I’ve been blessed in the area of broken bones and large puncture wounds. What I mean is, I haven’t broken anything but my pinky toe, and I’ve never required stitches. I sprained my ankle once, I’ve had shin splints and I gave birth five times. So, I know what it feels like to wait on your body to heal, and not be able to speed anything up.
In fact, I’ve heard that a sprained ankle can take longer than a broken ankle to heal, depending on the injury, so it makes sense why I have such a distinct memory of being about 13 or so and feeling like I would never walk again. The healing took so very long, I often thought perhaps it wasn’t healing at all. Any small improvement that I made disappeared inside that worry-lens that I looked through. I couldn’t see any good that had happened because I completely focused on what I still couldn’t do.
I often look at how God made our physical bodies and ponder the metaphor that we humans are. We are in His image, we are a reflection of the One who created us, as well as a reflection of Creation itself. Every wild and crazy physiological thing I learn about the human body and how each part functions astounds me because I know there is some beautiful way that the natural is symbolic of the supernatural.
So it is with waiting on a physical injury to heal. The way we heal slowly, from the inside out. The deeper the gash in my arm, the longer until I will no longer feel pain. Even longer until I will no longer notice the scar. Our skin layers heal inside first, the outside being the very last thing to heal. Isn’t that exactly how our soul heals, too?
Even now, I am in a season of healing long-standing brokenness in my life and in my heart. Just like I remember feeling that ankle sprain take forever, and often seem like it wasn’t healing at all, I keep stepping back into impatience. I want to feel all better now, God, why is it so slow?
I have that lens on, the one that makes me see everything in a scarcity way. The one that makes me view life as everything I do not have. I do not have a history of healing. I have a history of pain. Healing happens eventually, but so slow you can’t even tell. But really, none of that is true at all. Those are the lies of that incorrect lens.
Our healing is sometimes like the turning of the earth. We always know it’s happening – night comes, the sunrise comes again. God is knitting together each layer of healing, slowly, slower even than I would like. But I can look back and see how many days and nights have passed already. I’m always bending towards healing.
If you find yourself in a season of healing, but not quite sure what is taking so long — this is for you. I feel like it could be talked about a little bit more – that the healing sometimes takes a while. Sometimes God swoops in and instantly, miraculously fixes a situation. Sometimes God quietly and miraculously and eventually fixes a situation. None is less a miracle. None is accidental.
I can wait on you, Lord. Give me your lens, that I might be steadfast in healing. Give me the freedom to exist wholly in this place, with the wound healed a little, but not all the way. Let me rejoice in each layer of healing. Let me rejoice.
***
By Arianne Segerman, of Mabel + Riv
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Arianne,
It is so easy to focus on having “a history of pain” vs. having “a history of healing”. When I get too focused on the pain, I need to call upon the Lord to adjust my lens and when the lens is adjusted, then I am better able to rejoice in each layer of healing. Psalm 23 is a beautiful reminder that God will not leave us stuck in our pain, but that He will bring us through the pain so that in our healing He will be glorified. Thank you for a beautiful reminder that I needed this morning!
Blessings,
Bev
We can always, always return to Psalm 23 and relate, can’t we? Thank you for this, Bev.
Thanks for this! I really needed it. Fending off discouragement from a slow healing in my life. Love the lens metaphor!
Standing next to you fending it off with you too! xoxo
God used you to bless me today with these words. Thank you!
I’m honored, Lucy. Thank you.
“Even now, I am in a season of healing long-standing brokenness in my life and in my heart.”
Yep! I wrangled all weekend with the purpose of decades of healing and was assured this morning that my job is only to say “you give and take away, blessed be your name.” Your post was further affirmation of that truth. Thank you!
It’s so in our nature to want to know the purpose, isn’t it? That elusive “why” has tormented me at times. It’s so good to be reminded that we need only praise His name.
I so felt your words! Last night I thought if I could go back 20 years ..if only would
healing not taken so long? God has stepped in or swooped in a healed in those lenses I am do blessed, yet I’m still impatient. Im trusting your message and yes, we need to lean in a talk more about
Healing. Progress is so important to visualize and move forward! Thank you for bringing up the subject, it’s one I needed this early morning.
Thank you for that confirmation, Mae! Hugs. xoxo
I waited 3yrs to get into nursing school, then delayed it another 3 months as I spent time with my mom in hospice and eventually lost her. My third week of school (2 days before my 43rd birthday)….I dislocated my kneecap in class. It’s been 6wks now, and I’m starting physical therapy today. I’m back on a waiting list to retake the class I couldn’t complete by standing on one leg. I’ve never broken a bone or had a cavity…just sprained an ankle once. I’m amazed by how long it has taken my kneecap to heal….though I wonder if all the tears I cried on my birthday, 2 days after my injury, were for the loss of my ability to continue in nursing school….or for the hole in my heart left by the loss of my mom. Your blog really spoke to me today as I start PT for my body….and at the same time work towards healing my soul. Thank you for sharing!
Oh Jen, that is all so much in a short amount of time. I do think that when we access our emotions sometimes we are surprised that deeper things are tapped as well. It can be a good thing to get a deeper cry out. I am praying for you today. xoxo
Thank you! I was blessed with an awesome physical therapist and was notified yesterday that as long as my body is healed and strong enough to do the clinicals, I can return to nursing school to retake that class Jan 13. Answered prayers!
I was so excited and motivate to get physically stronger…..but then I started coming across a consistent message in things I was reading that it is important to forgive to heal the anger and bitterness in your soul……then my dad announced that he is coming to visit this weekend. I’ve seen him only a handful of times in the past decade, including my mom’s funeral in April. Hmmm…..maybe I need to spend the next 2mths not only healing and strengthening my body but also my soul. Grieving my mom is obviously only a part of what needs to be healed….. Thanks for sharing your love and prayers via your blog!
Jen,
So so sorry for the loss of your mom. May God bless you and your family. I pray He swoops down and covers you with His loving, healing wings.
If nursing school is to be God will make a way for you to continue and He will help you succeed. God bless you as you travel this long, road of recovery and healing.
Beth Williams
Thank you, Beth! Blessings to you!
I appreciate your thoughts and wisdom. But there is so much More to say…what happens when the healing does not come? What about those who live in constant pain, either spiritual, emotional or physical? My family and I have tasted the pain of cancer, suicide, the death of my husband, the 3 surgeries of my teenaged son. Sometimes healing comes. Sometime it does not come on this earth and we have to Learn that it is okay. God is still God. God is still Good whether I feel it or not, whether I EVER SEE healing. The healing speed or type does Not change either Who God is or What He is like. Faith is not faith until you have No earthly reason to believe in God’s Goodness. Then, and maybe Only then, Faith is real. Faith believes in the eternal good. Faith realizes the Boundless blessings all around and Sings in the night. The psalmist speaks of the Sacrifice of praise, the willful changing of the sight lens to eternity and soul singing while we cry. That is Faith. May God grant us His viewpoint on our trials.
I left a different long comment here, but I just deleted it because all I really want to say is this: I hear you Lizzie. I know what you mean and I understand. I do not know the exact path you have walked, but I have known my own deeply painful path and I have come to the same end – finding that true faith. Knowing it’s real because of the pain, not because of the healing. Blessings to you today. xoxo
Thank you. I reread my reply and it sounded snarky. I’m sorry for that. Some of my healing evidently needs to be in the area of compassion! The truth is that Pain is still Pain and God works in all of us different ways. Our crosses come in many different ways, but Thank God He still works and polishes/refines. Thank you for sharing…and for your kindness.
Oh Lizzie, I didn’t think it was snarky at all. I heard your heart. The comment I deleted was just talking about these topics more, fleshing it out — but I realized I just wanted you to know I was listening. xoxo (and thank you for your grace)
Thanks for putting into words the journey of healing. I love Bev Duncan’s “history of healing” comment. For the last three years I have been on an intense healing journey with the Lord. During that time, He set me free from several psychiatric diagnoses. But, most importantly, I have developed a deep, real and living relationship with my Lord that it is better than anything I could have ever dreamed of! Psalm 84:5-7 says(summary):Blessed is the man whose heart is set on the pilgrimage(journey). We go through the valley of tears, but we get stronger as we go through trusting the Lord. Without going through the valley, I would not have the relationship I have with the Lord today! It was difficult and I have not arrived (I still struggle with fear & I have an unresolved back pain issue), but I continue to press onwards in my relationship with Him knowing that He has provided in the past & will continue to do so.
Yes Heather! I love your story. Pressing onwards with you… xoxo
True and beautifully written.
Thank you Shara!
You have no idea what perfect timing this was to have your post land in my inbox. I almost laughed out loud because of how amazing God’s timing is when He works through each one of us! I was feeling painfully dejected yesterday over my slow emotional and physical healing and could only focus on the enormous gap from where I am now and where I wish I was. I love how you used the word ‘lens’, that is very helpful to me in refocusing my gaze. Ty so very much for sharing.
I love when God makes us laugh with his perfect timing and heart-moving ways!
I’m an elite athlete and we were taught that healing takes time and rest. Relaxing. Doing absolutely nothing, only what is necessary, basics.
So, when I’m ill and not feeling on top of the world, I rest. I just put my two feet up and sleep it through. Easy for us elites. We can sleep anywhere. We are lazy when we are not training nor competing.
It is vital to give the body a good good rest or else, illnesses will arise from our abuse of our body.
Are not our bodies a temple of the Holy Spirit !
Treat our bodies the way we would treat the Holy Spirit. He lives in us.
Healing takes time. Whatever and however long it takes. Take the time. Be patient. Be patient with those that are hurting. Be kind and loving.
Like the LORD loves on us cos we are HIS dear beloved children, saints, brides.
Love ourselves.
You can’t rush healing.
Laughter is an indication that the hurt and pain is leaving. Gone.
Give ourselves time to rest and bask in God’s GLORY and LIGHT to heal.
Sit and do nothing.
Let God.
What a post! May God bless you bountifully! I had never looked at it this way… I never understood. I am talking such small baby steps, learning and knowing I am not to worry or dwell in the past but what do you do with the pain? I have learned that asking God for the same thing over and over is showing I have no faith in what he is doing so it scares me to even think about it. I do believe and I do want to show it!
Now I know. You thank God for working in your heart, healing you, you thank God that the pain is lesser today than yesterday. You thank God for Arianne for teaching you a great way to look at things in a different light.
Thank you Arianne for being you and for blessing me, teaching me a better way to communicate with Him.
Love, Patty
Thank you Patty!
Thank you so much for sharing this. It encouraged me so much!!!!
I am so, so glad Janet. xoxo
Thank you so much for this message. I am so impatient with God’s healing in my life. I often feel like I’m going backwards instead of making progress towards wholeness. I forget that God wants to heal deeply and that can so often seem like not moving forwards. I am often afraid of healing, it hurts and it’s messy and I’m not in control and yet I yearn deeply for that shalom where His image is more clearly revealed in me, maybe that is why God graciously heals me slowly and deeply. So I can adjust and get used to the beautiful new thing He chooses to do in me.
Your post has enabled me to focus once more on the Great Healer rather than the damage and pain.
Thank you
Oh Ruth. Being scared of the healing – I so understand that. Your words blessed me, thank you!
I am broken in my body and brain and that’s physical but my emotion part of brain where it is is just gone now so I feel deep deep grief as my daily life. When it hits the grief is ever so deep. And then there is real, true deep sorrow mixed in with all this and confusion and isolation. I learned at Stanford Hospital ice water, sipping, turns the brain, so I go nowhere without it. But at times the grief is too deep for water. Where does my help come from? Oh praise God. From Him maker of heaven and earth. And when I’ve completely closed down, this past week was so sad, felt deep sorrow, betrayal, abandonment in my weakest hour, out of no where three different friends sent me words of the Bible and the crack began and in that very day I was again able to read my Bible, sing praises to my Wonderful Lord, and more healing came…am I “healed”? No. Not the big picture nor this other situation. But I was healed of me closing down. So I can sing Jesus loves me this I know. For the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong, they are weak but HE IS strong. Yes Jesus loves me! Yes Jesus loves me. Yes Jesus loves me. The Bible tells me so!
Gwen; I am praying that Jesus heals and restores you completely ! From the inside outward ! I often forget that about the same time God asked me to carry my cross (daily), He indicated that I would be wounded as he was. The marks of a disciple. In my zeal I have asked to be blasted out of my comfort zone and hit the ground running for Him fearless, undaunted. Then, with the slightest bit of discomfort ~ I wimp out ! Covers over my head. A true “Brave Heart”. ; ) I love Psalm 121-by Paul Wilbur, circa early 90’s. For me, betrayals at intimate places have been the hardest to overcome, then I see Him hanging on The Cross, in agony ~ forsaken. And He forgave. Even me.
Gwen, I love that you were able to see your spirit healing despite all these hardships. You are strong because of Him!
God did miraculously swoop in and rescue me from a bad situation, but now the scars are starting to surface. Healing never seems to come, and I grow more and more frustrated that I’m not “perfectly fine” yet. I beat myself up that I can’t just get over it RIGHT NOW and live free! I want to live life fully but the walls I’ve built are holding me tightly in.
Your words have encouraged me. Thank you. 🙂
I totally get this Katie, and I do hope you are still encouraged! You have this. xoxo
As my daughter lies right now in a long-term acute care hospital healing from radical surgeries caused by the effects of Crohn’s disease, I am so blessed by your words. Healing had been SO slow, but that there has been healing at all is a miracle! Oh yes, I have been impatient. And yes, I have asked God “why”. But through the lens of Hindsight I see the daily miracles. And those miracles polish up my lens of Faith so that I learn to trust Him more. For He heals our bodies and hearts for His glory, and in His time.
Polishing the lens with daily miracles – I LOVE that!
It’s all about a change in perspective, which can be very difficult sometimes. In the depths of pain, it is easy to get swept away by depression and hopelessness. But, we must remember to focus on Him and we will begin to see the miracles.
Thank you, Arianne. I am in a long, slow healing process that has no end in sight. My body has been declared as good as it’s ever going to get, and my mind and emotions are now fractured over it and the last two decades of pain and struggle and fear and heartache. I want to be healed. Some parts of me will heal. Some parts won’t. Because I look great on the outside, most people forget I’m in constant pain and am about a millimeter away from the end of myself. Thank you for understanding and for writing about it.
Praying comfort for you today, Melinda. God sees you and hears you. May you find relief today. xoxo
I am so amazed at how the Lord uses different people and situations!! Your post so spoke to me since I have been still healing from a sprained ankle that happened 10 wks ago!! I thought it would be a few days!! I have been tormenting myself with the thought that I would never walk again and that pain will be permanent because I did not expect this to take so long!! I am so encouraged to know that it really is not so strange afterall that it is taking this long!! I have been broken inside too and yes, it took time to heal; thank God for His healing there too! It just seems I handle inside better than outside healing time! I am so very grateful He does heal both and I will choose to trust Him for the times I am in darkness about what He is doing. That is where temptation to believe lies comes in. Your words help me stand strong (no pun intended). Thank you so much for letting the Lord use your experience to help others.
That is wild! And I’m so hoping you were encouraged today. Healing to you. xoxo
“Sometimes God quietly and miraculously and eventually fixes a situation.”
These are such lovely words of truth. It brings to me a specific instance in which I cried out to God all but demanding He fox things right now because I could not endure one more moment! Imagine my audacity 0_o. But He is gentle and kind…and after more than SIX years I have only just seen Him reveal some healing truths behind my “suffering”. Funny thing though…as time went on and He began to do His work in His time…the suffering I thought was unbearable really was not as huge a deal…in hindsight :).
I also can see just how much WORK He did in my life and on my heart in order to bring me to this healing so I would have missed out on some pretty amazing growth had He listened to my…whining :0)!
Thanks for such a nice reflective post!
Thank you for writing on this subject-that no one wants to talk about. A subject we need to speak of more often. I recall being a new believer in Christ at the tender age of 17 and feeling defective because I didn’t “have enough faith” to claim the healing that was mine. My experiences in the last 29 years has found me rejecting the “name it and claim it” or “prosperity gospel”. How many of our sisters are suffering under this lie?
Love this desperately.
I tried to click on “Mabel’s Story” over on the side bar. I got to the list of links to your other posts, but none of those links were working. Thanks!
It’s been fixed, thanks for letting me know Lisa!
Simply beautiful and right on time
Arianne-my thoughts on this post are:: The healing is long and slow, BUT ever so thorough.
The journey towards healing is as important as the healing itself. God is ever so gentle, taking infinitely tender loving care with us, so that when the healing is accomplished, it is in all areas: body, mind and spirit. I’ve learnt that we cannot rush God, and nor would we wish to do so if we could be observers of the process, and see it happening from His perspective. I have learnt that in all things, God is working all things together for our good, and this can mean that the people we meet on the journey, and the relationships we make around the healing process, are of equal importance with the healing itself.
May God grant you His perspective, and Joy on the journey.
Yes. Well said.
He is so, so thorough. Yes!
Loved this and it describes my healing from anxiety and agoraphobia. I knew it was happening on a small scale but then one day, God totally set me free. Loved the words you used to describe the process.
I love hearing about your freedom!
Today, on top of already being amid a long-term life transition and healing process, I woke up with physicaly illness. All plans for the day were waylaid as I drifted between layers of muscle aches, nausea, weariness, migraine and sleep. Finally some improvement this evening and yet I’m still weary in body and soul. But God… Do you know how that is? But God, in his loving kindness counteracted my thoughts of going to bed without coming online. Here I find a refreshment needed in this long healing process. I will rest with renewed patience to persevere having received much wisdom and a great description that will help me to keep my focus aimed through God’s lens and not my own. Thank you and Bless you!
Babs, I am so grateful you heard that small voice telling you to come pop in over here and listen to these words so that you might be encouraged. Love it!
This was balm for my discouraged and impatient soul. Thank you. One day at a time.
Arianne,
Thank you for a spiritually, wonderfully written post. Everyone has hurt, brokenness and pain in their lives. God never promised an easy path in this life. I believe that sometimes the longer the healing takes the more “dross” God is removing from our lives. He is trying to make us more like Him.
It can be a hard and arduous task to live with. Some pain is harder to deal with than others. I pray in all the pain it draws us closer and closer to God.
God bless everyone! I’m praying for you all now!
Thank you for this beautiful reminder that healing will come. I found out last week that I had fractured my hip and it hurts! I run, not fast, but I run It is my time to rejoice in the beauty of God’s creation and my time to be quiet with Him. I am off runnimg till after the new year and really felt down yesterday. I will heal. I do have a Father who loves me. Thank you for that reminder!! I WILL be working on adjusting my lense today.
Oh my goodness, praying for healing for that hip! May this rest and quiet be such a huge blessing for you, Becky. xoxo
what an amazing and true post. I am in that slow healing season right now…last October my hormones went bouncing when I was taken off my thyroid meds, then I lost all my concentration, became unable to focus, started getting lost everywhere I went. By March I did not recognize my own name. They ruled out early onset Alzheimers and any form of dementia and then I was hospitalized for several weeks. There were still no answers when I was discharged BUT God gave me a word while I was int he hospital – I did not recognize my name and my words were scrambled but I kept asking for B12 shots (which I did not get). When I got out of the hospital I reserached B12 deficiency. I insisted on tetsing and alas I thought all my probems were solved. During the treatment they discovered that I now have low iron, low red cells and I have had 3 procedures and they don’t know why. I finally got an appointment at the neurologist tomorrow (been trying since March) to see if I have any residual damage or what could have caused it beyond the B12 deficiency as here we are in October again and I am starting to have confusion and get lost again. I do NOT want to go through that again and I pray that God will lead him to do the right tests and get me a proper accurate diagnosis so that treatment and further healing may take place. But, despite all that, and extremely debillitating fatigue the Lord gets me through each day and my chronic major depression and general anxiety which usually starts at this time of year as well has NOT arrived. So somehow I am healing a wee little bit at a time…with lots of B12 shots, iron infusions and a ton of prayer – my own and others on my behalf.
I’m praying for you today, Paula, for that neuro appointment and continued delay of (and total relief from) that depression and anxiety. Thank you for sharing here with us! xoxo
when you are traveling through you will have time where you have to Trust in our great healer,and I have been there many times but he promised that he would never let us or forsake us that is when I had to trust in his word and walk in it by faith.
Carol Heine/Justy-Ducky
I just wrote something similar myself in the journey of healing {though you wrote it much more eloquently then I}. No one really talks about the layers I feel. Sometimes those deep layers heal and reveal other layers that were hurt and damaged that now need to be healed.
But I really love Mary’s comment on how thorough a healer God is.
This is EXACTLY what I needed to read this morning!! Day 8 post op from my 2nd total knee arthroplasty (total knee replacement) I was starting to feel impatient with myself as well as with God. You could say I’m an impatient patient.
Your article helped me to see what a gift this time is, to be able to just “be” and be blessed by God as He lovingly, gradually heals me, layer by layer from the inside out.
Thanks so much!