I am on a journey.
I am on a journey.
That’s what I’ve been telling myself, as I struggle through a new season of parenting. I have teenage boys. This is a challenge.
I am on a journey, and I’m getting closer to where I’m supposed to be.
The where is actually who — who God created me to be. It’s interesting to me that the challenge of being a mother, of helping our children be the people God created them to be, well it actually affords us the same opportunity.
I have five sons (and one little girl at the tail end!). These children of mine (but I won’t lie, these days it’s mostly the boys) can really give me a run for my money. They are growing and maturing and having those hormone surges that send us all on a wild ride.
“This,” I will somedays tell the Lord, “is not what I thought motherhood would look like.”
Who I thought I would be as a mother involved a lot more twirling and dancing.
The reality of motherhood often looks nothing like that.
Motherhood is certainly magical and beautiful. It’s filled with growth and joy and every good thing. But it’s also a lot of hard work, usually brought on by circumstances we never saw coming.
For me, I never imagined I would have five boys in a row. Motherhood for me involves dealing with a pack of boys, all the time. I didn’t really plan on that.
On the most challenging of days, I will question the Lord’s wisdom. I never doubt his love for me, but I sometimes doubt his attention to detail. Didn’t God notice that I am a weakling, that I am not strong enough to get this job done.
“Didn’t you realize,” I will cry out, “that I don’t have what it takes.”
In these dark moments — maybe they’re moments, maybe they’re longer — I am so focused on the task before me that I lose sight of the big picture. I get so frustrated with this boy and this attitude that I forget it’s all just a step on the journey.
But that’s what I need to remember.
I am on a journey.
I’m training these children, my husband and I are guiding them because while they are exactly who God made them to be, they are not the finished product yet. I get frustrated by the challenges because I see them as my own failures. But they are challenges, and reminders that my work here is not done.
In the end, I have to go back to the Love of God, to his tremendous love for these children of mine. He loves my boys more than I ever could.
And he loves me more than I could ever love myself. He loves me so much that he knew exactly what he was doing when he sent all these boys my way.
He knows that I can rise to this challenge. All I have to do is remember to ask him for help. Because I, too, am not yet finished. Part of the journey I’m on, as I move towards becoming who God wants me to be, is loving my sons in the midst of all these challenges.
God uses circumstances to help us be the person we can be, the person he wants us to be. He loves us just as we are, of course, but he also uses the details of our life to grow in strength and wisdom and holiness.
We are on a journey.
We are on a journey.
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This speaks of my daily struggle to keep believing God had it right when He told me I was meant to be a mom. I have two boys ages 1 and 2 1/2 and the older one is quite the handful! “Didn’t God notice that I am a weakling, that I am not strong enough to get this job done.” I have said this outloud countless times. I’ve continually questioned my ability to raise them to be the men God intended. Thank you for your encouraging words as we travel this journey together.=)
I hear you loud and clear! While we aren’t a family of boys we have a 2 1/2 year old daughter and another due (a son) in just 3 months and it’s a daily struggle believing that God really wanted me to be a mother—-how did 2 VERY short lapses in birth control in our 9years of marriage end up with 2 children while friends/family struggle with infertility?! I often think “God, didn’t you realize there are women out there who relish every moment of it, women who are more patient, more compassionate and much better suited for this role?” All I know is that I’m learning a lot and hopefully being strengthened and sharpened on a daily basis, but it’s hard!
oh raising boys…I have two bookend girls 13 years apart and 3 boys in the middle. There is a multiplying principle that comes with testosterone…each boy added to a situation…the energy multiplies by 100.(wow and you are multiplying by 5) My house had balls bouncing…boys wrestling…humor of the weirdest kind… they had energy and sometimes an edge to that energy…but I must say not the extreme hormone swings of a girl. I love both my sons and daughters…so thankful to have both(I am so glad you got a little one)…each one brings unique challenges…each one teaches us and stretches us in different ways. Yes…this parenting is a long journey…but I can say…He will give you all you need…the wisdom for each son…and you little girl…don’t grow weary in doing good…in due season…in due season…blessings~
I love this post! I don’t doubt God’s love, but sometimes doubt that He knew what He was doing when He gave me the privilege of being a mom. Be blessed 🙂
Love having you share with us today, Rachel. Thanks for the reminder that this motherhood journey is never quite over – always one more, twist, valley, bump or hill to climb 🙂
Tracy Revalee says
Lovely. And quite timely for me. Thanknyou
I hear you sweet sister!! We have 5 kids 7yrs apart and the first 4 are boys. Some days I just wonder what amI doing? am I doing this “right”?how will they be as adults. And some days its so easy. Thanks for your story!
I hear you sweet sister!! We have 5 kids 7yrs apart and the first 4 are boys. Some days I just wonder what amI doing? am I doing this “right”?how will they be as adults. And some days its so easy.
Thanks for your story!
Mindy @ New Equus - A New Creation says
I can sooo relate to this! We have (had) three teenage boys and two teenage girls. It can be extremely challenging. 🙂 Lovely post!
P.S. From one mom to another, I would totally appreciate any suggestions you may have on keeping the boys’ room smelling “nicer” I can’t quite get rid of that locker room smell! LOL
A shameless plug for my daughter. « New Equus – A New Creation says
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Nichole Hall says
Great post on motherhood! I try to remember that women have been having babies and raising kids for hundreds of years, literally. All I can do is read good parenting books, teach my children to have a relationship with the Lord, pray until my knees are raw from carpet burn and have faith. It is much harder than I ever imagined, but with God all things are possible.
Thank you so much for this. I am a mother of only one son (and an older daughter) but he is a few months away from teendom. And because he has always been a mini-me, I am really unaccustomed to these outbursts of frustration and “manliness” and just generally not getting each other. It was comforting to read that I am not the only one struggling with the job I’m doing. I will remember your words when I feel like screaming, “Whyyyyy are we not on the same page anymore?!?!?!” (That was me yelling up at God, not down at my son. 🙂 Thanks again!
What a wonderful article. Parenthood is a wonderful and very important role in a child’s life. We are the tools God gave them to become the people He has them planned to be. Thank you for sharing. I really enjoyed this!
Emily Cook says
Oh dear mother, blessings to you on your journey! I am a mother of many boys too… though they are not teens yet! I have two daughters (9,7) and four boys (6, 4, 3, 1 1/2) … i will soon be where you are,and honestly I just can’t even imagine life with all those teenagers! But you are right it is a journey, and He will give me what I need then just like He gives me what I need now (including grace when I lose it!)
I also needed to read this today. I only have one child — a 13-year-old boy. He wants to act like a teenager — refusing to help around the house, etc. — and yet he still wants to be treated like a young boy who still loves stuffed animals, etc. There are days like today when I pull my hair out and say “why me?!” I’m not ready for the rebellious years and yet I know I don’t have a choice. Thanks for filling me with hope and the reminder that he’s exactly what God intended him to be (which is a good kid 95% of the time!)
Holy Cow, did this hit home. I have 4 kids, 2 of each. My oldest is 13 and lives with his dad in another state. He has gotten himself into some trouble. My heart wrenches for him and I wanna go get on a plane to bring him back to me but He has something else in mind. I am not the most patient person and you can imagine when it comes to my kids it it worse. Thank you for putting it like that. It is easier to digest that He is always working on me and my family.
Katie @ imperfect People says
wow! 6 boys! I will be checking out your blog for sure. Love this post about a journey. So true.
Amy L. Sullivan says
Perfect, perfect picture to go with this post, and that little girl of yours, she is going to be adored by those boys…
Amy Hunt says
Having just one little boy of my own, I feel the so similar–it’s not what I imagined and it’s so hard! The attitudes, the know-it-all perspectives, the push/pull relationship with me…it’s all for such purpose. And the gift is such growth…in me! You’re so right. And I’ve seen it. How He uses all of this to bring me to Him…it’s a beautiful story, indeed.
Rich blessings as He continues to show you His heart as He leads you through parenting, Rachel.