About the Author

Charity Singleton was born and raised in Indiana where she continues to work, write, and worship. Visit her at Wide Open Spaces.

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  1. Thank you for flagging something God has been nudging my spirit with lately.. my judgementalness! its crept up on me without really seeing and now im worse than i have been in a long time.. no idea how that happened.. but i am now lookin clearly at the ugly face of it, of me and gonna not put it off any longer but deal with it! thank you once again, for allowing God to work through you to touch others..
    you are beautiful and interesting 🙂
    may God bless you richly x

    • Grace {Hope} –
      Thank you for reminding us how easy it is for this judgmentalness to be in us without us even being aware. For me, it really is pride and selfishness. And you’re right, it’s ugly to look at in ourselves.

      Blessings,
      Charity

  2. I like this very much!
    “I am not a stereotype” – the cry of so many.

    To be able to really see a person,
    to be open to seeing,
    to hearing,
    to knowing,

    to resist the urge
    to assume,
    to sum up,
    to tie someone up with a neat ribbon
    and set aside,
    then calling it “relating”
    and puzzling over feelings of isolation.

    May God
    set us free
    from the labeling and stereotyping
    that causes us to miss
    the gift of each other
    that He puts in front of us.

  3. Oh Marilyn —

    I like this so much. I especially like the part about calling this “relating” and then being surprised when we feel lonely. Categorizing people and assuming we know them builds walls around us all.

    Thank you for your lovely response.

    Charity

  4. And the next question I must ask myself is why would I ever assume anything about a stranger? Could it be because Pride is again rearing its ugly head in my soul? I must constantly allow His Spirit to purify my spirit so that I see each one the way He does: as the object of His Affections and the reason for His Sacrifice.

  5. Thanks, Charity!

    I needed to read that today. I think you have hit the nail on the head when you say that life is much simpler when we lump folks together…it gives us some illusion of control and understanding about a world that is so much bigger than us. I think that is a major coping mechanism for we humans. Otherwise, we are forced to look at really deep questions that are hard and scary. Except God is at the end of those questions, and while that doesn’t take away the uncertainty, it does bring hope and respite.

    By the way, I hopped over to your page. We missed each other by a very narrow margin at Taylor. I graduated in 98.

    -Danielle

    • Danielle – So glad we have a Taylor U. connection! I have such fond memories of my days there as a student. And you are right, the deep questions about others and about ourselves that are hard and scary are much easier when we work through them with God.

  6. Wow. Beautiful.

    This has been one of the biggest lessons for me this year: Don’t assume you know people or what their lives are like based simply upon what I can see.

    This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing your heart.

    • Holley — You’re welcome! Seeing clearly and loving deeply at the same time seem impossible apart from Jesus. I am so thankful that He sees me and loves me this way. Through him, I can give this gift to others.

  7. Such a telling post, Charity. I’m so guilty of making assumptions, and it definitely leaves one feeling isolated. Thank you for your candor and your wisdom in sharing this matter with us.
    Blessings,
    Janis

    • Janis — You know, it really is ironic that I often put people in boxes because I am the one feeling left out, but in doing so, I am isolating myself, as you suggest. Oh, the walls we erect between ourselves. Thanks for your kind words today!

  8. Yes! Thank you! I’m always reminding myself, “the heart, the heart, the heart…” whether it’s my kids, a mom friend at church, or a total stranger. Hair style, family size, food choices, clothing… NONE of that matters!

  9. Charity!

    I’m so glad to see you featured here at (in)courage. You have such wisdom … and “see” things that others (namely, me!) miss. I so appreciate you and what you share both here … and at your blog.

    Yes, we do this. We put people in boxes, attach the labels, prejudge, misjudge, assume, assume, assume.

    Thank you for your wise, wise words, dear Charity.

    • I love that, Ruth. The heart, the heart, the heart! I am going to claim this little mantra for myself. I think it will go a long way when I am focusing to much on impressions and appearances.

      • Oops, my fingers slipped and hit reply too many times! What I wanted to say here, Jennifer, is that you are such a dear friend, and your words are so encouraging. Any wisdom that comes from this weary soul is born out of mistakes and errors. I could probably have been in the Guinness Book of World Records for the person who has misjudged others the most! Blessings to you, friend.