I sit down in her living room, surrounded by other women I’ve come to love. Wearing yoga pants and a comfy sweater, there’s no reason for pretense here. As I look around the room, I realize the unlikeliness of these friendships to an outsider: there are married and unmarried women, those who are mothers and those not, twenty-somethings all the way up to our hostess, Carol, who just celebrated her 50th wedding anniversary.
We sit and visit and dream about life and the ministry we are all a part of together. And as I watch Carol carefully include everyone in the evening’s conversation, I realize the many things she does to create a bridge across the generations.
It starts with simple things, like remembering someone’s name. Asking their opinions. Intentionally bringing in women of different generations to collaborate on tasks and goals. Looking for commonalities and calling them out, while also noticing differences and celebrating them.
I have watched the way Carol will ask the youngest person in the room what her opinion is, and then really listen to her suggestions. Carol has told us, “You need the young person’s enthusiasm for life. Don’t exclude them, they’re an important part of growing and changing.”
Carol is quick to share the spotlight of success. She works diligently behind the scenes, quietly making a difference. At the same time, she doesn’t deflect; she confidently takes both compliments and harsh words in stride. She reminds us, “You can’t put too much stock in either.”
Carol is transparent with her life and honestly shares her struggles. We know she’s not perfect, and she’s able to chuckle about her own imperfections. She regularly asks for prayer.
She seeks out others’ gifts and finds ways for women to use them. Instead of complaining, she looks for ways to make things better. When a friend was struggling with an area she was overseeing for an event, Carol once asked me: “How can we support her? I’d like this to be a win for her.”
She is passionate about causes that impact our city, state, and world — taking multiple mission trips a year, empowering and encouraging young leaders as they work to combat issues such as human trafficking and poverty.
She is not afraid of controversy and is not easily swayed by the frantic opinions of others.
She sees people, not problems.
She is wise. She is kind.
I admire the way she works hard to bridge the gap of generations. She is connecting women of different ages, races, and walks of life — and she does it with the grace and ease of a seasoned woman who has learned to take in stride the ups and downs of life.
Carol is someone I look to as a mentor and friend. As I watch her example, it’s a reminder to me of the kind of friend I want to be. The kind of leader I hope to be.
The kind of woman I aspire to be.
Who has set an example of a godly woman in your life?
Leave a Comment
Liz Curtis Higgs says
Man, I wish my name was CAROL! She is everything I want to be when I grow up. Thanks, Kendra, for holding up this fine example of how to age without aging, putting our young hearts and seasoned minds to good use for God’s Kingdom.
Kendra Roehl says
Haha! Liz, I think you ARE like Carol! Everything I’ve read, and in (briefly) meeting you at Allume this past fall, you very much exude these same qualities 🙂
Katie Matzenbacher says
“She sees people, not problems.” – Love that. Thanks for sharing today Kendra!
Kendra Roehl says
Thanks Katie!
Karen says
I LOVE this and hope I am a leader like Carol! This was great for making me step back and examine my leadership! THANKS!
Kendra Roehl says
I think we all do Karen! Thanks for commenting!
Belinda Bryan says
I have a wonderful friend named Lavon. She and her husband were our Sunday school teachers when we were newlyweds–a very long time ago. She is 81 now and she is that kind of person. But I feel privileged to have watched her grow too through the years. She showed me that becoming that gracious person is a process. So I know there is hope for me too.
Kendra Roehl says
Thank you for sharing your story Belinda, I appreciate hearing about other women who have made such a difference in shaping a life. Blessings to you!
Free Bible says
thanks for sharing!
Melanie says
What a beautiful group you have. I love the heart and desire to include so many different women in different stages and seasons. What a blessing. It takes such courage to form such authentic community. I want a Carol!
Marty says
I love this post…and everything you said about your friend. I think the concept of “bridging the gap” is SO IMPORTANT. I always think of how much I can learn from the older women in my church…but I don’t always think of how much I can learn from the YOUNGER women in my church.Thank you for this great reminder that we need each other…young, old, married, single, moms, grandmothers…WOMEN.