About the Author

Bonnie Gray is the author of Whispers of Rest and Finding Spiritual Whitespace, wife, and mom to two boys. An inspirational speaker featured by Relevant Magazine and Christianity Today, she’s guided thousands to detox stress and experience God’s love through soul care, encouragement, and prayer. She loves refreshing your soul...

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  1. Every.word. here felt like it was from God to me.. thank you.. I’ve been so confused lately and can’t figure out why I feel so fragile. I think this is it. My story.. my mom was super-abusive. For the first time in my life, we’ve both suspended contact with each other, and I’m 40 in a few weeks. I’ve beaten myself up so much trying to forgive, trying to have a changed heart towards her. Yet not half an hour after praying yet again for God to change my heart towards her, I hear myself telling one more person something that she did. I think it’s time to really feel the pain behind the anger. And not be afraid to do that. I don’t think I can move on unless I do, and I’ve tried EVERYTHING. Feeling the pain is the last thing we want to do, but can be soo healing.. I hope and pray.. Thank you for articulating this.. praying that your foot heals soon.. blessings on you, Bonnie for sharing your life!

    • Oh, Agnes. How very, very painful. Right to the deepest core. I understand your pain. I often want to be “changed” too, so that I can run away from the pain. Jesus wanted to run from it too in Gethsamane. Yet, He suffered through it, so He can suffer in it with us now. He won’t run from it. He won’t run from us — through friends we confide in — and in moments of private pain — He wants to heal us. Thank you for sharing the treasure of your brokenness, sister in Christ. Blessings!

    • Agnes,

      I have lived thru what you’re explaining, about your mom. My mom was very emotionally, mentally abusive and very withholding with her love, when I was growing up. I ended up growing up with the disorted idea that everybody’s feelings and every situation depended on me. The weight of the world was on my shoulders. I was plagued by hyper-responsibility. When I got pregnant with my first child, I experience severe anxiety and it continued into motherhood. I stopped talking to my mom for the first 6 years of my first child’s life and 3 years of my second child’s existence. When I miscarried my third pregnancy, I crashed and was debilitated by anxiety. Even having a wonderful husband and marriage, I still felt alone. I know now, that I needed to experience this level of suffering to learn to trust in the Lord. God carried me. He helped me take care of my children, even homeschooling them thru this period of grief. HIS Grace got me thru. I’ve learned that no matter the situation God will carry me. I depend on HIS Grace daily. HE knows your pain like no other and that being said. I wouldn’t have truly known Jesus without this inner death of self. You are not alone. HE loves you even, when you feel like your mom and her actions don’t. Welcome the pain. Life’s not perfect. It’s the only way we learn to look beyond it and see God. You will walk like Jesus and with HIs armor around you will except your mom, as she is and love her without wanting to change her. I forgave mine this way. He changed my heart. He can change yours. I still vent sometimes, but the Holy Spirit quickly moves me past it. That’s how HE loves us. I love you. It may sound strange, but I do… You are in my heart and prayers.

      Jen

  2. Bonnie!
    This was great! I’m sorry about your ankle and I hope you can finally do what needs to be done so that it heals properly. You have some kiddos to keep up with it sounds like!

    So many times over the course of my time in counseling my good friend,counselor, mentor from church kept telling me I needed to let myself feel my pain. Stop hiding from it and feel it. God was with me and it is okay if I feel the emotions of the pain I was in, I would not drown under them! That was so hard and scary to accept. But I found that she was right and God used things in my life just like he did with you to get me to hear him and listen to him. I had to feel the pain to get through it.

    My 8 months in counseling to work through the rejection, lack of love, non existent relationship, lack of trust, and many other things I felt about my mother, was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. My divorce doesn’t even compare to this pain and hurt I had to face head on. But I got through it with God beside me and some really wonderful friends. It still hurts sometimes around birthdays mostly but even that was easier to get through this year. I’ve accepted a lot of things through this but the biggest one is that I am not who I was and my past does not define who I am now. My entire past has helped me to get where I am today which is in a wonderful relationship with Jesus! Without feeling the pain, I don’t believe I would have the love, trust and comfort I have with Him!

    Thank you Bonnie for sharing your story and as hard as it is to feel the pain, I know from personal experience the feeling of it may hurt but it will not harm you like I thought it would. The harm was done to me years ago and there was no possible way I could be harmed again by it. Yes, it would hurt and it did to deal with it but I was never harmed. It was the best thing I could have done in my life.

    • Lisa, Lisa! Thank you for sharing your journey through pain so personally. It is so encouraging to hear how you made it to the other side of the hurt and fear. What was so comforting is that you remember how fearful and scary felt — to be understood is so amazingly powerful.

  3. Oh Bonnie you are one I really wish I could hug, your words stir up so much emotion in my heart.

    I to Amon a journey and maybe it’s something I need to think about to.
    Xxxx

  4. I’ve been waiting for the crisis to just go away. I cannot face something this big.
    I, too, have been told that I have a high pain tolerance, but I never thought about it in relation to emotional pain. Bonnie, your words always point me in the direction God is trying to take me and it’s usually a breath of fresh air. An ah-ha moment. A confirmation of some kind.
    Today your words remind me of the monster lurking just below the surface of the water. I cannot do this. I don’t want to. I’m bracing my feet and covering my ears.
    Is God really going to walk with me through this one? And must we really go there at all?
    Thank you, for writing words that would make me even ask these questions. There is a lot here for me to consider…..

    • Oh, girl. I’m so sorry you have to face this crisis you’re in! I wish I could make it go away for you, friend! (for myself too, LOL). I am right there with you, asking all those questions. We are not alone. Jesus is very patient with us and is very kind. He can handle all our fears and resistance. He doesn’t judge us. A broken reed, He will not break… *hugs*

  5. Thank you so much Bonnie this is so timely. I soo appreciate your openness and beautiful vulnerability – that’s why you can minister, that’s why you’re a gem. You are verbalizing for me particularly through what you call Mystery of Faith God’s current move in my life. So this is where all my deferred hope is leading to – He wants me to feel the pain too, to allow myself to be broken and yet not bitter etc etc and not just be high functioning all the time. That’s why I can say with you, “It is that time for me.” Hugs 🙂

    • Aw, Sarah! You just made me cry. A gem? … oh, that’s not the image that comes to my mind at the moment… but how beautiful are your words, sister in Christ! 🙂 Like a warm coat on my soul. Thank you. I loved this from your heart — “So this is where all my deferred hope is leading to – He wants me to feel the pain too, to allow myself to be broken” Just beautifully tender. hugs across the miles.

  6. Thank you so much for sharing, Bonnie. This post resonated with me so much I could hear God speaking to me through you words.

    In the past year I’ve dealt with such tremendous loss, one situation after the other, some of those closest to me have wondered how I have not come undone. I think it’s because I delve my energies into some new project or activity as a distraction. Never truly dealing with the pain. The recent loss I experienced over the weekend brought a halt to it all and ever since I’ve been questioning God because this one has jolted me. I can’t be distracted further. I have to go through this one. It feels like someone has ripped out my very being but each day I’m leaning closer to Him knowing that His grace is sufficient for me and perhaps for the first time, truly dealing with the pain and journeying through the process of the hurt, shame and disappointment.

    • CeeCee,

      Pray that God wraps His loving arms around you & cuddles you in His lap. May you feel his strength, grace & mercy surround you and envelope you–Reach out to Him he’s there!

      Praying for peace!

    • Oh, CeCe. It feels so, so hard. I know. 😉 As your mind searches for comfort, I pray that someone’s face can come to mind — and you can confide your pain — so you don’t have to be alone. Dear Jesus, hold CeCe right now and let the words she typed here confirm in her heart that her story is not hidden and you see her. Please bring a friend to her side for this journey. If that friend is already there, please bless that friendship. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

  7. I’ve lived for a couple years now with a smile on my face and an “everything’s ok” on my lips when it’s not. I don’t know if I can stand to really feel this pain when I have a husband to lift up, children to raise and parents to keep from worrying. I pray that if I truely need to feel the pain of this situation God makes it so. Thank you for you words today.

    • *hug* Oh, Katie. You are carrying so much on your heart and shoulders, friend… thank you for confiding in us… Dear Jesus, I lift up Katie, as she is in need of you right now — as we all are in need of you. Please comfort and speak your words of safety and assure her of your love. I pray you bring to her mind one friend who she can feel free to “not be ok”, and confide in the pain of this situation. Thank you for Katie. In Your Name, Amen.

  8. I have to thank you to Bonnie – as I sit and the tears are rolling down. I lost a dear sweet friend 2 years ago. She lived less then a mile from my house. Her husband has sold the house and today is the closing. So in a sense that wound of her loss feels like its opening again – in turn reminding me how I have to trust HIM more. What a great verse for today!

    So let’s walk right up to him
    and get what he is so ready to give.
    Take the mercy, accept the help.”
    Hebrews 4:14-16

    Thank you – In His love – Karol

    • Dear Karol, what a beautiful thing it is to be sisters-in-Christ! Esp. on this tough, tough day for you. What a precious gift is that you have such a deep friendship that goes right into your heart, expressing itself in tears. Blessings of God’s peace and comfort to you, friend!

  9. What a beautiful picture of trust being walked into the arms of the Great Physician. I hope for your healing and I pray for that now, Bonnie. Bless your bravery for sharing this place you find yourself in. May God meet you right there at that heart hurting place where you are longing for healing. Thank you for beautiful words here and encouragement to walk through our pain WITH God. And for calling us to give it all to Him. He is Big and Mighty and The Healer and knows all about suffering. Grateful here for this.

  10. Oh Bonnie! How timely!

    We found out yesterday that DH didn’t get a job within the company…they felt he was overqualified, and went on to say he’s overqualified where he is!

    We love life here, but were looking forward to a change, new scenery, and the chance to have more time together. He’s been working 7 days a week, nearly EVERY week, since he took this job 2+ years ago. I know he’s tired of it…and I am too!

    That job change represented not being responsible for day to day operations, so he would have a Monday to Friday job. Weekends off! But it wasn’t meant to be. Not yet anyways.

    I’m surprised at my relief of not moving, and surprised at my sadness of not getting to move! How can that be?

    I’m happy to get to stay at a church we love, where we are involved, and I have a volunteer title and we both get to lead, and I’m sad to not get to go someplace new, meet new folks, grow in our marriage and ministry together.
    I’m startled that for all his hard work and accolades that he didn’t get this job! I’m hurt for him! And to make matters worse (insult to injury?) he got called in at 3am to help solve a problem! And yet he is still honored that God gifted him this way, and people call when things need fixing.

    I’m perplexed. Sigh.

    So thanks for writing this and putting it out there today. I’m taking notes of my symptoms (feeling ungrateful and worn out, and a little emotionally flat-lined) and I won’t ignore them or leave them unattended to.

    Good to see that writing your book isn’t leaving you wordless here! Praying for you!

  11. Exactly words I needed to hear…permission…something women don’t give themselves often enough!

  12. I’m reminded of Dr. Paul Brand’s studies on leprosy. The need for pain…..the need to be in touch with sensing & feeling pain to alert ourselves to the need for protection, care &I healing. If you haven’t already read his work it would be a blessing to you as you are carried through this season. Be blessed.

  13. This is a good word, Bonnie. It does take faith and trust to allow yourself to feel the pain. It’s so easy to stick it in a box and shelve it so that we don’t have to deal with it. I never considered the faith aspect before. Thank you for sharing God’s insight!

  14. Bonnie!!
    All I can say is “WOW”! You words truly jumped off of the screen and landed deeply in my soul. All of my life I have prided myself at being able to manage multiple things at one time. Even as a young child, my mother called me an old lady because I took on responisibility so quickly, and so proudly. However, there have many struggles (like most of us) in my young life. I have never really taken the time to “feel” during any of those times. Even now, I still cannot bring myself to feel the struggles I have in my life currently.
    As I continue to move forward in my professional life and brush off the issues I have in my personal life, God seems to giving all of these signs that I too have pain to feel, and that I need to rely on him as opposed to doing everything BUT walk through the flames of pain with Him holding my hand. Instead of priding myself on how strong I am and how much I can handle, I need to follow God voice and go into the storm. I will be washed by the grace, mercy, and strength of God when I come through the other side!
    Thank you Bonnie, for your words of revelation and honesty. I will praying for you while you go through this new season of your life.

  15. This was such a timely reminder.

    I *fight* feeling needy. I don’t like to be the one asking for encouragement – I like to be the one giving it. The other day I was pouring my heart out to my friend and realized that it is ok to be the one asking…not always giving.

    Why is it so hard to admit that we don’t have it all together?

  16. It took me years of prayer and therapists, tears and brokenness and God to pull me up out of that pain and I never, ever want to go there again. Yet I see the wisdom and lovingkindness of the Lord in your words, Bonnie.

  17. Truthfully, the title scared me. Last week or so I was reminded that I have some very deep hurts, that I continue to push aside in the hopes that they will heal themselves. In my rush to stay on top of life’s demands, I feel myself being one step away from a crumbling mess, and that motivates me to try harder, rest later, seek and pray sparingly. Wonder why I feel so lost and un-connected to my true source of joy and peace. I’ve got a long weekend coming up, perhaps I will take some time to be honest before God and myself. Thank you dear Sister for your words. In God’s Love, sheila

  18. This is incredibly good post! In my journey from stepping out from behind the mask I discovered that the Truth hurts but the Truth also heals! Thanks for sharing your story.

  19. Wonderful post. Usually the “ouch, this hurts” moments are the ones where He is growing me the most. Our miscarriage last fall is without a doubt my biggest ‘I don’t want to go through this pain’ right now. And I go through spurts where I will feel like I’m doing so well, appreciating the value in the pain of such a loss – the learning to trust that God is sovereign through it all. But the stings still come in the pit of my stomach and I know they always will, the heart twinges as well. And yet through this, so much beneficial growth – growing even closer with my hubby, not taking my other babes for granted, the ability to truly relate with others who have suffered a similar loss, the desire to reach out more,… And on and on He grows the value of the horrifying experience for His Glory and out of a deep love for my needs. It hit me not that long ago that it’s a different kind of happy ending to one of the many priceless journeys along this life’s road.

    Thanks for your encouragement today!

  20. Bonnie,
    You hit the nail on the head…or should I say….the foot?
    Women often have a high tolerance for pain and do not seek help when life becomes too difficult to bear alone.
    Thank you for driving this point home and sending us to the Saviour!

  21. Hi Bonnie……I’m in the midst of feeling emotional pain from my past and present. I just let the Holy Spirit “go there” with me…..and I let the pain out…..it’s amazing when it’s all cried out….you can be exhausted yet revived….it brings about a certain sense of freedom…..and opens my heart to receive joy….Blessings to you Bonnie and I trust your foot will heal fine…..for HIS Glory……Jude

  22. its so good to know that I’m not alone… To admit to be needy or in pain… To have to deal with the issue that I’ve been trying to ignore for so long…. I’m so grateful that I took the time to read this today… GOD is ever faithful and true and always willing to assist… thank you so much… bless you!!

  23. Wow! Great analogy going from your foot to your soul. My soul is in pain because my children are leaving home. I know everyone with kids goes through this, but this is my first time. It is hard! I’m grateful to know that I have a loving Heavenly Father who can help get me through it. (And an awesome husband, too).

  24. Dear Bonnie – Thanks for sharing this Amazing devotion! You always touch my heart beyond words <3 Love – Stacey

  25. Thank u for sharing this today . It was what I needed, I have prayed so to have this pain taken away, now I think I too need to work thur it. Again thank u, my prayer is with u and your ankle. God bless.

  26. Phenomenal! Your post touched me very deeply! I felt led to send it to all my friends in hopes that it would touch them as deeply! Such a blessing! Thank you so much for sharing!

    -Gina

  27. Bonnie,

    My season where I suddenly find your highly productive, competent-self encountering a wall of weaknesses and confusion–has lasted about 6-9 months. My job changed drastically last fall–I no longer do much, if any, patient care/vitals. I just do ancillary work at the clinic. This change has taken my “God-given peace” away from me and changed my attitude to somewhat ugly.

    I’ve done the typical things like praying, doing devotions with husband again, taken more days off–even went to a Women’s Conference. Oh I feel ok away from work, but most days at work–I feel “unwanted” in a way.

    I know God will answer my prayer for healing and a different job–In His Perfect Time and through His Perfect Will!

  28. Am reading this (whole thing) over, and over, and over, and over again…
    “Sometimes, the pain we have worked so hard to avoid is the one thing that leads us to where God calls us to go. Sometimes, feeling our need is the greatest work of faith we can surrender to.’
    ….”haven’t abandoned you… use it differently…”
    …where are YOU leading me with this? I’ve been so absorbed with worrying about ___ and fearing ___ & like situations that I miss whole parts of my life avoiding going back to this …I know this is the next step … what does God want in my life? Hiding is as hard as hurting.
    – what is God’s plan in this?

  29. This is what I needed to read today…I had some really disturbing things turn up in my counselling session yesterday, things I had layered so thickly with denial that I had convinced myself they weren’t there and that everything was fine. So here I am, 8 months pregnant, trying to cope with a more accurate reality, but devastated by it. I believe that God gave this insight to me now precisely because I CAN’T really do anything about it, I just have to feel the pain honestly and try to think my way through it.I am clinging to the thought that life is often tough, but He is good, and He has His reasons for timing.

  30. I am definetly feeling the pain. But I don’t know what I am hiding. All that I know is that faith is weak. All the prayer, bible study, and church attendance doesn’t seem to be healing the pain. Everytime I think I got it, I am good now, something happens to remind me that I am not good, I hurt, I am tired of being beaten on. For example why should you have a broken bone when you did something very nice and allowed your husband to rest while you took the kids out of the house? Is that the payment for your kindness?

  31. Thanks Bonnie for sharing your life and your wisdom. I can identify with being highly productive, having high pain threshold etc. I even have a pain in my foot (which I will attend to, soon) ! I have been learning to let myself feel the pain instead of putting it away so I can continue to function at high gear. Sometimes it is hard to let go of old habits which worked, for me, for people around me. Thinking positively, moving on, these have their places but sometimes, I just need to face it, feel it, stay and seek healing. Thank you for reminding me and affirming that it is fine to let it out. We do have a great high priest who understands and sympathises with us. I must be wise and approach him, not hide.
    Praying for your foot and your heart.

  32. Thank you for your encouragement! I am coming out of a difficult time in my life, but still struggling as to know why I’m still struggling. To have to face the pain when all I want to do is be done with it isn’t something I look forward to. But, I know it will lead me to a deeper understanding of and dependence upon God, which is His purpose. It’s encouraging to be reminded that God is good and trustworthy to be with me throughout the healing process.

  33. Oh, Bonnie – been there. Yes, yes, indeed. BEEN THERE. And you do have to let the pain rise, the tears rise, the memories rise – with good help, if possible, and with the loving presence of God to assure you that this will not undo you, but rather heal you. SO sorry about your ankle, though, and praying they get to the bottom of it all and can help you with pain relief and strengthening what is broken. Been missing your voice out here in blogland – hope the book writing is going well. And maybe, just maybe this invitation into the pain is an important part of that process, too.

  34. I just posted the other day about chronic pain – the physical, the spiritual – and 3 different stories from the internet that have spoken to me about suffering and healing…and I “just happened” to come across a novel at the library by Sally John called “Heart Echoes,” which is all about a woman whose childhood pain affects all her decisions into adulthood, and how all the years of running and numbing eventually have to be dealt with, faced, and healed. What courage that requires. Sometimes my flesh wishes God were less of a spiritual healer – that we weren’t always working on some project together – but of course, I don’t really mean that. I just don’t like it when it gets hard and a little too close to the source of the pain. He is so gentle, faithful, and trustworthy will ALL our pain. O how I love Him!

  35. Thanks for this post.
    You are right on.
    I appreciate that you talked about the pain and the need to feel it, deal with it with God.
    I have been walking with God through my pain for almost 3 years. Sometimes it has been like a full time job!
    The blessings are enormous. All my life I hungered to love Him more and to know His love, As He removes the blocks and heals me that is exactly what is happening. I am thankful! I have joy and peace and delight in my relationship with Him.
    It is difficult to look at the complicated, painful things that are in our lives but the end result is so worth it. God is Big Enough.

  36. Oh Bonnie, what a powerful sign your words brought to me today. I feel like I am finally hearing God tell me to just ride out the waves of pain. I’ve fought years of resisting and fighting my physical and emotional pain and putting on a happy face for others only to hurt even more. Reading your words was a gift to me today and I’ve journaled to be sure to keep the message of permission to surrender in my heart. Thank you, thank you so much for touching me so deeply!

  37. Thank you Bonnie for such an insightful devotion.

    I was one of those who was a bit scared when I saw the title – I don’t want to feel any more pain – physical or emotional.

    I did have a little chuckle about your foot (sorry), as a similar thing happened to me a number of years ago & it was 6 weeks before a physio diagnosed it. My Dr said it wasn’t broken!!! I did the same thing 4 years ago and refused to leave ER before I had an X-ray. Dr was pretty annoyed with me, but very apologetic when the X-ray showed the break. If I hadn’t broken my foot before and felt the pain I would not have insisted on that x-ray the next time.

    I have been through some emotional pain over the years and eventually dealt with it, which was a relief. I wouldn;t still be married to my wonderful husband, if I hadn’t dealt with one lot. which took a long time to heal and I allow myself to really feel the horrible pain in my heart.

    I’m going through a different sort of pain now, as our finances are in a bad way, and it has taken its toll, but I’m learning to be strong. After eading your devotion, I realised I’m not depending enough on the Great Physician – sometimes even ignoring Him, and my faith grows weak – other times it is strong!!! I know God understands, but I also know I have to fully depend on him and not my own devices.

    Thank you for the reminder and I hope your foot gets better soon. I had to wear a horrible black boot brace for months – hope you are spared that!!!!

  38. I have many medical conditions – arthritis being one (actually two) of them. I have RA and OA – some days my body hurts so bad and I don’t always listen to it. I am also unemployed, which causes a different type of pain. I have applied for many many jobs. Frustration set in not only with my body not listening to me but with not even hearing from the many places I applied for a job at.

    Then, my mother hurt her knee planting flowers. She was unable to get around for a few days and was deeply depressed. I just got close to my mother about 2 years ago – we were never very close. We are two peas in a pod right now and I enjoy every moment I spend with her. I have siblings who do not like it that we spend time together – quite a bit of time actually. I was at her house on Tuesday evening helping her plant the rest of her flowers. She had some put aside. Told me they were for the cemetery (where my dad is buried and she will rest someday). She proceeded to tell me that I am now the keeper of the cemetery plots. I knew I would take over this wonderful responsibility some day, however, i was not ready to hear my Mom say she couldn’t do it any more. I took the plants to the cemetery, cried the whole time I was planting them – and replanting them so they would be just right and I talked to God and my Dad. A calmness came over me when I realized I was trying to control everything in my life and not trusting God enough. He sent me to the cemetery, to kneel, weep and talk to him.

    I now am doing my hardest to just let go and let God. I figure whatever path he is paving for me, I will follow – I have just asked him to help me find it, as I am weak and not always aware of which path he has paved for me.

    Since that day, I have heard from two different employers. Had one interview and have just been notified I made the first cut. My next interview in next Tuesday. I praise God for helping me realize – through pain of body, mind, heart and tears – while kneeling in the cemetery taking on a duty I wasn’t prepared for – but I know he knew it was time for me to take over.

    I am saying – your will God, not mine daily – and not just saying it – believing it. I have to remind myself of that often, after so many years of trying to mask/hide the emotional, physical pains, it’s time to let go!

    p.s. I never felt worthy of God’s good graces. It is still a concept I have struggles with at times.

  39. crying……..you put into words what I have been struggling with……… thank you
    karen:)

  40. Hi Bonnie, My question is what if you have admitted to yourself what is causing the pain, but now have no idea what to next? The thought of making the change that should be made is crippling and not doing anything at all is equally debilitating? I pray that God sends me a clear cut sign/answer because this state of “knowing but not” is painful. Hope your foot is all better very soon.

  41. God spoke to my heart reading this, it has been the journey I’ve been on. Struggling thru a Fibromyalgia and other diagnoses, a failed back surgery and currently healing from another failed back procedure. In the middle of this my soulmate and only family filed for divorce and the hate from him is suffocating at times. The house just sold w/a short escrow and I will have to depend on others to pack my things and put them in storage and stay at friendsm while others keep my beloved animal family. And still trying to make sense of it all I find myself needing to file spousal support – I go weak at the knees just entering the courthouse. In the meantime my husband did not know I was home and showed up with his girlfriend – what have I done to deserve this? Wrong question. Its about surrender and submission and will I trust the Faithful One. I have been seeing the pain I’ve been carrying while growing up. More healing. God wants me to heal completely in everything. For Him to truly be my everything. Without faith its impossible to please God, be strong and courages, stand firm – the battle belongs to the Lord, the good seed gets choked out by the cares/worries of this world and then Gods Word can’t get planted in my heart…my choice, will I trust?

  42. This was beautiful Bonnie! I thought I was all healed up from my major depression, when it reared it’s ugly head again. I felt like a complete failure, until I realized that healing comes in stages and draws me closer to the Lord with each passing day. Your post reminded me of this quote that I read yesterday (at just the time I needed it) “Unlike people, Christ is never intimidated by the depth of our need and the demonstration of our weakness.” Beth Moore, Praying God’s Word Day by Day

  43. I soo needed to hear this today. After keeping so busy for so long and saying I’m all right for so long, something within me has just broken open, and I .. just … can’t anymore. I’ve been so independent and self-sufficient, it’s so hard to hear God say, “let Me carry you through this,” over and over again but I’m so frickin stubborn that only now am I willing to listen, truly listen to Him. There’s loads more to the story, but that’s where I’m at at this point.

  44. I minimized my pain for years thinking I just wasn’t capable of handling life correctly. Two years ago God unveiled so much abuse in my life that I just wasn’t able to see and it took my breath away…chest tightening pain. Much religious abuse about who God wasn’t was mixed in as well. Because of misguided teaching, my view of who God was kept me in fear of Him and I wasn’t able to “show” God my wounds. He knew this–praise Jesus!–and first showed me His TRUE love {without requiring acts} and that through the Holy Spirit He communicates with me. Me! He speaks to me! Since then, He has been lovingly, tenderly walking me through these “hidden” pains and I am so grateful! I literally just took a break to catch my breath as pain was bubbling up and your post is where God directed me. Amazing love. Thank you, Bonnie. Thank you for writing about this SUPER important, completely universal truth of our pain. {pain is pain} It touched me when I needed reminded that He desires to hold me and bind up my wounds so they can truly heal.

  45. How wonderful to see a post from you, again!! Oh, I know the feeling of pain..in the ankle. I had sprained my ankle, twice, when I was in Florida for a year (2007) and broke a toe. I sprained the same ankle, too! But it was so bad that I felt it right away and could not even walk on it at all and had to wear an ankle brace. I felt the toe break when I accidentally jammed it against a steel rod under a chair while dusting and trying to reach behind a lamp. I leaned forward and moved my right foot and felt so much pain that I was stopped in my tracks.
    So what’s the difference between us that feel the pain right away and those that go on trucking and don’t feel it right away? I guess it might depend on how fast God wants to catch our attention. In my case, I think He wanted me to stay in Florida longer than I planned and those injuries, which happened one right after another, were an excellent way to keep me there.
    Come to think of it, there was a lot of pain that year in Florida because I also had to have three teeth extracted. I had just sprained my ankle and then had the extractions all at the same time. I was in so much pain that Vicodin didn’t even take the edge off of it.
    There was emotional pain, too, that year because my nephew hunted me down and told me my sister died. (There are a LOT of family issues revolving around how badly I was abused as a child by my older brother and sisters. My nephew was badly abused by his parents, too.)
    So I would have to say that 2007 was the year of pain. I drove across country to Arizona again to discover that my mother was in the hospital and she was dying. She died a week after I arrived. I had to confront the remaining members of my abusive family… They had not changed.

  46. I’m accustomed to physical pain. I, too, have a high threshold for pain. Over the last few years I’ve learned to listen to my body more closely. I’ve learned that I need to know my body and it’s quirks well in order to help doctor’s understand what’s going on beyond a test they can run. I’m still not so good with my soul. I’m still an expert at ignoring and stuffing pain away to some corner where it won’t bother me. Lately, however, I’m caught off guard when something wells to the surface . . . and there has been a good deal of welling lately. Thanks for the reminder that there are things I need to take to the Great Physician. (It’s good to read your words again!)

  47. Bonnie, thank you so much for sharing this today. It was brave of you to write so honestly.
    Your words really spoke to me. There is so much that chimed with me – being in pain is a challenge that I’m not used to and, if I’m honest, I don’t want to have in my life. I too can ‘do capable’. But our bodies need pain and we are designed to feel pain – we would be so vulnerable without it. It is hard, though, to sit with pain, but God is with us.
    And I’ve loved reading all the comments, too. So encouraging to me.
    Blessings X

  48. Oh, Bonnie, praying for your full recovery and healing, body, mind, and spirit! Thanks for a wonderful post! Blessings!

  49. Bonnie, I am so thankful for this post and it could not have come at a more perfect time. I recently had a painful past situation come up this past week. I always try and pray those prayers of “I am more than a conqueror” etc..when I am going through a tough time. And I know that we are conquerors, but what I don’t do is let myself “feel” the pain, especially if it’s inflicted by someone else. I feel if I do that, then they have won. I just realized the other day that I am kidding myself and that it’s okay for me not to put on a brave front, that I can go to God and just say “this really hurt me” and allow myself to feel it and ask for Him to meet me in it. I forget to ask Him to meet me in it. He wants to, but I have not allowed it for so many years because I am trying to be one of those people that puts up the front “whatever, it doesn’t matter what you say and do”. Thank you so much for this post and I pray that I can walk in this newness of revelation of allowing myself to feel pain. Counting on His grace and faithfulness to carry me through. Thank you thank you!!

    Charise

  50. I can relate to this post on so many levels. I walked around on a foot fractured in 5 places for several weeks. My prayers go up for your total recovery.

    Your take away from this is something that I can’t quite find words to comment on. I’m in a very hard place right now. Been in many tough situations in life, but never have I hurt this badly. Nothing that I’ve done in terms of reading the Bible or praying has helped. And, it’s getting very hard to function. My heart feels like ground hamburger.

    I hurt. And the consolation that I receive from your words comes in the form of knowing that I am not alone. Others hurt. God knows and He is there. I really needed to be reminded of this today.

    Thank you for sharing so transparently, Bonnie.

  51. Bonnie,
    This is a beautiful word you have shared here.
    I recognized my (former) high functioning self. Now, I am more of a mess, but a grace-filled mess who has learned that God does care about my pain.
    You are a gifted writer. Thanks for sharing,

  52. Oh dearest Bonnie, I am praying for you. I have missed your blogging. Just as I know you and others have been praying for me. I am very good at MASKS, but I have been pulling them off the last several years. For the first time I had a rough situation and I decided to walk into the darkness of the pain and suffering I was dealing with AS IT HAPPENED. It was a first for me. God showed up in the darkness BIG time. For the first time in my life I faced it head on and dealt with it as it came. I did not run and hide from the pain life has thrown at me. I have shared with God and others the pain and tears. Healing has come to my soul so much faster and deeper than ever before. I am closer to God and others also.

  53. I am so glad that I read this today. I know that God lead me here to hear these wonderful words!

    I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia and am tired or in pain most of my days. I went through a divorce 3 years ago and am a single parent who is still trying to work and provide, when most times I feel too bad to even care for myself. I come home exhausted and have no energy to do the things I need to do and don’t think I will be able to work much longer. I have questioned God’s plan for awhile now.. Why me God? You know I need to provide and pay my bills, ect..bargaining with God, but I know that His ways are not my ways.

    He is leading me to make some very difficult decisions about my life and where He wants me to go and it is very painful. I do not know what the future holds, but I do know who holds my future. I know that He has the best for me, although my path looks very grim. He is doing a work in me, heart work, and I have to let Him.
    Some things are hard to understand, but I know that the inside work that He is doing in my life, is bringing forth fruit. Although I feel like I am withering away, He is holding me and giving me strength.

    It hurts me both inside and out to see my dreams shattered, but I am looking forward to what God has for me in my future. Life is hard, but God is good!

  54. Reading this post and the comments afterwards, I realize that we women are so vulnerable to this situation! We try to take care of everyone and everything else so efficiently that we (usually unconsciously) neglect our own well-being; mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It seems “selfish” to take care of ourselves sometimes. Being the only child of an only child, I’ve been in the position to be “the rock” when things were falling apart; for my mom and grandmother when my grandfather died; for my mom when my grandmother and then my dad died not long after; for my husband (ALSO an only child) when his father died two weeks after our wedding. Now I find myself at 48 years old, fighting a life-long weight problem (while pretending that the extra pounds don’t bother me), struggling to find meaning in my job, trying to make it through each day when I really just want to hide under the covers and sleep the pain away. I am literally terrified to actually feel all that pain; I’m terrified that if I were to let the tears start, they would never stop.

    This post has given me some comfort and made me think about how much I have tried to BE the rock without going to The Rock first. I am determined now to explore my emotions a bit more and ask Jesus to hold my hand while I do. Thank you for your words, and I join the other commenters in hoping that you have a quick recovery from your broken bone! God Bless!

  55. Bonnie,
    A friend of mine sent this to me and it hit the nail on the head. Three and a half years ago, my family had a tragic event happen and my husband was ripped from our lives and into the justice system. He was protecting our family, I witnessed it all and my heart was shattered. Just like your ankle, for a while, on the outside, I was black and blue. As the bruising faded, everyone around me began to think that I was healing, dealing, moving forward. I still have no words to convey to them what my husband’s absence from mine and our boys life has done to me. I even think to myself that I should be over it. But I’m not. I run so hard from the pain, that I’ve become numb to it. I cry sometimes and I can’t tell you why I’m crying. I don’t feel anything really, but still the tears stream down my face. Asking the Lord to help me seems futile. I know I’m broken inside, but I don’t know how to heal with out the pain that will be involved. I miss my husband every single second of every day, but if I let myself feel that as much as I truly do, I wouldn’t be able to function at all. I was never told that I have a high pain tolerance, I was always told that I was the strong one, so no one thought that I needed any thing. Needy is not something any one wants to feel, least of all the strong ones or the ones with a high pain tolerance. I want to heal, but trusting the Lord to help bring me through the pain when I feel betrayed by Him is a daunting task. Thank you for putting so poignantly the words that my heart and soul needed to hear.
    Blessings in Him,
    LeAnne

    • LeAnne,

      I can’t imagine trying to make sense out of your situation or what you are facing. What I can say is that I am sorry that you are facing it. It is not fair, it doesn’t make sense, and it is painful. Can I pray for you today? I pray for Him to reveal His tender loving kindness to you, that You may feel how deeply He cares for you and about each detail of Your life. I pray for Him to work in Your life and sustain You, even if you can’t see it yet. Most of all, I pray that He keeps you in the palm of His hand and lets you know that you are not alone and that you don’t have to be the “strong one.” May He provide people who will let you be real with them and who help support and sustain you.

  56. Thank you for these words, Bonnie. In my own life, I sense that God is working on developing in me a sense of security and confidence. He is showing me where the lack of these things has come from and also encouraging me to learn to set up healthy boundaries and define who I am. There is also a whole lot of learning to trust in Him. This work definitely involves looking at hurts and allowing God to heal them by speaking Truth. It is not easy, but it is necessary. Again, thank you for your post.

  57. Wow -this post is me today. Substitute wrist for ankle and years for months and there you have it.

  58. This came at a time I really needed it. I have so much pain and hurt in my heart right now. I know I need to give my heart to God and I know I need to hurt before I can heal. Its part of the process. I pray that God guides me through this very difficult time in my life. Thank u for sharing. Blessings

  59. Bonnie, thank you for the gift of these words. God has been bringing up memories of past hurts lately and I’ve been wondering why – this is it exactly. It’s time to feel the pain and ask Jesus into those places I’ve managed to surround with scar tissue and mask from view. Thank you.

  60. Aloha and thank you Bonnie, the timing was interesting in finding this post. Your message brought to my attention that I haven’t allowed myself to feel some emotional pain that I hold. I’m fully aware that held like this it will create physical pain, and does. I’ve been unwilling to let any seemingly negative emotion cause me to let down my guard, appear to be weak, wanting to stay positive, accept, and take inspired action. Thank you for reminding me that there has to be a balance. I feel that when seemingly bad things happen, discord, unrest, stress, if I allow myself to “react” then I’m feeding my ego, my patterns from the past…and I want to be present now. But I also see that these are God given emotions. They are meant to be felt. Meant to be honored, and that they arise for a reason. May all those who are burdened, in pain, grieving, overwhelmed or alone, know that they are not alone, that they are part of us all, a collective energy that can heal and soothe each other, can support and encourage each other, and can generate a new and healing energy just by their loving thoughts, words and intentions…Blessings everyone, may peace be with you….

  61. Thank you so much Bonnie! Just what I needed to hear! After going through a lot of struggles a few years ago, I thought that was all behind me…but recent events brought up the past and I wonder…do you ever get over losing a loved one? I so appreciate your writings – you ARE a blessing!

  62. It never ceases to amaze me how God uses the words of a stranger to reach right into the heart of what I need from Him. Years of living with physical pain and trying to bury my emotional pain has left me on empty. Navigating a broken relationship that is not “technically” broken. I’m tired and discouraged. God has felt far away but I know He is not. Thank you for the encouragement.

  63. So nice to read another of your posts, Bonnie. And you are right on. We need to feel the pain to heal. This is especially difficult for those of us who are strong women. We aren’t used to sharing our pain. God has worked and continues to work in this area of my life. Praying for your healing in all areas, my friend.

  64. I’m a wimp. I hate pain. I ask sometimes Lord, please don’t let me wake up tomorrow if I still have to feel this way..but I wake up. I ask Him to make me numb but my broken heart still aches. I don’t know how I even stand some days, well I do know it’s His strength because I don’t have any..how long? I ask with the psalmist..I read so many quotes about it..give him all the pieces and He will heal..I say that..take it, all of it. My mind won’t be quiet, I need part of my brain taken out so I can forget..so I’ll stop hoping..I walk around like you said..looking “fine” on the outside but I am screaming inside..silently crying at any memory that chokes my heart even more..tears fall at any time, and I can’t explain. I read “and it came to pass” waiting for the day this pain finally does.

  65. I married for the first time at 48 and at 55 I am hugely disappointed living in a very dis functional marriage. Itbhas caused all kinds of health issues because I am avoiding the pain, avoiding dealing with the hurt and disappointment. Thank you for this post. I am a teacher and am 5 days away from summer break. I want this to be a summer I let Jesus meet my need and heal my hurts. But I’m not at all good at letting others help me, at admitting my failure. And I’m so very, very tired.

  66. Thank you so much for this very encouraging post…it spoke to me much more than you can know. My Dad died this past January (14th, 2012) just two weeks after I layed next to him in his bed holding his fragile and boney hand on New Year’s Eve to welcome in the new year with him as he lay slowly dying. I would have never imagined that two weeks later he would be here no more. I have not grieved. I don’t want to process his death, the first death of a loved one I have ever experienced. My mind cannot grasp that he is nowhere on this Earth that I cannot drive or fly to visit him or pick up the phone to call him. So I push everything down. I banish my thoughts as soon as they start to enter my mind that he is not here. I busy myself incredibly with full-time work and full class load in my graduate program. If I have any free time for my mind to be idle for example while driving, well I listen to audiobooks. IN the shower I listen to Good Morning America in the background. If I am home with a spare moment, well I surf the Internet or read a large variety of magazines which I buy by the armload. I spend time focusing on my husband and going out and doing things with him, trying new restaurants, exploring new hiking trails or running routes. Anything, anything to distract me 24/7 so that I do not have to think of the fact and face the reality that my Dad is not here with me anymore.

    Thank you for this post.

  67. Every word you wrote spoke directly to my soul. I have been building walls around open wounds in my soul for so long that I’ve almost forgotten how to feel, really feel. These wounds are the result of the sudden loss of my husband, the loss of a child to disease, the loss of a step-son to a tragic, firey head on crash, and most recently my twenty one year old son’s suicide attempt. I work, I smile, I say the right things but there is a well of pain inside of me that I’m afraid to even begin to feel. Every now and then something happens that pulls the scab off these wounds just a little and the pain is so overwhelming, suffocating that I stuff it back down and go on being ‘just fine’. God has been challenging me to trust Him…..to allow the wounds to not just be covered by to be healed so that I can experience the fullness of joy He has planned for me but I’m scared…..I’m scared that I could start screaming and never stop…..I’m scared that I cannot bear the realities I must accept to heal….. but you have reminded me that I don’t have to do it alone…..I will trust Him to hold me tight as I step ever so lightly onto the path of healing.

  68. I’d like to recommend this book to everyone who commented. Truly took me to another AMAZING level in the healing process… GOD IS SOOO GOOD!!!

    Healing for Damaged Emotions by David A. Seamands.

  69. Hi Bonnie……OMG, how our LORD used you to speak with me today (even though I received this yesterday.) Anyway, I have been going thru this for sooo long now but the LORD has been revealing HIMSELF daily to me with HIS words. Thru you and a sister in the LORD I’ve come to know what a high resistance for pain I do have…..I have always been the fixer, the go to person, the one that has all the answers, the one that will always understand and the one that can handle any situation…..in other words, I was playing GOD so I was just burying my feelings because, of course, my feelings (from what I always believed) didnt matter…… the result of this is I don’t even know me anymore, I’m very overweight and my marriage is falling apart. I have wonderful kids, 21, 20 and 12 with a husband who is very needy & not a believer. I really am falling apart but Im seeing that our LORD is molding me…….Im finally starting to feel the pain (not really thrilled about this)……but I can honestly say I am starting to rely on HIM for my every second……HE will bring me & you & all the rest of the beautiful women who have written thru our personal storms…..and my prayer for all of us is that we continue to Praise, Worship, Trust & Glorify HIM for only HE is Worthy for HE is doing a perfect work in us….Jeremiah 29: 11-14 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper & not to harm you, plans to give you hope & a future. Then you will call uponME & come & pray to me, & I will listen to you. You will seek ME & find ME when u seek ME w/all you heart. I will be found by you & will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations & places where I have bansihed you. I will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

  70. I know this is a journey I’m supposed to take as well… God has been putting folks like yourself in my life that are all saying the same thing… I realize that until I face that “terrible awful” from my past, I’ll never be able to heal and walk in the paths God has for me… just been tiptoeing around it for years and years… maybe now? Finally? THank you for being open and honest.

  71. Hi Bonnie,

    So I just read your post. LOVED it for it’s truth. Long-story short. Grew up for the first 18yrs without my dad (due to my parents divorcing). But God has restored our relationship these last 26yrs. It’s been a TRUE blessing to be in relationship with my dad. But I do know that like you I have a high-tolerence for pain. It took the tragic death of a dear girlfriend of mine (she was murdered while closing up her evening shift-she was a hostess at a restaurant). When I found out the news my body went into shock. I could not feel my right arm and it tingled all the way to my hands. Later came to realize I had experienced my first panic attack….God-willing my last. It’s going to be seven years this coming June since she’s been gone. I say all this to say that up to that point I was pretty numb to pain….could tolerate high-levels of it! But God did indeed show me that all that panic was a a manifestation of all the pain I had held in for so MANY years. Since then I have allowed God to help me process my pain. It has been so GOOD to do so. It’s a healing that needs to take place so that I can be as healthy as I possibly can. I would encourage others to allow God to walk with them in their pain….scary but oh so “freeing”. God Bless You as you continue to be used by Him for His glory!!

  72. I am an adult survivor of child sexual abuse, satanic ritual abuse, self-harm, an abusive marriage, and just being me. I don’t generally feel the pain, but for most of my life other people have seen it and told me I need to deal with my issues. I didn’t think I had any issues. This piece has meant a lot to me. I confess I’ve not yet been able to read the whole thing because something inside keeps stopping me. It must be good. Thanks for stirring this up. I hate it, but I need to feel this pain.

  73. Great reminder!
    My greatest freedom in Christ has come when I let myself feel the pain and give it to Him, ask him to show me where this came from and truly get to the root. It’s not easy. I would rather stuff the emotions and get on with my day. I never regret when I take the time address it with my savior.
    Thanks for sharing!

  74. Wow. You have so hit the nail on the head. I have felt so emotionally fragile recently. Tired and exhausted and my fibromyalgia that I thought was under control is flaring it’s ugly head up too. You see I have 2 teenagers: one is autistic and 14 and one is a 17 year old boy struggling to grow up without his father in his life for 7 years. I am newly married but have walked into a verbally ad emotionally abusive relationship again…I am beating myself up for that and trying to cope. Plus I work full time. I am in counseling and my husband shows but there is no change. I am feeling as if I have had to stuff so much of the pain that I am growing out-of-control now when I do have the emotions erupt – they really erupt. I read through all these comments and see I am not the only one struggling but knowing I am not helping by being one who needs to start allowing myself to feel more often so I don’t just ‘erupt’.

  75. I have been praying that God would show me more of Him, and today as I was reading Acts, I read about God as a healer (Acts 3 and 4). From there, everything I have encountered this morning during my God time has shown me that God is a healer, including this post. I prayed for other people I know who have requested that I pray for healing for them, but I’m not so good about praying for healing for myself. There are so many things in my past that I need healing from, and I have always tried on my own to move past it, and to make myself feel better and loved in unhealthy ways. I’m learning, especially today, to lean on God more and to trust in Him, and I’m learning that I don’t need to try to heal myself. I’m also learning that all the self-destructive ways in which I’ve tried to overcome the past are useless, and that all I really need is God’s love. I’m so thankful for your post today; it spoke to my heart in ways I didn’t even know I needed.

  76. I feel hurt in my heart. I feel someone I love is annoyed with me but I don’t know how to approach them.

  77. Bonnie, THANK YOU for sharing your experience and perspective.

    Over the years I have peeled back layers of insulation and let God heal so much of the accumulated, abscessing, pain. And truly have moved from depression to joy. Last night my father died, and the yawning chasm sparked by thoughtless, hurtful family members is threatening to swamp me and keep me from his funeral.

    Thanks for the reminder that God always has a reason and use for the pain…for our benefit and His kingdom’s. For the reminders of His promises and hope. I believe I’ll be joining you in this season of pain, and will be praying for us both — and many of the previous commenters. You touched a nerve with this one. Amazing how God uses one person’s pain to help heal another’s. God bless and wishing you a thorough recovery.

  78. PS – I once wrote an article about “The Curse of the Competent Woman.” You just hit another consequences of choosing that role!

  79. It’s difficult to accept that we aren’t really as ‘in control’ as we think. I know God doesn’t deliberately inflict painful times on us, but I do believe he sometimes uses those times to our advantage. I never really understood those people who reflected on a serious illness by saying they wouldn’t trade that time in their lives, because it taught them so much. But I can see how it might be an enforced opportunity to look deeper into our need and turn to him who is the only One who can truly fill it.

  80. Wow, this made me cry because been thinking about this type of stuff and praying all weekend.

  81. Several years ago, I spent the weekend with my daughter, as she dedicated her second child and served a beautiful meal, etc., afterward in her home. I stood with my daughter and with her biological father and step-father and their wives. I stood alone and under such pain that I could hardly bear it. As the day wore on, I told my daughter that I had to leave, so I slipped out quietly and began a 5 hour drive home.

    As I drove, the pain was just crushing and I silently prayed for God’s grace to “kick in.” I finally got home and went to bed. In the middle of the night, God woke me and gave me one word, “Traumatized.” I jumped out of bed and opened my dictionary. I found that trauma can be emotional, not just physical.

    I don’t know whether God was showing me that my reaction at my daughter’s luncheon was the result of the trauma of being with these ex-husbands after their abandonment or the trauma that I had gone through at the time of abandonment. Maybe that part doesn’t even matter. However, God did show me that if someone came into a room with a physical trauma, just as a missing, bleeding limb, we would take that person to a hospital. What about those who walk into a room with emotional trauma? We expect these folks to act normally, but normalcy is impossible. These folks are “bleeding” internally and need a healing Jesus. May God have mercy on those who have emotional trauma. They often don’t act normal and suffer further rejection as a result.

  82. Thank you Bonnie…as I read through this I had to pause and cry from deep within my soul. The past two years has been one long journey of pain and sorrow for me. No one but God knows how I have and am suffering. It is amazing how we as women carry wounds that no one but God sees and understands. I am so grateful for God’s amazing Grace everyday in my life otherwise I would have been dead long ago. It seems when I was younger I hid the pain well…I was carefree, funny, bounced back quickly from hurts/slights/etc. But now that I am 40 the bad memories are all coming back and in even greater detail and clarity. These days I am an emotional wreck and my heart is one large bleeding mass, sometimes barely beating. But I have this deep hope that I will be okay. I am praying and hoping that God will never give up on me even when I feel like giving up. Thanks again for sharing so beautifully…sorry to burden you with my worries. God is wonderful. God bless you and keep as sweet as you are sister.

  83. I was annoyed that I mentioned him again today. But those memories are of MY life too. I can’t ignore them…. like they never happened. That was a long hard spell, those 36 years of unkindness and abuse. I wasn’t able to recognize that I had “needs” exactly, until one day, all of a sudden, I heard these words fall from my lips: “I need you to move out.” I had walked with Jesus for over 25 years, and suddenly came to know Him as my Deliverer. I live a whole new life. I am so in love with my Redeemer, my Deliverer, my Saviour and my God, Jehovah Jireh, My healer, the lover of my soul.

    I so related to your story, and saw exactly where it was going, having been there myself, without a broken foot. Praise the Lord Almighty for His goodness to us, in our broken state He comes, and lifts our heads, and heals our wounds, and Delivers those that are His own. amen. Thank you for letting me share.