We’ve all been there.
We’re driving down the highway, kids are settled, the music is tuned to just the right volume. We’re in our zone going to our next destination when out of nowhere someone zips in front of you, you slam on the brakes and everything you had in the front seat goes flying!
I don’t know about you, but road rage is real. I’ve wanted to keep a stash of eggs in the car just to throw them at the windshield of bad drivers! Or hold up a sign from the sun-roof that reads: LEAVE EARLIER!
Attitude. Yes, and most of us can relate.
When I was getting my driver’s license at 16, I really enjoyed driving. And at the tender age of 16, there were many roles in life that I had yet to discover. I have the enjoyed many of the various roles I’ve had throughout my lifetime, but the role I believe I’ve shown the least gratitude for at times has been my role as a wife.
For the most part, we usually identify “wifehood” as: a suitable helper to our husbands. We make sure his clothes are clean, dinner is prepared, or we cheer on our husbands as they play flag football.
I admit, I never really thought about submission until I started to hear the word during our engagement. Once we were married, not only did I hear the word, I began to really dislike it.
I felt like being “submissive” meant: always being agreeable, letting my husband make all of the decisions, having no say. Though my husband never said, “Submit To Me Woman!” – the word implied these actions to me.
“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.” Ephesians 5:22
Wait. You gotta be kidding me. Submit……..as to the who? The Lord?…..God?! Really?! This has got to be wrong. Who wrote this bible? My husband is not perfect. And I’m commanded to do this? Why me? Why not him?
My feelings about submission began to remind me of those cars zipping in my lane on the highway. Road rage. I felt like hoarding that carton of eggs right under my bedroom pillow to throw at my husband’s head just because he had a better role than me! Again, I’m sure most of us can relate.
So, I tried to skim over the ‘submit’ scriptures, ignore them, and even interpret them differently than what they say.
“Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.” 1 John 2:6
Stop the presses. I love God, and I want to follow Him, so I had to understand why God called me to be submissive to another human being as to Him. After much prayer, this familiar scripture I read one day made it all click:
“Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death— even death on a cross!” Philippians 2: 5-8
“When a man believes in me, he does not believe in me only, but in the one who sent me. When he looks at me, he sees the one who sent me. I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness. John 12:44-46
In viewing these passages, my heart was cut. I had to make the turn from an attitude of resentment to an attitude of gratitude. Why wouldn’t I be grateful that the Lord has called me, a wife, to live out the unique role that he so beautifully lived out under the Father nearly 2,000 years ago?
This awe-inspiring role demonstrates how God desires everyone live before Him. Of all the people on earth, we, as wives, have been entrusted to model this for the whole world to see!
I stood in astonishment. Here I was thinking I got the short end of the stick, and He saved His best, His own role before the Father, for me.
Jesus gave up his place and position in heaven, came to earth, and lived the role we as wives are commanded to live with our husbands. Wow.
He goes on to share that in looking at Him, and how his heart yielded his own way, we can see the One who sent him – God. Knowing this, we all have to go From Attitude to Gratitude! And what better way than in the beautiful role we currently have: as a wife.
Because of Him,Leave a Comment
Beautifully said and so true. We all need to read this and the see the truth in all of these verses.I pray everyone reads this and is truly blessed like I have been:) Thank you.
A role I look forward to one day. 🙂
Ruth, excited wife says
Thank God for you & your post. Today I welcome my husband home after a 2 week business trip. My husband travels more than he’s home & so I’m “in charge” most of the time. It’s hard to relinquish that position when he comes home. As much as I ache for him to be with us, we usually end up in a major fight within 24 hrs of his return because I resent that he doesn’t “integrate” as I think he should. Like you, I’ve tried to sweep the submission scripture under the rug, but today I’m polishing it & putting in on the shelf for the love of my Father & my beloved, but mostly for me, because I now have a new understanding of my position as wife. Again, bless you for your words.
What do you mean by submission to our husbands? I never understand this!
Hi Gem, Great question. Feel free to email me at email@example.com. Oh boy, as I shared I could never get this, like you’ve mentioned above. Submission to our husbands is such a broad topic for us as wives, but I love that the we get the opportunity to dig our heels in with one another who are in this same season of ‘wifehood’ to explore, explain, and understand biblically what it truly means. I look forward to hearing from you ~
Gods Spirit has us saints intertwined together. When I wrote the note to you on Facebook, and I quote myself, “You are a blessing to your husband, and to his whole family.” I had not read your article. I thank God for you and for all the good in my life.
Thanks for sharing your journey to becoming more Christ-like! I too struggled with the verse with the submission charge, but something that helped me was another verse instructing husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church (and He DIED FOR us) so that’s not exactly an easy role either. And as I tell my kids, we are only responsible for our own actions before God, not anyone else’s!
Pamela – I am so glad that your decided to share your wisdom (and struggles with the world). Another fantasic and real piece that I enjoy. I can’t believe that you ever struggle with submission (except that I have had the honor of seeing you struggle and overcome) , you have been an incredible example to me in my marriage and always challenge me From The Word!
Love and miss you tons
Thank you so much~ What a great post!!
Pamela, great words of wisdom!
I am another one who struggled with submission only because of wrong teaching. When taught correctly, submission is freedom in a marriage! When we finally get it and learn to make submission a part of who we are, our husband follows our example (of Christ) and the couple begins to submit to one another.
It’s amazing to see each one of your articles. Just when I think you’ve written your best one, you surprise me with something even more incredible! Keep inspiring the world. God has great plans for you – I know it!
Shaunie Friday says
Excellent post Pamela! So wise. I loved how you shared the complete turnaround in your thinking from short end of the stick, to highly honored. I’ve never heard Phil 2:5-8 connected with the idea of a wife’s submission before, but it applies so beautifully. Thank you for a wonderful insight!
I’ve been keeping eggs under my pillow for years. Possibly even hoarding them for the day I get the guts to throw them all, releasing anger and resentment for years of pain caused by my husbands drinking. Even part of me after understanding the truth in your writing struggles with obeying God’s word. If I question, barter, ask if He is sure and not just “do” I will miss many blessings. Something special was entrusted to me from my Lord and Savior-that must be enough. My heart desperately needed this today. I thank God for your words shared today. God Bless!
AK Dixon says
Great post! Thank God for His words and His infinite wisdom! May He continue to bless and prosper you in doing His good will! love u girl! AK
To Think Is To Create says
I read this a couple days ago, and then came back to partake some more…such incredible words.
Growing up in bible churches, I can tell you that I have NEVER been taught submission from this perspective, and I am brought to lovely moving tears as I read this now. I can’t hardly bear what an amazing gifts we as wives have been given, it’s quietly so beautiful. Thank you for this!