Originally published on (in)courage last year, this post by Dawn Camp was part of our “10 Tips to be the Friend You Wish You Had” series, and we knew we wanted to share it again with you here! You can find the image below, plus the rest of the “10 Tips” images from the series, on our “Share It” page.
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I am not a fighter. I’m a peacemaker by nature — a keeper of secrets, a respecter of privacy. I ruffle few feathers. Diplomatic, that’s me. My awareness of boundaries and personal privacy sometimes keeps people at a distance — not too close — even friends. Yes, sadly, even friends.
But in good friendships, like good marriages, disagreements happen. There’s a saying: If two people agree on everything, one of them is unnecessary. I don’t want friendships that wither, stifled by a distaste for conflict, where one of us feels unnecessary, where opposing positions aren’t discussed.
Some women possess a gift for encouraging others to open up more than they would otherwise. Sometimes you have to gently probe to take a relationship beyond shallow waters. I want to be the girl who’s not afraid to ask hard questions, who digs deeper, leans in close and listens long to words heart-spoken, who inspires trust, and encourages truth and honesty.
Differences in opinion can divide, but friendship is worth the effort. Friendship is worth fighting for.
Some relationships are ready-made: your kids play for the same team, you attend the same Bible study, you take your little ones to the same playgroup. Others require work, when distance and schedules separate rather than connect.
Will you make the effort to maintain a friendship? To actively pursue it? It might be as simple as a timely text, a card in the mail, a phone call while running errands. Be the one to initiate a girls night out. Just don’t fail to express the simple but powerful message: I’m thinking of you.
Some of you may be in a season where friendships seem scarce. Maybe you’re new to your area, tangled in toddlers, or working long hours outside the home. Maybe you’re self-sufficient and tend to keep to yourself. Even the most independent — and certainly the most isolated — among us need community.
We worship a relational God who calls us to serve one another. He endows us with gifts — encouragement, hospitality, giving, wisdom — which can be expressed fully within the bonds of friendship.
While building long-term friendships is always a goal, I recognize that sometimes God places the right people in our paths for an hour or a day. Recently a woman waved me to her table in a crowded mall food court when she saw I couldn’t find a place to sit. I enjoyed 45 minutes of conversation with her and her friend. We talked about motherhood, education, and how we celebrate Christmas. I heard words that I needed to hear and shared a lovely lunch with two ladies I’ll probably never see again. God moved in the middle, aware that I needed connection more than solitude.
Are you in a season rich with community or is it time to buckle down and build or maintain relationships? The effort is worthy.
Friendship is worth the fight.
by Dawn Camp, My Home Sweet Home
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(in)courage,
Thanks for sharing Dawn’s post and the “10 Tips for Friendships”. I know that I love getting a card in the mail or even a text on my phone that tells me that someone is thinking of me. I am blessed to have friends that lift me up in that way. I’ve learned that in order to have good friends, I need to be a good friend and sometimes that takes hard work and intention! It also takes listening more than we speak. Sometimes the best question we can ask a friend is, “How, specifically, can I pray for you?” Friendship involves willingness to roll up your sleeves and get your hands dirty…I pray that when I get too caught up in my own life, God will give me nudges and reminders (like this post today) on how I can be a true friend.
Blessings,
Bev
Hi, Bev! Guess who finally sat down at the piano last night? Pulled out some easy hymn arrangements from long ago and clunked my way through! But I did enjoy the harmonies–even when I didn’t play them quite right. And I smiled, thinking of you, the blogging friend who encouraged me to make some music again!
Nancy,
Yay for you!! I am very, very sporadic about playing, but I’ve played enough to know that my piano is in desperate need of tuning lol.
Have a blessed day,
Bev
Great words by Dawn! Thank you for sharing this post again. Friendship is worth the effort!
I need more community. Thank you for writing this
Thank you, Dawn, for the pep-talk to keep our friendships intact, to express those all-important messages: I care about you, and I’m thinking about you. We know friendships are important to our emotional and spiritual well-being, but it’s easy to put off to tomorrow that text, card, invitation, etc. Lord, help me to serve you as a friend to others!
I know friendship is super important. I don’t know how I’d get through work without some good friends to confide in and lay my burdens on. They are good friends and I take the time to listen to them also! I pray for them daily!!
I am a person who loves getting cards, and little things in the mail. When God puts people on my mind I will call, send cards, make a meal or whatever I feel needs doing!! I’m fortunate to have a covenant friend with whom I can talk about anything! We joke some, but talk seriously about life and how our aging parents are getting along!!
Blessings and thanks for sharing!! 🙂