Sarah Markley
About the Author

I'm the mother of two little girls, the wife of an amazing husband who'd rather play the guitar than anything else and I love to write. I spend my weekends watching my daughters ride horses and play soccer. I blog daily and my greatest wish is to see women healed...

(in)side DaySpring: things we love
& you will too!
Find more at
(in)side DaySpring:
things we love
& you will too!
Find more at
Recent Posts

Reader Interactions


  1. Thank you Sarah for this post! As a full-fledged, card carrying member of the GRUDGE CLUB..I thank you for reminding me to open my hands and heart and release those things I hold so tightly. This was for me today. Praying that God blesses each and every reader today with sweet release.

      • Hi Sarah –

        Beautifully written. God has been speaking the same message to me again and again through different means. I don’t want to miss not doing anything about it this time.

        Sarah, i don’t know where to start with the healing process. I have such a major issue with letting go… from the tiniest of issues to the biggest ones. I just don’t let go. Its as if i am building a lasting relationship with holding grudges against everyone. I know i am not becoming the person Christ would be pleased with.

        Please help.

        • Your story sounds like me. I just recently had an issue with my husband and his family and I forgave him for his part at latest I thought I did but when I think about it I get upset all over again. I’m trying so very hard to let it go and move on. I know it starts in the mind so I’m constantly trying to renew my mind. I needed this read today!!

  2. Thank you for sharing this story. I have been working on the ole’ grudge thing for the past year and I think I’ve finally let go of the biggest grudge I held. But I still have a hard time dealing with the fact that they don’t let go of their grudge. I leave it up to God to work within their heart and maybe one day we’ll be able to talk.

  3. Awesome story, Sarah! I was totally blessed by your message today. Forgiveness is a powerful thing…for both parties involved! Tonya, I’m praying that you find peace with your situation! 🙂

  4. You have touched my very soul, both for my grudges and for those holding them against me. How truly futile is the energy and time spent!

  5. Thank you for your story. It is so true that holding grudges kills. All of us need to daily examine our emotions to see if we are holding on to past hurts and mistakes. God will heal when we let go. When I saw the title of the devotion, I was remind of the FROG statement I use a lot, i. e. FROG – Forever Rely On God.

  6. Ouch! I needed this today, as yes, I’ve been holding a couple grudges in my hand lately, and this visual of the squeezing in the hand gets me. An important reminder and so beautifully told; thank you.

  7. Thank you for this. We think of hate as murder but not holding grudges. I know that when I hold grudges it does murder a bit of me as well as the other person. I love the idea of carrying it with us tightly in our hands as we run through life.

  8. I love how you applied your childhood experience to an adult action we often perform so innocently but is so deadly: the act of holding grudges. Thank you as well for carrying me back to sweet carefree childhood.

  9. God’s perfect timing in bringing your words of truth to help me continue to grow, change and live this wonderful life in His love, joy and peace to His honor and glory!

  10. I remember the time I accidentally killed a caterpillar-I was probably five years old, and I felt guilty for days.
    So often I clench my fists tight and hold on to my resentment and bitterness.
    “We murder a part of ourselves too when we don’t forgive.”
    This is so true. Forgiveness is as much for yourself as it is for the other person.
    Trying to hold on loosely today. The things of this world will soon be gone, and holding on too tight will only weigh us down.

  11. My eyes filled with tears as I read this today… it was just another wonderful, perfectly timed message that I needed to hear as my husband and I try to repair our marriage. Words like this remind me of why we are given the people in our lives to love – it should be an honor to have them to love and hold and we shouldn’t be counting all their wrongs and holding those against them. Thank you, thank you! I always look forward to your posts because I know they will touch my heart in some way, shape or form. 🙂

  12. Beautifully written straight to my heart. Thanks for laugh too. My girls knocked on the door last night while I was cooking dinner. Big ol bullfrog greeted me with great big giggles.

  13. Wow, it never ceases to amaze me how God’s messages are delivered right to my inbox where He knows He can reach my heart!!! I have to forgive my mother, its killing me inside to dislike her so much. Im not sure Ill ever understand her but it doesn’t matter cause forgiveness frees me from that need.

  14. What a great analogy! The way you explain the frogs in your hand made it seem like we literally hold grudges with a tight fist. The imagery was perfect. I am not one to hold many grudges but I am familiar with bitterness… we all are. Thank you for the reminder to let go!

  15. I humbly thank you today for this message, Sarah. There is a struggle to forgive commanding my time right now. I am pleased to say I am on the verge of letting it go. But moments arise when it comes rushing at me. Your words confirm what I know to be true…I am killing a bit of my own heart when I hold onto this grief and anger. And your analogy spoke to me more than you can imagine as my sisters and I used to catch frogs in the summer at my grandmother’s house as well. Not from haybales – but from beautiful orange, earthen vessels on her front porch. When she passed away a few years ago, my sisters and I were allowed to keep one thing of hers. I chose the jars. Now when I see them, I will not only be reminded of my Mema – but of your beautiful words of encouragement in forgiveness. Thank you.

  16. People holding the grudges are also those too wrapped up in their anger to read this kind of thing or seek to understand the other side… Your words encouraging letting go are precious, we all need to hear them, me especially!
    Sarah Markley, when I read “can we unclench our fists… let go of grudges?” I know how hard that is having had long friendships but also very, very dear ones that have suffered and even ended. I know how much that hurts and how much dissapointment I will probably always feel. I don’t know how to deal with that except through the grace of God, one day at a time and trying to be open to where He leads, but it’s difficult sometimes.
    God bless you!

  17. Og goodness again the words hit my heart. I struggle having a relationship with my mom, nothing I do is ever right and never good enough. I try so hard not to take the cruel words and allow them to grow into grudges. Today this reminds me to open my hand and let the words loose.

  18. This met my heart exactly where it is today. Wow…so powerful to actually sit down and think about the damage that holding onto a grudge can cause. Working on releasing my grip and letting go…thank you so much for sharing! 🙂

  19. I have to watc h myself not to be a grudge holder. There is someone in my life that I know I need to forgive, but how do you forgive someone that continues to do bad things to you? I forgive her for one thing and then she does something else. Not good stuff. I can’t really cut her loose either, she’s my mother, but she is not a good person most of the time. 🙁

    • sorry for your struggle…..that must be very hurtful. have you considered setting boundaries?

  20. Heart felt thanks, Sarah, for the beauty, the power, and the loving encouragement found in these lines, these words right here. Your story is powerful. Amazing how much pain we cause ourselves and others when we hold on so very very hard to these prickly things, like grudges. But oh what healing there is in someone forgiving us and in our letting go and forgiving others. Peace is there. You have woven your story well and wrapped it in beautiful Truth. Grateful am I.

  21. This post just touched my heart and had me choked up in the mechanic’s waiting room this morning. Thank you for sharing.

  22. Oh, this is beautiful. Thanks for sharing this 🙂 🙂 I think forgiveness is something we should definitely hold on to….and be free to give it away, too 🙂 🙂 I’d read somewhere that holding onto a grudge is like letting someone live rent free in your head…so not worth it 🙂 🙂 Love and hugs from the ocean shores of California, Heather 🙂 🙂 🙂

  23. Sarah this is so good I had to share it on my fb…it’s a never ending lesson isn’t it? There is alway something our little hands do not want to release into His gentle merciful hands that bear the wounds from our sin…thought provoking post.

  24. I try not to carry grudges, but to forgive simple human weakness/mistakes. People will hurt us and say things without even realizing they have hurt our feelings badly.

    This has happened more than once at work and I try each & every day to look past the hurt to the people & the flawed personalities we all have thanks to sin.

    I will definitely open my heart and hands to receive all the good stuff God wants me to have and not hold tight to anything–if I’m not to have it then it wasn’t meant to be.

  25. I love your website, I have referred it to my several hundred friends over at John 3:16. You and your family are blessed indeed.
    Dr Robert E McGinnis Author of twenty plus Christian books.

  26. that was a blessing to me this am…thank you for bringing back good ol’ summer memories at the farm and my need to forgive!

  27. Such words of wisdom coming from such a “young’un”………….:)
    They are encouraging, inspirational and directional.
    Thank you!

  28. Again..another post that appears to me as if you were specifically talking to my heart and soul, all the while watching the events of my life unfold. I am currently in the midst of soulful prayer to release (sweet release as mentioned above (like this phrase) any grudges that may creep into my life. As so many above has said, it also hurts and is hard to keep moving forward when you know another, a loved one, is still holding onto a grudge…so much so, it is smothering out what I still believe is and can be a beautiful life and love affair. Thank you for your beautiful words and analogy. Keep me in your prayers, that this journey I’m on will continue to march in the right direction and all of us involved will find peace and the will to forgive, remember, love and Let Go and Let God!!

    Have a Blessed Day!!

  29. Your post brought back a flood of childhood memories of making the annual summer treck from Southern California to the midwest to visit family…being on the farm and picking much larger frogs and being thoroughly disgusted when I learned their defense mechanicism was to urinate in my little hand. I still get the heebie jeebies when I think of those frogs.

    The second half of your blog hit too close to home…forgiveness and that grudge i am holding onto so tightly. I have been carrying a pain in my heart for over three years now and a part of me wants to let it go…I’ve tried..(obviouly not hard enough) .I know I need to let it go…I am sinning because I won’t let it go…I’m afraid of what will hurt more… letting go and moving on as some in our family have done or acknowledging and trying to make peace with the fact that our family will never be the same now that someone other than my father-in-law sits in his seat at the dinner table and things will not be the same ever again.

  30. Sarah, thank you so much for your honesty. I didn’t have a chance to read this when it was posted yesterday, but it was ideal for this moment. God knew.

  31. This was definitely for me today! I’m having a hard time letting go of something. I thought I did but deep within it still upsets me.

  32. Thank you Sara! This post reminded me of what I already knew, but somehow wasn’t really doing. Thank you SO much!! I will unclench my fists and LET GO. Thank you, thank you, thank you….

  33. Thank you so much for this. I am a frog who has been killed. I am mailing this to a few people and praying that they will unclench their fist and free me. God bless you.