It had been years.
I’ve become so accustomed to emailing and texting and long pre-planned get-togethers on the calendar that the drop-in had become almost obsolete in my life.
Until that day when I was gifted with a drop-in visit.
Last winter I had the biggest deadline of my life. I quarantined myself, wore and slept in the same clothes for days, sent my husband and boys off on multiple three day weekend trips and got to work. I said no more often than a two-year-old and focused on one thing: my deadline. I agreed to no extracurricular activity that needed to be planned in advanced, only listened to music without words, and the dog and I spent way too much time locked up in my bedroom surrounded by empty iced coffee cups.
Then it happened. My doorbell rang. And no one was scheduled to be ringing it.
And in walked an angel and a miniature angel in the form of my friend Maria and her one-year-old adorable baby boy. They came up into the underbelly of my project – my filthy room surrounded by wrappers and imaginary crumpled up papers and stagnant air. And the baby played on the ground and smiled and flirted with me, and Maria sat on my bed and told me stories and asked me questions.
It was glorious.
It was just what I needed.
You know how when people are in the hospital and therapy animals come visit them and it actually helps? I felt like I had just had emergency friend and baby therapy. There was something about the no expectations, drop-in visit that was pure joy for me. She knew I might not be there, she knew I would be knee deep in my own mess, and that didn’t matter to her.
After Maria’s drop-in and the unexpected joy I felt from her visit, I made it a point to drop in on someone else – and and the timing of that drop-in was surprising, needed, and something the old, pre-Maria’s-drop-in me wouldn’t have felt comfortable doing.
Last month after we closed on our house, we missed a surprise drop-in and still, the very thought that Donna and Hannah drove almost an hour to surprise us almost brings me to tears. We weren’t home, the back door was locked, and the dog door that leads to our back porch was open. Donna even made a video of Hannah crawling through the dog door so they could safely leave gifts of bread, a bottle of wine and flowers out of reach of the critters.
The drop-in is surprising.
The drop-in is risky.
The drop-in is lovely.
Let’s not let the drop-in become extinct.
When’s the last time you were the drop-inee or drop-iner? Was it worth it?Leave a Comment
I love drop ins too! I agree they are becoming extinct and this saddens me. In seminary there happened to be another couple that lived in the same complex as us and the wife and LeEtta would drop in on each other all the time to share a cup tea or coffee and chat. It could be eight at night or 10 on a Saturday. We would often wear our pjs. In fact it became a tradition that we would all watch the thanksgiving day parade together in pjs and drink coffee and eat breakfast. Needless to say she is a very dear friend thanks to the drop ins. The drop in is also something very regular for military families when they live on the base or post. It was crucial for me as a young wife experiencing my first deployment. I would never have made it without Michelle and her drop ins or my ability to walk across the way and drop in on her lovely family. It’s one of the things I miss most about not living on base. Great post and a good reminder to encourage others to feel free to drop in on me. 🙂
Bev Duncan @ Walking Well With God says
Oh how true…with all our technology we have really become a disconnected society. Nothing beats face to face, feel the warmth of a hug, connection. My friend, Claire, who has been doing the calligraphy on my wedding invitations, dropped in yesterday when I was knee deep in doing bills and online tasks. She had my beautifully written invitations in a pretty gift wrap and a warm smile on her face. What a breath of fresh air!! Your words and my friend’s drop-in visit have convicted me to drop in on someone who has been in my thoughts. Thanks for a wonderful post!
kris scorza-sobieski says
as a missionary kid, my life was nothing but drop ins and i often grieve the lack of this living in america now.
it seems people are hesitant to even come through the front door when picking up their kids because we are always rushing to the next. or in a world of perfect images online, the palpable wall of people’s self-consciousness at their own imperfectly kept homes often stops me from even trying.
but this reminds me that in this way, the ends justify the means. because the drop in leaves us refreshed and renewed and reconnected! so i’m going to not give up. xo
I am not sure if I feel the same way…I ask my friends to send me a “broom and bra” text if they are coming so I can sweep and make sure I am at least sort of dressed.
The Nester says
that’s a great idea!
oh man, having been caught bra-less once or twice, this is just another reminder to get FULLY dressed each and every morning…and then a drop-in is really is a wonderful thing! (dropped in just today on a boy with a broken bone in our neighborhood…it was awesome). 😀
I have a medical port, so wearing a bra is pretty uncomfortable for me. But I’m glad you are able to enjoy it.
prayers for you <3
This makes me think of this hilarious picture from the Crappy Pictures lady:
http://crappypictures.com/images/2013/03/crappy-dog-12.gif This is sometimes an issue at my house! ;-D
I love that…thank you for sharing it
Kathy Cheek @ In Quiet Places says
The closest thing I have had to a drop in is the neighbor kids came over to ask for an egg to bake a cake for their mom while she was gone, and they were short one egg. I think they had knocked on three other doors and no one was home, I was so glad I had eggs in the house.
And it does make me sad that we are not a drop in people any more.
I did drop over to a new neighbor just moving in down the street a few weeks ago and introduced myself and I will admit, the distance from my front porch to hers felt like forever as I wondered how meeting her would go, and it went great! We just have to do it.
Diana Foree says
I think we all worry about how the house looks, do I have anything to serve them. We forget they’re not there to see the dust. They came to see us. Thanks for this gentle reminder how important drop-in visits are. I hope I get a few more.
You are so right. It is almost unheard of now. I have to schedule everything with friends, even my other SAHM friends. You’d think it would be simpler. I need that face-to-face friendship time to refuel. And it is SO hard to get. I’m afraid honestly to drop in on someone. It’s not always appreciated, at least at first. Thank you for the sweet reminder. Maybe I will be doing a few drop-ins next week 🙂
Christy Fitzwater says
As a pastor’s wife, I was just pondering this. Is it possible for us to just pop in on people? There’s almost a mindset developing that to drop in on someone is rude. But I love it when our friends drop by unannounced! I’m going to talk to my husband about this… THANKS!!!!!!!!!!
I grew up in the South, and we used to always drop-in on family and friends. We’d even use the back door, and holler “knock knock” as we walked right on in their house.
I miss those days, those times. This world we live in now is much more complicated, and while we’re open online and we let all these strangers into our lives in this virtual space, we lock all our doors and shut the real-life people out.
It’s weird. And yet, I’m right in the thick of it, with my locked doors, and screened phone calls and I’m-too-busy-to-make-plans excuses….
Sidnie how true that is that we are always “open for business” and socializing online, but that we are really so protective of our last bastion of personal space; the home. Which is really where the heart is. We are not letting people into our hearts when we hide out in our homes.
awww 🙂 Thanks for sharing! Thank God for the blessing of friendship 🙂
Joanne Peterson says
Oh, it has been so long since I dropped in or had someone drop in on me! I have liked it, but I also became very self-conscious of the mess. Right now my whole house looks like a cyclone hit it. But, I used to love having people come over. Perhaps I need to change my mindset?
Nancy Ruegg says
Back in the late 70s and early 80s, my husband was pastoring his first church. The parsonage was next to the church parking lot. Drop-ins were quite frequent, and the kitchen table became a place of sharing, laughing, crying, and praying. Over the years, that comfortable friendliness has slipped away. I agree with other commenters above: we don’t want to embarrass anyone by turning up unannounced, or be the hostess with no make-up, uncoiffed hair, and a messy house. The idea SSM presents is perfect. Make a phone call first, and give the friend a “broom and bra” warning. Let’s resurrect the drop-in visit!
Brittany Rae says
Oh the drop in. Drop-ins are my least favorite thing in the world. And my aunts. But one day last week she dropped in on my mother. (Side note my mother, sister and I all live on the same block. Different streets and avenues but the same block) Funny that I got the urge to go see mom. When I did I saw my mom, aunt. and even my sister dropped by. The first thing my aunt said was I hate just dropping by but I got all three of you today.
I guess they are not so bad.
Leigh Kramer says
When I first moved here three years ago, my best friend gave me a key to her house and said their house was mine and I should feel free to drop by whenever. And so I have. My home away from home. Sometimes I end up staying for dinner, sometimes my niece-in-love is watching a cartoon or building a tower, sometimes my best friend is in the middle of cleaning the floor. And sometimes they drop by my house with a bagel or a story about a soccer game. I love the freedom we’ve given each other. I used to drop by both sets of grandparents’ houses all the time and I’ve wanted to extend that same courtesy to any visitor that drops by mine.
Jenn @ A Simple Haven says
I love the house key thing! In college, I had a friend who’d lost track of how many keys she’d given away. 🙂 I’m not sure I’ll take it that far, but it was a great example of open-handed hospitality for me.
Mark G. Worster says
Because I live so far away from everyone, no one simply drops in. The good news is that we can live in a sty, but the bad news is that we then live in a sty and have to do a bunch of cleaning when we have guests. I’m working on figuring out a way so that we can have a set cleaning schedule or something…
Tricia @ The Domestic Fringe says
Ok, so I think I live in this little corner of the world that has basically stopped moving forward, because I get drop-ins all the time. It’s not a no-no yet around here. I like that.
Sarah @ An Inviting Home says
I love this post…absolutely love it.
Rick S says
I bet you brought a smile to many people today who remember the last time they got a drop in guest. We may dread someone on the other side of the door with the way we “really” live inside. If someone drops in they probably just want to see us not catch us with a messy house. we need to let it go. Life is too short to miss the important people. We need to show our kids how special drop in company is to keep it going.
I’ve had a little drop-in aversion I’ve been working through for the last couple of years. We live on a busy road that leads to our school and know that God dropped us here for a reason.
As a result, I’ve been a better drop-in receiver, but never even considered going on the offensive. I’ve got my first mission in mind. Love it!!!
The Nester says
“going on the offensive” love that!!
I just was just dropped in on yesterday, and it was joy. Pure light and refreshing joy. Even though my lunch sat untouched for an hour and my list for the day got all wacky and undone. But I think the beauty of it is that God has in his always amazing ways allowed everything to get done. The work I needed to tend to got done later. And an appointment went much shorter later than day and allowed me to do some other things that needed attention.
The point is, God knew I needed the drop in and he worked it all out.
I want to be better at walking in perfect trust that lets God ordain drop ins, and to stretch myself to be better at being the dropper-inner.
My boys and I dropped in on my sister-in-law back in June. We hadn’t seen each other since Christmastime. We were on her side of town, coming home from somewhere and I turned down her street on a whim. Even though a huge part of me was nervous to just show up, the happy look on her face when she saw my boys let me know it was a good decision.
I love that my next door neighbor drops in. It’s made me loosen up and relax. When we first met, she said, regarding the state of our homes, “Please, if we’re anything to each other – let’s just be REAL.”
Preppy Pink Crocodile says
Oh wow- I feel strongly the opposite about drop ins. My entire family loves to drop in. And if they come by and you aren’t there because you don’t have psychic powers, they tell you about it. I honestly think it’s so rude.
That said, I’m so glad your drop in made your day.
KK @ Preppy Pink Crocodilep
The Nester says
I think it depends on the motives and quantity of drop ins. If it’s overdone, I’m sure it can become intrusive!
Lisa-Jo @lisajobaker says
Is it strange that this makes me want to cry? I grew up on a country and a culture of drop-ins. I miss that. And love that it doesn’t have to go out of style if we don’t let it.
Jacque Watkins says
Now wouldn’t that just be the sweetest thing, that someone would feel comfortable enough and unafraid and love me enough to just “drop-in”… And in turn may I become the bold lover of another heart to not care what they’d think, and just show my all out love for them by just “dropping-in”…hmmm…I’m gonna ponder who that should be. Loved your words to me today, sweet writer whose name rhymes with mine.. 🙂
The Nester says
yes, Maria is one of my “inner circle” friends–is that what you would call them? One of my closest, dearest, seen me in every situation friends, I think that makes a big difference! I’ve only got about 5 of them in town and they know who they are!
Jenn @ A Simple Haven says
I love love love this! I was a chronic drop-iner for while, but then wondered if maybe my neighbor didn’t consider my kids therapy kids after all. 🙂
My life now is sounds a bit like yours during that season–pretty scheduled with not much margin. Your post made me realize that I don’t want to be so scheduled that there’s no room for the unexpected blessing of dropping in or being dropped in on.
I love dropping visits. You don’t have to clean the house to get ready for them. I use to drop in on people all the time it do it anymore. Not sure why. Maybe I’ll drop in on you one day!
Darn autocorrect… I meant “drop in” visits!
I loooooove this. I am SO not the girl to initiate a drop in. However, just the other day, I was feeling bold after reading Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly and I decided to take my little girls and walk to my neighbor’s house to see if they could come out and play. Up until this point, all of our play dates had been scheduled, and so it made me feel really vulnerable to just show up at their door.
The family was busy cooking dinner and they weren’t able to come out and play. And although I was a bit disappointed and embarrassed (because in my head I was totally judging myself! And I was so worried that they were judging me. I was worried it seemed inconsiderate to just stop by. I could go on and on), but honestly I was fine. It was fine. I overcame my fear and really, the worst had happened. They couldn’t hang out.
The next day I realized how ridiculous my fear was in the first place when they returned the favor by dropping by to play!
The Nester says
I think that’s a great story. And good reminder, just because someone drops in, we have the right (and owe it to them as friends) to tell them if it’s a bad time. I certainly wouldn’t want someone to pretend like it’s good timing if I dropped in. I LOVE that she returned the favor!
A dear friend lives just around the corner, walking distance close, and one day we did the drop in and stayed and talked for an hour. It was so refreshing and fun! I do wish it was more common for me, when I think of it sometimes I feel like I’m going to bother them and their plans for the day. I haven’t received a drop in lately but would love it!
Ruth in NZ says
Many years ago a friend had this saying on her wall: “If you want to see my house…call and make an appointment…If you want to see me..drop in any time!” I loved it and have remembered it and used it many times since.
The Nester says
love that quote!
Your post has inspired me to start a new habit in my day:
when the kids are off to school, when i’m dressed for the day and the dishes and floors are done, i’ll update my google and facebook status to “free for company 10-2p” and just go about my day. if my friends want to drop in, i’ll welcome them warmly, fire up the keurig and dig up a cookie somewhere and never-mind the mess or imperfect. it’s just as you say, friends don’t care about that. i’m tired of scheduling-scheduling. right now my children are young and we have a lot of give in our routines. let’s take it easy.
Jasi – I love this idea. Giving yourself enough time to reduce the stress factor, so when friends come you can relax and enjoy the time together.
The Nester says
I LOVE that!!
Love love love this idea… as an introvert, I need some structure and down time, so the thought of someone dropping in one me when I know I have a busy afternoon or needed some recharge time stresses me out. On the other hand, this shows deliberate hospitality.
Know your prospective “victim” — if they are an extrovert (recharged by being around people), go for it. If they are an introvert (not necessarily shy, but recharge by being alone), by all means, give a “broom and bra” call so they can come up with an excuse if need be.
A few ideas though that might come to mind:
-Drop in on someone in nice weather and offer to go for a walk. You can still have a visit, but they don’t feel obligated to invite you into their house.
-Drop by with something — a cup of coffee, a box of cookies. Insist you can’t come in (unless they insist that you do), so you get a brief visit, without the obligation of time if they can’t spare it right then.
-Drop in and invite them somewhere. “Hi, there… I was heading to the coffee shop up the street and I just wanted to know if you wanted to join me.” They can if they wish, and don’t have to worry about inviting you in if their place isn’t up to snuff, and can then leave upon their schedule allowing, rather than pushing you out the door. Or, they can offer instead to have coffee in their home if they want.
I think this begs the question…….Do you consider your house a home where Jesus teaches us to serve and offer hospitality or a pitstop where we just dump our things and shower? Thanks, thanks, thanks! As a southern girl, I’m in tears for what use to be!
One of my dearest friends dropped in on me yesterday. It was a miserable-sick-on-the-couch day, and I was in stringy unwashed hair and baggy yoga pants (yes, they get baggy when they get old and are super-ugly, but oh-so comfy). My living room is strewn with unpacked luggage from the recent vacation where I got sick. She brought me a package of her favorite tea and a new teacup. So worth it. Totally made my day. I am so happy that she had the courage to stop by.
LOVE this <3
you were my last drop-in, I believe. With Karrie and Caroline and Ellen. On moving day – the messiest of messy days and you all were such a beautiful and sweet part of a hectic and sweaty day. I will NEVER forget that. You all made me feel so loved.
The Nester says
permission granted to always drop in on us, Reeve!
It never occured to me that someone would like drop ins, because I hate them! Give me an hour or two notice please….
I totally agree with Chris here, I don’t want to be completely caught off guard by the doorbell, but I do like visitors. I don’t mind if my girlfriend calls when she’s leaving work and says “hey, what are you doing right now?” that way I can do a quick tidy-up & have clothes on, or tell her if I’m not even home yet.
I don’t have any family close by so I never really experienced drop-ins growing up & my parents are 45 mins away from me now or else they would definitely drop-in. My boyfriend’s mom will pop in here & there which used to drive me nuts if the house was a mess, but now I don’t even stress about it & we just relax on the couch & listen to whatever she wants to get off her chest.
I just dropped in today at three different friends homes. I think it was just fine. The last friend had been having a rough day and she said it was just what she needed. I love the drop in! I encourage people to drop in anytime but since we live out of town a bit I think it is hard but I will keep dropping in and hopefully others will do it too. I think it helps to leave yourself some margin in your life, something I know you have talked about before. We cut some of our extra curricular activities so we could have more margin and more time for drop ins or last minute invites.
Beth Williams says
In this crazy hectic, social media world we live in face to face conversations are becoming a thing of the past. Such a shame. There were times when people would sit on their front porch and talk to neighbors.
If you see a neighbor moving out or in–don’t be afraid to drop in and offer some help or a little meal to ease their day. I had a wonderful experience in college. I was living out of state in an apartment. My neighbors down the hill decided to have their daughter drop in on me and bring me dinner and dessert the first night alone. It was welcomed. From then on we became fast friends.
I myself have always been stressed out by even the thought of someone dropping in unannounced. Let me explain why. I grew up in a home where everything had to be P-E-R-F-E-C-T when company was coming over. I did not grow up knowing the true art of hospitality(that its not about me at all; its about opening my home to anyone). Ive had to teach myself that new concept in the 12 years that Ive been married and had my own home.
Just the other day, I hadnt gotten out of my pajamas because it was a dedicated “get stuff done” day before my oral surgery that was coming up. But one of my dearest friends in the world showed up at the front door after having just driven by to see if I was home.
Initially the sight of her pulling up gave my heart palpitations-Im not totally reformed yet. 🙂 But Ive also figured out that if I can have a few things done around my house-dishes at least loaded into the dishwasher, clean toilets and a sweeped kitchen floor, and my teeth brushed, Im much more relaxed if someone shows up. And not feeling that constant embarrassment which really just translates back to “this is all about me and how Im feeling right now.”
The Nester says
this is so good.
I think a follow up post is in order!
Janice Johnston says
Be Blessed today! I am blessed by thinking of someone who could use visit, even an unexpected, a note of cheer, a helping hand or just a listening ear. Yes, Please do drop in!
I think that I will have a conversation with some of my friends about our attitudes toward drop-ins. I will tell them that I would love to have them drop in anytime and find out how they feel. Then if there’s somebody who hates to be dropped in on, I’ll know, and the others I will know that I don’t have to be nervous about it.
I brought this up at our knitting group today and most of them like to be dropped in on. A number of them are widows and are lonely.
I brought this up at our knitting group today and many of them said that they like drop-ins. Several of them are widows and are lonely.
Unscheduled knocks at my front door leave my heart dropping into my stomach and my first instinct is to drop to the floor, crawl to the nearest window, and peek out the blinds. And to make no sudden movements. Usually, the knock is harmless and involves young boys wanting to cut the lawn, folks bearing the latest WatchTower, or surprise visits from my ex-husband’s mother. But I get nervous and scared… how did we become this way? And I always feel foolish afterwards when it was a harmless interaction. Maybe we should be doing this more often, dropping in on each other!!
Oh my, yes!!! I have actually yelled to my kids “Stay away from the windows!!!!!” so no one knows we are home (that was during a particularly messy house day 😉 I definitely would love the drop in if my house were actually clean at any point during the day, but it’s not– and I know that this is just a season but it definitely feels like I’m missing out on something good. I guess I’ll just have to swallow my pride and open the door to let the goodness in 🙂
I remember when I growing up, people would just drop in on my mom. That kind of thing doesn’t happen any more. It’s as though we’ve all become too busy with our own lives and we assume other people are too busy too, so it just doesn’t happen. It’s a shame, though, because I remember Mom really liked those drop in’s. It’s something we definitely should not allow to become extinct.
I not a fan of drop-ins. I don’t want to be trapped like a rat by someone who has gotten themselves all fixed up, while I’m at my worst doing my chores. No thanks. Call ahead, please, and give me the courtesy of advanced warning.
The Nester says
I can’t imagine ever feeling trapped like a rat by my friends.
There’s no rule that says you have to open the door if it’s someone you feel has questionable motives about stopping in then just don’t answer! xo
This was so touching to me. It just made me tear up. I don’t know why exactly. Thank you for posting it.
Years ago my wonderful friend Pam lived close. We were both SAHM’s. I would go to her house with the kids and we would sit fold clothes. I always felt so very special that she would let me help her with such an intimate chore. I don’t remember anything about her or her familie’s skivvies or if her house was clean or dirty, what we ate or how the kids behaved. What I do remember is someone who listened and loved me. I only hope that she felt the same from me.
My mom was the ultimate lover of drop ins. It was nothing to get knocks at the door in the wee hours of the morning from a family of 7 that would be driving thru Florida and need a place to crash. We kids were displaced from beds and would take places on the floor with the 5 boys while the mom and dad got some sleep in our beds. Some people would drop in and stay for months…
Drop ins are not often practiced in our society and it is sad. We are too independent. Maybe if we needed our neighbors or our neighbors needed us it might be different. A little interdependence is a good thing. It gives us the opportunity to love on someone!
I LOVE the drop-in! The policy at our home has always been, “knock and walk”. If the curtains are open, the door unlocked, you are always welcome!. I will admit that I’m better at receiving them than doing them, though. I know that people can be awkward about uninvited guests. But then I think about my mom who would never (in contrast to my dad who would always) just pop in. It made me sad that she simply could not just stop by, even though she was encouraged over and over and over again. I get it, but I don’t want to do it. I want to think that any prompting I may have to pop by and drop-in is driven by the Spirit and has purpose. So, as I write this, I will purposely listen for the Spirit and where He leads for my next pop by/drop-in!
This reminds me of a story my dad just told me. He said when he was a kid, they’d finish supper and say, “Who should we go visit tonight?” And then they’d just show up and have a great time! I asked, “Did people ever do that back to you?” And he said, “No, not very often.” So maybe it takes a certain type of personality to be ok with dropping in (and a certain type to be ok with having folks drop in!) It might be somewhat an introvert/extrovert thing too, perhaps?
I have always felt like it’s a vicious cycle–if drop-ins were common, I know I’d take more time to do some little things every day (breakfast dishes in the dishwasher, trash taken out, etc.). But since they’re not, I get in the habit of not doing those things and I would feel embarrassed if someone did come by.
I do definitely wish we as a society were better about visiting in each other’s homes and being comfortable with that. 🙂
I think introverts are less likely to appreciate drop ins. There’s no right or wrong here, in my opinion. It’s a matter of personality. I don’t generally appreciate drop ins, but if a friend calls and asks if it’s a good time to come by, I usually say yes! I just like being a little bit prepared. But that’s just me.
This post struck a nerve….I love it when dear friends drop-in and they all know it and come by frequently, if it is not a good time or if I am getting ready to leave, no problem. But…….There are people who love to pop in and they stay and stay and do not take subtle hints or even not so subtle hints to leave. They bring their charming children and let them run wild…..or they come at awkward times, maybe right after a heated argument with spouse or child, or come to see the new baby when you are exhausted and just want to sleep….surely some of you have experienced this???We must be aware that sometimes dropping in may not be wonderful. We do need the face to face contact that we seem to be missing, but also must be sensitive to others and be aware of the timing of our “drop-ins”
p.s. I LOVE your blog!!!!
OH, yes. We are a drop-in family, for sure. We are farmers and live on the same property as my parents, who open the door and yell “yoo-hoo” (Mom) or just help themselves to a cup of tea and a cookie (Dad, if the school bus is imminent, the only way Mom lets him have cookies). On a Sunday as a kid, we always “went visiting”. I have actually transgressed before, assuming everyone loves the drop-in as well as I do. Seriously, I am only 46 years old and don’t live in Mayberry, but near San Francisco. Still. I. love. it. And we just don’t experience it all that often anymore. Phones have ruined everything — and Pinterest, much as I love it. It’s really OK for your home to look like it is inhabited by squirrels as long as the hospitality is sincere, but no one believes that anymore.
I’m a Tennessee girl, transplanted in California. There are many differences I noticed when we moved here, the lack of drop-ins being one of them. It’s how I grew up, before cell phones, with people driving by and stopping to say hello. We lived on a busy street, one you passed through on your way to lots of places. I’ve told all my friends here about the drop-in and encouraged them to do so. We just moved to a new house on a busier street, so I’m hoping the drop-ins become a regular part of our lives.
Susan Harkema says
It’s is SO foreign to me butmI want to understand it. I was raised in a home where people didn’t visit…maybe four times in 20 years! People didn’t care for my father so my mother didn’t benefit from the drop in. Then, my dad would drop in on others who wouldn’t normally expect us to and it made my mother and me very ve uncomfortable because he would make us stay far past the non existent invitation. So, needless to say the drop in is something I was used to, could do and could receive. I don’t like social spontaneity. But as a Christian in my first church family as an adult, I am growing in this area. When I deliver a meal to a family I don’t know, even though I called ahead, I am quite uncomfortable.
I really don’t care for drop ins for numerous reasons….sometimes I’m not feeling well, sometimes I’m having a lazy day in my PJs, some days my house is a disaster, or I feel like being alone, or I’ve just had a difficult conversation with my husband. I love seeing my friends, and can usually get together on the same day, but want a little notice.
Please, before dropping in, show some curtesy for the other person and see if it’s a good time.
Kris Wood says
My two cents? I really prefer to skip *all* forms of drop ins. I love the moments of undivided attention I can give to friends/family who respond to invitations for a cuppa. It doesn’t have to be fancy, but it’s so great to simply focus on them and not on the chores or errands or other things that are always going. I feel… “divided”, or something…and I don’t feel lke I can be fully present for the person. I wonder if it has more to do with personality types…with planners and spontaneous people. :0)
On the other hand, my hubby grew up with lots of family nearby and drop-ins were a near-daily occurrence. It was hard for him when we lived 750 miles from his home state and people rarely dropped by. I’ve learned a lot from him about short visits, just to say hi. I still don’t like them, but am learning to reach out in ways that others prefer. Good to know we can keep learning about hospitality…in all it’s forms. 🙂
God’s timing is perfect.. Couldn’t have said it better ladies. I found myself tearing up too because it’s been something I think about daily. How lonely we’re all becoming. I won’t waste time anymore wishing I were from the 1940’s when drop-ins were commonplace. I will create it for myself. God bless all of you and may you be surrounded with friends!
I love drop-ins and I love dropping-in! When I am home, I leave my garage door open or park my car in the driveway so people know I’m there and I always make sure people know I love people stopping by. We are all busy people nowadays but the spontaneity and pause that a drop-in brings is really what we need to put life in perspective.
I love drop in visits! I always say, if you come to see me, come anytime! If you want to see a perfect home, make an appointment! I often have people over, and if I have to change a load out or fold it on thee couch while we chat, I do. My friends understand and if I am at their house, I’m helping fold their clothes. It’s what we are supposed to do. Life is not meant to be lived in isolation.
I love this! I actually had a sign made once that said, “Drop ins welcome”. It was the wording from a hair dresser, but I thought, “I need that at my house!” Thanks so much for sharing. Our world would be more pleasant with more drop ins. 🙂
Kristy Byers says
I have a friend who she and her two teenager daughters do “drive-by giftings”. It started by accident one day. They were in a hurry and couldn’t stop to chat, so they just put the stuff outside the door, knocked and ran off. It has become the teenagers favorite thing to do.
This past Friday, I was grungy, dirty and had been cleaning my house. I was in desperate need of a shower and a “fix up”. Then it happened. A knock at my door. I was still in my PJ’s so looked out the peep whole to see no one. I look at the window and again, no one or nothing. It begin to bother me a bit until it hit me. “I’ve been the victim of a “drive-by gifting”. So I put on my robe, opened the door a little wider and there it was, my gift. A big orange pumpkin and a beautiful fall mum. Two of my favorite things.
I travel a lot and my house is always in need of repair. This family has seen me at my worse, they are welcome in my home no matter what shape it is in. But I love that they love me enough to do a “drive-by” from time to time. Every now and then, they knock and come in. I love it when they do that too.
I really needed to read this. My instinct is to struggle hard against anything that doesn’t fit into the neat little boxes I create (having 2 kiddos under 3 blasts this apart on a minute-by-minute basis…God has worn this sharp edge down quite a bit for me!) so my gut reacts to drop-ins like some have said here – get away from the windows! But at the same time I love to have people in my home by my invitation, on my terms, within my schedule. It’s good for me to recognize that hospitality that fits into my boxes is not the only hospitality, and that my home and my time are tools to be used by God for his glory…scheduled or not 🙂
I have been thinking about this a lot lately…I wish people would, even in my “trashed” house…I also wish I didn’t feel so guilty just showing up at a neighbors house…