About the Author

Robin is the author of For All Who Wander, her relatable memoir about wrestling with doubt that reads much like a conversation with a friend. She's as Southern as sugar-shocked tea, married to her college sweetheart, and has three children. An empty nester with a full life, she's determined to...

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  1. My biggest battle with comparison has been with myself.

    Once I realized how I was comparing myself to others, I culled the blogroll, I cut down on social media, I sought to read only that which affirmed and built up.

    But you can’t escape yourself.

    And so my biggest battle became not comparing myself to others, but comparing myself to a past or future version of myself.

    “Ten years ago I did ____ and I weighed ____ and it’s my own fault for how I am now.”
    “Once we get past the baby years, I’ll be on top of things, I’ll lose the weight, I’ll clean my house.”
    “I used to have time for this, now I’m just so tired.”
    “If I could just get ____ then everything else would fall into place.”

    The other versions of me seem so much more appealing, but they are just as fictitious as the little glimpses of life we get on Instagram, and Facebook etc.

    I am enough. God loves me as I am. I can love who I was, look forward to who I will become and be content in my own skin in the here and now.

    • This sounds revolutionary, Sarah. Wise insight into your own heart and mind, and then transformation as God renewed your mind! What an encouragement today.

  2. 1. I do ok with negative self-talk when I am in a good mental space. I do default to negative self talk when I feel overwhelmed, less patient, or tired. This is an awareness that I have recently discovered so am trying to relearn to give myself grace and quite frankly not take myself so seriously.

    2. I do not struggle with online comparison, I am actually so inspired and encouraged by the ideas I see on Pinterest and the little screenshots of what others are doing throughout their day. But that is not the case when I see someone out in public with their sweet well behaved children. I see the mom who has packed a great picnic for the park visit and say to myself ” I do not even feed my family as well planned meal on a Holiday meal day.” Silly but true.

    3. As I read this chapter and reflected I had an amazing ( to me anyway) epiphany. I am the ONLY one who is putting any pressure or guilt on myself whatsoever. My husband does not judge me, my precious son adores all the times we spend together, my home is completely unaware of how clean it is, the friends that stop by are happy to have company and someone else’s home to take their children to and play. Really for me I realize it is that simple. This is a huge paradigm shift for me. I am the only one who is creating the guilt I feel. This feels like freedom and relief to even be aware of this fact.

    4. My take away quote for this section is: ” No one is keeping score but you.”

    • AHHH, Elizabeth–deja vu! YOU win the Smart Cookie award today :).

      Your takeaway is something that would serve a lot of us well to remember…on a daily basis!

  3. Q1> I am still not great at catching my own negative self talk. I know it’s destructive and something I definitely need to work on.

    Q2> Comparisons online are a bigger battle for me. My friends are far-flung, so I catch up with them on Facebook. It is so, so easy to find myself in that comparison trap. I am following Jessica’s advice to choose to celebrate. Another way to combat the facade of social media is to reach out in real, tangible ways – engage in conversations and be genuine, instead of observing and assuming.

    Q3> The number one source of my guilt is the fear of and feeling that I am taking time away from my family. I am dealing with that by finding extra pockets of time that are my own, and when I do take a few hours to myself, reminding myself over and over that this is good and healthy.

    Q4> “The buck stops with me…” I tend to believe this and behave this way. What a great reminder that I am not the be all, end all in my house, or anywhere. I need to proactively let go, delegate, share responsibility, and ask for help.

    • Dee… Great point about assuming. I have found that when I just observe & assume, I do what I call, “telling myself stories” about what other people’s lives are like…because I don’t really know the background facts, they are just fiction. Just another example of self talk running wild, or an imagination on fire. Needless to say, my life looks pretty boring in comparison…

    • Funny, Tina clued into the very word I did: assuming. That can be such a destructive exercise because it’s not based on truth but perception. You remind me that old habits die hard, and believing that self-care is a GOOD thing sometimes requires practice. I’m glad you’ve put your finger on the source of your guilt because now you’ll be able to address it :).

  4. I loved this section! I am so glad Jess wrote it, even though it didn’t come as easy to her. These topics are ones that I totally relate to!
    Q1- I think the easiest way to deal with negative self-talk is to just call yourself out on it and say “Stop it!” Then reflect on what the truth really is. When I find it hard to see what that truth is, I consciously have to think what does my Heavenly Father think! And go from there … it is a process, and it is not easy, but it is needed.
    Q2, 3, & 4 – I don’t feel the guilt as much as I compare and judge myself and others. I loved the point of changing the comparing to celebrating and the appreciating the good in your own life to combat the feelings of jealousy. I really think you need both parts for it to work. Celebrating others is great, but it doesn’t eliminate the negative self-feeling; gratitude does. I love in the book how she just flat out states that the comparing and judging do no good. I agree that it is a conscious decision that you have to make to change your thinking.

    • So much of this is up to us, isn’t it Lacey? Now that these thoughts are on our radar, we can deal with them. So much of it is adjusting our focus in order TO change our thinking!!

  5. Q1. Sarah said, “You would never speak to someone else the way you speak to yourself.” Did listening to the Bloom girls’ conversation make you aware of your own negative self-talk? What are some practical ways to combat this kind of negative thinking?

    This is incredibly hard for me. Its something that I am combatting in all areas of my life, something that I am exploring through counseling every week. It’s so hard to look at yourself objectively and be ok with the person you are. It’s hard to remember to love yourself enough to etend the same grace you give others to yourself. One of the tools I try to use is to try to remember to look at myself the way that God sees me. Another I try to use (which is probably the best thing to keep me from outwardly verbalizing my negative self worth) is to remember that my son and daughter are watching how I treat myself, and they will learn to treat themselves the same way. However, it doesn’t stop the internal dialog…..

    Q2. What is a bigger battle for you: comparisons with other women online or in real life? Leigh discussed practical steps she’s taken to minimize comparing herself to others; what suggestions can you add to help end this destructive habit?
    I try to remember that I have been given the life I have from God. He knew my family needed my exact skills and qualities. I TRY to remember that while my house does’t meet the same standards as someone elses, or my cookies aren’t as pretty or whatever it is that I am wishing I did/could do/could be/had that I have other things- things just as nice, special and unique. But that doesn’t stop Satan from planting seeds of envy in my heart from time to time.

    Q3. In Chapter 3, Jessica asks you to describe how you “grapple with guilt.” Steps to overcoming that false guilt we so often assume include giving yourself permission to pursue your passions and extending grace to yourself. Tell us what this looks like for you.
    I wish I could tell you that I know what it looks like for me, because I haven’t found a way to let go of that guilt. I am getting somewhat better at certain things- I attend a weekly Bible Study. I don’t feel the least bit guilty about it, because I know that the knowledge that I am gaining far outweighs the couple of hours I am away from home. That knowledge will further my walk with Christ, will bring me closer to Him and give me more insight. In the end I will be a beter mom and better wife. I will have more knowledge of our God to share with my children.

    But when it comes to a “gorls night”, or taking time to run on the treadmill, or whatever I feel incredibly guilty because there are so many other things to get done….

    Q4. Time to tell us your one favorite quote or takeaway from this section. Have three favorite? Close your eyes and pick one to share!
    Practice gratitude. When you sense yourself comparing, turn that comparison on its head to a message of gratitude.

    A heart of gratitude for what we have, that’s what I need to remember most. That we have been given so many blessings from God and it would be easy to squander those by succombing to the “green-eyed-monster”, by griping about what we dont have, by missing what we do have, right now, while we are pressuring ourselves to get to “the next thing”. I need to remember slow down, to open my eyes and see the beauty in my life.

    • Nicki, I love your thoughts on thinking of ourselves how God thinks of us and realizing and believing that God picked us to do our part and to use OUR personal gifts for His purpose. He created us to be precisely how we are and will work with us to change anything he wants changed in us.

    • Nicki…loved the image of the green eyes monster leading us to grip & miss what we do have and pressuring us on to the next thing, while missing the thing right in front of us! 🙂

    • ((hugs)) to you. I can feel the weight of your struggle but I see you taking steps to be closer to the Lord and to see and celebrate the wonderful things right in your path. This is hard! And you’re doing it!!

      Green eyes can be lethal; I wish I didn’t understand from the inside out, but I do. I’m looking for the beauty right there with ya. 🙂

  6. Q3. I’ve decided in the last week or so that when I begin the day by pursuing self-care, I tend to feel less guilty than when I try and shove it in mid-day or late afternoon. I begin a culture of including self-care as a part of my day by putting it first. I actually feel less selfish with that method!
    Q4. “No one is keeping score but you.” (Drop the mic)

    • Lauren, I LOVE the “drop the mic”! 🙂

      I agree, putting self-care first in the day is very important! For me, it is spending time in the Word with my devotional, reading my IF:Equip and She Reads Truth devotional posts, listening to worship music on the way to work, those are the things that bring my joy and really set me up for a great day! I can tell when I don’t make time for those self-care items in my life, I’m just a grump!

  7. Q1. I loved this insight from Jessica. It’s so true — we are snarky in our self talk. One of the ways that I combat this is that I memorized Philippians 4:8, and whenever I catch myself “going there,” I try to turn the tide by stopping, quoting that verse, and then replacing those thoughts with what is true — reminding myself that I am a dearly loved daughter of the King, and I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

    Q2. Both, I think. — Online, I’ve made a conscious decision to only try to follow other bloggers that I have a real relationship with — who actually know me and have taken an interest in who I am as a person and developed a friendship with me. I mean, I love Boo Mama, but she has no idea who I am, so I unfollowed her on Instagram, and I may visit her blog when I have a free evening, but I am not subscribed to her blog. — In real life, I think I am more choosy about who “share treasure” with. My close friends who know my stuff are “real people” who are honest about their short comings and extend grace. I don’t have the energy for type A perfectionists and legalistic people these days, so I give them a wider berth and hold things closer to the vest around people who don’t encourage my spirit.

    Q3. I really appreciated how Jessica encouraged us to “turn moments of comparison into catalysts for celebration.” Yes! More of this please! — One thing about guilt that this chapter didn’t really cover, but that I deal with quite a bit is people in your life who try to make you feel guilty because you aren’t meeting their expectations. I have learned that I am not responsible to meet everyone’s expectations, and that some people will never be happy no matter how hard you try to appease them. So, I have learned to “let go” of their resentment, and I try to love on them as best as I can (and within the boundaries that my husband and I have established for how we are going to live our lives.) I have learned to say, “I am doing the best that I can, and if that is not enough for you, then I am sorry, but that is just the way it is going to be. It doesn’t mean that I don’t love you, or that you are not important to me.”

    Q4. “Relationships are the currency that matters, not the conditions of our homes” (p. 48). 🙂

    • You are a wise woman, Lyli Dunbar. I see you putting your money where your mouth is, not just giving lip service to your faith but practicing wisdom. Well done.

      Also, I love what else your brought into the discussion about guilt! Yes, I can think of situations where others have tried to rain on my parade…and your counsel is a great course in setting boundaries. Thank you for sharing that (and all your comment)!

    • I’m going to put your comments in Q1 into practice. Thank you for the insight!

  8. I absolutely loved the quote or phrasing, you wouldn’t speak to your family or friends the way you speak to yourself. It is so true! I’ve been saying this to myself when that negative voice creeps in!

    I don’t struggle with online discontentment, it is definitely face to face comparison. My two year old is a handful and I just feel so inadequate around our friends. I know their likely not, but I just imagine they are judging me for being an awful parent. I am trying to focus on the great things about MY son and our unique relationship. Instead of wishing me had it together like someone else.

    For me, letting go of that self induced guilt looks a lot like giving myself permission to turn on a movie somedays and maybe sew or edit photos. Write when the kids do down instead of deep cleaning something!

    My favorite takeaway from this was definitely, the part where they discuss praising someone for doing something instead of developing resentment. I love this concept. I’m really working it to apply it to my life.

  9. I resonate with Leigh. As a single woman, my default is to do everything myself and not give other people an opportunity to help me. I grapple with guilt when I spend time on my fringe hour activities instead of working.

    • Angela,

      Doesn’t even hearing someone say those things help? Leigh adds so much to our study (just wait for the rest of the videos!!) 🙂

  10. I have to first start my comment by saying I am proud to say I am
    currently taking some time for myself IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY to post
    this 🙂 We are expecting bad weather here and schools got out early.
    My kids are playing happily downstairs (for now) and I am grateful I
    have given myself grace and permission to enjoy this free time.

    Anyway,
    Q1. Yes! To be honest, I have not given that much thought yet other
    than to be aware that I do it. Once I develop a better awareness habit I
    hope to come up with some ways to combat it 🙂

    Q2. I compare myself with women online. My job allows me a lot of alone time so the opportunity to compare is not there as often. However, I cannot say that I don’t struggle with real life comparisons either. I love the suggestion that was given (if I am recalling it from the right segment of the conversation) to celebrate what other women do rather than to compare or judge them. I had an opportunity to do that simply through prayer today. As I noticed myself thinking (and judging someone) that Holy Spirit reminded me of what I was doing. So I decided to pray for this person, thanking God for her, instead of continuing in my own way of thinking. Like it was stated in the video, it is not something that you will necessarily feel like doing but it is what can be done to help develop a positive habit.

    Q3. In the last 24 hours that means I come home from work and picking up my kids and allow myself some time, unspecified if possible but at least 20 minutes, to just do what I want. Before I would have the kids unpack and get them settled, quickly change clothes, only to just right into the kitchen and house work. Then, before I knew it, it was 7:30 and it was time to get the kids ready for bed. This was not a happy thought, as I felt exhausted and still had things on my “list” to do. That is not the case so much now. After I give myself time to rest I am energized and ready for the task(s) ahead, which, for me, usually involved tackling the kitchen for dinner/next day lunch prep, dishwasher, homework, possible laundry and/or cleaning and any emails/bills I need to tend to.

    Q4. “If it isn’t ‘Heck yes!’ then it’s a no”

    • Ohhh, I so hope this continues for the next 24 hours and then the next and then… 🙂

      Praying for people before judgment or bitterness or comparison can sneak in is SO wise.

  11. Q1. Several years ago I read Joyce Meyers’ “Power Thoughts,” which was such an insightful book! I’ve never truly considered the conversations going on in my own mind, and have been more attuned to my thoughts since reading the book. That is to say, though, that I’ve still got a long way to go in this area! Depending on whatever the situation is, I try to remind myself of who I am in the Lord, who He calls me, and dwell on Truth instead of lies. It’s hard, but I’m learning.

    Q2. Since social media is such a big conversation in the circles/women that I follow, I’m learning to be much more intentional with my time using it and who I follow. With that, I think I struggle more with comparing myself with women in real life. I see another woman right here, in front of me, clearly doing a better job than me (insert sarcasm here), and it’s sometimes more difficult for me to pull myself out of that mentality.

    Q3. For me this looks like learning to say “no,” a bit more often, as we read about in chapter 1. I recognize that I tend to feel guilty if someone asks something of me, and for whatever reason I don’t/can’t fulfill their request. Again, still a work in progress.

    Q4. Favorite quote, chapter 3 page 64: “We have this drive for belonging, & somehow we think that doing one more thing will help us belong, or be accepted, or be admired. We need to find our identities and belonging in Christ, not in how we measure up to everyone else. – Holly”

    • That quote will jar you. Or at least it did me. Thanks for reminding me of it.

      Battles are won and lost right between our ears. Yes…thoughts are powerful.

  12. Q2: I think my biggest battle with comparison lies in both scenarios, both online and in person! As the gals discussed, social media provides a facade, a 2×2 picture to hide behind to allow the world to see you only in the light that we want to be seen in. I think that that helps me to not compare because they are women just like me and we all have our good and bad days, we all have our own battles to face. In person, I find myself comparing to others thinking what have they done differently that I haven’t done? Why do they have the comfortableness of a bigger income to allow them to do the things that they want to do? Why haven’t opportunities fell into my lap that I would love and be thankful for? But, then I have to remember that God has a plan and a purpose for me. He is daily working on my story and He knows what is in the future for me. I have to trust Him and be content and have joy with the season I am in and the journey that I am on. Be thankful every single day that He has blessed me with!

    • You know, Mary Alice, sometimes that’s nearly impossible. Yes, it’s the right answer, but it’s HARD and it seems important to acknowledge that…and give ourselves a break when we struggle. I’m thankful when we have reminders of God’s goodness and purpose in our lives, that is why the Body is SO important–to keep singing that song we sometimes forget!!

      🙂

  13. Negative self-talk is a constant battle that I struggle with. I believe this has to do with my brokenness. The biggest battle I have is with the younger women I presently go to college with. I feel that I am not on the same level with them when it comes to my beliefs. I have a 24 year old young woman I connected with last semester. She texts me encouraging bible verses every other day. I can honestly say that I would love to be more like her. So strong and confident in her walk with God. The biggest guilt that I feel is being totally disorganized. I lack the concentration and motivation that I need to do the things that I need to do around the house. I am a single mother and I have to give myself permission not to be so perfect. It has taken me close to nine years to pursue my passions. One of the biggest things that I want to do is to write a devotional someday. I have to trust in my ability to write. My favorite quote is this……Remember that change doesn’t happen overnight. God has a great purpose and plan for my life. I just have to be patient and wait on Him.

  14. Choosing a favorite quote is so hard since I highlighted a LOT! But one of my faves is from chapter 3, under “Give Yourself Grace”, list item #3:
    “Slow down. Take a few minutes each day to slow down. Take in the world around you and breathe. This simple practice will center you, focus you, and bring peace to your life.”

    I have started doing this regularly at work and at home. When the busyness of life and the pressures of the day start to feel suffocating, I make myself stop whatever I am doing, walk away if I can preferably outside, and even if it is for just a minute or two literally, I stop. I take a deep breath and exhale. Look around me, find something beautiful, something interesting. Just that brief, simple act is amazingly reviving and refreshing and I can then continue with the task at hand and in a much better frame of mind.

    I am trying to put this into practice regularly even before I reach the stressed out level – just to take a moment to slow down, to breathe, to find beauty in unexpected places.

  15. I felt like I could really relate to chapters 2 and 3. I have definitely compared myself to others, judged others, and have felt not good enough and guilty if I take time for myself.

    However, I have come to realize that everyone has different passions and different skills. When following your friends on Facebook or even seeing what your friends do in real-time it can seem like they are doing so much more and are so much better than you because you do not take into account just them, but everyone as a whole. You may think… “Sally is such an awesome artist, Amanda blogs and has a passion for cooking gourmet meals, Stephanie has a zillion projects she is always working on, Melanie is a great mops leader and has super polite kids.” Suddenly that becomes “Sally, Amanda, Stephanie, and Melanie ALL are great artists, can cook gourmet meals, have super polite kids, etc. And I can do none of those!” When really, I just have different skills. Of course they are not going to post or talk about their laundry that has been sitting in the dryer for 4 days (I have done that!) or they had a job interview and totally bombed it. Social media is the worst about only seeing the best of everyone, which makes you think they have it better or are better than you.

    I wish we could all stop competing and judging and just be real with each other. And leave Facebook for connecting with friends and sharing photos of your kids to grandparents! =-)

    The one thing I have not overcome in these chapters is definitely guilt. I cannot relax and I feel guilty if I try to relax when I still have other things I “should” be doing. And of course I still struggle with the comparison and judging, but can usually bring myself back to reality when I remind myself I am just good at different things. Like teaching science or organizing (which I would be better at if I felt less guilty about spending money of supplies to organize…) lol!

  16. On page 44, Jessica says, “So when we fail to live up to our own expectations, we think it is because of a problem within us instead of recognizing the very real limitations that come with having finite resources of time, money, and talent.” Years ago I had a working friend who would make an extremely long list of things she “had” to get done on Saturday. When she couldn’t do everything on the list she felt bad about herself. I told her that just because she writes something on a list doesn’t mean she has time to do it. It is easy to recognize in someone else the tendency to expect perfection, but not quite so easy to see it in ourselves, or to forgive ourselves when we can’t (and we can’t) live up to that expectation. Thanks for the reminder, Jessica! I need to post these “takeaways” around my house!

  17. Thank you, ladies!

    For me, I think that the main reason that taking time out for my things can bring such guilt isn’t necessarily because I feel guilty about spending time on myself, but because of all of the things that are left undone as a result. It’s not that it feels wrong to do them, it’s more-so that it feels wrong to prioritize them. sigh.

    Also, I’m really good at projecting my feelings onto others. I would feel bad if I didn’t get the laundry done, so I project those feelings onto my family — so, my mental dialog is that, of course, they’ll feel as if I’m not productive enough if I don’t get the laundry done (or whatever). In reality, I live with a bunch of menfolk…they don’t even notice these things! 🙂 I need to get better about not projecting my negative self-talk onto others.

    A couple of years ago, I was reading Rom. 12:15 (“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn”), and it struck me how often we skip past the ‘rejoicing with others in their successes’ part, and move right on to the ‘mourning with others’ part. We’re always good about sharing each other’s grief, but the Word tells us to rejoice with one another in our successes as well. One thing that I’ve noticed is that when I choose to do that, the Lord is faithful to allow the feelings to follow…and, not just that…I’ve noticed that making a habit of choosing that attitude, has changed my heart from the get-go. Meaning, more often than not, I genuinely feel delighted for others. The heart is lighter when we can be each other’s cheerleaders, and support systems. The enemy wants us to compare, and compete…because it ultimately distracts our focus from God.

    One of the quotes that I underlined is on page 59: “Think how life would look if we approached our struggles with grace instead of guilt.” What a change in prospective that provides. I want to welcome that grace and give guilt the boot. 🙂

  18. These two chapters have spoken so much life into me and I’m constantly amazed at how many women share the same struggles that I have too.

    Q1) I am guilty of negative self talk. The things that I think of, I would never say to someone else. I tell myself that I need to really watch those calories today, that something is wrong with me because I am introverted, that I just work a normal job and God will probably not use me in a way that matters, etc. These are very destructive thoughts. When I beat myself down, it makes other peoples’ lives always look more beautiful and exciting. What I am trying to do is “stay in my lane (thanks Leigh!)” and focus on embracing the person God created. As the saying goes, “God doesn’t make junk,” and I want to fully embrace His love for me. I’m convinced that once I embrace His love, mercy, and grace towards me, then I will truly be able to love myself and stop comparing myself to His other creations (other women). He made each one of us unique. Many of the devotions from inCourage lately have had such affirming themes in them and I’m using those to combat the negative self talk. This weekend, I plan to write several quotes from the book and the devotions on my mirror. I’m also going to memorize scripture.

  19. Am feeling incredibly inspired and comforted by everyone’s comments – thanks! {{hug}}

    Tobi’s statement re: her job giving a bird’s eye view “behind the facade” really resonated. Working in psychiatric hospitals showed me that as well … big time. A life-changing look.

    I love the affirming of each other as women – vocally! … also, it helps me to have a couple of very close, longtime (decades!!) friends with whom I can vent and explore the harder stuff in a constructive way.

  20. Love the quote “You would never speak to someone else….” I think I’m going to think on this as I plan next week’s morning devotions with my daughters.

  21. Q1.One of the best ways I can combat the negative thinking about myself is either to start thinking of things I have to be grateful for, or to start quoting scripture to myself and praying. It helps remind me that I’m where I’m at for a reason.

    Q2. I think the bigger battle would be comparing myself to women online. When people post online you’re not seeing the whole story. It’s easy to think their lives are perfect and they’re perfect. In real life I get to see more of the imperfections and can realize we’re all battling our own struggles.

    Q3. I don’t know. I struggle with guilt when I take time for myself. I’m still trying to work this one out!

    Q4. You cannot be everything for everyone.

  22. I just got to the video today. I often feel that I am failing in so many areas of my life (Ok, MOST of them), and it’s all due to my own unrealistic expectations. My husband, who is the kindest man on earth, doesn’t care if ANYTHING on my never-ending to-do list gets done, and even if dinner isn’t made, because he will make it. He cares that I am happy, and well. If I am strung out because I’ve piled all these unrealistic expectations on myself, because the “buck stops here”, then I am neither happy, nor well.

    A lot of if goes back to being the oldest of a gaggle of siblings, with working parents who expect far too much at way too young of an age. That stuck with me, and I think it is something I’m really trying to work on. Asking for help. Letting things go. Not caring so much about what’s not getting done, but focusing on people, and self-care.

    There chapters were great, and I underlined sooo many things. LOVING this book so far.

  23. Yes, I agree that I have negative self-talk. Knowing how common it is, makes me wonder if that is one of the biggest attack, the enemy tries to lie to each of us about, to keep us from the amazing plans God has for our lives. Praying God teaches us to cover the negative self talk (lies) with Truth from His Word. Gods from God to each of us in His Word: “You are so beautiful my Beloved, so perfect in every part” – Song of Songs 4:7. and “We were created anew in Christ Jesus, so we could do the good things He planned for us long ago” – Ephesians 2:10. Amen!
    I’m not sure about question #2, that’s a tough one. Maybe online.
    #3- It helps me to not feel guilty to know that I am doing what I was created to do: pray, encourage, and write, and help my husband with music ministry.
    Q4 -Favorite takaway~ remembering that some things are only for a season and I can’t do everything. Like right now, my husband and I are so busy~ mainly with involvement in church and ministry, that we don’t have time to cook from home much – so we eat fast food a lot~ mainly Jason’s Deli and Jimmy John’s. Anyway, I need to not feel guilty and trust that it is a season.

  24. Q1 I am very hard on myself and I do find myself talking in ways that I would never to others. I have been trying to reframe my thoughts though. So instead of them being so extreme, I try to find a more reasonable truth to speak to. Restating it so it isn’t so general (as in I never) but in the present tense and more true (today I am having trouble). Also, I have to catch myself and ask who is defining the standards or whose standards an I living up to.
    Q2 To help to deal with comparison, I have to slow my thoughts down. Like way down. I have to start making a list of things I am grateful for. The things I do have and that God has made unique about my life. I also have to remember that there is a story behind every picture that doesn’t necessarily look like that picture. The suggestion in the book to celebrate others when you feel yourself comparing is something that I am already putting into practice and it is making a big difference.
    Q3 This is hard. But I think once you put one foot in front of the other and say yes to yourself a time or two you start to realize how much better a mom/wife/worker/etc that it makes you. You realize how much more you are at peace you are how you give off that atmosphere to those around you then you want to make it a habit.
    Q4 Chapter 2: “Relationships are the currency that matters, not the conditions of our homes.” That was convicting for this neat freak.
    Chapter 3: “…this kind of guilt is a purposeless, wasted emotion. No one is keeping score but you. All that this guilt does is serve your own image of who you think you should or should not be. Over time, guilt will turn to other negative emotions…” This put the pressure I put on myself and my harsh thoughts in proper selfish perspective.

  25. 1. I have a lot of “negative chatter” dialogue going on in my thoughts. I know this is from the enemy, and is something I need to just give to God and let what He thinks about me replace those thoughts.

    2. Online comparisons are more influential for me. I work from home, and so a lot of my contact with others during the week is online. I fall into comparison trap easily, but it’s something I’ve made great strides in! This past week I fell into that comparison trap over something so silly, but I was aware of it so I was able to overcome the negative thoughts!