I had just put my daughter to bed, filled up my big water glass (so healthy!), grabbed a handful of Dove dark chocolates (not so healthy…), and curled up on the couch. I had the remote handy while I clicked around online. Just a few minutes into my evening’s wind-down routine, the lights flickered once, twice, and then poof!
The house was dark. REAL DARK.
Before I could even move, my kiddo began screaming as loud as she could in a terror-filled voice I’d never heard before. She didn’t quiet down to take a breath or hear me shouting, “I’m coming! Hold on! Just a second! I’m on my way!”
Her bedroom shares a wall with the living room, so it’s not like I had far to go. And thanks to the light of my computer screen, I could see for several feet down the hallway. I pulled open her door and said firmly, “Annalyn! Stop it. I’m RIGHT HERE.”
I shuffled over to her bed with memories of her messy floor and my decision to wait for morning to clean it up. Then, hand in hand, we walked to the living room and proceeded to have what I called “a little adventure.”
She was clearly terrified by her unexpected plunge into darkness, and I understood. So I did my best to stay upbeat and reframe the unusual evening as a fun adventure for the two of us. We lit candles, went on a hunt for flashlights (WHY do we have four flashlights and ONLY ONE that works?!?), and eventually hopped in the car for a drive when I realized my phone would die soon.
While my phone charged in the car, we ate pie at Perkin’s and arrived home to every light in the house burning brightly. (The aforementioned candles were not burning brightly, however. Just in case you were concerned.) I tucked her back in bed and tucked the whole experience away in my mind.
Until the night several days later when she refused to go to bed because she was afraid the power would go out again.
“What if it does, though? What if the lights go out in all the rooms and it’s dark again and I can’t see anything and what if?”
Reminding her that out of the approximately one thousand nights she’s slept in our house, the electricity has only gone out once didn’t help. Neither did reminding her that I came to her room immediately and we actually had a fun little night when the power went out.
In case you were thinking of nominating me for Mom of the Year today, I should probably tell you that yelling at her to quit being a baby didn’t work either.
(I KNOW.)
Because my sweet girl is also a smart girl and has proven quite capable in the manipulation department, I just wasn’t sure if she was truly scared or if she was using it as an excuse to stay up late. Once she asked me the following question, though, I knew something real was going on in her little head. She said, “But how do I stop my head from thinking about it, Mommy?”
Oh, baby girl, if only I knew.
Obviously I know – IN THEORY – how to stop fear in its tracks. I know about thinking happy thoughts and praying for courage and protection and singing Sunday school songs or Justin Bieber songs (you know, whatever does the trick). I know about reason and logic and thinking about it, really thinking about it.
But even though I shared with my little girl all the tricks I’ve used since I was her age and suffered from recurring nightmares, I knew that, in the end, the choice was hers. She had to choose whether or not to be scared.
Fear is a choice. And so is faith.
When the lights flicker or the thunder booms – -either literally or metaphorically – -we have a choice. Do we choose to lean in to the fear that comes so naturally, so suddenly, so strongly? Or do we turn back to our faith, our trust in a God who is good, a God who will work things out, a God who isn’t finished yet, a God who can overcome and will be with us in our brokenness and will wipe away every tear?
Once again, God used one of my kids to teach me a lesson, to remind of the Truth, to guide me back to faith and away from my own fears. A dark house doesn’t usually terrify me, but plenty of other things do. But the next time I’m gripped by fear and tempted to give in, I’m going to remember what I told my little girl at bedtime.
I’m going to remember what God has done for me in the past, how He has loved me and protected me and walked beside me and carried me. I’m going to choose faith.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.
Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed,
for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
(Joshua 1:9)
I don’t know what you’re facing today, but I pray you can lean on your faith and choose God over whatever’s got you scared. Nothing can defeat our God who cares deeply about you. He will never leave you alone; He will be with you wherever you go (no matter how dark it gets).
Leave a Comment
Michele Morin says
So thankful, Mary, that in Christ alone, we have the gift of being able to look squarely at what frightens us, to call it what it is (BAD!), and then to trust a good God. His record of faithfulness in the past is our best defense against fear over the future. May we trust together for grace to bring this to mind whenever fear shows up.
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Mary,
Don’t you love those teachable moments God gives us? Where we get to teach our children Truth about God and how He uses them to teach us His Truth? When I get locked in fear, I do forget that fear is a choice. Granted, when you have an anxiety disorder it artificially heightens that fear, but still when the worry, doubt, fear, anxiety come rushing in, it is good for my soul to remember all the Ebenezers – all the times God has been with me, never let me go, seen me through. It doesn’t mean it will be easy and I will have a never disturbed sense of peace, but it does mean that He is faithful and when it comes to the fork in the road, I need to choose faith. Even when I am faithless….He is still faithful. What an awesome God we have. Thank you for this wonderful reminder this am.!
Blessings,
Bev xx
ps. It’s a universal law that only one out of four flashlights (if you can remember where they are) will actually work lol.
Rebecca L Jones says
Ebenezers? I like the Dickens’ analogy. And yes, whether, universal or Murphy’s law, only one flashlight works. I suppose should buy those can that you can freeze or run over after all.
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Rebecca,
I should have defined Ebenezers….I know most people think of Dickens, but here’s the Bible Dictionary definition and reference. I guess when trouble comes my way and I’m bitten by fear I look back over the “Stones of help” that I have erected in the times that God has come to my aid. In my case, my life has many….Blessings, Bev
Ebenezer
Bible Dictionary Smith’s Bible Dictionary
(stone of help), a stone set up by Samuel after a signal defeat of the Philistines, as a memorial of the “help” received on the occasion from Jehovah. (1 Samuel 7:12)
Jillian says
For many reasons, I needed this today. Thank you.
Jennifer says
Thank you Mary! This is my biggest struggle and my husband, who should help me the most to overcome this, plays on this struggle every day of my life. I woke up this morning needing this so greatly and of course, God provided!
God bless you!
Denise says
A very timely message for me as I am having surgery next week. Just yesterday I copied Joshua 1:9 on my iPad home screen so I would see it often. Thanks for the reminder.
Joyce says
Praying for you, your family, surgeons and hospital staff, as you head into surgery next week, Denise. Jesus is the great physician and he is in charge!
Anne says
I am praying for you Denise that you feel God’s peace and receive his strength and experience His healing.
Penny says
Prayers that all goes well for you Denise.
Have a blessed day,
Penny
GD says
Thank you for this reminder of what’s true this morning, especially these last sentences: “Nothing can defeat our God who cares deeply about you. He will never leave you alone; He will be with you wherever you go (no matter how dark it gets).”
I’m facing a dark darkness right now, where even God feels distant. This helped reassure me of what I know, even when it’s hard to feel – that he’s still there no matter how deep the darkness.
Penny says
GD, Prayers for the light to shine through.
Have a blessed day,
Penny
Crystal says
I’m a little confused on why the power going out would call for pie at Perkins that late in the day? If it was bedtime, why would someone need to go sit in the car? Not to miss the point of the story. I enjoy the quote, “Fear is a choice and so is faith.” That quote works well for adults in there Christian walk.
Joyce says
She mentioned the drive to perkins was to allow her to charge her phone battery in the car. I’m sure you can understand that no one wants to be stuck at home with a dead phone when there’s no electricity.
Jessica says
Thank you- needed to hear this after me & 3 shortie-tornado-blessings are limping through our last week of summer!!
Maggie R. says
Thank you Mary for such a timely study. I am “chicken little”, the sky is falling, the sky is falling. Yes, a few pieces of the sky were falling when my 13 year old foster son ran away and crashed my car at one in the morning. I also have to remember how many times my parents dealt with me as a rebellious teenager and the sky did not fall; for here I am today. The daughter of our merciful Savious.
My choice today is to have Faith. Blessings to you.
Brenda says
Awe, what sweet memories this will make. I remember many a night sitting up with little boys who were afraid of the dark. Now they fear nothing, it seems…which gives their mama much more to fear. 🙂 So thankful that God is always with them in their dark times and in their shenanigan times. (There are many. 🙂 ) — And, oh so thankful for his ever-present light in my life. — Thanks for sharing, Mary. 🙂
Renae says
Joshua 1:9 is one of my favorites! He is indeed with us wherever we go! I lost my job a few months back and was working at a job that was ok, but not really working out the best for us. When my hours were cut I didn’t understand and became very anxious, and yes, afraid.
The Lord spoke to my heart and said, I’ve got it all under control.
I needed to trust Him.
Today I had an interview and God gave me the most wonderful position! I was repentant because I was trying to do things on my own and not waiting on Him!
He is wonderful!
Thank you for this perfect post today! It was just what I needed!
laurel dockery says
Mary, my dear Sister in Christ,
Thank you SO much for sharing what the Holy Spirit has taught you with your fellow believers. I was nodding in the affirmative with each sentence that I read from your post. I was especially blessed by the following point and scriptural reference:
“But the next time I’m gripped by fear and tempted to give in, I’m going to remember what I told my little girl at bedtime. I’m going to remember what God has done for me in the past, how He has loved me and protected me and walked beside me and carried me. I’m going to choose faith.”
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.
Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed,
for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9)
You are sooooo right that faith is indeed a CHOICE that only you can make for yourself. We have to affirmatively CHOOSE to trust God NO MATTER what we face. This post is especially encouraging with all of the destructive things that are occurring in God’s world today. In these times, we as the Body of Christ must ‘hold fast to the hope we profess for the One who promised is FAITHFUL’ Hebrews 10:23.
I thank God for opportunities to choose faith over fear, as it is in those times that our Heavenly Father reminds me that He was NOT surprised by the event I am facing, that He has a winning battle plan, and that He has ALREADY won, and the enemy is already a DEFEATED FOE. Our God is AWESOME!!!
thank you once again and God bless you Mary
Laurel
Pearl Allard says
Just excellent, thank you, Mary.
K Ann Guinn says
Thank-you for this challenging and comforting reminder. Even though I’ve been a Christian for many, many years, it’s still a lesson I must remind myself of often!
I love that we get to choose.
Sheri says
Absolutely beautiful writing! And a wonderful, true message too!
Janet says
I sure needed this today! Today is the day I’ve feared for the past 29 years. The day my baby girl might choose to commit her life to the “wrong” man, a man who chooses another god from the One I’ve raised her to love and obey. Today is the day that man has chosen to propose. My daughter has run from God the past 3 years and my heart has been so broken. But day before yesterday, I felt the Holy Spirit say He was looking to bring both of them into an intimate relationship with him and could use me to to that if I would just continue to love them and make myself willing. And TRUST! Those words have helped me release a fear that has accompanied me way too long. Today, as I await her call with her news, I will make the choice to trust in my Savior that He is in control, no matter what it looks like through my eyes.
Penny says
Mary,
Thank-you for sharing your touching story with us here today.
Have a blessed day all,
Penny
Kristen says
Mary, you are so funny. From the get-go, you had my interest with the healthy/not so healthy line. I always look forward to reading your posts! You are a gifted writer. Rock on.
Elle says
I liked this a lot, thanks so much. I needed to remember today God’s faithfulness in the past and how He promises it always. I was faced today with my quickly dwindling bank account and fear and panic took residency in my head and heart. Soon bitterness moved in too. Sigh. I just feel like God does always provide…but it’s usually just exaaaaactly what I need, not much more. I’m not saying I don’t appreciate it; I truly do. It’s just I wish there were more breathing space. I know it’s meant, as my husband says, to grow my dependency on God. If I had too much, I wouldn’t depend on Him. I’ve always loved the proverb that says God give me what I need, not too little that I steal and disappoint You, but not too much that I would forget You. I guess God heard that prayer! Mary, thank You again for this; I love your sincere writing style. Blessings to you and your family.
Rebecca L Jones says
Isn’t everything a choice, even to love? And oh right you are about children wanting to have their way and learning quickly how to use it. I worked in family daycare, and most of the time children really showed fear when hurt though I had one little girl who actually quaked in her boots. She went on to like figure skating, chess and tennis, instead of hiding under the porch swing. God’s love helped her overcome, it’s all that will. Remember, that we are His righteousness only because of Him, and fear, terror and torment has to stay away, from us, even if it tries to come. Isaiah 54.
JKShep says
I had been praying about a situation that is going on in my life and I had asked God to not let my fear overwhelm my faith. Thank you very much for this. Things like this is the encouragement that God sends our way to let us know that He is there. This is helping me to make faith the natural reaction as opposed to fear. It is so easy to fall on the fear side when we know on the faith side is the strength that we need.
Beth Williams says
Mary,
It is amazing how God can use children to teach us lessons. God clearly states “Do not Fear” for I am with you. There are times in life when we face trials that cause us to fear & tremble a bit. If we would recall scripture, or Ebenezers and pray to God then He will help calm our anxious thoughts. We need to always choose faith over fear. That is the motto of one of our elementary school principals. He was diagnosed with ALS 3 years ago and lving/fighting a public fight.
Blessings 🙂
Jessica says
First thing I read when I woke up for church. Such a blessing, and gift from God, through you! Thank You Lord and God bless you my sister. Keep spreading the Good News!
xoxo
Anne-K. says
Wonderful story but I don’t totally agree. Fear is a feeling. We cannot choose whether that feeling comes to us. But we can make a choice over the amount of power we give that feeling. We can choose to trust in God in spite of our fear. And He will take care of it. He always does.