Standing four feet away from his target, my son tossed his fork into the kitchen sink. He didn’t see the juice glass already sitting there. I knew what was going to happen before it happened but didn’t have a spare second to stop it.
Crash!
The fork chiseled off a clean chunk of glass in the instant of contact.
Clink.
The crescent of glass snapped backward hitting what remained of its broken form, causing yet another break, which then resulted in several hairline cracks. As I removed the shards of glass from my sink, I thought about everything the glass and I had in common.
I remembered times in my life when an outside force took a piece of me clean off.
Hurled insults. Crash!
Failed attempts. Crash!
Unrequited love. Crash!
When a heart breaks, the jagged edges left from the initial blow often become agents of additional damage. It is human nature to want to either fight back or build a protective covering to decrease the chance of subsequent attacks. Sometimes both. And most times, these instinctual human reactions cut deeper than what was first dealt.
Self-hatred permeated. Clink.
Revenge plotted. Clink.
Walls erected. Clink.
All hairline fractures of the heart caused by a deeper hurt.
How easily damage brings damage. Brokenness brings brokenness. Pain brings more pain.
Sometimes the subtle scars from the secondary — and usually self-inflicted — wounds stay around much longer than initial heartache. The two emotions that aide the healing process of the hairline fractures of my heart are compassion and gratitude.
Compassion.
Compassion for the broken. Compassion toward those whose wounds were self inflicted. Compassion for the hardened woman whose jagged edges are causing hurt to others. Not excuses. Not a free pass. Not inaction. But an empathy for the person who aches. Some call it solidarity or a deep understanding that we were made to not only love God but to love each other. When I am vulnerable enough to accept my pain instead of pretend that it doesn’t exist, my compassion toward others grows and I become softer and stronger at the same time.
Gratitude.
Gratitude to the One who heals. To the One who seeks to restore the shattered. Gratitude to a loving and just God who is the only one with enough power to repair the damaged vessel. Gratitude to Jesus who allowed the outside world to break Him but did not allow those breaks to undermine His power, love, and authority. When I stand in awe of God for who He is and how vast He loves, I am overcome by thankfulness to belong to the most Holy of Holies and I am able to trust in Him for healing.
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name. Great is our Lord and mighty in power; His understanding has no limit.” {Psalm 147: 3-5, NIV}
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