When I hang his shirts next to mine in the closet, there are surf brands, the same ones he wore when he had hair bleached white by the sun and waves. When his skin was tan and his mouth tasted like wintergreeen gum and saltwater. When I spread my beach towel with arms wide and the tradewinds swooped down and lifted the corners from my fingertips like a magic carpet and I would nestle my body in hot white sand and lift my eyes to the sea and she would offer the lip of a wave for his surfboard and I’d see the arms I loved paddling into the white and blue horizon.
Love was so easy then.
We hadn’t yet cried over blood that shouldn’t have come and left the hospital with an empty womb and even emptier arms. Love was easier before grief touched us.
I hadn’t yet stood in line for orange prescription bottles to try to chase away depression and anxiety. It was easier before my face crumpled and my body sagged and my hair went unwashed while my mind unraveled. I’d turn away from him at night and cry into my pillow, and I was powerless to explain the sadness or make it go away. He hadn’t yet held me when I went limp like a rag doll and confessed my darkest thoughts in a voice that knew nothing but sorrow and shame.
We hadn’t yet raised our tempers and assaulted each other with unholy tongues, with faces flushed with fury, and lashed about with our words, slamming doors, and demanding that we be loved better while raging only in the wrong done to us. We hadn’t yet blamed each other for our unhappiness because we were both so dang miserable together. We hadn’t yet screamed, “I don’t even know who you are anymore! You’re not who I fell in love with!”
We hadn’t yet answered the door to the man with the past due notice there to shut off our water while I stood with a wailing baby on my hip and piles of dirty laundry stacked by the washing machine waiting for a break to shovel them in. And the angry red bills showed up far more frequently than the paychecks.
We hadn’t known he would want people over and the BBQ going and I would long for quiet and solitude and one moment away from the children after homeschooling all week.
We hadn’t known he would want me to sit next to him on the couch while we watched American Pickers or loggers or some other show with bearded men in the wilderness doing wilderness-type things. That he would want my hand in his and our thighs touching and that this would be enough for him. That touch would be a language that healed his aches.
We hadn’t known that I would need so much tenderness in his words, so much reassurance that I belonged to him and that I was lovely and that I was needed. That I would need to hear that my words and passion and purpose matter, that the suffering and beauty wasn’t in vain. That I would need him to look me in the eyes and believe for me when I couldn’t.
We hadn’t known that I would need him to take the garbage out and bring home takeout and ward off visitors on my bad days and when it was all done I would love him back by rubbing the burdens from his shoulders.
We hadn’t yet known how hard making a life together is: when he was a boy and I was a girl, and we were newly in love.
I hoist the laundry basket onto hips that have birthed his three babies into the world. Our oldest now stands four full inches above his father. He is almost 18- an adult- although it pains me to admit my child is a man. Older than his father and I when we first met.
I hang up the flannel shirts Josh now layers over his surf shirts because we are far from the waters of our youth and the cold sets in here.
I pile his painter whites into a basket. No washing will ever get out the eggshell pewter and semi-gloss antique white that form crunchy patches on his work pants. We replace them with new painter whites when he wears holes in the knees from kneeling along floorboards and masking off trim day after day. All of our married life he’s bent his back and stretched his arms as wide as the cross covering over the chipped and failing paint, and he’s filled in the cracks until his hands split and bled, until the walls were fresh and new.
He’s a simple man with simple pleasures. He drinks his Folgers black. He likes driving to the country store to pick up a styrofoam cup of worms and head to the river baiting his hook and casting his line and he doesn’t rush the waiting. He doesn’t overthink things or pace across the floor. He doesn’t carry words with him. His energy is channeled from his elbows to his fingertips. He likes to tinker with things, engines or earth or the lodgepole pine he’s cut and planed into projects. He’s only cried a handful of times and his deep gut laugh is rare, and you feel somehow chosen on the occasions you’ve managed to charm it from him. He only wants to fall in bed after he’s washed the sawdust off, pull me close, and wrap his arms around me. He falls asleep in seconds.
If we ticked off check boxes in an ideal mate or the perfect match at the outset, I’m sure the database would have calculated our chances at happiness and spit out a warning. We are not an ideal pairing.
I am a complicated woman with complicated pleasures. I drink my coffee sweet and milky. I rush the waiting of everything and it’s not in my nature to be still for long. I’m restless and anxious and I have worn holes in my soul from the pacing. I cry with abandon, plop myself on my bed and weep at times, when it feels necessary and right, and no other response will suffice. But I am just as quick to laugh with my head tipped back and my mouth sprung open, a loud cacophony of abandon. I tinge conversations with sarcasm and turn things into jokes we carry on for years like some secret inside society where a small phrase carries our memories and our moments. One knowing glance at the right moment and our children will howl with laughter. I don’t have the patience to fix things, or the mind to understand tools and gadgets. I drown under the burden of words and often find myself breathless. I only want to sleep with a mountain of pillows on my side of the mattress. His holding arms make me hot and stifled; I like space for my legs to wander towards the cool spots in the sheets. I toss and turn, and my mind never stills.
And yet, we’ve slept almost 20 years like this. Our queen bed hastily replaced with a king-sized one once we added children to the mix and we’d often find random limbs and elbows in our faces or ribs in the middle of the night. It was used and old and over the years it sagged more and more, finding us in the middle, rolling towards each other.
There were embarrassing stains we couldn’t fully get out from nights those babies ended up in our bed and we all woke up in the pitch dark to a soggy stain where the diaper failed. How many of those nights did we grab one of those ratty beach towels from our first days and throw it over the spot, change the baby, and climb back in bed bleary-eyed and exhausted?
I went on a trip a few years back and while I was away, Josh sent me a text of a new mattress he’d found at an estate sale. It still had the tags on, not the ones warning against removal that everyone tears off pillows, but the actual sales pamphlets. It was in the guest room and got no use. He strapped it to our minivan and drove it home.
I came home to a king sized pillow top, but our sheets didn’t quite fit.
“It’s a California King,” he mentioned casually. “It’s longer on the end but four inches narrower, but that just means we’ll sleep closer.”
He winked at me and smiled and I saw it then. The boy he once was, the man he had become. The way his whole body has served me and how his calloused hands soften the ache when he reaches across the space to find me.
My body speaks peace to him.
I know this now, these simple things of a life together. The inside jokes and the inside tears. The things we’ve fixed and the things we’ve broken, the things that have broken us. The dreams we carried and the cold realities we endured. The ways we’ve learned each other.
We were never an ideal match; we have been strangers as often as we’ve been friends. We grew up side by side but not always together. We’ve had to relearn what it is to make space for each other. I never thought the training grounds for hospitality would be in the welcoming of who we are.
I am not that girl anymore, the one with plumeria oil on her neck and no weight on her shoulders. I am a woman now with my laundry basket almost emptied. I rest it on the corner of our bed to match the random socks that are always left over.
We’ve made a life here and love doesn’t get easier but it gets closer. This past year we closed the gap another four inches.
There’s a hospitality in receiving the man you end up with. It’s in accepting the stranger you see on days when he’s so far from the boy you started out with. It’s the grace you have for the girl turned woman who always has one sock left over and no match.
And some nights, he’ll lay his body down next to mine and we’ll remember what it’s like to love like it’s easy. To love like it’s new. I’ll welcome you.
Hospitality is the space to say, “Come as you are, and I’ll find new ways to love you.”
Leave a Comment
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Alia,
So you’re telling me there’s no such thing as happily ever after? Happily may look different on different on different days. In marriage certainly every day is not a mountaintop experience. Life gets hard. It gets real. The flaws don’t go away after you say, ” I do.” Most often they become magnified. But that means that MY flaws become magnified too. I love your beautiful telling of continuing to reach out in hospitality to our mates….even when tragedy, disappointment, anger, frustration, boredom hit (and they will). When you put two flawed humans together and tell them to live in close proximity and raise a pack of humans (all with their own issues), truth is – it ain’t easy! Here’s to sticking in there and looking for the parts of our people to love. May we have God’s eyes to see beauty when we see bewilderment. Thank you, as always, for sharing openly from the heart.
Blessings,
Bev xx
Jacque says
I believe that there are seasons in a marriage. We’ve been married 20 years. He’s different than when I married him. Praying he comes back to the man he was. But if he doesn’t I’m still going to love him. He’s my man and I’m fighting for him. Please pray for us as we go through this journey. I’ll pray for you too. ♥️
Tish says
Luv thi
Tish says
Luv This
Carol says
Very beautifully put! We do break many things and many things break us through the years. But there is always the coming back together and rediscovering our common ground.
Michele Morin says
I read this with a lump in my throat and thanksgiving in my heart for the hospitality of nearly 30 years with a guy who is still finding new ways to love me. Thanks for bringing words to the table here in the midst of busy days and blessings to you as you labor over your manuscript.
Alia Joy says
I love that, Michele, and congrats on nearly 30 years! That’s amazing. And thanks. Finishing this manuscript has basically felt like me crawling towards my deadline.
Monica says
That was beautifully written.
Christy says
That was beautiful.
Lisa Evola says
This. This ismy hearts cry for so long no. Thank you for putting it into words Alia. God bless your life and your days – together.
Teresa says
I think you just defined true love.
You also took a great risk by being vulnerable. Thank you
Alia Joy says
Thanks for reading, Teresa!
Maylee says
What a beautiful story of love you shared. This is what love is, messy, crazy, insane and yet so full of richness. We all are not the ideal pair I know as well. My hubby Paul and I had been married for 23 years and we have gone through similar events such as you. It feels good to know we all had walked similar paths. That we all struggled with the same issues. God doesn’t say we will live happily ever after, He tells us that in this world we will have many trials and tribulations and it is through His grace that we will be forgiven. This love thing is definitely not easy but in the end, it is so worth it when you find whom loves your soul. Thank you for sharing.
Jen says
So true❤️
Alia Joy says
Yes! I always say, he’s home to me. It’s as mysterious and as simple as that.
Karen Van Rooyen says
Alia, I receive so much from your contributions to this ministry. You are real and write openly and honestly from the heart. Thank you so much for the important reminders and continued blessings in your writing.
Alia Joy says
This is such a kindness to me today, Karen. Thank you.
Andree says
Thank you for penning this reminder every spouse needs! I love that you write with such intimacy, brutal honesty, no fear of judgment, and so very beautifully. Thank you for your words today….
Alia Joy says
Thanks Andree. I’m glad it speaks to you.
Emily Susanne says
Wow, this post really made me reflect on what real, Christlike love is for marriage. I’m not married yet, but I am in a committed relationship. My aunt told me that people change over the course of a marriage, and that you can grow together.
Alia Joy says
Yes, you certainly can. Our story is not everyone’s story but the intention it takes to continue to chose each other, to continue to learn new ways to love each other? That is where real love happens. Because we are changed, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer. There are so many things we cannot anticipate and those things change us. When we say our vows, we often have no idea what our lives might hold. We choose to love the one we marry through it all. It’s as simple and as hard as that.
Sarah Geringer says
Beautifully written and inspiring. Love all the details you shared.
Alia Joy says
Thanks for reading, Sarah.
Cat says
Heartfelt. Beautiful. A painting of the resolution time and life brings to those who never surrender to the burdens they bring, but grasp instead to the good. To learn that newly minted love, so deep and sweet, pales in the comparison to the love found through the years lived. Thank you for sparking me to love even better the man who shares my life and is far, far removed from the boy he was, as I am from the girl he married.
Alia Joy says
Yes, we’re not those same people, that idealistic boy or girl, but sometimes I’m lucky and I get a glimpse, a memory, and I remember we’ve built a whole life together and we’ve got some spark left yet. 😉
Liz Petruzzi says
Love this – I am turning over your words and message – will re-read. Beautiful message, beautifully said.
Lindsay says
This is so beautiful! It made my heart cry out in gratefulness for my sweet hubby and encouraged me to love him better. Thank you.
Alia Joy says
Oh this is the best! I’m so glad.
karen says
THIS is the most beautiful piece you have ever written. I was touched by it and will DEF be rereading it! Thanks for the glimpse in to your marriage!
Alia Joy says
Thanks Karen. This is one of my favorites too. Mostly because it’s our love story. It’s the story I will pass on to my kids to show how their dad and I learned to love each other. Again and again.
Kathy T says
“There’s a hospitality in receiving the man you end up with.” Truth so beautifully said. Needed exactly this today❣️
Alia Joy says
I’m glad it met you today.
Marsha Howell says
What a beautiful message! I’m sure the time will come when I’ll refer back to this, and it will comfort me. BTW, you write beautifully! You have a gift for words. Good bless you and your family.
Dana Butler says
Breathtaking, friend, and dang it, I love you.
Alia Joy says
And I you. Miss your beautiful face, friend. I think of you often and say a little prayer for wherever your day finds you.
Patty says
This was such a touching story that I cried as I read it. Every young man and woman considering a lifetime of covenant marriage should read this article. It is filled with truth and beauty and the marks of authentic love. Christ told us to love as an act of our will. We need that reminder daily. Thank you. Patty
Julie Garmon says
Stunning~~
xoxoxoxoxo
Amy says
Alia,
Thank you for your beautifully well written blog about marriage and life together. God has been putting hospitality on my heart and this is another way He is speaking to me about showing hospitality also to my husband. Thank you Lord for your words shared through Alia. HE is giving me ( a perfectionist who is hesitant to host any gatherings) the confidence to go simple and just invite others into my home. I ask God to help me show hospitality towards my husband of 21 years. It is refreshing to know that I am not alone with a lot of those feelings, life events, etc. that you have also been through during your lives. Have a blessed day Alia. Hugs
Alia Joy says
You’re not alone. And I’m glad you’re exploring ways to push past those perfectionistic tendencies. The greatest grace I’ve had in relationships is being freed from some of that. Honesty is our invitation. Sometimes the greatest gift we can give others is our ability to be imperfect. To allow them room to breathe a little and not have to pretend to have it all together either.
Molly Parks says
Dear Alia Joy,
Your writing is so vulnerable, and real, and honest, and thought-provoking! I read your pieces over and over and over and never get tired of the way you say things and the words resonate in my mind for hours. Thank you for the wonderful outlook you have on life and the living of it. You, dear girl, are a tremendous blessing to this elderly woman whose life is enriched by the in.courage community day after day. I am thankful for you and the way you write so beautifully about living life. And for your being a part of this community of ministry and sharing our lives.
Alia Joy says
This comment was a blessing to me today as I’m finishing writing work and meeting deadlines and feeling all the weariness that comes with telling the hard parts of my story and indeed living through them. The past few weeks have been really tough and this comment was such an encouragement that it all matters. God uses it all. I’m so glad you join us here, Molly. This was a lovely pick me up at the perfect time.
jennifer says
When I got to the part where you grabbed the old beach towel to change the baby, I started to cry. Beautiful, inspirational post. Thank you.
Alia Joy says
We just got rid of those old towels a few years ago after over a decade of use. They had so many memories I kept them for much longer than they were useful.
Katheryn says
Thank you so much for sharing your heart and a glimpse of your marriage with us today. Your message really touched me today, and was absolute perfect timing.
Jen says
Beautifully put! It’s refreshing and cleansing to read that we all have similar thoughts and experiences throughout marriage. After 23 years, I still haven’t figured out this “boy” I married that is now a man. We’ve raised 2 “men” together by the grace of God. I too have struggled with depression and anxiety and struggle to explain it to the man on the other side of the king-sized bed. Yet, he shows me God’s love through his time and presence. Praise God for marriage…and girlfriends to help us through
Alia Joy says
Amen.
Suzi says
Just…beautiful.
Lora Leftwich says
Wow- this is beautiful! You describe marriage perfectly. Thank you.
Krista Lynn Campbell says
Beautiful and moving. Thank you for sharing your soul.
Julie says
This post is beautifully written and it is so real. I love your honesty and hope you and your husband continue to grow closer. Life sure does get crazy once kids are added into the mix, which is the season that I am in right now with two small children. My husband works very hard and I am left with doing everything and at times I feel we are distanced and getting time alone together is hard. But marriage is hard and there will be difficult times and really no one is going to be perfect every day. I had never thought of showing hospitality to my husband, but this post has inspired me and some one has to make the effort. Thanks to The Lord for letting me read this today.
Alia Joy says
I love that so much! God is good. His timing perfect.
Brenda says
The face of an 89 year old man looking at you with love in his eyes that have cateracts that need attention soon, the fact that he now needs braces to hold up his pants as he has lost weight and his lovely dark hair has somehow turned white and become thin. The way he staggers now to his invalid scooter when he used to stride out with our golden retriever for miles alongside me…but faster and leading me on. All speak to me of a bond that has lasted through 59 years of wanting, and waiting, for the children who never came. The care and tenderness I have received through 4 major operations and recently a heart attack. The way we can finish each other’s conversations and turn to each other when something comes on t.v. and say with laughter “do you remember when”? This is what Love is and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
As we enter the final act of our married life I know this is the man I will wait for if I go first and am sure he will be there with his once strong arms waiting for me if God calls him first.
Mokihana says
Thank you for your comment, Brenda… what a testimony of what marriage can look like.
May says
It is what life really is to an ordinary couple I guess. Blessings Bxxx
Alia Joy says
Oh Brenda, this is so stunningly beautiful. You have me in tears. Yes! Yes to small beginnings and fumbling middles and you are in the final act of your married life and finishing well. What an achingly gorgeous testimony to loving the one we’re with. Yes, this is what love is. Bravo!
May says
Thank you my dear, it was a privilege to share with you and thank you also for sharing your tears…… they too are part of life aren’t they? Brenda xxx
Alia Joy says
Yes, I saved so many of my tears for the first 30 years of my life. I kept them in and pushed them down. I’ve more than made up for that in the last decade. They are a part of life. It took me so long to realize it.
May says
To explain my full name is Brenda May!!
Beth Williams says
Brenda,
This is beautiful. Thank you for a most warm look at married life int he second act. Love the tenderness of your words. I pray God will bless you both richly!
Blessings 🙂
May says
Thank you Beth, yes we have been blessed for so long and so richly…. in ways that perhaps were chosen for us alone. Blessings, Brenda xxx
Little Mary says
Wow dear Brenda. This is what I am going to strive for. If I ever get to reach this life stage you’re in, I want to be able to say something like that, too. As a young girl with hopes yet fears of not seeing them fulfilled, this post really touches my heart. I sometimes worry over whether it is really worth it to marry with all the difficulties I hear/see will come with it…but posts like Alia Joy’s and yours give me hope and reassurance. And if it’s God’s perfect will, then it’s gonna be worth it anyway 🙂 !
“This is what Love is and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” – Yes, it is difficult to view love in a realistic way when you’re not in a relationship yet. The world is full of voices telling young people what love is supposed to be like. They portray it as ideal all the time. But then, it’s hard not to go to the other extreme and only focus on the negative things. The struggles. The fact that we change. That there will be hard times. Thankfully, the Word of God guides us and reajusts our way of thinking when we dive into it and let ourselves be transformed by the renewing of our mind…!!
So thank you again for these posts! I will totally go back and read them again…often! Praise the Lord for you!
May says
Dear Mary, when you meet the right one for you, you will know because I did. Some came before but were not right for me.It didn’t seem that way at first but we grew together.
Good times make the bad times easier to handle. Hugs heal everything. Hand joined together with each other – and in my case often in prayer – are the basis of a long lasting relationship. Give each other the respect you would give to a stranger.
We were born in the 1930’s in a time of depression so we learned from our parents what is really important in life. It is often not what you WANT but what you HAVE that matters. We also lived through World war 2 in our teens so found out then what is really important in life I guess.
You have the right way of looking at life already my dear and your words are precious to me, and I would recommend Psalm 91 as one of my favourite readings in time of need.
I pray that when you look back, when you get to my age, you will be able to say, “I have done well and am satisfied” then smile… both from your heart and with your lips for you will know it is true.
Keep a young mind too because it keeps you young, John is my rock as I am learning to play the piano and without his constant encouragement (and the poor lad listens to my fumbling fingers too) I would have given up as I have been trying for 4 years. However today I got my latest piece “Joy to the World” ticked off by my tutor so we are both smiling.
God bless you, Brenda xxx
Little Mary says
Dear Brenda,
Congrats on your latest piece!! I play the piano too, and it’s so much fun…but hard work to learn sometimes 🙂 ! I’m so glad you do learn and don’t give up! Also thank you for your wise words and especially these: “It is often not what you WANT but what you HAVE that matters.” Indeed, what good does it do to always long for what we can’t have!?
I am thrilled you took the time to answer my comment in such a long reply and, as I already said, will come back here often to read it again and again. It gives me such hope and confidence in what God can do! Even in my life.
Love to you, dear Brenda, and have a wonderful day!!
Your little sister in Christ,
Mary
~Karrilee~ says
Gah! I love you so much! …you know the drill…
Also this: We have GOT to see each other at some point this year… we live too close not to make it happen!
Love you and all your truth and heart and words!
Alia Joy says
Yes! Seriously, it’s ridiculous how close you are and how long it’s been!
Nancy Gladwin says
Oh, Alia…you’ve just described my marriage. It was the title that caught my eye and I had to read it. I’ve wondered for many years if I had made a mistake. Now I know, we are broken people trying to find the path God wants us to walk, together. Thank you for sharing your heart. This brought tears to my eyes, your words touched me.
Alia Joy says
Yes, so many times I wondered if I made a mistake, or he did, when we said I do and had no idea what that meant. I’m glad this spoke to you. I am so glad we kept going through it all, I am so glad we continue to choose each other. It doesn’t always get easier, but it can get deeper, richer, more true. He’s home to me.
Mokihana says
This is so beautifully written it makes me cry… thank you for sharing your heart with us.
Alia Joy says
Thanks, friend.
Anna says
How beautiful! A gem! Inspiring, true and so moving! Thank you! God bless you
Karen Knowles says
Thank you for your honesty in sharing with us about your experience in marriage. It really resonated with me. I’ve been married over fifty years, but it was very encouraging and inspiring. You definitely are blessed with an incredible ability to express yourself very eloquently. God bless you and all the other ladies who commented.
Alia Joy says
I love this. Thank you for sharing. Over 50 years is amazing.
Wendy Budge says
This is so beautiful, so honest. It made me cry and I thank you for sharing so deeply. It is such an encouragement and a precious reminder for me to continue to be hospitable in my marriage. Bless you and thank you. ❤️
Alia Joy says
I’m so glad it encouraged you in your marriage, Wendy! That is so encouraging to me.
Marty Walden says
Just beautiful. After 30 years and almost two decades parenting adopted children from trauma, my husband and I spent the last year piecing our marriage back together. The brokenness has been restored and we have what we never knew possible. Thank you for sharing so beautifully. The story continues to be written.
Alia Joy says
Yes, to be continued can be so hopeful. Just knowing we’re in process. I’m glad you’re doing the work to grow back together. Grace and peace to you both.
Beth Williams says
Alia,
WOW! What an amazingly beautiful story of married life. I read with tears. Loved this: Hospitality is the space to say ‘Come as you are, and I’ll find new ways to love you. You have given me a new resolve to find new ways to say I love you. We met almost 15 years ago via net. We were so in love & went places all the time. It was fun back then. Now I see the face of a middle aged man who is struggling with work stress, his dad dealing with Stage III bladder cancer & everyone needing him. We’ve had ups & downs in our life together. Our journey has included parents with severe dementia, death of two parents & job changes. Somewhere in all this we’ve lost that loving feeling. We were and still are a perfect match that needs some tweaking. I know it was God who put us together.
I am determined to keep us together forever come what may!
Blessings 🙂
Beth Williams says
Alia & Others,
This is such a sweet place to open up your heart. Would you all please pray for my hubby? He’s having a rough time now. They lost 3 full time employees in about 1 month. Others, including him, are having to fill in those shifts. Not easy. He works 8 on Fridays & 12-13 hrs Sat-Monday at a hospital doing CTs. He is also dealing with his aging dad (almost 90) having Stage III bladder cancer. He tries to help him out once a week. His dad’s surgery will be April 23. He feels worn out all the time.
Thanks prayer warriors! ((((((Hugs))))
Katherine says
Beth,
Saying prayers for abundant healing and blessings for your family. ❤
Little Mary says
Praying for your whole situation, Beth! What an exhausting time for you both!
Katherine says
Alia,
Your heart always pours onto the page so real, honest, wide open and beautiful. God has truly given you a gift and I thank you for sharing it with us. I am not yet married but this still reached deep within me and showed me a lovely picture of what true love looks like between two individuals who , even though they are quite different , they mesh in a way that creates a special connection that only the two of them are able to share. Thank you for giving some much needed wisdom to us. God Bless you ❤
Shannon says
I couldn’t help but be reminded of where I might be had I remembered this concept 8 years ago. Rather than take the shame that might go with those thoughts though, I instead allowed myself to feel really proud and honored to have been closely intertwined with people like you and Josh thru at least one season of your journey. To see how you’ve come through the hardest of days… when some of us gave up. It’s truly beautiful. It also inspires me as I move forward and choose to try my hand in marriage a second time. I’m a different person, with different experiences as I enter into a new marriage. I will take words like these with me, letting my heart and my mind marinate in all the truth and encouragement you’ve shared. You’ve been such a blessing in my life. Love you my friend.
Amy George says
Alia, this is so beautiful. So real. It makes me want to go to my husband’s job and give him a kiss. His co-workers say his face lights up when he sees me. After 22 years. So often, I miss it. Don’t appreciate it. Don’t appreciate him. Thank you for sharing. For reminding me.
Sandra says
Your post Alia is truly a blessing to me, and to so many others. I will pass this on to others I know. Thank you for opening up your heart. You are making a beautiful difference for others with your writing 🙂
Thank you <3
Nora says
Alia your transparency has resonated with so many hearts represented here! It’s what I have been
playing over in my mind as of recent. I look at my husband of 27 years and see the constant
he has been to me, even in the midst of pain over the years. This only reiterates to me how
I long to grow closer to my man and appreciate what God allowed 27 years ago to be united.
No, indeed it’s never been perfect, but the threads that hold us together are strong and have
endured many storms. We are both weathered, but a testimony to God’s Grace to two broken
people who have created three amazing humans, all because we didn’t give up.
Kayla says
That is beautiful ❤️
Renee Swope says
Your words make me love my man of 25 years even more than I knew I did. Your writing ministers to my soul friend. Such a beautiful post!
Kellylynn says
BEAUTIFUL <3
Stephanie Thompson says
So much of your post reminded me of my husband and I. We too are so far from where we started. We too have experienced a tidal wave of emotions from the disasters erupting beneath. Now here we are trying to figure out who we are together. “We’ve had to relearn what it is to make space for each other.” Exactly. Thank you for the honesty and affirmation that others are working through their new season too.
Laura Thomas says
“Hospitality is the space to say, ‘Come as you are, and I’ll find new ways to love you.’” Oh, I love this, Alia. celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary next month, which is pure craziness. And wildly wonderful. Thanks for sharing 🙂 Stopping by from Hope*Writers!
HisDaughter says
Beautifully written truth. Been married for 26 years and as long as the Lord is our foundation we can find that hospitality. Thank you for sharing.
Shelly says
love this! so beautifully written and it made me think of my own sweet guy.