited Jesus into my Christmas celebrations. I invited Him in by saying, “I hand this Christmas over to you, Lord. I’m sorry for trying so hard. It’s yours to handle now.”
Then He extended invitations to me . . .
I accepted His invitation of peace — perfect peace that the world (or even family) cannot offer.
I accepted His invitation of healing — lasting healing I cannot generate from my own efforts.
I accepted His invitation of love — unconditional love that does not require perfection on my part.
I accepted His invitation of surrender — He is the glue that holds us together, so I can let go.
Since that time, our family Christmases have not been perfect, but they have been peaceful. When I put Jesus at the center of our Christmas, the other pieces fell into place.
Now I carve out extra time in Jesus’ presence before Christmas. I spend the first ten minutes of my December mornings just with Him, so I can enjoy His company in the busy season. In those quiet moments, He showers me with His love and rubs healing balms over my painful past.
If the presents don’t get wrapped, I still have peace with Jesus.
If the decorations aren’t perfect, I still have peace with Jesus.
If my extended family gatherings aren’t peaceful, I still have peace with Jesus.
The Prince of Peace gives me “the peace of God, which transcends all understanding” (Philippians 4:7) and my heart and mind is guarded in Him during this Christmas season.
Leave a Comment
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Sarah,
So wonderful to be reading your writing here this morning! I think Jesus wants to bring every one of us to the point wherein we realize that Christmas is truly just about Him – the Prince of Peace. Like you, I have tried to “make” Christmas – not only “make” it, but make it perfectly. I’ve tried to erase hurts and heal broken places, but it’s all been me striving. Like you, I have felt Him call to me, “Bev, make this (Christmas) just about me.” I guess you could say that’s my motto, “Christmas is ‘Just Jesus'”. What a relief to finally let go (even with that, He had to pry my controlling fingers off). I may not experience a “Norman Rockwell” Christmas, but as long as I have Him….that’s all that really matters! Beautiful!
May you have a blessed and joyous season of peace in Him,
Love you,
Bev xo
Sarah Geringer says
Hello Bev! We have similar spiritual paths, don’t we? Thank you for your kind words today. Blessings on your celebration this weekend!
Kathleen Burkinshaw says
I’m so grateful to read your words of faith. I needed the reminder of the only perfect gift, the gift of light and peace- Jesus.
Wishing you and your readers a Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year.
Sarah Geringer says
Good morning, Kathleen. I need the reminder myself! Checking out your site now. Blessings and God’s peace to you!
Kathleen Burkinshaw says
It is comforting to know we are not alone in this area! Thank you so much. I hope you enjoy my posts. Blessings and God’s peace to you and all your readers.
Anastasia Corbin says
Thank you for sharing this devotional! It encouraged my heart in so many ways. The peace Jesus gives is so powerful!
Sarah Geringer says
Thank you, Anastasia! I’m glad you found encouragement here today. Merry Christmas to you!
Denise Pass says
Such beautiful truth in this post. Thank you for sharing. The peace Jesus gives us overcomes any peace substitute the world offers. Merry Christmas, friend.
Sarah Geringer says
Thank you, Denise. Praying God’s peace over you as you walk your publishing journey. So excited for you!
Lee says
Thank you! We are celebrating Christmas this morning….all of our children (5 adults, 5 spouses, 13 grandchildren)….and I have been a wreck! I appreciate that the kids are willing to spend some time together, limited though it may be. Some are believers, some are not. My husband of 44 years and I have spent a painful year, dealing with the many crises in our kids lives (broken marriages, job changes, returns to college,differing political views, and so on, and on, and on….) and our own impending retirements.
I, too, spend too much time at the “top of the stairs” crying…..worrying about what is to come, what MIGHT happen….how the day will go….and then I chastise myself for not truly trusting God…..sigh…..
But Philippians 4 has gotten me through many a worrisome day…..Thanks for reminder that the soliloquy ends with “peace”….
Martha McNeal says
Thank you Sarah for redirecting our hearts and minds back to the One who is the main thing. With emphasis on our surrender to keep Him just that the main thing not only on holidays but every day. Let Jesus Christ be the center of our daily lives so that His peace will be constant, for He is our Peace.
Sarah Geringer says
Hello Martha. Yes, it’s so important to surrender our cares to Jesus every day. Praying God’s peace over you today. Merry Christmas!
Sarah Geringer says
Lee, I’m thankful you shared your heart here today. A prayer for you now:
Prince of Peace, I pray you will cover Lee’s family celebration with your perfect peace today.
Empower her to be your ambassador of peace to her husband, children, and grandchildren.
Remind her that you hold her close and collect her tears in your bottle, because she is precious to you.
I pray that Lee will know your peace, love, and joy today and through the trials ahead.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Lee says
Thank you for your kindness…..Yesterday went well. My kids were on their best behavior….My children all seem to enjoy their siblings and actually like them….spouses not so much, but they at least were civil….It was with great joy that we watched our grandchildren play and race around, oblivious to any tensions…..My husband and I felt the Lord’s presence with us. and I was remarkably calm!
May the Lord continue to bless your ministry! God has richly used “(in)courage” in my life!
Penny says
Sarah,
This was beautifully written. Thank-you so much.
Peace, joy, and hope to all this Season
Penny
Sarah Geringer says
Hello Penny! Thank you for your kind comment. Merry Christmas to you, and may God’s peace fill your heart.
Martha McNeal says
Thank you Sarah for redirecting our hearts and minds back to the One who is the main thing. With emphasis on our desire to keep Him the main thing not only on holidays but every day. Let Jesus Christ be the center of our daily lives so that His peace will be constant, for He is our Peace.
Martha says
This was wonderful and exactly what I needed to hear. Everything is not wrapped, baked or decorated, but my family can still have a peaceful Christmas by focusing on the true meaning. Thank you so much and Merry Christmas!
Sarah Geringer says
Martha, I’m glad that the words God gave me were a blessing to you. I’m right where you are–nothing wrapped yet, and cookies need to be baked today. But I’m experiencing extra doses of God’s peace by singing praises and thanking him in prayer. Merry Christmas to you as well!
Summer says
Sarah, I can relate in so many ways. Christmas has always been like a family background reality check and a painful reminder for me too.
I definitely need to make a point to invite the Prince of Peace into my chaos. I’ve known Jesus since I was a child, but I have never thought about it like this.
Thank you for sharing your heart! Merry Christmas friend!
Sarah Geringer says
Dear Summer–I love how honestly you share struggles on your blog. You always retain a sense of humor, and you have the joy of Jesus shining through you! Merry Christmas to you today, friend.
Lee says
These little letters on this site are such a blessing! It truly reminds me that wherever we are, whatever we are going through, their are believers there to come along side for God to use in our lives, at exactly the right moment, with exactly the right words. I’ll pray for your family, as Sarah has prayed for mine…
Heather L. Mattern says
Sarah, thank you for this reminder. It is so good to remember that His peace is ours when we turn to Him in everything, even Christmas craziness. I am learning this lesson again this year and find myself marveling at how simple His peace and joy can be when we get out of the way and let Him lead. Thank you for reminding me that I don’t have to be the glue. Jesus is the glue holding everything, including me, together. Have a wonderful, peaceful Christmas! Heather
Sarah Geringer says
Hello Heather! God’s “glue” is way stickier and more powerful than mine could ever be. I’m so very thankful Jesus holds all things together (Colossians 1:17). Blessings to you this Christmas!
Alyson | Write Them On My Heart says
Hi Sarah, This is such a beautiful post. Yes, we still have peace with Jesus – no matter what else is going on. And thank you for your book, Christmas Peace, which has kept me on track this year. God is using you and your ministry!
Sarah Geringer says
Thank you, Alyson. I appreciate your dedication to keep God’s Word at the forefront of our minds through your lovely artwork. Christmas blessings to you, friend!
Michele Morin says
Oh, Sarah, these words are all gift — 100% grace — for the hearts of all of us who long to put behind us memories of broken Christmases past.
Blessings to you as you continue to rest in Him for this celebration!
Sarah Geringer says
Dear Michele, thank you for your kind comment. Praising our Redeemer and Restorer of All Things today! Merry Christmas to you!
Lara says
Hi Sarah,
LOVE this post! I, too, have struggled with having PERFECT Christmas gifts, PERFECT decorations, PERFECT brunch and dinner. Ugh, it wears me out, but Jesus lovingly beckons me back to Him and His birth. He is so WONDERFUL!
Thank you for your words, Sarah. I pray that you and your family have a blessed and Merry Christmas! <
Lara
Sarah Geringer says
Hello Lara! Perfection has been my enemy for a long time. I’m honored to serve on the Grit N Grace Girls ministry team, which is all about pursuing grace instead of perfection. Praying God’s peace for you today!
Rory Lee Frey says
Thank you. Very good words given to you from an Amazing God. I appreciate you taking the time to share with us.
Sarah Geringer says
Thank you for your words, too! Merry Christmas!
Tiffiney | Welcome Home Ministry says
Good morning, Sarah! What a wonderful reminder this post is that we need to stop striving and allow the Prince of Peace to do only what He can do (a wonderful work) in our family at Christmas. Well written! I’m holding onto your words this Christmas season. Merry Christmas!
Sarah Geringer says
Hello dear Tiffiney! Praising the Prince of Peace alongside you today. Christmas blessings prayed for you, friend!
Brenda says
Sarah! What a beautiful post. And, so, so timely, as my husband and I are about to run to one more store for the stocking-stuffers we haven’t managed to get yet, and the holiday meals we haven’t managed to plan yet. — His peace. Yes. Thank you, friend. — So lovely to see your words here today. ♥ Merry Christmas. xoxo
Sarah Geringer says
Hello Brenda! Praying the Prince of Peace will guide you through this busy day. Christmas blessings to you, friend!
Rachel says
Thank you for your vulnerability Sarah. I’ve had some hard Christmases past, as well.
Different experience, but hard nonetheless.
I so appreciate your honesty.
For many, Christmas is filled with family, gifts, laughter and joy.
But for the rest, it can be a time of deepest longing, loneliness, heartache and pain.
I love that Jesus refers to Himself as our Prince of Peace! Indeed we could all use a little more peace in our lives.
I’m glad you were able to share your story here. It was a blessing to read. Merry Christmas Sarah!
Sarah Geringer says
Thank you, Rachel. I’ve learned of some of your difficulties through your blog. Your honesty inspires me. Praying God’s peace for you today, friend.
Diana Rockwell says
Dear Sarah, wonderful timely post for this time of the year. I love that we can experience peace in ciaous because of the Prince of Peace. Love your retreat roommate Diana
Sarah Geringer says
Christmas blessings to you, Diana! Glad to call you friend.
Doris Swift says
This is a wonderful reminder, Sarah. Thank you for sharing this beautiful post.
Sarah Geringer says
Thank you, Doris. So glad you enjoyed it. Christmas blessings to you!
Nancy says
Sarah, This is so heartfelt and beautifully written and I am quite sure you (and I) are not the only ones who have felt this way. Thank you Jesus for your grace, mercy and peace!!
Sarah Geringer says
Hi Nancy–Yes, I am sure many are experiencing similar heartache this Christmas. I’m praying that God leads them to read this post, so they understand they are not alone. Blessings to you!
darlean tipke-kane says
Poignant-grateful!
Sarah Geringer says
Thank you, Darlean! May God’s peace be yours this Christmas!
Bridget Lynch says
It is definitely all about Jesus! But, oh, how quickly we tend to forget- especially in stores, in traffic and/or with family. Thank you for sharing; we are not alone in each and every movement of this season and the next. May we all be reminded that He never leaves us or forsakes us… Not now, not ever.
Merry Christmas!
Sarah Geringer says
Hello Bridget! I know–I got somewhat impatient in extra traffic last night. My children rebuked me–ouch! But, I refocused on the Prince of Peace today. Thankful too for his constant, loving presence. Merry Christmas!
Rebecca L Jones says
What a wonderful post. We have all had those moments. That is why He came to be the Prince of Peace and when we wake up to the realization that He is the best gift we ever received, we can rest in His love at Christmas and year round.
Sarah Geringer says
Hello Rebecca! Thank you for your kind words. He is indeed the best gift we ever received! Blessings to you today.
Lynn Hughes says
Tears. Although my history with Christmas has been much different than yours, I have struggled for years with perfectionism and the desire to make everyone else perfectly happy.
That’s not my job. My job is to rest in the perfect peace of the Christ child this weekend, no matter what doesn’t go as planned.
Thanks for sharing.
Sarah Geringer says
Our stories are the same as far as perfectionism goes, Lynn. I spent five years in therapy to let go of it. Praying that you will know the all-sufficient grace only the Prince of Peace provides. Christmas blessings to you!
Beth Williams says
Sarah,
Why is we women strive to make the “perfect” Christmas? We think we must have a great meal-if only for two. Plus do all the activities, gift shopping, etc. All we really need is Jesus! We need to remember this is His birthday & nothing else. No big hoopla need be made. Just sing Happy Birthday Jesus & revel in a Savior come to rescue us from our sins. He will provide peace, healing & love.
Blessings 🙂
Sarah Geringer says
Hi Beth, We women put a lot of pressure on ourselves, don’t we? I agree–a peaceful Christmas is possible with whatever we have to offer. Merry Christmas to you!
diane thiel says
What a gift. God is so faithful and Jesus is all there is. Thank you my marria g is challenged and my gift is prayer in His peace. Peace to you and your family
Diane
Sarah Geringer says
Praying God’s peace in your marriage today, Diane. Merry Christmas to you!
Susan Brooks says
Sarah, I was directed to your honest assessment that you had finally recognized that you had done it all but it still was not enough. And more importantly, you knew that you were not the answer to the “perfect Christmas” or to the “perfect life”. That is where I find myself, too, again as in so many other Christmases. But you have shared some very important help for me. I have been trying for so long to accept the peace that you described but for some reason, I give it back pretty quickly. Today will be different. I need that peace so badly and it will be necessary not to give it back. Thank you. May you experience a Peaceful Christmas for you and yours.
Sarah Geringer says
Hi Susan! I need constant reminders to return to the Prince of Peace. For a long time, I’ve struggled with perfectionism and anxiety, and I only find lasting peace in his presence and promises. I understand how you struggle with giving it back. Today will be different for me–I’m choosing his peace to carry me through Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Blessings to you!
Karen Sargent says
Sarah, what a beautiful perspective in the midst of the holiday chaos. Thank you for reminding me to focus on the peace He offers.
Sarah Geringer says
Thank you Karen! Merry Christmas to you, friend.
Rochelle says
Thank you, Sarah, for this message. Struggling today and being reminded that He is the Prince of Peace was what my heart and mind needed. Thank you!!!
Sarah Geringer says
Dear Rochelle, you are in my prayers today. May God’s peace be yours this Christmas.
Karen Purkey says
Sarah, Thank you for the meaningful words today. As I read that this Jesus ‘ day, I said “Yes.”
I know that, but I let my own expectations get in the way. Forgive me Lord. Your words, Sarah
clicked, and rearranged my perspective.
I sprained my ankle quite severely a week ago, and have had to be off my feet most of the week.
I have been frustrated not being able to do all the “Christmas activities and parties” that I had planned to do.
My blessed husband has been helping me so much. Now, I can turn over three controls to Jesus. I can celebrate
birth with my whole being.
Have a beautiful Christmas with Jesus.
Sarah Geringer says
Hello Karen! Praying that your frustration will be replaced with his peace today. Merry Christmas to you!
Sarah Geringer says
Thank you, Susan. Merry Christmas!
Linda Stoll says
Ah yes, sitting on the staircase, spent, exhausted, broken.
You’ve captured our need for redemption, friend. How we need the Saviour …
Advent blessings to you, Sarah, right in the midst of all that swirls.
Sarah Geringer says
Hello Linda–It’s the day after Christmas now, and I still need Jesus! Thankful for the peace he gave me this Christmas, and for the peace he promises to give me today and always. Blessings to you!
Pearl Allard says
It’s early on Christmas morning, my kids are asleep, and my husband is snoring… so timely I read your article just now! Our struggles are different, but the answer is the same. Sarah, just…thank you.
Sarah Geringer says
Hello Pearl…I’m honored that my devotion was part of your Christmas morning. Thank you, and blessings to you!
molly says
Well done Sarah. You echo the sentiments of many of us at Christmas – a time of busyness and worldly demands at we attempt to make it the ‘perfect,’ storybook holiday. Thank you for reminding us that Jesus is here to give us that which we need the most, peace in our hearts (in Him).
Sarah Geringer says
Hi Molly. Now that Christmas is over, I can see how it was imperfect yet peaceful, thanks to Jesus. I hope it was the same for you!
Debbie W. says
Beautiful words and truths Sarah. The Prince of Peace is with us all year long if we just grab hold of him.
Sarah Geringer says
Hi Debbie…I’m just now getting back to the comments on here. Thank you for your comment, and blessings to you this week! I agree, the Prince of Peace will be reigning over the new year as well as Christmas!
Alice Walters says
Dear Sarah, thank you for your candor in sharing your desperate longing for peace. I think perhaps when we don’t have it, then we are able to grasp that peace is the bedrock of living out our faith.
Sarah Geringer says
Hello Alice! Thanks for your comment on here. Yes, I am so glad Jesus is our Rock of Salvation, and our Prince of Peace too. Blessings to you, at the end of 2017 and in the new year as well!
Lesley says
This is a beautiful post, Sarah! It is such a relief to let go and realise that it doesn’t all depend on us. Hope you and your family had a lovely Christmas!
Sarah Geringer says
Thank you, dear Lesley! We had a peaceful Christmas this year, thanks to Jesus. Hoping you will have a beautiful new year in the UK, friend!