She toddled into the room with a plan, antique hand mirror, and brush in hand. This two-year-old had work to do.
She couldn’t quite climb atop the bed to join us, though; it was just too tall for her diminutive frame. Like that would stop her. When Abigail wants to do something, she finds a way. Up she demanded, so up she came. Four princesses clustered atop a queen-size bed — aunties and mamas slowing down long enough to remember how simply To Be, gripping tight this precious moment between oldest and youngest cousins.
She set up shop and got down to business, the lot of us taking turns being knocked in the head on our way to “beauty.”
I could barely stand it.
It’s a curious thought that enters my mind, when I’m so wildly in love I’m sure my heart will swell like that time the Grinch’s heart grew three sizes:
We know just about everything we need to know by the time we turn three.
1. If you need help, ask.
Abigail didn’t just stand beside the bed and wish we could read her mind, she let us know she needed help. More often than not, people are eager and willing to help if they only know.
2. Family matters.
All of our relatives live hundreds of miles and too many hours away. Families share more than bloodlines and DNA; we share a common experience and genesis, chapters in a larger story unique to us. There’s a wealth to be gained from mining what each has to give, and make no mistake, it’s not only the older family members who have something of value to give. Families are formative in our identity and influence our future.
3. We’re made for community.
Abby knew I was hanging out with my daughter, and she and her mom wanted to be a part of whatever it was we were doing. Before we broke company my other two nieces had joined us, too. Humans are relational beings who thrive in the company of one another.
4. Love is spoken in more than one language.
Familiar with Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages? Sitting on that bed, I heard each being spoken:
- Quality Time ~ we were fully engaged; no phone/computer/tv/gaming competition.
- Physical Touch ~ when six people end up on one bed, you’re going to be physically close. But Abigail “styling” each of us? Pure love from her hands to our hair.
- Acts of Service ~ Abby provided a service because we needed to have our hair brushed.
- Receiving Gifts ~ All of this was a gift, received and given with love.
- Words of Affirmation ~ I don’t remember the conversation but I do know I came away full — not only talking with my SIL, but listening to her sow into my daughter and our other nieces.
5. It’s important to pursue your passions.
My mother-in-love delights in using the things she has, so few possessions are “hands-off,” including that silver antique brush and mirror. She’s the one who beautifully shaped my philosophy about using my china and crystal. Abigail likes to play beauty shop, and her face, illumined but determined as she “worked,” reminded me that joy is found when we’re doing what we’re created to do. It made me wonder about the things that cause my face to brighten.
6. Simple pleasures are the best.
That hour didn’t cost a thing but it was priceless.
7. Learn to see and savor the sacred.
The older my children get the more I appreciate time with them. The same goes for all family and friends. Because extended family gatherings are rare, they’re incredibly precious. What I once took for granted, I now celebrate as something special.
All of that from a two-year-old playing Beauty Shop.
But here’s the bigger takeaway: Jesus.
All I could think about were His words:
“But when Jesus saw it, He was indignant and said to them, ‘Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God.'” {Mark 10:14}
“. . . calling to Him a child, He put him in the midst of them and said, ‘Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.'” {Matthew 18:2-4}
Why would Jesus call his disciples to become like children? Because they’re uninhibited and unaffected? Because they trust and love without condition? Because they’re incredibly honest and direct (until they learn otherwise)? Their innocence?
The truth is, it really doesn’t matter why Jesus issued this call; my response should be simple obedience.
And today when I turn another year older, I’m especially thankful to have a primer in the form of a pint-size hairstylist.
Celebrate with me? Thanks to the generosity of DaySpring, I’m hosting a $150 giveaway!
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Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Robin,
As always…love your writing! I was going through boxes in the attic and I came upon the box that kept the old fashioned tea cups that my aunt and I used to play tea party with. She was great at getting down on pint-sized level and enjoying her inner child. It brought tears to my eyes. She also played tea party with my daughter (now 26). Those wonder years of childhood pass oh so quickly… thanks for the reminder that to enter the Kingdom of Heaven we must become like a little child. May we take some lessons in love, trust, and devotion that our little ones teach us.
Blessings,
Bev
Robin Dance says
Oh, Bev…I think you need to have a tea party TODAY!! <3
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Happy Happy Birthday 🙂 Enjoy!
Kristine Brown MTY says
So sweet:) This reminded me of when my son was a toddler. During the night, we’d hear the patter of his little feet coming down the hall to our room. That always made me smile. Now, those size 15 feet aren’t so little! Having a teenager definitely brings out my sentimental side. Time with them is so precious!
Robin Dance says
Kristine,
My baby is going to be 18 next week; when he graduates, I’ll be living in a much roomier nest. So, I’m right there with ya sister, my sentimental side is ginormous!! 🙂
Southern Gal says
Happy Birthday, Robin!
Robin Dance says
Hey Miss Southern Gal!! Thank you :).
Debbie Putman says
Beautiful thoughts. Thank you for sharing and giving me a gift on your birthday. May God richly bless you this year.
Robin Dance says
Debbie,
It’s such a delight to see your involvement at the Consilium, but I felt your absence during Bloom this go ’round. So thankful for YOU and your many encouragements and giftings!! 🙂
Debbie Putman says
I so wanted to participate in Bloom. I bought the book, started reading it and answering the questions, but I couldn’t manage the time online. I’m involved in a ministry called GriefShare at my church and just finished training to become a Stephen’s Minister and visit people who are sick and in the hospital. Thank you for thinking of me. I am always encouraged by you. Just seeing the Bloom emails and posts made me smile all day.
Robin Dance says
And you KNOW that was NOT to guilt you in any way, right?! 🙂 Only for you to know how much you added to our conversation last time, and I’m so happy to see you serving elsewhere! What an incredible ministry….you are PERFECT for that role. 🙂
Debbie Putman says
No guilt, I promise. Just wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what happened. Plus I’m on vacation from school this week and had extra time so I needed to talk to my dear friend. And the only reason I can serve in those ways is because God changed me so much. I promise any good is His, not me.
Robin Dance says
🙂
Joanne Peterson says
Robin,
I loved this! When we were sorting things for my mother to move into assisted living, we found her tea set when she was a little girl. We reminisced with such good memories, and we cried since this is a change that is hard.
I know where my tea set is located when my sister and I were little girls. I played tea with my first round of kids, they remember it and loved it. I will have to play tea with my boys now, (it’s equal opportunity) and build memories. I’ve watched them play with their plastic tea set, but I need to bring out the my little girl china tea set, and use it in the living room as if they were grown-ups, (and it is also carpeted in the living room for boy antics) I know with some tea water, and cookies, they’ll love it like my first round of kids.
This week is spring break, perfect opportunity to play with them since we are staying home. I am so glad you wrote this post on many levels. But one, is I had forgotten I had my tea set from it not being used since my other kids are grown. I will have to remedy that this week.
Warmly,
Joanne
Robin Dance says
Joanne,
Please DO have a tea party!! There is such a sweetness to this form of “play,” to me, even important. What sweet memories you have, and I’m hopeful this has stirred some new ones to come :).
Beth Williams says
Joanne,
Moving a loved one into assisted living is hard. I moved my dad last year. It was hard going through stuff and deciding what to keep and what to get rid of.
I pray your mom enjoys her days at the assisted living!
Blessings 🙂
Joanne Peterson says
Thank you so much Beth! It is hard to see her there. She decided it was time for her to move there. Still going through all the memories, and her going to her room, her new home instead of “home” was hard. Hard to grieve the next step of my mom getting older. She is adjusting, I think pretty well. The staff is more than super, and they work very hard to try to make it cozy, and more a family atmosphere. Your kind words mean a lot to me!
Blessings to you as well! 🙂
Joanne Peterson says
Robin,
I’ve meant to say this for a while. You are so sweet in the way you encourage the women whenever you post. I’ve just finished reading for now the other reader’s comments and your fun and sweet responses. But I know you also have depth. Thank you for your encouragement, and your way of being yourself in the way you love on us women, and in the way you give us a little incentive to keep walking out our walk and to look for the enjoyment too during the hard times, and during the good times.
And yes, Happy Birthday! If you are unable to celebrate today, still celebrate, there is the birthday zone you know.
Warmly,
Joanne
Robin Dance says
🙂 THIS was a birthday gift to me, Joanne :). Kind words are always gifts. I saw it on my phone, unable to reply at the time…but blessed then AND now :). I’m grateful.
Brenda says
~ Happy Birthday, Robin ~ Hope you have a beautiful day. 🙂
Robin Dance says
Thank you, Brenda…I sure did!
Robin Hurst says
Thank you, Robin for the reminder that “joy is found when we’re doing what we’re created to do.” And for sharing your “childlike wonder”. God’s joy is so different and so deep. I am grateful for the simple things. Today, I choose to seek the simple, meaningful things trusting that Jesus will lead my way.
Robin Dance says
Sometimes I think we see exactly what we seek… 🙂
Joanne Peterson says
I’ve pulled out my tea set from when I was a little girl, and showed my boys all the pieces and put together a place setting and the serving pieces. Today we planned our menu, tiny tea sandwiches, grapes, tiny cookies, m&m’s and water tea. I will wash the set, and make the tiny tea sandwiches, and tea cookies so they fit on the serving pieces and on our plates, and we can have a party! They are so excited, and can hardly wait from bursting with anticipation, and now because they are excited, so am I. (I wasn’t expecting them to be so excited since they are all boys all 120% of them.) The occasion? just because it is Monday! Thank you so much for mentioning this…the wonder of them being children, and then the pleasure I have just from being with them and seeing this from their eyes.
Robin Dance says
DID YOU TAKE A PICCHA???? Please share it with me if you did!! (and if not, I know you can close your eyes and see their delight, no camera needed)
Joanne Peterson says
My 20 year old son did. He’s not available right now. But while we were still in the midst of having the party, they asked, “Can we do this again, tomorrow?” mouth full of cookie scarfing and guzzling water tea.
They were little gentleman doing boy acrobatic antics on the carpet, (good thing I thought to have a party sitting on the floor.) My youngest kept saying “This is so beautiful!”
My older son kept drinking the water tea, and decided that along with the pretend sugar and creamer, he had to use the pretend salt and pepper in his tea. It was a riot! I served them partially to serve them as you would a proper tea, partly to be able to keep the pieces intact to have another tea with them.
Today they asked again if we could have a tea. I couldn’t but, I still served them tiny tea sandwiches on their dinner plates for lunch, and they begged for more tiny cookies for dessert. I gave them coffee cups that sort of look like full size tea cups for their beverage. Just this partial tea was enough to enchant them. I need to make it a priority to do the little things that are so much fun for them and for me.
This is such a lovely gift you gave me with this post! Thank you Robin! And thank you also for getting excited with me! Joanne
Grandma Kay says
What a lovely post, Robin ~ I love tea and tea parties, though I don’t have them very often (think I’d better make having them a priority). And Happy Birthday (my “baby” is twenty today, though she’s ill with bronchitis so we had to postpone her birthday celebration)!
In His grace, Grandma Kay
Robin Dance says
Ahhh, another birthday sister! I hope she’s on the mend and you’re close to celebrating her special day :).
Kathleen K says
I love the statement about simple pleasures. I am learning to live the empty nest phase of my life. As a single mom, I don’t like it too much. My house is very quiet now. I am a first grade teacher and this reminded me during the day to take time to enjoy the simple pleasures of my young students. At recess the girls love to braid my long hair, talk constantly with me. I used to tell them to go play but now, I am going to enjoy their time and use it to speak into their lives words or hugs that they need. It will bless them but also be a blessing to me.
Robin Dance says
{{hugs to you, Kathleen}}
Empty nest as a single mom is different…I know. I sense this. I DO pray joy over you right now, that you find a sweetness in the quiet, that you see God revealed in precious new ways. I’m so thankful those 1st graders have YOU in their lives. I know yours is not an easy job, so I pray renewed strength and energy and the ability to love well. Even when they try your last nerve. 🙂
Debi G says
Sometimes, I forget that God wants me to become like a child. I want to trust
Him fully, letting Him remove fear & anger, as I live through each day. God bless you all.
Robin Dance says
The things you want are the same things I want :). I’m blessed through your honesty.
Chris says
Made me smile. Thanks and Happy B-Day
Robin Dance says
Thank you, Chris!
Beth Williams says
Happy Birthday Robin! 🙂
I love spending time with family! Like you said my sisters live 5 hrs. away North or South. They have busy lives and can’t be with me. I so dearly miss them. My nephews and nieces live all over the world from China, Texas, Georgia, Florida, Virginia. I rarely if ever get to see them.
We were made for community and to share our lives with each other! We need to use our “special” stuff all the time and not save it for that one day. That one day may never come!
Blessings 🙂
Robin Dance says
I much rather break something using it than it getting broken in a box, never having been enjoyed. 🙂
M says
I am 2 days late. It has been late out here on the road. Happy Birthday and thanks for sharing your life and your stories. You bless us each time you do.