…And so I picked up The Scale from the bathroom floor and I put it into my closet on a shelf, where it shall remain for an undetermined amount of time.
The End.
Oh, sorry. I probably should explain a little. Let me start at the beginning:
My relationship with The Scale began as a child. I remember it like it was yesterday…
I have always owned a Scale. I have always used a Scale. I have always been indifferent toward The Scale. It was simply an instrument used to measure weight. Neither good nor bad. Completely neutral. The Switzerland of household appliances.
I could speculate a lot about that decision—placing The Scale in the kitchen. But, since I have no desire whatsoever to dishonor the memory of my awesome mother, I will simply assert that Mom must have been insanely confident.
The Scale tracked my growth through puberty, into high school and throughout college, where I somehow navigated the intense pressure to be ultra-thin, and simply enjoyed being healthy. With regular activity and a well-balanced diet, I managed to reach a very healthy weight and stay there for last 25 years.
The Scale was a baby-growth-tracker during my two pregnancies. I watched with anticipation as my weight went up, knowing this meant a new life was growing inside me. And I watched The Scale go back down after months of busting my behind, power walking with baby-in-tow.
The Scale had no power over me. I had no emotions—positive or negative—toward The Scale.
Then I watched The Scale go up eighteen pounds in less than 9 months.
I watched The Scale get stuck on a number and refuse to move downward, despite personal trainers and portion control, busting my behind, power walking, intense workouts and calorie-counting.
Before my very eyes, The Scale morphed from a neutral instrument to measure my WEIGHT, to an instrument to measure my MOOD. Every morning, The Scale said, “You weigh too much.” The Scale said, “you aren’t doing enough.” The Scale said, “FAILURE.”
The Scale introduced phrases into my vocabulary like,
“I look fat in this.”
“I don’t feel pretty today.”
“I look pregnant.”
All this repeatedly spewing out of my mouth in the presence of my three precious children.
I promised myself I would always teach my children to be healthy, not skinny. I promised myself that I would not only teach, but also demonstrate to my children that God created each of us individually, uniquely and perfectly—and our job is to be good stewards of our health, so we can do and be all He created us to do and be.
Up until a few months ago, I was doing well. But then, The Scale got stuck. The Scale determined I was “unworthy,” and I chose to believe The Scale.
And then, the day I prayed would never come–what I had worked for years to avoid: I heard my beautiful, individual, unique and PERFECTLY created 11-year-old daughter say,
“I look fat in this.”
I decided right then and there, The Scale would NOT be the final word on my mood. The Scale would NOT be the final word on my self-worth. And most of all, The Scale would NOT determine the value of my daughter. Only God is allowed to do that.
And so I picked up The Scale from the bathroom floor and I put it into my closet on a shelf, where it shall remain for an undetermined amount of time.
The End.
By, Sandy Cooper at God Speaks Today and The Amazing Adventures of Fitness Friday Girl
Sandy, I hear you on this. I have been going through this same struggle. Stress at work, trying to find a new job, and just worrying about the future have led me to gain 20 pounds in a year and a half, something that has never happened to me. I want to lose the weight (and have tried a few things) but nothing seems to work. I’m tired of letting that scale have power over me, tired of feeling inadequate because of it. I really needed to read this today. Thank you for the encouragement, and the reminder that we are created in His image.
Good for you! What an encouraging testimony. You are who God says you are. His princess in the King’s court. Yay!
First of all, hooray for you being at (in)Courage today!! Second, I have let those kinds of things come out of my mouth lately and have found them repeated back to me by my 12 year old daughter. Uh oh. This is a great reminder that we do have to be so careful about every word that comes from our mouths–the kids are watching and listening!
Great job, Sandy!!
Meg: Thank you. It’s so disheartening when our bodies react to external factors and we feel out of control. That’s when we have to dig a little deeper and cling to God to affirm us. Hang in there, friend!
Jeri: Thanks. I’m so glad you found it encouraging.
Shelly: THANKS!!! I’m following in your footsteps, guest posting on (in)Courage. 🙂 And yes, the kids are watching and listening. I hate that. I wish they only heard the good stuff.
I find myself hanging out on the opposite end of the spectrum lately. I have gained (and I know why), and seem to be keeping on gaining. I’ve put away the scale so it can’t scream out it’s nasty insults, but clothes don’t lie. I, too, want to teach my children to be healthy – not skinny or fat. Right now all I seem to be teaching them is that junk food is our best friend, especially when we’re sad or happy or lonely or celebrating.
It’s a constant struggle, isn’t it?
{{{hug}}}
I came to a similar place over the summer. It is a “stretching” experience to let God be our scales! http://innerbeautygirlz.blogspot.com/2010/07/weight-gain-contentment.html
Ooooh!!! I’ll be right over to read that!
Sandy,
God bless you for your post today. I have said those same words to myself many, many times! You are an inspiration to a lot of women out there!
Thanks for recommending Adam Freeman PT’s blog.
I love Adam’s blog!!
Sandy,
I LOVE this post! Well done, friend…well done.
🙂
Oh, thank you. 🙂
Yay for you! I just wrote a similar post about this on Blissfully Domestic. There are so many opportunities we give the enemy to steal our joy. Way to go for giving him one less.
Great point! I need to hop over there and see your post!
my scale is in my closet too. but sometimes when no one is looking (cos my husband knows it is bad for me) i take it out and have a quick stand on it- ugh… it is never a good thing to do. i loved this post. thanks so much for sharing.
I do the same thing. One of these days, all my hard work is going to pay off, and I’m going to get on that stupid scale and it will reflect progress in the right direction. Praying the same for you!
Oh, how I can relate!!! Thank you for sharing your heart.
I go back and forth with my scale. I go through seasons of using it and not. Now — it is on my shelf and has been for about 6 months.
Probably best to leave it there, at least until the New Year. 🙂
Sandy,
I’m not a scale user, but too often use numbers to determine my worth. I read a post a few weeks ago by a friend who listed all the ways she let numbers drive her, and I can be the same way. I need to remember it isn’t just me watching the numbers in my life…it’s those little eyes too.
Great voice. Happy to find you here!
Great point! Funny…just today, I decided to take the “hit counter” off my blog for that very reason. I realized, I need to measure my success by how closely I’m following what God tells me to do, not by how many people click on my website.
Speaking of clicking on my website, thank you for stopping by there and for your sweet comment.
So good, Sandy! I just weighed myself yesterday after months of not doing so. Um, not quite what I wanted. Your post came at just the right time to remind me again of where my true worth comes from. Glad I clicked here instead of reaching for a cookie. 🙂
Ha!! Yes, better here than reaching for a cookie.
Oh honey…me and the Scale have had a love/hate relationship all of my life too! It has consumed me in years past…I’m able to let it go for the most part, but it creeps back up now and again…and I have to put it back in the closet!
After I do a few more weeks of P90X, I’m going to try to make friends with my scale again. In the mean time, it is in an extended time OUT!!
I’m with ya here lady…I had lost 46 lbs last year. This time last year, I was at my smallest and I felt so GREAT about myself. But I personally got undisciplined with my workout and with my nutrition, and put 15 lbs back on. I did the swimming leg of a triathlon as part of a team about 3 weeks ago, and after seeing the pictures from it, I just felt horrible. I couldn’t believe how 15 lbs, 15 measly little lbs, could turn me into this ultra-sensitive, defensive, self-downing freak!
So – I want to find the BALANCE ( get it, scales? balance? hardy-har-har) in this area, too. I have a blog that I just started to help in accountability in this area. I wanted a place where you could go write, “I ran a mile today and feel great!”, or “I went without pop today and I’m super proud of myself!”, or on a day where you didn’t run and drank pop for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, you could come and read to hopefully get some inspiration. Needless to say I’ve been too busy sewing for Christmas that I haven’t updated it in a week…but that’s beside the point, no guilt here! If anyone is interested in being a coauthor, that is what I’m looking for. I want other women to post what they are doing, too.
ofsomevaluetous.blogspot.com/
Wow…46 pounds! That’s amazing. Good luck with your fitness blog. I know how vital accountability is when you are trying to eat right and exercise often. I bet you will find all kinds of people to join up with you after the holidays. People are really motivated in January!
Thank you for this!
You are so very welcome.
Thank you for your honesty. I, too, struggle with my today look versus my yesterday look. Even though I look pretty good for a seasoned lady (50+ years) I remember how I looked in the past. It is true, “charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who loves the Lord is to be praised.” There is nothing more beautiful than a woman who radiates with the love of the Lord. And I listen to praise and worship and read devotionals or God’s word while sweating through the elliptical workout. I want to be a beautiful, healthy, reflection of his love to my Crowning Glories! Thanks for the encouragement.
You sound like a beautiful woman.
I applaud you for wanting to teach your children to be “healthy, not skinny.” Even more, I’m thankful for the power and strength you found when you leaned on Christ!
I love some of your last lines: “I decided right then and there, The Scale would NOT be the final word on my mood. The Scale would NOT be the final word on my self-worth. And most of all, The Scale would NOT determine the value of my daughter. Only God is allowed to do that.”
Thank you for this post.
Thank you for pointing out the things that impacted you in this post. It means so much to me.
Thank you for this great post. I have always been the skinny one, until the stress of living alone 5 days a week with my 4 little ones, moving to a new place to follow my husband’s job away from friends, family, everything we love, and losing a baby at six weeks pregnant all resulted in my gaining 20 lbs. I never had to lose weight before, my babies all seemed to “suck it out of me” if you know what I mean. I hate that scale, I hate my tight clothes, I hate that I Hate my body, which I should feel is beautiful. I really hate that my ten year old DD is noticing my hate. Thank you for the wake up call. I just might throw away that scale and go buy some clothes that fit me today.
Oh, Danielle…YOUR comment was a wakeup call to ME today! I woke up today and got on that Stupid Scale!!! I gained (again!) despite doing very intense workouts this past week (again!!!). I hated my body today (again!). I hated that nothing fits me (still!). And I hated that I hate my body. Just like you said.
And then I read your comment and I realized the power The Scale still had over me, despite my constant struggle to overcome it.
So, thank you for telling me how this post impacted you. Thank you….
~Sandy
This is so my life. I struggle with this on a daily basis. I just can’t seem to accept myself the way others do. I can seem to not see what I see. I haven’t weighed myself officially since I was in treatment and I still see the failure. I don’t want the scale to have the final word but it does. Help.