I was there to give. To serve. It was our first leadership meeting of the year after a brief hiatus, during which I’d had my first child. Bleary-eyed and utterly befuddled by the newness of parenting, I questioned the wisdom of my participation on the leadership team.
The challenges of being a mother had caused me to feel less capable in other areas of my life, as well.
As our morning progressed through team building and planning exercises, I grew aware of a need for a friend—a mentor—to journey with me. Someone for whom the waters in which I was sailing weren’t uncharted. The women gathered in the room possessed both the wisdom and the heart to fill that newly discovered need. But, as servants already giving themselves to our shared labor, how could any of them possibly have the time?
One woman was new to me and to the team, but her contributions to the conversation over the course of our morning had revealed a depth that I craved. Afraid I’d never ask if I didn’t do it immediately, I summoned the courage.
My approach was unadorned: “I know we don’t really know each other, but I’ve just realized how much I need a mentor. Would you consider it?”
Though understandably surprised, her response was graceful and indicative of the way she would walk alongside me in the years to come: “Nobody’s ever asked me that before. I’m humbled. Let me pray about it.” A short week later, she enthusiastically folded me into her life.
Over the coming months we got to know each other. She accommodated my needs as a young mother, visiting during naps or joining me for a walk with my daughter. I shared whatever issue was plaguing me that week, whether mothering, marriage, money, friendship, or faith. She listened; I felt heard and cared for by her attentiveness to the expression of my heart.
Often, she’d then relate a similar experience from her own life, which not only equipped and encouraged me to meet that challenge, but also allowed me to know her. Yet what stands out most from those conversations was that she always pointed me toward God through a relevant verse or Biblical vignette.
Our walks and talks continued over the course of years. She called me faithfully every week, remembering what we’d last discussed, asking for updates. She sent cards and notes of affirmation. She prayed for me. She introduced me to historical and contemporary Christian thinkers like Ironside, Spurgeon, and Stedman, sowing wisdom in the soil of my heart.
A few years later, I was tapped for a new leadership position in the very organization in which we’d met.
The position was one for which I felt insufficient—too young, too immature, too much a sinner. I processed this opportunity aloud with her, giving voice to my fears. In response, she made a poignant case for why I’d been asked to begin with, expressing confidence in me, in the women who’d asked me, and, most importantly, in the God who enlivens His gifts in our lives to accomplish His purposes.
Her investment in me over the years not only enriched my life day-to-day but also emboldened me to take on a new challenge by reminding me of God’s power at work through His people. That position ushered in one of the most growth-full seasons of my life.
I feel overwhelmingly the beneficiary of our friendship, though she’d gracefully say that she, too, received. She has loved me, and my spouse and children, through some of our darkest hours, offering her resources—both practical and spiritual—at great sacrifice. When I reflect on how we first met, I can’t help but smile when I realize that it was because I’d gone to the meeting that day… to serve, to give.
Perhaps this is a small glimmer of what Jesus meant when He said these words:
Leave a CommentGive, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. (Luke 6:38)
Anastasia Corbin says
Love this devotional! Thank you for sharing your story. A mentor is so vital to have. I have been blessed beyond words with my mentor!
Kirsten Holmberg says
I’m so glad to know that you’ve had someone, Anastasia!
Michele Morin says
Kirsten, I have been blessed by the out-pouring of a mentor as well, and I echo your feeling of having been so firmly on the receiving end, and yet my dear friend insists that she has benefited as well. Of course, this should come as no surprise in a kingdom that defines giving and receiving out of the same blessing bucket.
Kirsten Holmberg says
Well said, Michele! What’s funny is that I’m now the age she was when we started meeting, which makes me realize I need to pouring in to others’ lives now!
Debra says
Wow just wow – thank you for sharing this heartwarming story – I have been patiently waiting for God to reveal to me a much needed mentor or spiritual mother if you will – perhaps she is already in my midst?
Kirsten Holmberg says
What a great thing to wonder… what if she is? Praying God will open your eyes to see her, if that’s the case!
Carol says
We are blessed to be a blessing, something we have to take to heart.
Kirsten Holmberg says
You’re so right, Carol!
Louise says
I’d love a mentor!
Jeanne says
How can I help?
I couldn’t pass up your comment without feeling I should respond.
Louise says
Aw thank you Jeanne for replying. I don’t know.
Louise says
Maybe pray I find a mentor, thank you
Kirsten Holmberg says
Louise! That’s wonderful! Do you have a way to connect with someone? Through church or some other organization? Let’s brainstorm!
Kirsten Holmberg says
Louise! I love that you want one! Do you have a way to explore some options? Church or another organization? Let’s brainstorm!
K Ann Guinn says
…..and you summoned up the courage, unhesitatingly, and asked! that would be the hard part for me. Although I have wonderful Christian parents and have some really good relationships, I’ve often thought that pursuing a mentor would have been helpful and a comfort. Thankfully, God provides what we need, but it’s wonderful when we take the step to ask.
I could still use some mentoring at 51, but am also trying to be open to help others who are younger. Thanks for sharing your story.
Kirsten Holmberg says
K Ann, it was a very uncharacteristic move for me. Almost impulsive because I knew I wouldn’t do it if I thought about it. I’m grateful that you’re open to giving as well as receiving — regardless of our age!
Women Seeking Christ says
We had a mentoring program at my church and I had the privilege of getting to know two lovely college girls, but it seemed to me that it was a little forced. I think mentoring relationships are like other relationships. Two people click and are comfortable with one another. We need different mentors at different times of our lives. We are never too young or old to grow through a mentoring relationship, especially one that fits our life at that moment.
Kirsten Holmberg says
I think you’re right, Patrice. I’ve had that experience, too. There were definitely moments that were awkward, but eventually we fell into step. Other times, I’ve had a mentor for a specific reason–and, therefore, a specific season which made it easier for both sides. 🙂
Rebecca Jones says
I wish i had had someone to turn to at certain times, mentor are a good idea.
Kirsten Holmberg says
Rebecca, do you have a way to seek out a mentor? It’s been such a help for me!
Beth Williams says
Kristen, believe
Praise God you stepped out in faith. God wants us to step out in faith & ask for what we need. He will generously supply that need. Mentors are very important. The Bible is clear about mentoring. Titus 2:3-5 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. God wants us to share our knowledge with others. I believe that is why we have trials. Once we’ve traversed that road we can then help others.
Blessings 🙂