I’ve always admired people who never give in. You know, the ones who don’t consider defeat when they blow it?
I wish I were that brave.
Honestly, I tend to beat myself up a little when I fall short of the woman I want to be, or the woman God is calling me to be. Like the other day when I got upset with my son and went on a rant about his laundry not being put away and his room being a mess.
Soon after, my internal bully (the mean voice in my head) started ranting about the mess I had just made and how I’d blown my chance of being a good mom that day. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve let failure knock me down, tie me up with ropes of regret, and hold me hostage for a day or two.
When I was writing A Confident Heart, I surveyed over a thousand women and discovered that our past failures and fear of failing in the future are two of the most common causes of insecurity and self-doubt.
I think our greatest defeat comes when we allow failures, sins, and broken relationships to convince us that we might as well give up.
But look at what God tell us in Psalm 37:23-24, and as you read it insert your name in the blanks:
“The steps of ____________ are established by the Lord, and He delights in ____________’s way. When ____________ falls, __________ will not be hurled headlong, because the Lord is the One who holds ________’s hand.” (NASB)
Instead of giving in, Jesus wants to empower us to get up again.
In getting up, we can apologize and ask for forgiveness.
In getting up, we can choose to try again with our kids, in our jobs, in our marriages, in our ministries, and in all of our mistakes. Because we know that our steps are established by the Lord, and although we fall, God still holds our hand and offers to help us up again.
When we get up again, failure can actually help us become the confident woman God created us to be because it can make us stronger and better — when you go to God for help.
Defeat might even be the thing that stretches us to do more than we think we can and pushes us to try new ideas or methods when one way doesn’t work.
I’m so relieved to know that following Jesus is not about being perfect. It’s about accepting our weaknesses and becoming more dependent on His perfect love and power at work in us. And every time we to depend on Him, we become more of the confident women we’re meant to be — because instead of giving in, we choose to take God’s hand and get up again.
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Renee,
I think my “internal bully” likes to work overtime. I am very quick to beat myself up, too, when I make mistakes. What a breath of fresh air to insert my name in the scripture from the Psalms. What a relief to know that no matter what I do or how badly I mess up, God’s grace extends further. I can’t do it on my own, but in His power I can pick myself up and begin again. Thanks for such a healing post this morning!
Blessings,
Bev
Oh Bev, I’m not sure why we’re so hard on ourselves but I’m right there with you. God’s grace is the most precious gift, isn’t it? Praying the sweet empowering truth of Psalm 37:23-24 over you today!
I agree. I too beat myself up mercilessly for days and the end of it I am worn out. If I would only remember that’s it’s ok to fail and do the not-so-right thing by dusting off myself and leaning on Jesus I would be a conqueror.
Thank you for this post, it is so true that we can feel defeated and be tempted to throw in the towel, but it’s in those moments that God wants us to reach out and take His hand so He can be our strength. Beautifully written and perfectly timed 🙂
Amen Kristen!! It’s so easy to let defeat define us. So very thankful to know we’re not alone – He is (with) us and for us!! And we’re all in this grace-space together. Thank you for your encouraging words today.
Your book has been one of the most important books to me. I’ve let my defeat, failures, shortcomings keep me from being the woman God has called me to. I still beat myself up, but the only difference now is that I remind myself it’s okay. I’m human. I’m going to mess up and it’s what I do after that matters. No more lying down.
Alecia, it’s so good to see your beautiful face and read your words!! Thank you for taking time to share what God’s doing in your life. I love hearing stories like yours and seeing the faces of women I prayed for as I wrote A Confident Heart. I prayed for each one, and you were one of them. 🙂
The world tries to tell us to “pull yourself up.” But that when I try that, I usually end up in a deeper pit than before. Thank you, Renee, for reminding me that Jesus is always right there with an outstretched arm, just waiting for me to take hold of His hand and let Him lift me up. Then, and only then, can I move forward with Him. Blessings to you!
Sabra, you are so right. What the world tells us and the grace-infused strength God offers us is so different. I love how He offers His hand to help us get up again, and again!!
O, I never ever give up. This is a virtue I posses by God’s grace.
Such a gift!!
Such beautiful encouragement for me…thank you for the scriptures personalization, love it. I will be meditating on this verse and personalized with my names! Thnaks Renee Swope for Your never ending encouragement to people that needs it. Glory to God!
I loved that I get to share this grace-walk with friends and (in)couragers like you!
Love this! So glad you used Psalm 37:23-24, which I memorized without inserting my name. I needed that! Thanks. Going to reenter it in ScriptureTyper with my name so I get it right in my heart, not just my head!
Love it! 🙂
Renee! Inserting my name into that verse just rocked my world!!!!
I am so bad about beating myself up about being the woman God is calling me to be as well! I want to just give up because I think that there is no way I can rebound from the failure. And I get caught up with what other people think about my failure and that somehow i have ruined their opinion of me and my walk with God.This post just infused me with such courage.
Thank you friend for this offering!
I love that {with Jesus} we can fall down, reach up, get up, and fail forward. It’s amazing how His grace helps us learn from our mistakes and walk in dependence on Him more and more each day. Hugs to you!
Renee,
My bully surely works overtime and causes me to think less of myself! These past few years have been hard–especially dealing with my aging dad’s health issues. Each time I fail at work or try to do something new I get the feeling & hear “H I can’t get that or do that” “you’re not that smart”. I start thinking I need a new job or something different.
God knows the plans He has for me and I have to get up and try again! Giving up isn’t an option for me. “Winners don’t quit and Quitters don’t win” is my motto. Like Bev says below no matter how bad I blow it–God’s grace is always to quiet my soul! 🙂
Oh and like you I blow it at home also. Sometimes I say the wrong things or act out in frustration. Thanks to God and a loving husband I am extended grace when I ask for forgiveness!!
Blessings 🙂
Beth,
We both need to tell our bullies to hit the road because we are daughters of the King!!
Praying for you my friend…
((Hugs)),
Bev
I especially appreciated the wisdom of these words: “Defeat might even be the thing that stretches us to do more than we think we can and pushes us to try new ideas or methods when one way doesn’t work.” God used those words to speak to a particular situation in my life. I am seeking his guidance for the steps he’s already established, the new ideas and methods he’s already designed. Thank you for the pep talk, Renee!
I love that Nancy. Thank you for sharing!! 🙂
Renee,
You are so right. Since Sunday the Lord has been revealing lies I’ve come to believe and accept. I thank Him illuminating His truth and for using you to cement it today. Thank you friend.
I love that!! God’s timing is so good. 🙂
I really. really. REALLY. needed this today. That verse hit the spot. Thank you so much for sharing this encouragement!
I can’t tell you how much this post means to me today. I am out of town for work, missing home and beating myself up over things gone wrong with work during the day. I’ve worked all night trying to fix things, just crawled into bed feeling sad and alone, and opened up my iPad to read your beautiful words. What a blessing.
Oh Sheryl, I”m so sorry you had such a hard day. Those are especially hard when we’re away from home and alone. I love that God met you through this post and reminded you of His amazing grace and kindness. Praying for you tonight.
Feeling so totally defeated.
“The steps of Ruth are established by the Lord, and He delights in Ruth’s way. When Ruth falls, Ruth will not be hurled headlong, because the Lord is the One who holds Ruth’s hand.” My prayerful heart is with you today Ruth. Hold on to Jesus. He’s holding on to you dear one. His healing love, tender mercies, and living hope are with you each and every day.
Renee, thank you so much for writing such an encouraging and beautiful post! It’s exactly what I needed to hear today. Being overwhelmed with work and old and new failures in my life trying to creep up on me, it is such a relief to know that God is holding out His hand to pull us back up no matter what we’re going through. A courageous and brave step of faith.
This is noT a coincidence that this was written for today. For the first time, I didn’t allow guilt to keep me from God, I apologized, and prayed, and tried to stay positive and hopeful. I’ve fallen many times, but this time felt different. I’m praying that I don’t ever fall into this sin ever again. I know this post was definitely for me.
That is so great Robyn!! We all mess up but Jesus is there to help us up and wash us with His grace. So encouraged that you were able to receive His grace this time!!
A word fitly spoken (Prov. 25:11) so needed this. It makes such difference using my name instead. Bless u Renee,
What a great article. I so enjoy your book. As a single mom that works 2 jobs I am great at beating myself up! I am trying so hard to work on that and ask God daily for strength!
Praying for you to feel God’s grace wrap around your heart and encourage you through these verses and truths all week!!
No one can be harder on me than me. I grew up with little approval and love and it’s so hard for me to think I’m worth something. It’s even hard to think how much God loves me when I keep making mistakes time after time. I’ve always longed to fit it and no matter what I do I just don’t seem to fit in. I can’t have do overs so I just keep on trying to be accepted. Sometimes I just want to crawl in God’s lap and let Him hold me. I’m His child so I know I’m special but why can’t I feel loved. I walk in disobedience. Like Paul said I do the things I shouldn’t and don’t do the things I should. Your question today was a powerful one. Thanks.
Sharon, I have struggled for multiple decades with the same desire to fit in that has never worked out. And a wish to crawl into God’s lap, too. I haven’t been small enough to sit on someone’s lap in nearly as many years as I have been struggling to fit in. I don’t know why I have struggled for so long as my own worst enemy, but I guess I am afraid if I cut myself some slack (aka grace!), I will be sinning…when pushing away God’s grace as not being big enough or permanent enough is the real issue here. ((Hugs))
This is such an encouragement to me today Renee! Thank you! The past two weeks have been marked by falling down and struggling to stand. Your last paragraph is like a shot of adrenaline to my weary, wanting-to-give-up heart. To take His hand, and get back up. Thanks friend, today you were my lighthouse. xo
Praying for you right now Tammy. He is for you!! He is with you. He will never, ever give up on you!!
Thank you for this very timely and encouraging word. I have been dealing with a challenging emotional experience, feeling depressed most times …yet I continue to press into God so that I don’t give up. He truly is the strength of my heart and my portion forever…thanks again for this encouragement.
~iva~
This is just what I needed to hear after getting the results of an evaluation at work. I tend to dwell on failures and build them up so they are mountains in my mind that are not able to be navigated. Thank you for the reminder.
Wow, I really needed to hear that Renee, I do more than beat myself up, I literally start to think I must have assumed I was saved but that I must have missed the boat based on my falling. Thanks for this uplifting message, I think so many women need to hear this!
Thanks for enlightenment…I’ve learned to trust God ‘s love and patiently wait for Him… Don’t let anxious thoughts run wild in our heart and mind.. Instead turn our worries into worship by trusting God. It’s ok to cry but after that walk by Faith, even small step of Faith at a time.. Trust His love to you..He never leaves our side.. Life on Earth is far beyond perfect. But, we have a loving God who always guides us along the way. We just have to believe and to live by Faith not by sight.
Thank for this message! It is quite eye opening when inputting your name into scripture. Thank you Renee for the encouragement.
God bless!
Thank you! Thank you for speaking truth! This is exactly-exactly what i have been going through! The voices in my head argue and fight with each other and have totally paralyzed me! This is my disease and you have given the antidote through Ps 37 : 23-24! Oh Lord- protect me from myself so i can impact others for you!
A good word from a precious friend. Press on. Love ya, Mama Lu