As our family was leaving the house, our middle child fell down the stairs busting his chin open. My husband and I scrambled to get everyone back inside and assess the situation. Our son was dripping blood on the floor and his shirt. My husband knelt down with our son, reassuring him and taking a look at the wound. “He’s going to need stitches,” he said.
I jumped into a frenzied task mode, running to change my clothes so that I didn’t get blood on the cute outfit I was wearing. Then I started wiping up the blood from the floor before it soaked in and stained the light colored grout and tile in our new home.
While I ran around frazzled, my husband stayed with my son.
We had encountered the same situation but my husband and I had two very different reactions, his reaction being people oriented and mine being task oriented.
My whole life I’ve tended to fall on the task-oriented side of the equation. When something gets hard, I spring into action. Most of the time I think of this as a strength and badge of honor: I’m the person who gets stuff done. But when looking back on situations like this one with my son, my heart is sad and I wonder if perhaps I’m missing the things that are most important.
I recall the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10:
But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:40-42)
I am often worried and upset about many things, sometimes at the expense of missing the one thing that is needed. I long to be a Mary, to be the one who chooses what is better. A person who chooses peace and presence rather than worry and distraction.
I’m not here to bash Martha though –- we need Marthas. God created Marthas with the ability to be productive and that is a blessing to the body of Christ. Can you imagine a world without Marthas?
The way I’m starting to see it, it’s not Martha’s preparations that were the problem. It was her heart. She was worried and upset. She had stepped out of peace. She was accusing and comparing –- actions that are born of the accuser, not of Jesus.
Comparison always steals our peace, replacing it with pride or shame. When we compare and complain, we choose to entertain thoughts of worry and distraction over those of presence and peace in that moment.
Comparison makes me think of the expression ‘the grass is always greener on the other side.’ Comparison will leave us admiring other people’s grass. I prefer the expression ‘the grass is greener where you water it.’ Rather than admire the marriage, home, possessions, job, family, friendships etc. of others, it is better to invest deeply in our own. To cultivate greener grass in our own lives. In this case, rather than worry about what Mary was doing, Martha should have been contently focused on her task at hand, operating out of her gifting rather than getting distracted by what Mary was doing.
Choosing presence doesn’t have to mean that we sit idle at the feet of Jesus as Mary did. In His presence, we can get stuff done from a place of peace overflowing from the joy God has placed within us. This is when our tasks can become an act of worship. Presence is a choice we can make each minute. We can choose to engage God in each moment, in each task, choosing to do all unto Him, or we can allow our minds and hearts to become worried and distracted.
Which choice are you making today? Presence and peace, or worry and distraction?
Leave a Comment
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Shannon,
I love the twist on an old phrase, “The grass is always greener where you water it.” Amen! You are so right in saying that comparison does one of two things….we either wind up on the side of the scale that says, “I’m not enough, ” or we wind up on the side that says, “I’m better than….” Neither is where God wants us to be. He calls us to have a sober assessment of ourselves, which if you really think about it says that without Christ and apart from the vine, we are nothing. We are dead in our sinful tracks. When we let His blood cover us, we are ” God’s beloved” and “More than conquerors.” In short, the sweet spot is being present with Him , it leaves us little time for the comparison game which is always a lose, lose option.
Blessings,
Bev xx
Shannon Mangerchine says
Exactly Bev! I want to spend all of my time in the “sweet spot” of God’s presence!
Michele Morin says
What a mercy that God put you two together to maximize your strengths and compensate for the corresponding weaknesses. You sound like the perfect tag-team parenting pair, to me!
I know what you mean, though, about leaping into action and forgetting about the people in the room. God has grabbed me by my cape a few times, and I’m still working on the hard task of stopping and turning my head toward the voice that wants my full attention.
Blessings to you, Shannon, and thank you for reminding me to mirror the wonderful qualities of our relational God.
Shannon Mangerchine says
Thanks Michele. We do make a great parenting team. Blessings to you.
Jeannie says
Woke at 4am this morning, with my To-Do List running through my head. Then, of course, my Done List was lingering, with questions of Did I do that right? Should I have made a different decision? A bit after 5am, I got up and opened my Bible. God’s instructions and leading washed away all the stress and questions, giving me focus and nourishment for both today and the future. His Word is truly a two-edged Sword that we should understand how to wield in every situation, so that we can balance our “Martha” with our “Mary”….Thanks for the validating word in this, Shannon!
Shannon Mangerchine says
I can relate to many of those same thoughts and questions Jeannie. I do love how in spending time with Jesus none of those questions seem to matter as much anymore.
gma says
So,so true!
Shannon Mangerchine says
❤️
Ada Joe says
“…I am often worried and upset about many things, sometimes at the expense of missing the one thing that is needed. I long to be a Mary, to be the one who chooses what is better. A person who chooses peace and presence rather than worry and distraction…” -That stood out for me…Thank you for sharing this Shannon…
I will make a conscious effort to choose #presence and #peace always…❤️
Shannon Mangerchine says
Yes Ada Joe. I am right with you in that choice.
Leanna Williams says
Thank you for the reminder. My sister is a Martha. She has a clean house, has always made good choices in her life, has her finances all together…well you get the picture. I, on the other hand am a Mary. Since I got saved in 2004, and felt God’s presence for the first time, I have been hooked. My life is forever changed. From the inside out. I am disorganized, a single parent, and kind of go from thing to thing. I need the balance, I admit. But I would t change the things I have gone through for anything…I have a relationship with God now. And sometimes in the middle of the night, God come to visit. And I love and cherish those times. It is not the only time I hear him or feel his presence, but I cherish them. God bless you…sounds like God has put together a good team in you and your husband.
Shannon Mangerchine says
He is such a good Father Leanna! I love the way He uniquely engages and reveals Himself to each of us.
Emily Susanne says
I love this so much! I tend to be a Martha, but it’s so nice to know that I can be who God made me to be and keep my heart and mind focused on Him. It reminds me of Proverbs 4:27, which has been on my heart lately. Comparison really is the thief of joy, but it’s so easy to do. Especially as a writer. Thank you for this!
Shannon Mangerchine says
Oh I love Proverbs 4:27, it reminds me to ‘keep my eyes on my own paper’ and to “run the race set before ME”, not the race set before others!
Nancy Ruegg says
Oh yes, Lord, remind me to choose your peace and presence even as I “get stuff done!” May my heart be turned to you more and more, until I am continually practicing your presence (like Brother Lawrence). Thank you, Shannon, for a very meaningful post!
Shannon Mangerchine says
Amen to that Nancy! I am also a big fan of Brother Lawrence.
Anne B. says
Abba Daddy, thank you for calling us to rest even in the midst of our busyness-to always acknowledge you are present at all times-loving us to be your beloved as you are our beloved!
Shannon Mangerchine says
Amen!!!!
Kim B Smith says
Great post, Shannon. I too go into action mode, however, I am learning to do this from Peace and His place, not mine. Dropping the comparisons and to turn Him. I am learning.
Shannon Mangerchine says
That’s great Kim! Thank God for the Holy Spirit and His grace and power working in us leading us in His ways.
Beth Williams says
Shannon,
Loved this: “The grass is always greener where you water it.” I believe we must do what we can with our God given talents. Some of us are Marys – wanting to be with the people in the room. I, like you, am a Martha. I want to spring into action & do something. The world needs both Marthas & Marys. Each one has special unique talents to lend to any situation.
‘When we compare and complain, we choose to entertain thoughts of worry and distraction. God doesn’t want worried disciples. He wants us out there showing the love of God to all people. I pray we can all use our talents equally and enjoy each other without playing the comparison game!
Blessings 🙂
Shannon Mangerchine says
“God doesn’t want worried disciples.” Yes! Such a good word Beth!
Vickie says
Thank you, Shannon! These are now in my Quotes Journal:
Comparison always steals our peace, replacing it with pride or shame.
The grass is greener where you water it.
Shannon Mangerchine says
Yay!
Rebecca Jones says
Mary chose the one thing needful, not a bad idea.
Shannon Mangerchine says
Yes! May we all choose being with Jesus above all else!
karyn says
thank you for this perfect and timely post!
Shannon Mangerchine says
So glad you enjoyed it Karyn!
Louise says
As is always the case God’s perfect timing that I should read your writing today. Been “feeling” shadows of jealousy toward a friend at church. I’ve confessed to God I don’t want to have these feelings as she is a lovely person! And asked Him to please do radical surgery in me to remove this burden. Your words to take my eyes off the Mary and focus on being obedient and use the abilities He created me with, was just a beautiful reminder of what I knew but had lost track of. Thank you Father for speaking to me through Shannon’s words. Thank you Shannon. xx