I’m scrolling through social media and I find myself repeating one phrase, “Look what she did!”
I say this as I see women doing good things — leading, creating, connecting, accomplishing, achieving dreams. It doesn’t take long until another phrase follows, “I should be doing that too!”
I slip into comparison like a too-tight pair of jeans that squeezes in all the wrong places. I feel the pinch of inadequacy, the tug of guilt, the familiar sensation that I am not enough. I don’t feel good in this state of mind. It doesn’t fit me. It doesn’t bring out the best in who God created me to be. But I keep comparison in my mental closet, reluctant to let it go for reasons I can’t explain. Have you ever done the same?
This time, I pause and pray, “God, help me have a different perspective.” In the silence, it seems a gentle, compassionate question comes to my anxious heart. Why are you looking at those posts and saying, “Look at what she did!” instead of “Look at what God is doing!”
Wow, I had never thought of it that way before.
I think of my own story, and how I am where I am today because God brought me here. HE opened doors I never could. HE gave me gifts I could use to serve others. HE called me and equipped me every step of the way. I’ve been asked many times, “How did you get to where you are right now?” I always respond, “I didn’t do this — God brought me here.” Why has it never occurred to me to think of the stories of other women in the same way?
We live in a culture that tells us more is better. The size of something is a measure of its success. Influence equals significance. But when I look at the Kingdom of God, I don’t see the same thing. Instead, I see a God who values love and faithfulness, and who invites us each into an intimate adventure with Him for a lifetime.
I recently reread the parable of the master who goes on a journey and entrusts resources to his servants while he is away. Most of us are familiar with what the master says to the servant given five talents who earns five more. “Well done, good and faithful servant! You were faithful over a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Share your master’s joy.” (Matthew 25:21 CSB). But these words actually appear twice in the same chapter. When the servant with two talents earns two more, the master says that exact same thing to him.
The master doesn’t say, “Good job, but you didn’t do quite as well as this other servant.”
He doesn’t complain, “If you had just tried a little harder, maybe you could have done more.”
He doesn’t declare, “You should have accomplished as much as someone else.”
No, the master says again, “Well done, good and faithful servant! You were faithful over a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Share your master’s joy.” (Matthew 25:23 CSB).
Why? Because we serve a God who cares more about the quality of our faithfulness with what He’s given us than the quantity of our accomplishments. He isn’t asking us to do as much as we possibly can; He is asking us to say “yes” to what He asks us to do with what He’s entrusted to us. He isn’t looking for more people to have big platforms; He is searching for humble hearts willing to do little things with great love. God is not comparing us to anyone else, He is always and only inviting us to become more like Jesus.
It is a myth, lie, and joy stealer to say, “If I could just do better in some way, then I could be where she is today.”
The truth is, that God has a plan, purpose, and story for each of us that is entirely different. We can trust, even when it’s mysterious, that we don’t need to do better because we already have His best for us.
We no longer have to say, “Look what she did!”
Instead, we can say, “Look what God is doing — in her life and mine!”