You don’t forget the first time a boy calls you beautiful.
You don’t realize until years later that when he was whispering those words, he was permanently engraving them deep inside of you.
You don’t perceive the power that handful of syllables has.
Before he tells you, he looks at you. His eyes peer into yours, causing your face to flush red down to your toes. You half wonder if he’s aware of how he makes you blush. You don’t comprehend what’s happening. You don’t think. You just watch him while he says this to you.
I think you’re beautiful.
You lean into how you’re feeling: you’re a wildflower, freshly plucked. You’re a dainty ballerina. You’re a fuzzy Polaroid picture, the edges blurred, still in the midst of focusing.
You are feminine and beauty. Of course you are — he just said so himself.
You do? You think I’m beautiful?
The stuttered question comes out before you can stop it, and you turn your face down shyly, away from him. You want him to think you’re confident, not insecure.
Then he’s grasping your chin with his long fingers, turning your face back up to look into his eyes. He repeats what he told you before. Surely if he’s said the words a second time, he must believe it. They must be true.
I do. I think you’re beautiful.
You don’t forget the first time a boy calls you beautiful. You don’t forget the way your stomach swarmed warmly inside, or the lightness of your feet as you pulled yourself from him. You don’t forget, even after the day has ended and the season has changed and you don’t see one another anymore.
The power of his words — they changed everything for you.
Years later, when you finally understand that what the boy said about you doesn’t determine your identity, you think about Someone else’s words.
You often forget how Jesus calls you beautiful. You often forget His fingertips that formed yours, His breath that seeps from your lungs, His love that whispers: I think you’re beautiful. I do. I think you’re beautiful.
He’s not simply a boy who makes you blush, or turns you shy, or calls you pretty. He’s the Poet who created the universe. The Artist who made you worthy. The Writer who authored the story you’re living.
And He calls you beautiful.
So you lean back and breathe, His love filling you deeper than anyone else’s ever could.
You’re beautiful.
You close your eyes. You’re not stuttering anymore.
Do you think so, Jesus?
He’s strong and mighty and tender and precious. And He loves you. You begin to cry from the tenderness of it all.
I do. I think you’re beautiful.
So you sit at His feet, and He wipes your tears, and you remember how — even in the midst of your darkness and shame and fragility — He calls you beautiful.
by Aliza Latta
Aliza Latta
Sitting in my classroom this morning and after a very bad weekend of me questioning who I am and why I am in the situation that I am ( a very unhappy marriage of feeling worthless to and invisible to my husband) I opened this email first thing. As I try to hold back my tears, I tell myself, I am beautifully and wonderfully made in his image. Thank you for this, as it was so very much needed.
Robyn, you are never worthless, my dear! Don’t let anyone make you feel like that. You are adored! 🙂
Robyn, how I understand this place it seems that you are in. Our Lord loves us with an ever lasting love, call us beautiful, very good in His sight, fearfully and wonderfully made for the Lord doesn’t make anything wrong. You are beautiful, dear sister, so beloved 🙂 A wise sister once told me to stand in front of the mirror and declare the love that the King of all has for us-do this for yourself today, let yourself see what He sees. So many prayers and hugs to you 🙂
Robin,
I hope you don’t mind me sharing two resources I found hugely helpful as I struggled to hold onto myself in marriage:
Boundaries in Marriage and Growing Yourself Up.
I have read and reread these books!
Praying for you!
Robyn, I am in a similar place, struggling with who I think I am and who God says I am and who family sees me as. I build myself up with Psa 139. Fearfully and wonderfully made! Be blessed with these words. Praying for you.
Robyn, it’s a hard thing to believe sometimes, isn’t it? I’m so sorry for how you are feeling. I’m praying for you now… that God would give you a glimpse of how he sees you: worthy, so, so worthy.
What a tear jerker!!!! And a much needed one. As I was reading I was thinking I never had that moment to recall. Or, if I did I have forgotten. . .so it wasn’t unforgettable.
But I do have a God. . .and often times I feel unworthy. And lately I imagine his love is so much more than I give it credit for in my moments of shame and guilt. But he loves me. . .us. . .still. And thinks we all are beautiful. . .
Thanks Aliza for sharing such a beautiful message this morning.
Thank you, Eunice. I think you’re right: his love is so much more than what we give credit for.
Aliza,
I’m wiping tears….oh for how long my worth rode on the words of others…my parents, my friends, boys, bosses, etc. When we try to get our identity and our worth from the words of others, we will always come up painfully short because frankly this fallen world looks for our shortcomings. Jesus, on the other hand, sees our potential. He sees the beautiful person He and His Father created and called “good”. He looks beyond and sees what we are capable of in His power. He loves us just for who we ARE not for what we can DO. He just loves us….period. I’ve learned to drink in His love letter to me in the Bible….I pour over the words….” I am fearfully and wonderfully made….He delights in me….He rejoices over me with singing….He thinks I’m beautiful and pursues me…”. That sure beats the words of our first crush. Oh that I could drink this truth in and never doubt it. Your post is a wonderful and touching reminder of just how beautiful He thinks I am. Lovely….
Blessings,
Bev xx
“When we try to get our identity and our worth from the words of others, we will always come up painfully short…” This is spot on, Bev. I need this reminder every day. Thank you!
There are no words that I can even attempt with tears in my eyes. Thank You!
Thank you, Ivelisse!
Your words are beautifully written Aliza,
They remind us that our beauty radiates from within, and He’s not seeing us as flawed.
Thank-you, this is really helpful.
Penny
Penny, it reminds me to Remind My Girls t h e y are beautifully made by GOD and we can always turn to Him! ( also I feel it’s important their fathers of girls always come second after God the Father)
Yes Janice,
I believe so too.
Have a good day.
Penny
Thank you so much, Penny!
Thank you for this! Just lovely, and such an important reminder 🙂
Thank you for reminding me that we all are beautiful!
I hope all girls already know they are beautiful inside (because of God), and as far as the outside they can look however they want. And certainly I pray she (the girl in the story above) expects more from the boy expressing that he thinks her outsides are appealing to him. She wasn’t put on this earth for males to approve of her looks or to wait for one of them to validate her in this way. Generally when a male tells a woman she is beautiful it is because he has been conditioned to think of her as an object to gaze upon and that he must tell her he thinks she looks good in order for her to have good self esteem. The concept of the story is nice and sweet and I get it, I really do, but kind of sends a message that that the approval of the male gaze is equal to that of God’s approval of a woman.
Your writing is beautiful! Jesus loves us and tells us so and we need to believe it. We call all be beautiful with Him in our hearts and His words on or lips. He can make us blush too, and He lifts our heads. And we can be sure of His sincerity.
Thank you so much, Rebecca.
What a great way to refocus hearts on how God sees us! Thank you. When I first read the title, in all transparency, I hesitated, and wondered how many others might struggle with worth issues. As a “recovering perfectionist” and highly analytical person, I know that the Enemy likes to stir things up in this area. Yet, I am firmly rooted in God’s love and appreciate the heart check and the reminder that my First and Always Love -Jesus sees me as beautiful.
Aliza, I praise the Lord for these gracious words of peace from the Lord. How good the Lord is that He loved us, knew us, chose us before He made us. His approval means more than that of the world, for the world cannot see what He does in our hearts, the places in us, the unfading beauty of the quiet and gentle Spirit that He has given us that transforms us to bring a richer and deeper beauty than our outward appearance. Its hard to see this in myself some days having lived with being told all that was wrong instead of what was right, so I have to remind myself of this everyday it seems. May we each look and see His love in each of us peering at us in the mirror and rejoice that He has chosen to make his home in us, cleaning and lightening each place in our inner women to shine his beauty into the world 🙂
Love this!! In my day job and in the blogging world, it’s so easy to get caught up in other people’s approval — especially when it’s expressed as a quality you have rather than praise for a specific thing you’ve done. Thank you for sharing!
I do remember that moment so many years ago. 51 to be exact. My reaction was so much like your article stated. I actually believed we would be together celebrating 48 years of marriage this past August. It was OFFICIALLY over 25 years ago. I was made to feel like Robyn in this post. So worthless, unloved. At this very moment I am finally in the midst of trying to heal. PTSD, DEPRESSION, ANXIETY all sorts of health issues. By the GRACE of GOD, I’m on my way to VICTORY this time. Thank you for this topic. God loves me, I love Him. I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Great post. Thumbs up.
Robyn, I totally understand where you’re coming from. I’m a substitute teacher, struggling with what I do, and also in a marriage where I just feel like a slave. I have a quote on my bedroom wall about my value not being based on someone’s inability to see my worth. I refer to it often, and my daughter even reminds me of it when I’m feeling defeated. This post was great for both of us, and I think it’s something you and I needed to be reminded of. Just know, you’re not alone in your struggles, and God is there for you too. By the way, Aliza, thank you so much for this post. It looks like it’s something all of us needed to hear.
Now I’m completely undone.
Beautiful post, Aliza. Let us never forget our savior’s words.
Aliza,
This is spot on. For years I have felt “not worthy”, “plain Jane”. Then one day God sent this amazing man into my life. He calls me beautiful and pretty. These words and those of Jesus really help to cement my heart. This reminded me of the Johnny Diaz song “More Beautiful You” :
Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn’t straight, her body isn’t fake
And she’s always felt overweight
Well, little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care, your skin, your body and your hair
Are perfect just the way they are
There could never be a more beautiful you
Don’t buy the lies, disguises and hoops, they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you
Little girl twenty one the things that you’ve already done
Anything to get ahead
And you say you’ve got a man but He’s got another plan
Only wants what you will do instead
Well, little girl twenty one you never thought that this would come
You starve yourself to play the part
But I can promise you there’s a man whose love is true
And He’ll treat you like the jewel you are
There could never be a more beautiful you
Don’t buy the lies, disguises and hoops, they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you, more beautiful you
So turn around you’re not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It’s not too late, you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear, they can all be washed away
By the one who’s strong, can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry, all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light, He will show you truth
And again you’ll see through the eyes of a little girl
That there could never be a more beautiful you
Don’t buy the lies, disguises and hoops, they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you
There could never be a more beautiful you
I absolutely love this. Man, this brought me right back to the swing set I was on. Thank you for these sweet reminders 🙂
I have had to sit with this for a few days. This stirred up something in me that I can’t explain. I spent a few days thinking or trying to remember someone telling me I am beautiful. Honestly I have never been told that by anyone and I’m 56. I have a wonderful husband but he isn’t good at compliments, not even dinner was good. But he is a very kind man.
Most of my life I have felt unworthy and invisible to the world. I still do. I have been praying since reading this “Jesus please tell me I’m beautiful today”……
Not yet but I’m hoping.