About the Author

Whitney is a city girl serving alongside her husband at a church next to a peacock farm. She is mama to two blondes and a dance-in-your-kitchen advocate. When not dancing, she is the dreamer behind Imperfectly Brave, where her team is creating a lifestyle of prayer and community across the...

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  1. Whitney, I believe that my pulse slowed as I read this post.
    And I’m blessed to have an older woman in my life who has done the same welcoming and listening ministry for me over the years (altho’ warming a mug for coffee is something I’ve never encountered, but what a great metaphor it is for intentionality!).
    So wonderful that the Ancient of Days — for whom nothing is new! — waits to hear our every prayer.

    • Michele,

      Whenever I walk into my friend’s home, my pulse slows and I long for that feeling to stay. I’m so glad you have a woman like this in your life… what a treasure, isn’t it? Jesus lingered and I hope to be that in the lives of others. Even in simple acts of warming coffee mugs! Maybe you and I can both add that simple tough into the people’s lives who enter our homes.

  2. Whitney,
    Love this – “Intentional time for unintentional conversation.” Oh how I want to have a soul like your friend – one that invites people to sit a spell, have a pre-heated mug of coffee, and who simply listens. This is a lost art in our society. God is always saying to us, “I’m here. Come. Be still. I’m listening.” Let me be His eyes, and ears, and welcoming voice here on earth. I remember my preschooler days and how lovely it would have been to have your friend. I am at a point in life, where I can be that person. Your post challenges me this morning…
    Blessings,
    Bev xx

    • Oh Bev! I’m sure God has just the woman to come and sit in your home and wrap her hands around a mug and talk with you. What a joy that would be for her (and your) heart. Deep friendship and being known is what we crave. We find it in our Father and reflect it in our relationships! I am so excited for the haven your home certainly is and will continue to become!! What a joy to know God is calling you to swing open that door! With love, whitney

  3. Driving to Maine with my 15 year old son this Sunday for an interview he has there. I pray I am able to just listen to him the whole time we drive. Time with him in my life is dwindling. I want to linger in what’s still here.

    • Oh my, I can only imagine what a beautiful drive with your son in that car! Time, time, time with those babies (15…but still your baby!) God keeps opening my eyes to the sweetness of that time. Praying, as I type these words, that your car becomes a holy haven for listening and laughter! Enjoy!!! With love, whitney

    • Your 15 year old will talk the whole way! Whoo hoo! You best have on your listening ears mama:) those boys I remember on our trips.. slept, ate, slept.. no cell phones to play on 20 years ago. I wish now that they are all in the late 30’s we could drive alone and talk.. thankful God gave them His specially prepared spouses and children.., enjoy your babies and those precious moments so you can remember what it was like in 15 more years! Blessings.. & safe travels.

  4. My Grandfather was like this. I could sit with him for hours and he was so uplifting and an encouragement to my soul. In fact I named my son after him!

    • Lori,

      Sweet memories with our grandfather. Gosh, I have the best memories of my grandpa, too! (Handstands in the living room, no less!) Love that you carry those in your heart and even carried on his legacy. What a treasure to hold on to. With love, whitney

  5. Thank you for the encouragement that this is all important and necessary. Thank you for reaffirming what God was already speaking to my heart this morning.

    • I love when God confirms His thoughts in our heart! Praying now that whatever He is calling you into that His Spiriy and peace is with you (and it most certainly will be!) May your love be poured out simply by the act of lingering and enjoying deep friendship. With love, whitney

  6. Powerful . . . I will choose to intentionally linger, to create a presence that invites others to take those purging deep breaths, be heard and reset.
    Thank you for the reminder, and yes, I do think that is just what time with Jesus looks like.

  7. I have been brought to tears. Thank you. I am striving so hard to slow down and take more time for myself and God without feeling guilty for not doing things that always need to be done. You remind me how necessary it is for so many reasons.

  8. Hi Whitney, your story touched me so & I am right now in my little home in the stillness, listening to the birds while I read meaninful, important things. I recently was at a Dr’s appt & I met the most lovely, charming & kind 84 yr old woman. We talked the entire time & I was fasinated in her every word. Her kindness & the classy but arty way she dressed made her seem so much younger. And in that little bit of time I listened of her youth, her church, her love of art & God, I wish it never ended. When they called her name we were both like, I wish we had more time. Reading your story makes me remember this lovely woman, my own Grandma & Grandfather who was a minister. I would give anything to honor the Lord & have a home & heart to just sit & breathe & laugh & share with a warm mug. I think I will do just that. Thank you sincerely for reminding me of that wonderful time gone by that is really here everyday with my Lord saying “come, I’ve been expecting you”. Bless you.

    • Yes! It’s our time with people that we remember most, isn’t it? Time and stories and whimsy parts of them! I wish I could have seen the artsy way she dressed! Any home can be a haven and any table an open space for warm conversations! It just takes invitation and an open door. I know your home will be such a haven… With love, whitney

  9. Love this. And love , “intentional time for unintentional conversations”…it’s so what I want for my life & has been the underlying current of all my decisions. We focus so much on measurable outcomes in our society that we busy ourselves with so many “good” things from exercise to fundraisers. I want to have enough extra space to reach out to others intentionally for unintentional conversations. Thanks for the confirmation!

  10. What a beautifully said blessing! In my morning daily devotions Our Daily Bread today had the same message of God calling out to Adam and Eve where are you and then Jesus calling to us to come to Him. I am being reminded again to stay in these places of devotion even as times are easier, to linger and grow. To appreciate and keep quiet weekly afternoon tea dates with my mother and with a special aunt, with the people in my community who offer welcome and live the mission of caring. We see how God provides for us through his children, that we are His hands and feet in everything that we do.
    Jesus taught: “whatsoever you do to the least….that you do unto me”. We come to Jesus in prayer and in faith and when we are present to one another.
    I am constantly reminded that in ministering my time it is myself whose heart is being ministered to, cared for and blessed.
    Thank you gor this quiet time “with you” again today.

    • “When we are present to one another…” ah, yes. I love the idea of afternoon teas and the thought of breaking bread with each other. It most certainly is such a blessing to us. I can feel you pouring out your time now and how sweet that is!

  11. This goes well with the phrase stop and smell the roses. Sometimes we need these moments for many reasons.

    • Reminds me of my grandma! She would look at me and tell me, “You kids are always running around and you can’t notice how beautiful everything is around you.” I think of that often, catch my breath and move in cadence with my God again.

  12. THIS…brought me to to tears as your words are so gentle and pure. God has been speaking this to my heart a lot lately. He truly just wants us to simply sit with Him, immerse ourselves in His love and soak in His presence. Only then can we truly build an intimate relationship with Him.

    • Isn’t that the truth, Valerie! He is the heavy lifter in the relationship. He is the one that bears fruit on our branch. We are just the one He chooses to display His work on… praying you linger with Him today… that we all do! With love, whitney

  13. Whitney,

    We all need spiritual whitespace. Our agendas are full-constantly moving & doing. We need to intentionally take time to slow down & have me time. I know an older woman who is alone. Occasionally I will go to her house & just sit with her. I take time to listen to her talk about adult children, husband (dead), and life. She gets lonely and needs someone to talk to. We all need someone to just sit and talk with. If you see a lonely person-invite them over to coffee/tea & just listen to them. God wants us to do community and show others His love.

    Blessings 🙂

    • Spiritual white space. What a beautiful concept, Beth! I love that you spend your time looking for ways to serve others. Isn’t it better than moving to the beat of this fast world? What a gift that surely is to that woman! What a way to bring glory to our God! With love, whitney

  14. Gosh! As a weary, full-time-working momma to a 17-month old, my first response to reading this was, “Oh! How I need time like that with a friend like that! How I wish there was someone willing to listen to my story of fresh dreams and deep burdens.” My next feeling, though, was, “But, wait! I DO have a friend like that! Jesus! Jesus is my friend like that!”. Then the guilt set in…! Why, oh why, doesn’t my time with the Lord soothe me and revive me the way I believe time with a friend like this will?

    • Oh deep breaths. Just start with deep breaths. Immanuel. God with us. Even now, sweet friend, He is with you. In the laundry, meals, dirty diapers. It is all holy work and His presence will go with us when invite Him in. Lately I have been thinking of how He opens His hands to us and satisfies every living thing. I actually open my hands and envision God doing this for me. This is for us everyday! And then so much grace… working mama and babies can make us crazy. You go… God is with you! With love, whitney

  15. It’s so good to have a mentor a step ahead to demonstrate ways to Chase Quiet in our busy days. This theme has been running deep with me the past few months. I did an intentional #31daysofquiet journey last fall that touches on many of these vibes reflected in your piece. Slowing down is so good, yet so hard. If you’re interested, browse #ChasingQuiet with me over at ordinarythreads.com

    • Oh! I will! Thank you for the recommendation! It is a fight, isn’t it? Even after I leave her home, I have to fight to maintain the peace I have been given. We actually have to rewire parts of us in Western America. Chasing Quiet seems lovely!

  16. Hey, Whitney. 🙂 I believe we met at She Speaks last year. 🙂 This post is beautiful in word and beautiful in timing. The Lord has me writing an article about rest, at the moment. I thought I was writing something different…I tried to write something different. So thankful for a God who frustrates our plans so we can share in His. — Thanks for the reminder to intentionally take time for the un-rushed. ((hug))

    • Oh my! Hugs to you Brenda! I believe we did meet at She Speaks. I have been learning much on rest with our Lord too… and that we can enter that rest each and every day because of the cross. What a privilege! And how different than the world. Hoping that rest is real for you and me and all of us today! With love, whitney

  17. Hi Whitney – we met at the HopeWriters pizza gathering at SheSpeaks last year! I love this and will share with the women of my church. We are starting something called Let’s Have a Coffee, where oldies like me make ourselves available for young lovelies who want someone to walk through life with.
    And I warm always warm my tea pot (I hate luke warm tea!) but I will now do it for my mug too and those of all who visit!! Much love. Niki

    • Of course I remember you and have loved watching your story unfold. And it doesn’t surprise me one bit that you warm your tea pot 🙂 We are studying Titus at our church — oldies (ha!) loving the youngies. Love that you are initiating that! Should be so fruitful!

  18. I love the idea of His lingering. And it is great to have someone listen, but if you don’t always have someone, He’s there. And wow, a peacock farm, they are so pretty. I’m sure you have a lovely view.

    • Yes, the peacocks! I don’t live there any longer but did for a year. We do drive past them on our way to church though! They are beautiful. God and all His creativity! And He is always lingering, longing to be with us. It is so reflective of His nature that we crave lingering, dontcha think? (Now I have a craving to go take a peek at those peacocks again!

  19. Wow, what a beautifully written post. Thank you for this! I have been praying for God to send a more mature woman into my life. I so desperately need it as I enter a new season on several levels. As women and caregivers, we run around taking care of some very special people in our lives, the thought that to walk into someone’s home and feel the love and the “expectation that they have been waiting for us” is wonderful. May I also offer this to a young woman:-).

    • Silvia, as I write this I am praying for someone like I write about here for you…I prayed for a long time and even tried to set up some mentor type relationships. But this is one that God made so very clear and evident. And just as you said I want to “offer this to a young woman,” that is exactly my prayer. That what I’ve learned from my friend is what I long to pour out onto others! with love, whitney

    • Deep breaths are certainly healing to the soul, aren’t they Danielle? It is like we are breathing in the Spirit of God. I’m so glad we could linger a bit together. Love to you, Whitney

  20. Whitney,
    What a sweet, and special memory for you to cherish. Thank-you so much for sharing it with us. I remember times like this.

    Have a blessed day all,
    Penny

    • Penny,
      I’m sure you have sweet memories cherished like mine. They certainly are like treasure! And the best part is I can go back and linger in the memory knowing God was with me then and is with me now. With love, Whitney

  21. Afters years away from my sister I finally got back true friendship. Sitting back being intentional, nothing but love and understanding.

    • Sisters can be the sweetest, can’t they? I am so glad you have that….and Christ is always always always that for us, right? What a gift we have in Him! With love, Whitney

  22. LOVE this! So encouraging! May I become a woman who reflects Christ’s invitation as your friend does! Blessings!