I wept as I listened to the preacher talk about Jonathan and David.
“Jonathan became one in spirit with David . . . And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself.” {1 Samuel 18:1-3}
The beauty of David and Jonathan’s friendship inspired me, but I didn’t cry because I was inspired. I cried because I longed for friends like that.
Oh, I had friends already, plenty of them. Plenty of acquaintances too. You know, those nice people I greet in the hallway? Not to mention all my Facebook friends. I’m surrounded by people, and I’m in the public eye constantly.
But covenant friends? They were few and far between . . . and I was lonely.
So I began to pray.
Dear Father, You know I long for covenant friendships like David and Jonathan had. The kind of friends for whom my husband and I would be willing to give our lives, who would also lay down their lives for us. I believe it’s Your will for us to have friends like that. So Father, I ask in Jesus’ name, please send us the covenant friendships that You desire us to have.
And the Lord began to answer that prayer. Not all at once. Slowly, however, new people came into our lives:
- People who feel like they are extensions of ourselves, and with whom we share the same heart.
- People who value real friendship as much as we do.
- People who ask us how we are, and actually care about the answer.
- People with whom we can laugh, have fun, and be serious too.
One at a time, in answer to prayer, God began to send amazing people into our lives — amazing people with whom we have much in common. And although I continue to pray for additional true, lasting friendships, I am eternally grateful for the relationships He has already sent.
But what about you? Are you lonely today? Do you need covenant friends too?
- Do you long for friends who will reach out to you, instead of you always having to reach out?
- Do you long for friends who ask questions about your life, instead of only talking about themselves?
- Do you long for friends who will be as involved in your life as you are in theirs?
- Do you long for friends who will love you like Jonathan loved David?
You’re not alone if you do, but don’t despair. God can give you friendships like that!
God sees the desire of your heart, and He approves. He invented friendship. He invented covenant. He invented deep, lasting relationships.
And right now, our Father has some friends for you. He wants to bring you into beautiful relationships with people who share your sense of humor, interests, and values.
All you have to do is ask Him.
In John 14:13-14, Jesus said:
“And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything in My name, I will do it.”
You don’t have to settle for acquaintance-friendships only. You don’t even have to be satisfied with friendships in which you do all the work. You can have lasting, two-way-street, covenant friendships:
- Friends who will stand with you to the bitter (or beautiful) end;
- Friends who will cry out to God in prayer the very instant you need help;
- Friends who will pour into your life as you pour into theirs.
You can experience true, biblical community with godly people who share your heart. You can’t conjure those friendships up yourself. But God can give you the friends you desire.
If you’re lonely, would you ask Father God for covenant friendships today?
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Related: To celebrate the covenant relationships in our lives, hang this beautiful wall art in your home: Two Are Better Than One ~ 16 x 20 Print
Tami says
Hi, Jamie! I liked this post. Thank you for writing it. I was extremely disturbed, however, when I hopped over to your blog to read more that you’d written. I’m not sure what to write to you to express my concern for you to be careful what you encourage other people to support politically. It is such a big responsibility to be a teacher, and I hope that you have done a lot of research into the history and current politics of the nations residing in the Middle East, particularly Palestine. Mr. N is not someone who can be trusted, and he is openly disobeying UN resolutions right and left, building new settlements on land that is not theirs to build on. It breaks my heart. I know that believers can have very different opinions about politics, and I support that, but I worry that a large number of American believers do not have a chance to see the full picture. I suggest reading Blood Brothers by Elia Chacour and Light Force by Brother Andrew for starters. Thank you for desiring to encourage other believers, and I hope I haven’t been offensive!
FromHisPresence says
Hi Tami. Thanks for reading and I’m glad you enjoyed this post. I’d like to keep this comment thread about the post above–covenant friendships–not about anything political, because of course I disagree wholeheartedly with everything you said above about Israel. But if you’d like to talk about any subjects related to my blog, let’s do so over there, ok? That way this post can remain talking about covenant friendships. 🙂 Thanks!
Mary says
My husband and I are empty nesters and we do not have much extended family. Most of our friends are acquaintances. Please pray God will connect us with people we can be in a covenant relationship with. I’ve done the church social thing and want more than just surface level relationships. I long for people to be close to, who can be trusted with personal things, who will laugh, cry, and encourage us. And we for them.
Mary
FromHisPresence says
Mary, I do pray our Papa would bring you into divinely-appointed connection with just the right people. People you can do life together with, love, laugh with, and be trusted. And thank you for reading!
Beth Williams says
Mary,
Prayers that Abba Father will bring you and your husband some good friends. May God at His appointed time bring the right people into your lives so you can share life with them!
(((hugs)))
Denise Jarman says
Hi Jamie, I loved your thoughts on covenant friendship, a term I’d not heard of before. I long to have such a friend to enjoy time with, do things together, laugh a lot with and be real with. I think I have some good friends but they mostly live in other countries or states. Sometimes it’s hard to have a friend that you can spend time with because they are married and I’ve never been married. They are busy with grandchildren and I will never have any grandchildren to have fun with. There are not a lot of women still single at my age who are ready to spend time with me. I have been blessed by being in an online Bible study group for two months and God has taught me a lot about community through that. Maybe it’s God’s time for me to have a covenant friendship. I will certainly pray along those lines. Thank you for sharing with this nearly 67 year old! 🙂
FromHisPresence says
It’s definitely time, Denise! I pray our Papa would bring you just the right person or people! 🙂
Anna says
Dear Jamie, thank you so much for this post and reminding us just how much God longs for us to be in fellowship with one another in Him. God has brought me special covenant friends and I am incredibly thankful to my best friend back home (in another country) for praying specifically for this, when I came back to faith. She knew how important it would be for me to have someone who would encourage me and challenge me in my faith and show me the beauty of the Father’s love for me. I pray the Lord shows me how to offer that same gift of pure friendship to others and to see and reach out in their need.
FromHisPresence says
That’s awesome, Anna. Thank you so much for sharing. I’m so glad you have some special folks who are close to your heart.
I used to be a very shy person and am a natural introvert. However, as you said above, I found that when I began to offer the gift of friendship to others and reach out to hurting folks, it sure became easier to make the right friends. 🙂
Kim says
Hi!! I have been praying this prayer myself. I have a few good friendships, but am chronically ill and am unable to keep up with many activities. I have been praying that God will send a friend into my life that has time to sit, pray, cry, and laugh, but one who has a tender heart, as I do. I do count the friends I have as blessings for sure, but I need a deeper soul connection, hope that makes sense. I know that God desires this for me as well. Ultimately He is the one who knows my deepest thoughts, sees my tears and longings. Thank you for the reminder of David and Jonathan, I had done a David study and it was one of my favorite parts, probably because of my deep longing for the same.
FromHisPresence says
Hi Kim. I’m sorry you’ve been sick. I pray Papa would bring you wonderful friends with whom you can “do life together,” in sickness and in health!
Amy M says
Oh, this post hits home. For a while, my husband and I moved around a lot, so I have a lot of positive acquaintances, but I do long for friends like that. We are settled in one spot for the long haul, now (I hope!), and everyday I pray for strong, deep friendships and community – both online and off.
FromHisPresence says
Hi Amy. I’m so glad you’re already praying. Our Papa will answer!!! He’s just Mmm Mmm good like that! 🙂
Diana Fleenor says
Jamie, just this morning I was praying for this very thing, again! Before this past year or so, I wouldn’t have called what I was asking for “covenant friendship” but the description you have given IS what I have been asking for for quite some time. I have a complex chronic illness which makes being around fragrance/scents (and many other “everyday” environmental items) disabling. Since almost everyone uses these things, including at church, I have not been able to be “in” community for about 8 years. About 1 1/2 years ago, we had to move to Texas to seek “safe” housing and special treatment for my condition. It has been here that I found a church in which they use the term “covenant community” and seem to have the heart you describe. I contacted them about a year ago and a few members of the church have begun to email with me. This is obviously a slower “getting to know” each other than might happen with a face-to-face relationship. I especially long for the day when I feel like the relationships are no longer “friendships in which you do all the work”. You are one of the few who have encouraged me to continue to pursue God with passionate desire for the “lasting, two-way-street, covenant friendships”. So, I will keep on praying and hoping and believing that “God can give you the friendships you desire”. I thank Him for this encouragement through you to persevere! Blessings to you!
FromHisPresence says
Pray on, sista! I’m sorry you’ve been sick and I pray God’s grace, strength, and favor will cover you as you walk through this valley. May Papa send you the right people that will hold up your hands when you need it, and whose hands you can also hold when they need it! He made us to dwell in community like this. Thank you for reading and sharing!
Diana Fleenor says
Thanks, Jamie, for your prayers and care!
Beth Williams says
Diane,
Prayers that God will allow you to have some good covenant relationships. May God heal you and allow you to attend church to meet some of those on-line friends. My prayer is that you can find that special person or couple, like I have, who is there for you no matter what! In God’s timing this will happen!
Diana Fleenor says
Beth, I thank the Lord for your prayers and caring heart. I’m so encouraged by your words!
Natasha says
Thank you for this post. I had these kind of friends when I was in college but since moving back home to go to grad school I have been having a difficult time finding covenant friends at this time in my life. I have been praying, but so far here do not have the kinds of friend you described. I like how you wrote about how God invented friendships. Something I struggle with is the balance between knowing God is enough and also believing He made us for community. At times when I pray for new friends, I feel a little guilty, like I am not being satisfied in God, but I will keep praying! Thanks again for the post!
FromHisPresence says
I’m so glad you brought that up, Natasha. I actually studied into that very point recently – about believing God made us for community. And I found out that it all goes back to the fact that we are to become like Jesus.
Jesus lives in constant community with the Father and the Holy Spirit. They are One. And Jesus even lives in us (according to John 17:23). So as the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit live in intimate community with each other and with us, so should we live in community with Him and with each other.
I thought that was the neatest thing. It frees us from thinking we’re being needy or pitiful by desiring those intimate relationships. 🙂 God made us like that because we’re to become like Him. 🙂
Natasha says
Thanks for your response and for sharing your insight. That is a neat way to think about it 🙂
Kaz Zer says
Funny you should write about this. I only know how to make life-long friendships.
Beth says
Jamie, Thank you for your post. I lost my dearest life long friend two years ago to breast cancer at 41, we had been best friends since 8th grade, I prayed for God to take me not her yet I knew he had a plan. I feel into a very deep depression and didn’t allow anyone in. Last September I sought counseling and found an amazing counselor that suggested I go to a church and just pray, and be. It was not long until I felt loved and a plan. I know Jesus loves me and put me where I am and have been to not only love others but find others that will love me. God is amazing and today’s worship song was you are not alone. I hope to find another longer than forever friend and I know who is truly listening so I continue to pray! Thank you
FromHisPresence says
Beth, I’m so terribly sorry for your loss. I pray Papa would bring you another covenant friend also, someone who will weep with you when you weep and laugh with you when you laugh. Someone who would love you enough to give her life for you and you for her if needed. Someone that helps shoulder your burden and that you can just enjoy life with. I pray that our Papa would restore to you everything that’s been stolen, and double. And that precious Papa would comfort you during this time. I’m so terribly sorry.
Beth Williams says
Beth,
I’m sorry for the loss of that friend. Prayers for Abba father to bring someone special into your life. Someone you can enjoy life-the ups and downs. In His perfect timing it will be done!
Blessings 🙂
Beth Williams says
Jamie,
Such an interesting blog post! I have never heard of covenant friendships, but have a few. Most of them come from my little church. One friend I can call almost daily and chat about anything! She and her family are like family to us. We share our lives.
Other than a few people at church my hubby and I don’t have a lot of friends. I suppose it’s because we never had children, and have different hobbies than most people in our area. But having 1-2 really close friends is a good thing and I thank God for them!
Blessings 🙂
Linda VanDeusen says
Hi Jamie. It’s funny that I should read this shortly after I posted in my mental health group about wanting friends. Thanks for posting this.