About the Author

Shelly Calcagno is a Family Ministry Pastor from the Niagara Region of Canada. She loves to write, develop curriculum, speak, and is the author of a fun children’s book called Tini’s Tangles. Shelly enjoys being creative and loves a good DIY project from Pinterest, especially if mason jars and chalkboard...

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  1. Dear Shelly, As I was reading your thoughts I really felt what you were saying. But I do disagree with one point, and that is that what you described doesn’t just happen to people in the middle. I’m more near the end now and I feel like you . I want to be the person who has someone to mentor me, someone I don’t have to pretend with that I’m the ‘older’ Christian woman with years of wisdom to offer. Sometimes I want to be on the receiving end.
    So, thank you for expressing what I feel but am not brave enough to say to anyone.

    • HI Denise! Thanks for replying, and yes – I think at all stages we all long and need to have someone invest in us. I pray this week, you are abundantly blessed!

  2. I love this, Shelly–I think we could be twins! 🙂 I’m in the middle too (actually further into the middle than you are), an introvert, and a mentor to college girls. Just the other day I was thinking, “Boy, I could use an older woman to mentor me.” This stage of life is hard and confusing and sometimes a little sad, but I often (OFTEN!) think about what dear Liz Curtis Higgs said at the IF:Gathering last year. I was sitting in a room full of much younger women, wondering why God had called me there, and Liz stood up in the very last session and said something like, “I realize that God still has a place for me, because if I don’t speak up and tell you what’s coming, some of you young women will be really scared.” That has really influenced me to keep going, keep working, keep speaking up so that the women coming behind me won’t be so scared. Thanks for your transparency here! 😉

    • Hi Shelly! Thanks for your comment and YES, we need to share for those coming behind, I totally believe that! There is a place for us all! Have an amazing day! (twin)

  3. Shelly,
    I am a beginning middle, semi introvert and don’t have life figured out at all! I love having friends both on-line and skin! Life has been somewhat rough for me since last year. I asked God for spiritual whitespace and turning middle He saw my need and granted it! Now I can begin to dream big and have perhaps some of them come true!!! I feel more mature, outgoing, and more assured of myself than my 20 or 30something self was. Currently I am taking a sabbatical from all work to help assist in the care of my aging father. He is on hospice now. My hair s not gray (shocking as I’ve been through a lot)! We older women should try to mentor the younger ones and let them know what life is all about! Help them make the right choices!
    Blessings 🙂

    • Thank you Beth!! Blessings to you as you care for your father (and I think it’s ok to not have it all figured out!)

  4. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Very honest and refreshing. I totally thought that I was the only one that had one sided mentors. I pray that we may find great mentors that we can do real face to face life together. God bless!

    • Thanks Marissa! And yes, imagine if everyone found just one person to invest in! That would be powerful! Have a wonderful day!

  5. Thanks Ro! I’m ok with being the older woman, I just need an older woman too – to help me out! Thanks for sharing! And yes to being women of grace!