Another end-of-year awards program and here I sit, yet again, in the midst of other moms. The showcase begins, and I brace myself for roll call. The “A-Honor Roll” kids parade proudly across the stage while everyone offers a standing ovation.
But not my boy.
Next on the list of winners?
Best Music Student, Best Art Student, and the Most Improved.
Outstanding Citizenship, Perfect Attendance, and Best Overall Boy and Girl Student.
I’m pretty sure these are the exact same names we heard last year. I should be cheering for the kids on stage, but my eyes divert back to the moms on my right and left. The same moms I see year after year. And I wonder what I did wrong, or maybe what I didn’t do at all, that determined my son’s certificate-free destiny.
At this moment, I would love nothing more than to watch him prance across that stage. One look at my face would tell everyone what I Iong to say, “That’s my boy!”
But I won’t have that moment. Another mom will. Obviously, I needed to do more.
Read more.
Study more.
Care more.
Nurture more.
Be more.
At the root of this compulsion-to-compare lurks ugly things I don’t want to reveal — jealousy, envy, greed. Because it’s not about them at all. Not about other moms, other kids, or even my son. It’s about me and my battle with measuring up.
My heart burns just seeing those words associated with me. I am a mom who wants desperately to teach her son to be confident in his uniqueness. I am a mom who wants her son to desire the accolades coming from his Heavenly Father, not man. God created my remarkable boy in His image, after all. But comparison causes him confusion.
When I compare, my son copies others. When I turn toward God, his true self shines.
And so does mine.
“Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.” {Psalm 139:16a}
I have substance because God created an incomparable me.
Our unformed substance did not consist of jealousy, envy and greed; although God knew we would struggle with these things. What He saw in us was something more, much more.
It’s time we found value in our substance, so I invite you to take a seat with me in the auditorium. Yes, the chairs are uncomfortable at times, but with each passing awards program we are . . .
learning more,
praying more,
trusting more.
Not so we can be more, or so our kids can achieve more, but so we can become who God saw from the beginning. Valuable. Incomparable. Wonderful.
And besides, awards programs are much more fun when we cheer each other on. So, will you accept my invitation? Have a seat next to me today and join this little community of moms.
Now that deserves a standing ovation.
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Related: Exhale and invite your friends over for a warm mug of cocoa served in these inspirational mugs: You are braver than you even imagine!
Leave a Comment
Samantha Landrus says
It’s a struggle for me when my kids don’t receive recognition for their truly amazing selves. Thank you for the reminder to look to their heavenly father that they can shine authentically! Congrats on your incourage post!
Kristine Brown MTY says
Thank you Samantha! Yes, and it’s hard for me to admit my struggles, but God is so faithful to show His strength when I am weak. And now that my son is 15 (yikes), I see the amazing young man he is becoming. God is faithful!
Paige Givens says
So encouraging! We are fearfully and wonderfully made. Thanks for these precious words!
Kristine Brown MTY says
You are very welcome, Paige. Yes, He had us completely designed before we were even formed. Amazing! Have a blessed day:)
Kaylie Hodges says
I just read this on my feed this morning and then checked it again on the RaRaLink-up! I am so guilty of comparing my kids and measuring myself. I love this “When I turn to God his true self shines.”
Kristine Brown MTY says
Thanks Kaylie! I think we are all guilty of this on some level:) Thank God for his grace and understanding. And thank you for your kind comment!
Karis says
Thank you for this, it was exactly the word I needed to hear today!
Kristine Brown MTY says
You are so welcome, Karis. So glad it spoke to you this morning. This is an area where God is constantly speaking to my heart. I’m a work-in-progress! Have a wonderful day!
Marty says
Yessssss. Great words this morning! Thank you!
Kristine Brown MTY says
You’re welcome Marty. I’m thankful this message encouraged you today!
Joanne Peterson says
I have a son we adopted and from his early trauma is the child who just plain struggles. I struggle, and I do work hard and need to work hard with him with different issues, then the overwhelmed feeling comes and then I back off.
I had been thinking about just this morning he would do better if I would do more. This was the encouragement I really needed this morning. To focus more on Our Heavenly Father, and then can see my son with different eyes. I can be more relaxed and let God be God, and enjoy the accolades of the other moms and their kids.
Thank you!
Kristine Brown MTY says
Joanne, you touch my heart today with your comment. I will be praying for you and your sweet boy:) God has a special plan for him, and I have no doubt that God will show His faithfulness in your lives. May you both be blessed as you continue on your special journey as a wonderful mom!
Kristi Woods says
I understand this. I sooooo understand this, Kristine. Comparison is an ugly deception. It slides in under the radar. It certainly did with me until the Lord opened my eyes to its lie a couple of years ago. Thank you for writing candidly about it and the encouragement to be vigilant.
Kristine Brown MTY says
Thanks for those kind words, Kristi. It is an area where I have to be prayerful all the time, or like you said, it creeps in undetected. But when we look at what God’s word says about us – amazing! We know we are special to Him:)
Winter says
I have struggled with this, especially this year with my daughter struggling through first grade. I know her capabilities but to be told she is behind is difficult. As a mom I put more on her and myself, but this is such a great reminder that we are created perfectly and she has no need to measure up to the others in her class.
Kristine Brown MTY says
That’s so true, Winter. As a teacher, I can honestly say that we cannot always measure a child’s potential or capabilities in a classroom. But God knows, and so do you! Blessings to you and your little girl today!
Jenni DeWitt says
Comparison is such an easy road to walk down. But like you said, so unhealthy! I know, for myself, that I have to daily, intentionally try to remember that the only approval that matters comes from God, not the world.
Kristine Brown MTY says
You are right, Jenni. It is a daily thing for sure! It’s awesome what God can do when we keep our mind focused steadfastly on Him. Thank you for the comment!
Kim S says
Kristine, I am so excited to see you on encourage today!!!! I am standing right there beside you friend clapping loudly. Love you! Kim Stewart
Kristine Brown MTY says
Thanks for the encouragement Kim! Blessings, friend:)
Brenda says
I’m seconding Kim’s words. 🙂 Yay for you, Kristine. 🙂
I thought that I recognized the name, so I went to find a picture to confirm.
Great job! ((( clap ))))
Kristine Brown MTY says
Awe, thanks Brenda. You are so sweet! Love my writing buddies!
Crystal says
I can struggle with the more of this world … the doing more (reading, studying, striving) when I need to simply rest in being the me He created me to be. Encouraging words, Kristine. : )
Kristine Brown MTY says
Yes, me too. I often ask myself, “Am I doing enough?” Thankfully, God is teaching me that HE is enough. Thanks, Crystal!
Abby says
Kristine, I am so happy to see you here today. I was sitting right there with you in that auditorium and have fallen victim to the comparison game often. Oh, how it steals our joy. I am joining hands with you today as we embrace and celebrate the unique identities God gave us and our children. Thank you so much for this. Beautiful, my friend.
Kristine Brown MTY says
Thank you, Abby. I always find it encouraging to hear that other moms have felt those same emotions. Sometimes I think, “Am I the only one who feels this way?” But there is strength in the encouragement we get from each other, and I am so thankful for that.
Lisa Brown says
Thank You for being so real. I needed this read today.
Kristine Brown MTY says
Absolutely, Lisa. So glad these words resonated with you today. Blessings:)
liz says
Such wonderful words, Kristine! I don’t want to copy others, I want to let my true self shine, for me and for my boys! Thanks for reminding me where to turn!
Kristine Brown MTY says
Blessings to you and your boys, Liz!
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Kristine,
Delighted to be linked up next to you at Suzanne Eller’s place and then to see you here on (in)courage…can we give YOU a standing ovation. That’s what every mom deserves who tries to instill in her children God’s values. Yes, we get consumed in the comparison trap – we’re all guilty – but ultimately our children were God’s children first and He cares even more about them than we do. We can be there to cheer them on and to remind them that they are fearfully and wonderfully made. Carry on good mother…
Bev
Bev
Kristine Brown MTY says
Oh, thank you for those kind words, Bev! Yes, we are their cheerleaders, aren’t we? Encouraging them to pursue whatever it is God has placed on their hearts to do. My son is now 15, and I see him finding his God-given talents more and more every day. Being a mom is such a blessing!
Jenny says
I so struggle with this. Comparison is poison! I feel guilty that I do this to my children! How do you find God in moments when you are comparing? Is there a certain scripture you say to yourself? I want to have a tool to stop my thoughts for when I start to compare/feel insecure. Thank you for your post!
Kristine Brown MTY says
Jenny, I love Psalm 139:14 and 139:16. They are easy to remember and call back to our minds when those doubts creep in! I know exactly how you feel. I am working on a book about this very subject right now, in fact. I believe it is a real struggle for all of us.
Mary says
Beautiful and anytime someone uses Psalm 139 I know the words were written just for me. I love that we are chosen and unique and the lessons we learn when we finally “get that” are so valuable. Here’s to celebrating being the best mom we can be!
Kristine Brown MTY says
Amen, Mary! We do need to celebrate and rejoice in the uniqueness God has given each one of us, and our kiddos!
Beth Williams says
Kristine,
It is so easy to play the comparison game. I’m not as smart, good, etc. I’ve heard those words play over and over again in my head. So much lately that
cry myself just thinking about it. Oh I know I may not be as good at nursing or other things, but I’m better at managing money, clerical work, etc. We as women need to stop the comparison game–especially when it comes to children. They need to look to God and be the unique person He made them to be. We should use our talents to the best of our ability for His kingdom!
Kristine Brown MTY says
So very true, Beth. Thank you for your comment!