It’s morning. The sun is shining, the world awaits and the possibilities are endless.
I wake up with a stomach knot of anxiety. A nagging dread that eats at me to start the day.
I have a hard time identifying just what it is, but then I realize I’m gripped with fear.
And in the next heartbeat I realize I want to be fearless.
Where did this come from? How did I get to be so afraid?
What am I really worried about?
I try to hang on to so much –
I’m not enjoying these things because I’m afraid of all the loose ends and what’s coming down the pike and what if I mess it up and what if someday I get sick and what if after what if…….
And I want to be fearless.
But how do I get there?
I already know the answer. I can hear God calling me to give it all over to Him, but I’m not so sure I want to.
Giving it all to God will mean a shift of control. It will mean I need to take my hands off and put it all in His hands. I find this difficult to do, even though intellectually I know that the life I think I have control over is actually out of my control. It’s all just an illusion – because in reality, when problems come, I can help but I can’t always fix. I can listen but I can’t always solve. I can patch but I can’t always mend.
Only God can.
I am fearful, but I long to be fearless.
I need to put it in His hands. All of it. My anxiety, my dread, my concerns, my what-if’s.
So with tears and a prayer, I ask Him to take it. All. Every part. I choose to trust. I choose to let go.
And with a heart-touch as gentle as the morning dew, He draws it all off of my shoulders and onto His.
How glad I am to have chosen His hands instead of mine.
By Beth Coulton, Chocolate for the Heart