About the Author

Jen writes from Barboursville, WV, where she lives with her husband and their teen son. She loves reading, fresh air, and spending time with her guys. Encouraging others in their walk with Christ is her favorite. Her blog, Girl Meets Grace, is where she shares her heart.

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  1. Thank you for sharing this, Jennifer. I know what it’s like to be the second-best friend, so I can imagine the courage it takes to talk about it in this way. You’re right … when it comes to friends in need, it’s not about us; it’s about them.

  2. Thank you. It can be painful to go through difficult things and watch so many of your friends make that assumption that another of your friends is coming alongside you to be what you need at that time. When we lost a little girl just hours after she was born a year and a half ago. I assumed that many friends went silent because it was too difficult a subject for them to talk about… either too painful or too awkward. But now I realize that many just thought that there might be others who would be taking care of us and were afraid they might be a nuisance. What I want people to realize is that even if you think you might be or that someone else has your friend covered, ask anyway. Chances are, they needed what you might be able to offer. It’s so difficult to go through tough things when on top of all it, you wonder what happened to all the friends you had. I actually found that there were a couple friends who I assume knew they weren’t my closest friend before our loss, yet they swooped in to care for us anyway, and I’ve come out of it with a deeper appreciation and closeness for/with them as a result. Friendship can be tricky and delicate even when crisis or suffering is not involved. All the more when it is. I’m glad you shared your thoughts about it. I hope many took it to heart and will remember the words here when they next see a friend in need. I know I will, so I appreciate the reminder. Even having gone through something that gave me first-hand experience, it’s easy to sit back and assume someone else has it covered… and I don’t want to do that.

  3. Jennifer,
    I may not be someone’s best friend, but take my cue from Jesus. I will almost always be the first to rush in with help. Hearing of a problem, major or minor, I want to do something. Last year I cooked meals for a good friend who had family in hospital a lot, got food together for an elderly neighbor who lost her young son, sent money anonymously to people going through trials. My God given gift is encouragement so I want you to know that I care–maybe I don’t understand the trial, but I care!!
    Blessings 🙂