A few weeks ago I managed to fall head first in a Texas football stadium and dislocate, as well as fracture, my elbow.
And let me tell you, that’ll put a damper on your mood, mostly because a dislocated and fractured elbow hurts. It HURTS, people.
Overall I’m doing well, and my arm gains a little more range of motion each week. I wish I’d never dived down rows of concrete seats, of course, but this accident has brought me face-to-face with all kinds of goodness, Love coming down in a hundred ways. But those couple of days after the accident? Well, on a cranky scale of 1 to 10, I dialed in around 45.
This fact did not add up to a super fun experience for my husband (who, for the record, is an amazing caretaker). One afternoon as my pain meds lulled and my mood plummeted, I snapped at him over some inconsequential thing. He sighed and gave me a piercing look before dropping a hard truth about myself, one that’s not flattering in the least. But it was accurate. I felt it as soon as he said it, like a mirror had been held in front of me and I was able to see that undesirable (sinful!) part of my makeup.
It exposed something about me I needed to hear and needed to change on the double.
Yep, sometimes it’s necessary for us to take our hands away from our ears and experience the rebuke of painful truth. In the end, those words — hard to hear though they may be — are for us.
If we hear them and work to change for the better because of them, we’re closer to reflecting the character of Jesus.
On the other hand, dare I say we need to sometimes do the exact opposite and reject words from others.
If you’re like me and close your eyes for just a moment, you can likely picture where you were when a particularly difficult conversation occurred, a conversation when someone offered you words that weren’t for you. They didn’t reflect an accurate picture of you or your circumstances, and they may well have been entirely disproportionate to what the situation called for. But you digested them just the same, and as you did so, you felt your heart sink like lead.
Not long ago, my friend Salena and I discussed this very thing. Flanking the gas stove in my living room on that chilly day, we cupped hands around our mugs of coffee and tea. At one point, I remarked, “It can be hard not to cup my heart around ugly words.”
Setting down her mug, Salena responded . . .
“Sometimes you just have to pivot from toxic to truth.” She turned her body from the wood stove to the front door. “Just pi-vot.”
I haven’t been able to forget those words she uttered because often I do the opposite of this.
I let toxic words (and actions) settle somewhere deep inside me — I take them to heart.
The enemy puts them on a loop, and instead of pivoting from them, I let those harsh untruths permeate.
Of course, there is due cause for giving attention to hard words if the person speaking them is proven a trusted source for rebuke (like my husband in the story mentioned earlier).
But if that person speaking to you — be it the little known co-worker the next cubicle over or the well known family member over Christmas dinner — has not proven a wise, safe voice of wisdom in your life, then refuse to take her words to heart. Instead, just pivot.
A long time ago, the Lord gave me an image of our hearts being like the Old Testament tabernacle. The tabernacle consisted of three primary areas: the outer courtyard, the holy place, and the inner holy of holies.
When it comes to our hearts, parts are for many at the entrance, or outer courtyard. Parts are a more holy place where safe people may cross the threshold. And still parts are for just you and God alone, a holy of holies.
Unsafe people and their words do not get inner access to your heart. The end. When they try, picture yourself pivoting away from them and moving toward Truth.
Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. (2 Corinthians 3:17)
When difficult words come our way, may each of us have the wisdom to know when to listen and when to pivot. And may each of us experience the freedom found in clinging to Jesus’ words of unmistakable truth.
Leave a Comment
Lynn says
I love the illustration of our hearts being like the old testament tabernacle. Wonderful words to remember this morning. Thanks for sharin the words God lays on your heart.
Kristen Strong says
I’m glad they spoke to you as they did me, Lynn. Much love.
D. says
Thank you, I needed this.
Kristen Strong says
Me too, D! Thank *you*.
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Kristen,
This is so me, sometimes. I take words that aren’t really meant for me to heart. The enemy stands at the door to my heart and tries to weasel and connive his way in. He know that once he gets a foot in the door it won’t be long until he’s all the way in. When I sense “red flags” like are these words/thoughts making me anxious, are they condemning, are they tearing me down vs. building me up, then chances are they are words I need to pivot away from and slam the door on in order to safeguard my holy of holies. Wise words here Kristen and, as always, a much needed reminder!
Advent blessings to you friend,
Bev xx
Sarah says
I love the whole story,and how true it is. I only wish I had heard this year’s ago!! Thank you for sharing. And may the Lord Bless you.
Kristen Strong says
Oh girl, you and me both.
Much love to you this advent season and always, Sarah.
Michele Morin says
Trusting for wisdom to know when to pivot and when to enter into the deeply humbling process of growth through the (uncomfortable) insights of others.
Hope that elbow is not hampering your Christmas celebration!
Jayne Smith says
I too, love your analogy of the temple. I know this will become a reminder someday. Considering the source gets trickier as I somehow can’t get my filter in place quickly enough. You given me a way of focusing.
Kristen Strong says
Yes, sometimes that filter doesn’t readily stay put, does it. Focusing with you, Jayne!
Carol Gilliland says
I love your comparison of our hearts with a tabernacle. That is a great illustration. I often wonder why it can be so difficult to give kind words any space in our hearts, but we readily accept cruel words and allow them to shape our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves.
Side note: I hope your elbow is doing well. I can relate. About six years ago, I slipped on the ice and crushed my elbow. The surgeon told me it was broken into seventeen pieces. He didn’t expect me to regain full range of motion. But our God is the Great Physician. My elbow is good as new. Hope yours is, too.
Kristen Strong says
Oh my GOODNESS Carol, broken in seventeen pieces?! Incredible. And wow, how painful. What a road you must have traveled toward healing. Thank God! And you give me hope for mine to regain full range of motion too!
So much love to you, Carol. xoxo
Keri McCue says
This is so wise and so needed!! I love the thought of pivoting away. We so often allow other people’s words or actions to tear us down. You are so right, if they are not a trusted part of our “inner court” we should just pivot! Love this!
Kristen Strong says
“If they are not a trusted part of our “inner court” we should just pivot.” ~ Exactly!
Thankful for you, Keri.
Gail Noe says
This WAS me. I am learning to stand firmly on what God says about me. It’s an amazing place. Trusting in God’s love for me, my family and for all of His awesome creation. I am expecting God at every turn. We all have the power of Jesus finished work – NO CONDEMNATION! EVER!
Kristen Strong says
Such wisdom in this comment, Gail. Thank *you*.
Penny says
Kirsten,
I’m sorry about your elbow, and hope it mends well. Your husband sounds like he’s a blessing to you.Thank-you for kindly sharing your words, and of truth with us. I appreciate your friend’s sound advice.
I hope you, and your family have a joyful, blessed Christmas,
All the best,
Penny
Kristen Strong says
May you and yours have the same. Thank you, Penny!
Ashley says
Amen! Thank you.
I recently heard a description of the Father’s voice being:
Affirming, Inviting, Defending.
It gives AID.
Kristen Strong says
I love that so much, Ashley. xo
Pearl Allard says
Kristen, thank you for the helpful analogy of setting healthy boundaries in our hearts. Hoping you recover completely and quickly!
Afton Rorvik says
Love that single word and image: pivot. So helpful. Thanks for your wise words.
Jessica Pedevillano says
So perfect. Thank you for your spirit led insight.
The enemy uses our past wounds of agreements to steal our joy. Words, not meant for our hearts are spoken to severely separate us from God. I take these hard words and ask God to interpret them for me. I take these words captive and compare to His word. I then recieve clarity on whether I am to look in that mirror or pivot!!!!
Keep speaking truth I love your insights!
Karen Steele says
I really needed these words today. Thank you!
Susan Shipe says
I like those three chambers of the heart concept. Very visual. Helpful.
Kristen Strong says
I think that’s why it struck such a chord with me: because it’s visual.
Thank you, Susan. Much love.
Rebecca L Jones says
Well, aren’t we on the same page, I’m about to start studying wisdom again. Pivoting is wisdom, no doubt. the devil is always on instant replay or the loop, so we’d better interrupt him. But even better is the mercy seat of our heart, where Jesus resides, the secret place, the holy of holies. I just wrote about the same thing. His blood is on it, He was the propitiation, which actually means mercy seat. He took our punishment and place, and by His wounds we are healed. Praying restoration for your arm and shoulder, healing in Jesus name.
Kristen Strong says
Interrupting the enemy with the pivot–love that visual. Thank you for this, Rebecca, and for your kind prayers.
Jacinta says
Wow I’ve never visioned it this way before. Thank you for helping us frame it in God’s perspective! I’ve taken many remarks to heart over the years, and didn’t realize I could do something else…I’m going to ask God to help me with this. 🙂
Kristen Strong says
You and me both, Jacinta. May we both be more intentional about pivoting from words we have no business holding onto. Much love.
Beth Williams says
Kristen,
The Bible has a lot to say about this. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
—Ephesians 4:29
Hearing ugly words makes me cringe and feel awful about myself. I take those words to heart and tend to believe them. The devil knows how and when to hit me. I must learn to pivot and not hear those words & let them sink to far into my psyche!
Blessings 🙂
Jana Snyder says
Some places are just for you and God alone, a holy of holies. – That sheds a whole new light on my prayer and listening. Wow – what a gift – thank you!