When we were living in Ukraine, someone once told me, “You know how we can tell if someone’s American? They’re the ones smiling for no reason.”
Wrap your head around that one.
I heard it five years ago and it’s still a brain teaser for me. In person and over a cup of tea, I could spend hours dissecting the cultural differences it alludes to. But, of late, it’s been the Christian culture I’ve been thinking about more than any other. And how that statement might apply to us all.
“You know how we can tell if someone’s a Christian? They’re the ones smiling and smiling and smiling. Sometimes for no good reason.”
For two years after our time in Ukraine we were anything but fine. After a decade away we had moved back to South Africa with high hopes for relocating back to my motherland. Those plans were eroded; slowly, painfully, and unexpectedly. Not a single step of our homecoming unfolded as we had so blithely assumed it would.
But, by all appearances we were fine. And if anyone asked, that’s what we told them.
I smiled at church. I smiled at playgroup. I smiled at bible study. And I smiled at kids’ birthday parties. I smiled for no good reason I could think of. Other than that I was sure no one expected me to respond to their generic, “So, how’re you doing?” with a bust gut of agony and bloody tears right there in the meet and greet between the worship and the sermon.
How awkward would that be?
“Snot en trane” – the spot-on Afrikaans expression “snot and tears” – is not generally the appropriate response to a pre-service handshake.
So instead I plastered a stubborn smile, band aid-like, over my bleeding innards and got really good at making small talk and deflecting anything that might try to peel back a corner of the tape.
But 18 months later things were worse. And for the first time I was faced with a “no” answer from God that I couldn’t seem to change or understand.
No, your husband won’t get the job he needs.
No, you won’t be able to stay in South Africa.
No, you don’t get to choose where you go next.
I realized I had been expecting the easy “yes” of what I now recognize as Christianity-lite. I thought if I could grin and bear it long enough, things would finally go my way. I know you’ve heard it too. The fluffy take on some pretty serious verses that try to tell you, “All you need is faith” and you’ll get what you want. “Just believe and the Lord will provide.” “Ask and you shall receive.”
So, this profound and resounding “no” was off my grid by a mile.
Things were not fine. Things were not good. Things hurt inside and out. We had to pack up our house and our new baby boy and move away from the family and country we were just rediscovering. The loss was physically painful.
I wrestled a long time with this new God of my “no.” But slowly I discovered that His answer didn’t dismiss my loss. Not if I saw it in the context of His ability to understand and respond to that loss.
Do you know the Bible story of the infertile woman whom God blessed with a child? The prophet Elisha had prayed for her. But before the boy was grown up, he died. And his desperate mother went looking for an answer. Listen to what she says when the prophet asks her that hardest of questions, “How’re you doing?”
“'Is it well with you? Is it well with your husband? Is it well with the child?'" And she answered, "It is well." 2 Kings 4:26.
She was far from fine. But she took that agony to the only person who could understand it. And at the feet of the God she could share her agony and outrage with, she was well. She was able to be real. Her answer didn’t dismiss her loss. It simply put it in the context of God’s ability to respond.
That is where He met me. At the cross-roads of his decision and my acceptance of it; he led me out of my heartache and into a season of redemption and beauty. All without changing his answer.
Instead he changed me.
(You can keep reading my story of change and the year God told us a whole lot of "no" over here).
Lisa-Jo is South African by birth and American by marriage. She blogs at www.thegypsymama.com about life lived in between countries, callings, and kids.
Finding out what happens when you look for opportunities to give. To start from Day 1, click here.
I loved reading all of your wonderful comments and ideas on where to donate this year and how your family is making a difference this Christmas! Thank you for taking time to share.
Based on your suggestions and my own research, here is a list (not exhaustive by any means!) of ideas of where you can donate from your abundance. Please don't be upset if I didn't select a wonderful cause or organization that you suggested or are passionate about. As we all know there are thousands of worthy ministries to give to and not enough space in this post.
My own criteria has been two fold:
Does my heart match God's priorities?
"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after oprhans and widows in their distress." James 1:27
"There were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought money from the sale," Acts 4:34
"Rise in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God." Leviticus 19:32
Am I reaching out to my local community, my nation, and the world? I want to create a healthy balance.
So, after much deliberation, here is my attempt at the Top 10 of my favorites ministries to give to this year:
International Princess Project - Advocates for women enslaved in prostitution, mainly in India, helping them restore their lives and empower them to be free. Through your donation you'll receive a fun pair of punjammies!
Blood Water Mission - Empowering communities in Africa to work together against the HIV & Water crisis. You'll recognize some of their spokespeople.
Heavenly Treasures - From Bolivia to Guatamala to Kyrgyzstan they equip and assist people in developing countries to break the cycle of poverty through their handiwork and creativity. You can creatively donate and shop at the same time. These projects are very small enterprises, ranging from one refugee family to a group of village women, all in need of a consistent income.
Jesus Film Project - If you're a visual person like me, watching a story has such a greater impact on me than reading it or hearing about it. This division of Campus Crusade for Christ, travels to the remote parts of the globe to every tongue and tribe. You could reach up to 240 people with the message of salvation for $60 in their own language.
American Bible Society - You can put God's word in the hands of new believers in China for $75 or to persecuted international believers for $80 or deliver Bible storybooks to the children that live below the poverty line in the U.S. for only $23.
Compassion International - They are releasing children from spiritual, physical, social and economic poverty all over the world in the name of Jesus. You can sponsor a child like I do for only $38 per month. You can have a one on one relationship with your child, praying and supporting them by name.
Reece's Rainbow - We all know someone that is in the process of adopting internationally. But these soon-to-be parents have decided to adopt an international special needs child. You can help them make that a reality. The founder's story is amazing!
Salvation Army Angel Tree - I know this is a tradition for most people, but if you've waited until the last minute, no worries. They've created three easy ways to donate and never leave your laptop. After recently meeting a local mom that was almost beaten to death by her husband while she was pregnant (he is now in prison for this crime) and is trying to survive and provide a Christmas for her soon-to-be 8 year old and 8 month old, the local Prison Angel Tree has new meaning to me.
Remember your church's mission team, local ministries, and students that don't have enough money to attend a Christian summer camp that your kids go to every year.
Please email Stephanie your physical address so she can drop your tassels in the mail to you in time for Dec. 25th. If you'd like to be entered to win, leave a comment on future Generosity Experiment posts and we'll announce another round of winners soon.
After my husband went to Africa, he couldn't see anything, not even Christmas, without remembering the need and how much he loved the people there. Seeing the need and experiencing the love for our friends there made it easy for us to forgo giving each other Christmas gifts so we could send the money where it was needed. Instead we decided to create Christmas for each other.
Seth asked the blog world to help with my gift, and last year on Christmas morning I opened the Mother Letter Project, over 600 letters of encouragement to a struggling Mama. It changed our lives to see such outpouring.
This year with the help of Echolite Media, Cobblestone Project, Kujilana Project, and an outstanding list of bloggers, including several of our own (in)courage bloggers, we're humbled to watch ChristmasChange.com become a community hub for sharing ideas and making personal goals to celebrate the Christmas season with incarnational living.
This is your invitation to sign up and then join the conversation at the Christmas Change blog and share your witness of Christmas Change on the story page. After all, this is your story. This is Christ's story in you.
Amber Haines - a Southerner, a struggler, and a straggler with half an MFA in Poetry - lives in Arkansas with her husband and the three boys they birthed within...
As my daughters and I entered our local Goodwill last week, the oldest took a big whiff and sighed, "I love the smell of Goodwill.”
Practically snorting my last gulp of coffee through my nose, I just began to chuckle. I contemplated how she could possibly enjoy that distinct thrift smell, and realized that she embraces thrift stores just like her mommy, as a complete shopping experience.
When most can’t get past the musty smell, I embrace the smell of potential.
When most walk in, look around, and feel overwhelmed, I see it as a challenge in creativity.
When most look at an outdated, tacky brass lamp, I envision it spray painted with a coat of my favorite heirloom white color.
The melting pot mentality of America is embodied in a thrift store. One can look around the parking lot and observe vehicles ranging from BMW's to Beretta's, shelves stocked with both jewels and junk, while purchasers carrying either Amex Gold cards or Food Stamps stock up their carts. People have shared their life story with me standing between the old frames and sweat pants.
I understand that thrift store shopping is not for everyone. Yet for me, it’s part of who I am to embrace both the beauty and the bedlam that comes with second hand purchases. It's a unique way that the Lord shows me over and over again just how much He loves me.
I truly believe that if Jesus was walking these streets today, He would definitely hang out at his local Goodwill. If He can heal the blind, and make the lame walk, surely He can surprise me by turning someone else's trash into my treasure, and He does it - time and time again.
Surprising my family by giving me the desires of my heart is just one miracle He has done for me in a thrift store. And better yet, He did it for pennies on the dollar. He is the Master at making "all things new" now, isn't He?
As we anticipate the holiday seasons where sleigh bells ring, carolers sing and our pocket books go cha-ching, let's think outside the box, avoid consumer debt and see how our local thrift store might play a role in this seasons' festivities.
Here are just a few creative example of how someone else's trash has become my "treasure". Maybe it will entice you to take a step through the doors and ponder, "How can Jen's daughter love this smell?"
With a touch of spray paint and then some chalkboard paint, it now welcomes family and friends with encouraging notes and announcements of the upcoming meal. (I was going to retake this picture now that the outlet is covered, but decided against it.) Real life, real homes = authenticity. :)
Finding a $0.50 glass and brass tea tray is not uncommon at any local yard sale. Match it with a $0.25 Hutschenreuther Gelb china sugar set (made in Bavaria, Germany), some more spray paint,
my twenty five cent thrift store tea cup, and ambiance has been created at the dinner table for under $1.
Have any of you owned these glass fruit plates over the years? I see them at most thrift stores and yard sales for the outrageous price of fifty cents. But do we ever use them?
Ever since I took a bit of spray paint and a demanding forty five seconds of my time to create this gorgeous affect, I now hunt for these plates. I turned the plate over and spray painted the side from which you would not eat so that the details stand out boldly. I repurposed four plates in four minutes.
Can you believe I purchased hundreds of these new plates at a yard sale? I've never been so giddy about buying paper plates in my life. How perfect for my Thanksgiving and Christmas events.
For years, I have desired Christmas plates. The Lord surprised me with a special gift last year when I found these at a thrift store at 50% off the thrift store price. I never cease to marvel how He shares delight with us (even on some of our superficial desires).
I have found that gratitude comes through many forms; it hides among the mundane. But chosen wisely, the mundane becomes magical.
Through this season of expressing an attitude of gratitude, I'm continually thankful for yard sales and our local thrift stores. I extend an invitation. Join me...trust me, once you've caught the bug, you'll never turn back.
Jennifer Schmidt is a full time family manager that writes about her never ending pursuit of "Balancing it all...the good, bad and ugly" at her personal blog...
As I stood on the cliff’s edge I heard dangerous waves crashing on the rocks below.
Cliff diving was insane.
It wasn’t an extreme sport; it was a hospital bill. It was also my turn.
After I stopped wondering how many creatures waited beneath the surface to eat me, I dove into the salty depths of the Adriatic Sea.
I was eighteen, clueless, terrified and halfway around the world. It was my first mission trip and cliff diving was a symbolic end to the whole experience.
Rather than spend the summer after my graduation sitting on a beach in the Caribbean I chose to follow a call to serve orphans in a country recovering from civil war.
My sheltered, middle class, suburban life hadn’t prepared me for the call.
After all, the closest I had come to an orphan was a Broadway production of Annie.
I had no training, no evangelism skills and war torn devastation was as foreign to me as the language.
It turned out that God didn’t care about any of that. That summer I learned firsthand what God can do with people who leap into obedience.
I rocked abandoned babies, hugged dirty toddlers, taught VBS and went to church camp with teenagers. Some of them heard the good news for the first time, some were comforted by the hands and feet of Christ and some trusted their lives to Him. By the end of the trip all of them had felt the love of God.
It was one of the scariest jumps I ever made, but it was THE jump that changed the whole trajectory of my life. I was forever changed because of it and the impact still affects me today.
Sometimes faith still invites me to alien edges and beckons me to jump.
It may not be off a cliff into a sea, but it might be parenting my toddler with faith rather than popular opinion, forgiving someone I don’t want to forgive or trusting God with my family’s limited financial resources.
Even though these jumps have been into the unknown, unplanned and unfamiliar I have always been caught by the sturdy hands of the all knowing, all encompassing Almighty.
Sometimes faith comes by jumping…but Christ will never let you fall.
Ginny considers singing in the shower and eating TexMex equally noble pursuits and would like to give every woman the freedom to be a mess and permission to take...
The kitchen clock states only one hour of free time, so I'm putting aside the old cookbooks, filled with traditional meal planning ideas, and discovering what one hour of well executed plays will accomplish in the kitchen.
What can I truly achieve in just one hour? Will my sixty minute challenge result in a victory? I set the kitchen timer and decided to find out. I attacked this mission with fervor, and planned on conquering my mealtime madness.
Here's how I began my plan of attack. Earlier in the day, I de-thawed the meats, and started a crock pot full of black beans.
When the 'one hour experiment' timer began, I fired up my two best friends for the evening – Ms. Rice Cooker and Mr. Grill.
Grilling ten pounds of chicken, pork and hamburger meat takes only minutes more than cooking just two pounds, so why not multitask and barbecue them all at once....I did.
As my thirteen year old son maneuvered the outside grill ("train them young", I always encourage), plentiful pounds of ground beef fried on the stove while the rice cooker rattled. I prepared two separate helpings of brown rice and basmati rice.
One hour later, eighteen chicken breasts and pork were chopped, sliced and diced.
The rice, beans and (seasoned) hamburger meat were completed and divided into baggies.
The majority of the mouth-watering ribs and hamburger patties flew straight from the grill only to be devoured by my family in one gargantuan gulp. No freezing of those leftovers.
Since our meal plans tends to minimize meat and stretch vegetarian options, this was a true carnivore’s delight. My family was in hog heaven.
The final buzzer went off, declaring a win in the game book, but how does that help you?
Let's survey how you can implement this experiment yourself. Everything that was divided into Ziploc bags now offers a minimum of 15 possible meal choices that can be cooked up in minutes.
Having an “emergency corner” of foods or "go to" items that I always have on hand allows me to draw from this stockpile on any given day. These staples that I stock up on when the grocer has them on sale at a buy one get one free price (or when I have a large couponing week), decreases my monthly budget by hundreds of dollars.
Some of my "go to" items that I always stock.
cans of diced tomatoes
cans of cream of mushroom or chicken soup
flour tortillas
shredded cheese
frozen vegetables
salsa
noodles
spaghetti sauce
sour cream
a few "Pillsbury" type items that I have gotten virtually free - biscuits, pie crusts, pizza dough (homemade or store bought with coupon)
With the above items and the food I just prepared, I can make:
Chicken stir fry – chicken, frozen veggies, rice
Enchiladas or burritos with rice, beans, taco seasoned beef, cheese, salsa, and sour cream
Simple chicken casserole with diced chicken, cream of mushroom/chx soup, rice, seasoning, and cheese sprinkled on top.
Simple Chicken pot pie with chicken, cream of mush/chx soup, bag of frozen veggies, cheese, and an all purpose seasoning.
Chili – hamburger, beans, water, can of diced tomatoes, seasoning, and water.
Taco salad - romaine lettuce drizzled with either French or ranch dressings, dolloped with black beans, taco flavored hamburger meat, salsa, sour cream, and crushed tortilla chips
Taco dip
Taco pizza
Grilled Chicken salad
Shredded pork with BBQ sauce for a great sandwich
Stuffed biscuits with either salsa or spaghetti sauce, hamburger, and cheese
Spaghetti
Whew, can you believe it, and I was just getting warmed up. Don’t worry if your freezer space is limited. Look at the small amount of freezer space that's required.
Can you believe all that I got accomplished with just one hour and 15 minutes of intentional time set aside to conquer this mealtime mountain?
If I can do this…you can too.
I am passionate about families spending more time connecting at the dinner table, and less time being frazzled with the process.
With simple meal planning, families not only save time, and HUGE amounts of money, but the lost art of shared dinner conversations makes this priceless.
Let’s continue to make our home a haven by taking time this week to move from best intentions to answering the “what’s for dinner question” in our own home.
Are you up for the challenge? Is there anything still standing in your way?
I can’t wait for you to join me as we balance both the beauty and the bedlam of mealtime mountain. Let's (in)courage each other along the road of the mundane and find ways to make it marvelous.
Jennifer Schmidt is a full time family manager that writes about her never ending pursuit of "Balancing it all...the good, bad and ugly" at her personal blog...
This has been a hard year for a lot of people, including my husband Matthew and me. The economic crisis hit just as Matthew was supposed to embark on a big speaking tour. The tour was canceled and pushed back to spring. Then it was canceled again. We also had just had a baby who required day care, formula, diapers, shots and all the other baby necessities.
Many mornings I left for work in tears, not knowing how we would pay the bills. And as I drove, I prayed.
I prayed for provision. I prayed for peace. I prayed for courage.
Then I would dry my eyes and walk into work with a smile on my face.
Someone once told me that if you smile despite your circumstances, you will eventually have a brighter outlook. I believe that with all my heart.
During that time of smiling, I mustered up courage I didn't know I had.
I found courage while watching my son grow and laugh at the simplest pleasures. I found courage in my husband's embrace. I found courage in seeing our grocery bill shrink as I learned how to use coupons and save more. I found courage when we received unexpected gifts. I found courage when I counted my blessings instead of dwelling on what we couldn't afford.
Would I have found this courage if our circumstances had been different? Maybe. But I bet it would have been different. Think about Daniel in the lion's den. Think about David and Goliath. God often uses extreme situations for us to discover strength we otherwise would not have found. Thank you God for always knowing what your children need.
Things are beginning to look up for Matthew and me financially. And as I reflect on the past year, I am so grateful. Yes, it has been incredibly hard. But it has been beautiful, too. I appreciate so much more and know that when hard times hit again (they always do) I will have the courage to handle it.
Have you experienced a time in your life that, when you look back, you see God more clearly than you could during the hard times? What have those reflections taught you?
Jessica Turner blogs on "The Mom Creative" about her first-time motherhood adventures, scrapbooking, faith and fun products. She spends her days as a marketing...
Six months ago, I wrote a blog post called, “Join me on our God Watch.”
It invited blogging friends to join our family as we entered another “God Watch” period in our lives – my husband’s pending unemployment. Years ago, I coined that phrase for our children as a game, of sorts. It was an intentional way of watching and waiting to see how the Lord would unexpectedly amaze us during a particularly difficult circumstance.
Now, it’s a family mantra. Our God Watch is a reminder to gaze at His goodness. To rest in His reassurances. But more importantly, it’s a whisper of willingness to choose joy in the midst of doubt.
I chuckle as I re-read that post. Uncommitted, I typed it in less than ten minutes. Heartfelt was the God Watch invitation, but at the end of the post, I retorted, “remind me of this in six months if we’re still unemployed, deal?” I never assumed I would need to revisit that tongue and cheek comment.
Yet here I am, 6 months into our God Watch.
Satan would love nothing more than to take me down the winding road of regret and woo me into a long whining discussion. You know the one–the back and forth conversation that takes place in your mind. Ideas primed as dagger-like darts. Feelings that mull around in misery, yet no audible words ever leave the mouth. Oh yes, those have been some of my more lively discussions.
But today, I have a choice.His faithfulness reminds me that I have no other choice than to punctuate my life with praise.
Praise for His security during times of uncertainty.
Praise for the little things, since they are reminders of the big things.
Like the way the stars twinkle so much brighter snuggling on a blanket with my husband and children.
Or the way my teen age son guzzles the soda straight from the 2 liter as I type. No sky rocketing mommy annoyance now. I am just so thankful he’s journeying with us, choosing to be “an untypical teen” during this learning transition.
How about when my favorite grocery store tripled their coupons the very week I needed to stockpile my favorite items or the “trash to treasure” finds that I uncovered at last weekend’s yard sale?
Ah yes…finding joy in things I had entirely missed before deepens my faith walk. It’s a reminder of how this extended “God Watch” season can grow us deeper, make us more intentional and reveal to us the little blessings that are so often overlooked.
So here’s to month seven. I invite you to join our family on this “God Watch” as we watch fervently, wait expectantly and wonder with anticipation; for all that the Lord has in store during this adventure.
Do you care to join me with on your own God Watch journey? I’d love to have you.
Jennifer Schmidt is a full time family manager that writes about her never ending pursuit of "Balancing it all...the good, bad and ugly" at her personal blog...
