Somewhere along the way, I picked up the idea that bigger is always better.
I picked it up and carried it with me, spending more time than I’d care to admit reaching for rungs.
We climb ladders and hear applause. We build platforms and receive praise. We joke about doing “all the things,” we hope for hearts and likes, we care about pixelated numbers.
In between all the plates spinning and the struggling to say no, we stick on a badge that says Busy but underneath the layers, behind the drive to do more and be more, is a desire to be seen. To be known. To be loved right now, as is, for who we really are.
I’m using the word “we” here, but let’s be clear: I’m speaking from personal experience.
In a culture that praises busyness and promotes more — always more — I’ve listened to the lie that small equals insignificant, unseen, not enough.
But then a handful of years ago, on a Monday night in Haiti, I stood outside under a canopy of stars, bare feet on the cracked pavement, head tilted back, mouth wide open in wonder. I felt impossibly small, and yet incredibly seen at the very same time. I didn’t know it could be both/and, not either/or.
Two years later, I wrote a book about living, loving, and learning in the in between seasons of life, in the waiting and the wondering. There are words printed on pages that tell the story of His faithfulness and goodness, even in the chapters I never would have chosen. Chapter 5 talks about being both small and seen, and as the book began arriving in mailboxes on release day, I quietly stood at my kitchen sink rinsing a colander full of strawberries, thinking back to that night under the stars.
I heard the words hanging in the air before I realized they came out of my own mouth: This feels right.
It was an ordinary, small, regular moment on an absolutely crazy day, but in the kindest of ways it reminded me of my place.
A few months later, I traveled to Israel. I could write one hundred posts, tell you a thousand stories of all the ways my time there turned what was black and white to living color.
In two weeks, I’ll board a plane and travel back to a place that brought the Bible to life right in front of my eyes. I’ll take pictures, fill up another journal with all the words, and likely over-Instagram Story the entire thing.
I’m not sure I’ll have words when we make it back to the wall, though.
Two years ago, on this journey to finding joy in smallness, I walked along a section of a wall that has stood its ground for 6,000 years. I carefully examined the cracks and crevices of the crumbling rocks. I stared down at my dust-covered feet. I looked up at the seemingly endless stretch of blue sky, clouds perfectly placed like oversized cotton-balls hovering above. I opened my hands in wonder and out of my mouth came these four simple words, followed by laughter: I am so small.
How many hundreds of thousands have walked by, right underneath that same blue sky? How many once settled there, raised their families within its borders, called that same ground their home? And somehow, God has seen each one, heard each beating heart, deeply cared for each soul.
Halfway across the world, He spoke a simple truth that crosses borders and holds fast beneath a velvet night sky, at the kitchen sink, and under bright puffy clouds: Small is a gift, not a punishment.
The greatest Story of all time has been carrying on for several chapters now, and we’re just one dot of ink on the page. He doesn’t need us, yet He chooses us and wants us.
I came face-to-face with my own smallness in light of God’s greatness, and it brought great joy.
We can, and absolutely should, do our best and honor God with what we’ve been given. But we don’t have to chase the next and greatest thing, hurrying and hustling to prove our worth. We are the Already Enough people, the ones who have nothing to prove. Our security rests in Christ’s sacrifice, our confidence in His great love for us, and He extends an invitation to you and to me today:
I see you, Daughter. You are small, but you are not overlooked. You don’t have to be enough, for I AM. Take joy in your smallness, revel in the wonder of My glory and greatness, and stop your striving. Rest in My completed work today, knowing that you are seen and valued, fully known and fully loved, right now, as is.
Today, I’ll accept His invitation. And tomorrow, when I inevitably forget once again, I’ll close the computer and stand outside under the clouds or the stars.
This is my prayer for you, for me, for us. I invite you to pray it with me today:
Lord, I trust that You see me here. I choose today to savor the small and remember that You are more than enough. May I find my place not in rung climbing or numbers, but at Your feet. There is only One worth following and it’s You. I’ve had enough of platforms. I think I’ll build altars instead.
by Kaitlyn Bouchillon
Kaitlyn Bouchillon
Kaitlyn,
Oh how beautiful the words you weave. When I was young, there was a derogatory song, that was popular, entitled “Short People”. It went on to focus on how we come up short (excuse the pun). Like you, I’ve been short in stature, but have felt small in comparison to others. It is truly amazing when we come face to face, in a God ordained way, with HIS That says we are enough. He is the God that sees us (even the small ones or ones who think they are insignificant). So true that the smaller we become, the larger we can live in God’s sufficiency and the greater joy we can experience. I would love to travel to the Bible lands and walk in the footsteps of Christ. May you be amazed at His love for you all over again.
Blessings,
Bev xx
He is the God that sees us… <-- That's the third time in 48 hours that I've heard someone say those words or call God "El Roi" (the God who sees OR the God who sees me). I love that you thought of that, Bev!
Thank you for making His invitation so clear as you have extended it today.
Joyfully saying yes along with you.
Beautiful! Small under the stars, safe and known in the immensity of the presence of God, hold in His hand. Love this! Thank you! God bless you!
Thank you for your kind words, Anna.
Oh friend, just this: “We can, and absolutely should, do our best and honor God with what we’ve been given. But we don’t have to chase the next and greatest thing, hurrying and hustling to prove our worth. We are the Already Enough people, the ones who have nothing to prove. Our security rests in Christ’s sacrifice, our confidence in His great love for us, and He extends an invitation to you and to me today.” I’ve stood under that Haitian sky and canopy of stars and felt this same sentiment. Beautiful words, profound truth.
I love that we both wrote about Haiti in our first contributor posts. xo 🙂
I was thinking that! 😉
Reading this was like taking a breath of fresh air. Thank-you for sharing your words with us Kaitlyn.
have a blessed day all,
Penny
Your comment is a gift to me. Thank you!
“…altars instead.” Amen. Beautiful. Joining you in that prayer today. — Oh, the comfort of a small life. The weight of anything else is exhausting…and simultaneously meaningless. Small fits just fine. Thank you, Lord, for the gift of a small life in the shadow of Your greatness. ♥ (In my mind’s eye, I picture an umbrella or a big oak tree…a covering. His greatness covers us, allowing us the protection of a small life.) (And, I love how He gets the glory in both — His greatness and our smallness. So thankful He’s enough so I don’t need to reach, I just need to surrender to each place in its time.) (Stream of thought apparently going on in my comment today. haha. 🙂 ) Thanks for sharing, Kaitlyn. Hope you enjoy your trip!
Ha, bring on the stream of thought comments! Two things stood out to me from what you said: oak tree (starts small, because of course it does), and “He’s enough so I don’t need to reach.”
You are right, we live in a society that tells us that if we are not busy, we are missing g something. This year I promise myself to live simply and enjoy all the small moments. It is these things that matters the most in the end. It is the mundane task we do that changes someone. Thanks for sharing.
This today. Oh this. Timely to me and so incredibly perfect (in a small way ). Thank you for sharing your heart here with us. ❤️✝️
I’m so glad to here that, Cynthia!
Beautifully said. I thought of 1 Corinthians 4:2 as I read this: “Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful.” Faithfulness is what is required, and even that we need His grace to do. And He is faithful! Praise God!
Yes! Reminds of how we’re called to be faithful in the small things.
Kaitlyn, thank you. So beautifully written! This: “I came face-to-face with my own smallness in light of God’s greatness, and it brought great joy.” I came across a C.S. Lewis quote yesterday, and your quote reminded me of the middle of his: “Obedience is the road to freedom, humility the road to pleasure, unity the road to personality.” Blessings!
I have realized that I can feel small and significant at the same time because I am a child of God, created by Him and made for a purpose.
Yes! Exactly.
Your first (in)courage post as a contributor! So exciting. You’ve felt like a part of this place for so long but this still feels like something special to celebrate. 🙂 So grateful for your heart and voice!
So grateful for you, friend. Thanks for co-creating this place way back when.
I loved this Kaitlyn! So powerfully true! I loved this line you wrote, ” I came face-to-face with my own smallness in light of God’s greatness, and it brought great joy.” Wow. That is so profound and awe inspiring. You’re a beautiful writer and author and I’m so glad you joined with (in) courage! You’re a blessing.
Thank you so much for your words here, Susan. What an encourager you are.
Oh friend. I needed this today — these words, this reminder to rejoice in my smallness and His greatness, to know that I’m seen and loved by Him always. Thank you.
First off, congratulations! I love reading your words not only here in this space but everywhere.
You have learned the important lesson of being enough because God calls you that at a young age. The sooner we really know who we are in Christ, the better off we will be.
Thank you, Mary! 🙂
Thank You, Kaitlyn!
I am frequently comparing myself to others and their accomplishments forgetting the work Jesus has done in me and my family.
I need to sit under one of those beautiful skies more often.
Many blessings to you
“There is only One worth following and it’s You. I’ve had enough of platforms. I think I’ll build altars instead.” Amen and amen and amen! xx
Kaitlyn,
This world calls for more-doing, being, etc. Women constantly strive for more-attention, power, rung climbing. Trying to prove themselves as good as men & others. It’s time we stop all the striving & doing. God calls us to rest in His sufficient grace. We need to slow down & listen for His whispers of rest for our weary souls. Women are forever comparing themselves to others. Each time we will fall short. Remember He is enough. Take time to look at the wonders of God & realize that He is big, yet still loves us. He is so crazy about us that He constantly woos us to Himself. We are His beloved. King David knew this one fact: He and God were enough to slay a giant. We should know that God plus us is more than enough. Enjoy your smallness & rejoice in the Lord.
Blessings 🙂
He doesn’t even need us to accomplish His will, what a blessing to participate.
He DOES see us in our smallness, thank you for this beautiful reminder!
Amen Kaitlyn amen. Build an altar not personal platforms. Powerful words that speak from the depth of your personal experiences with our Holy God. And that is so beautiful.
Hugs,
Susan
I’m all emotional after reading your beautiful words. I can only imagine how it must feel to go to Israel. It’s on my bucket list. I love your description, “my time there turned what was black and white to living color.” Thank you for the sweet reminder of our majestic God. “Small is a gift, not a punishment.” These are words I don’t want to forget.
Congratulations, Kaitlyn! I know everyone will be blessed with your wonderful posts. I loved this special post. We can only feel small when we don’t recognize the great God within us. Praying your trip is blessed. ❤