The smell of coffee beans and cinnamon rolls wafted through the crowded terminal. Passengers congregated like impatient sardines near the gate waiting for the airline employee to announce their boarding group. The flight was assigned seating so I was happy to wait till the last minute to start breathing recycled air. I was thrilled to be heading to the (in)courage retreat, but airplanes are not my favorite. At best, I feel squeezed and queasy; at worst, clear the aisle ‘cause I’m sprinting for the lavatory.
I was already starting to feel anticipatory nausea (it’s a thing), and the loud shrieking nearby wasn’t helping. I looked over and saw a mom and toddler in front of a vending machine. The little boy stomped his feet until his mom handed him a blue bag of Chips Ahoy. Cookies at 9 am aren’t going to help anyone! I thought.
Immediately, a pang of conviction trumped my judgment. Surely, I have not been above dolling out sugary snacks to buy myself a couple minutes of peace and quiet.
Lord, forgive me for being quick to judge. Please bless this mama with someone kind and loving to sit next to on the plane. Help her to see You in her day. Amen.
The traveling sardines eventually filed down the jetbridge. I followed to 17E. It was a full flight so I was surprised to find my entire row empty. As I shoved my backpack under the seat, I had a glorious vision: three hours of uninterrupted rest and productivity. With extra space, I’d be able to concentrate on finalizing my notes for the retreat and then catch a little snooze. I’d land ready and refreshed for all God had planned!
I adjusted the air vent and closed the shutter. Deep breath. This might actually be a great flight.
Then there they were. The little boy with chocolate chip crumbs on his chin crawling into the seat next to me. The mom settled in and took off her son’s shoes. He wiggled and shrieked and wedged himself on the floor between the seats.
“I just want to apologize in advance,” she said.
And I knew. I knew God was answering my prayer. Be the blessing.
“Don’t even worry about it,” I said. “I have three boys. I know contained spaces can be tough.” She smiled weakly.
The flight attendant walked by checking that seatbelts and tray tables were secure. “Ma’am, his seatbelt needs to be fastened.”
“Come on, Jack. Time to buckle.” She hoisted him off the floor and held up the blue strap. He arched his back and yelped loud enough to make heads turn. “You’re okay. You’re okay,” she said in soothing tones and let the seatbelt fall back in place, far from her son’s waist. The rule follower in me cringed.
The next three hours were punctuated by screams and squirming. When Jack’s mom tried to get the toddler to rest in her lap, his feet kicked against my thigh. When the cartoon on her phone ended, when she offered the wrong snack, when he dropped his toy for the fourteenth time, Jack wailed. She stayed calm.
“You’re okay,” she said.
“You’re okay,” he repeated.
Somewhere between the complimentary peanuts and the woman in front of us glaring back again, I struck up a conversation. Typical questions: How old is your son? Do you have other kids? Are you headed home or going on a trip? Jack just turned three and had two older step-siblings. They were on their way home.
“It’s not easy flying with a little one,” I said. “You’re doing a really great job.”
“Thanks. This is way better than last time.”
I saw a wince of remembrance flash over her face.
“Jack got diagnosed with autism a couple months ago. He’s not very verbal and gets easily frustrated. But he started therapy and it’s really helping.”
I had hoped for a quiet space to work and rest. That didn’t happen. I didn’t prepare for my meetings or take a nap, but I did catch a glimpse of Jesus.
When the seatbelt sign dinged on, the flight attendant was quick to check my seatmate’s status. Again, she tried to comply. Again, Jack refused. But never once did this mama get mad. Never once did she shame her child or try to justify his behavior. She just loved him.
Before we landed I leaned over and said, “I just have to tell you, you’re a really wonderful mom. You’ve been incredibly patient and kind in a situation that I’m sure isn’t easy to handle. He’s lucky to have you.”
“Thanks. I wasn’t always like this. But I learned quickly that I can make it worse or help him as best I can. He’s a good boy even when it’s hard.”
The engines hummed louder as we made our final descent. Jack nuzzled closer to his mama. With a stranger’s tiny toes pressed against me, all I could think was:
What if we’re supposed to be the answer to our prayer? What if we changed the way we prayed?
Instead of, Lord, bless them – Lord, prepare me to be a blessing.
Instead of, Lord, show them kindness – Lord, empower me to be kind.
Instead of, Lord, provide – Lord, give me eyes to see and a willingness to give.
Appearances never tell the whole story. May we be quick to extend grace and kindness to our fellow travelers. There is so much we do not understand. As we pray, may we be ready to be part of God’s answer. The greatest blessing will likely be ours.
To the woman I didn’t want to sit next to: I’m thankful for the gift of time with you — and Jack. What a great flight.
Leave a Comment
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Becky,
I had a very similar flight on my way from Raleigh to Orlando. I was the lucky winner in the game of assigned seat roulette to be smack in the middle of a young family traveling to Disney World. There was Mackenzie by the window (age 4), mom, me, dad, and Colton (a very anxious first time traveler, age 2). Let’s just say that the flight was a game of ping pong with Colton – trying to calm his anxious crying on a plane- mom and dad took their turns at calming. After switching seats, Mackenzie and I became fast friends. We colored, talked princesses, discussed what she was looking forward to seeing at Disney, and I listened to her song she was going to sing at preschool graduation. In between, I, like you, assured mom that she was doing the best she could under the circumstances and that she didn’t have to keep apologizing. Was it the trip I was expecting? No, but God called me to be the blessing. We’re not always called when it’s most convenient to us, but in a small way God used me and reminded me of the days that I felt like a failure as a young mom. He spoke over my heart that day and said, “Bev, you did your best….just like that momma on the plane.” In being the blessing, I was blessed….
Blessings to you Becky….loved this post 🙂
Bev xx
Lynn Koukal says
Give and it shall be given unto you, Jesus was above all, kind.
Becky Keife says
Amen, Lynn. May we walk in the footsteps of HIs kindness. xx
Becky Keife says
What a gift you were to that young family, Bev! And I love how in the midst of it, God tenderly showed you how He looked upon you with warmth and affirmation in your early mothering days. He’s just so good like that.
Reed P. Gagnon says
Many years ago I was traveling by bus in the midwest – a young mom with a young son sat next to me. Seats were filled so she had her son on her lap. It was at night and her son was sleepy. She was trying to keep her boy from bothering me. I told her to just let him lay across our laps so he could rest. I felt she was thankful, and realized that because I am white and she was black her fears were relieved.
Ronja says
What a beautiful story in every way!
Lynn Koukal says
Being human affords us to be Christ like in challenging times
Becky Keife says
Thank you, Ronja!
Michele Morin says
As a boy mama, my heart melted as I read this post, Becky.
And I feel as if I’ve been given an assignment this morning to open my own eyes to all the opportunities around me to cooperate with God in answering my prayers for other’s blessing and their good.
Sharon Alford says
Just confirms my theory be kind to everyine you don’tknow what they are going through. We all have our crosses to bear. You really lifted this lady up just what we are supposed to do. Good for you (and her)!
Lynn Koukal says
Allowing Jesus to handle the difficult is extending His grace
Becky Keife says
Michelle, may we all live our lives “on assignment” of kindness! xx
Jas says
Love your post it reminds me of the many times I traveled alone with the kids from NZ back home to Australia and boy were some of those trips tough! What every parent in that situation needs is someone who understands beside them and around them encouraging! You were probably more of a blessing then you know! A great reminder for me to try and be the blessing to others.
Jas x
Becky Keife says
I wish I could hand out pie and hugs to every parent traveling solo with little ones!
Andree Hidalgo says
Loved reading this very practical and real-life post, Becky! Thank you for reminding us, as women, NOT to JUDGE…it is the root of so much ugliness in our world today. I’m impressed with your kind Jesus-like patient spirit as a neighboring passenger and will reflect on this post in my own travels in the future.
Thank you!
Becky Keife says
So glad this was an encouragement to you, Andree! If we can put down judgement and take up kindness, how much better the world would be.
Kendra burton says
How lovely! What a great reminder.
Lynn Koukal says
Oh for the heart of Jesus more and more in us
Cheryl says
This is just beautiful. Such a powerful lesson in being Jesus’ hands, feet, ears, shoulders, and love to a weary mama who needed understanding and grace. I am a mama of one precious boy, and this just really touched my heart. Thank you so much for sharing this, Becky!
Becky Keife says
I appreciate you being here and reading, Cheryl.
Courtney says
Deeply moved by this. Beautiful message.
Becky Keife says
Thank you, Courtney.
Ellen says
What a beautiful reminder to be the blessing Jesus wants us to be. Thank you.
Becky Keife says
I hope to live this reminder more myself, too! Thank you, Ellen.
Brenda says
Be the answer. I like that, Becky. Lord, open our eyes & prepare us to be vessels of blessing today. ♥
(P.S., I have three boys too. 🙂 )
Becky Keife says
Amen, Brenda! And always hugs for fellow mamas of lots of boys! xx
Meghan Weyerbacher says
Becky this is so powerful and you write so beautifully!
Becky Keife says
Blessed to hear that, Meghan. Thank you.
Joan Moore says
Oh that we would all live this out each and every day with everyone we meet!!! What a beautiful reminder to act like Jesus in ALL situations, especially in everyday interactions. I pray that I will be a blessing to someone today!!
Becky Keife says
Joining you in that prayer, Joan!
Jen Fletcher says
Becky, this story is so beautiful and an encouragement to reach out in bravery and faith even when we just want moments alone and quiet. As an introvert, I do crave those moments alone, but with 4 kids they’re few and far between. I must admit that sweet mama on the plane is a much better model of patience than I can be with my most difficult child. Just reading about her makes me want to be better for him though. Thanks so much for sharing!
Becky Keife says
Jen, I was thinking the same thing about my challenging boy while I was watching this mama pour out kindness and patience on her son. We have so much to learn from each other. I think choosing a posture of kindness opens our heart to receiving the gift we would have otherwise judged–at least it did for me that day.
Dietra Kessel says
What a beautiful way of looking at prayer. Thank you.
Becky Keife says
I’m grateful to share, Deitra. Thanks for reading.
Loretta says
Mamas we are all warriors. Only our weapons are kindness, joy, hope, smiles of understanding and encouragement.
The enemy does not know how to battle these as we don’t fight fair – we have Jesus on our side and he has already won the battle over sin, spiritual death and the grave.
In the words of Winston Churchill, never surrender!!!!!’
Be blessed brave warriors
Becky Keife says
Accepting that blessing! Thank you, Loretta.
Penny says
Becky,
What a sweet, touching story of kindness, and understanding, thank-you so much for sharing it. What a blessing that you were chosen to be Jack and his Mom’s temporary neighbor (to love).
Have a blessed day all,
Penny
Becky Keife says
Chosen to be a neighbor. Well, that sure is a beautiful and powerful way to put it. Yes! Thank you, Penny. xx
Jen says
Just what I needed today. I am taking dinner to a new mom/family who just had her second baby. Being a mom of two boys, now 18 & 20, I remember when sleeplessness set in between 2 to 4 weeks after birth, so I called this mom to offer dinner and she was thrilled. It gives me joy in knowing I am being a blessing. I love when Bev said that God told her she did her best even though she felt like a failure as a mom. We all have felt that way at times. After mothering two boys while experiencing depression, migraines and anxiety, I often felt like a failure and would pray at night, “Lord please help them to forget the bad things and remember the good things.” God is good because they don’t have bad childhood memories and they turned out awesome! Thank you Lord! I am going to be traveling by plane to Dallas in three weeks and will be thinking about how to bless someone else on this trip. Thank you Becky!❤️
Becky Keife says
Just nodding along, Jen, and giving thanks for your beautiful heart and comment. I too hope to remember the challenges in stages gone by so I can reach back a hand to those a few steps behind me. I’m sure your dinner was a huge blessing to that family! Kindness doesn’t have to be extravagant to be powerful. Bless you.
Beth Williams says
Jen,
God will bless you for helping this young family out. We are called to be the hands & feet of Jesus. In this crazy world we need to be more kind & loving. Thank you for thinking of them.
Blessings 🙂
Gail Noe says
Very special. Thank you
Jen says
Wow … what a heart felt story , Becky !
And such a great reminder as this is a very busy traveling season…
Thanks for sharing.
Bless you …
Becky Keife says
Appreciate you being here and reading, Jen! Blessings as you travel with eyes ready to see and a heart ready to respond.
Anne says
Our daughter in law is flying home today with our grandson who has autism. She is an AMAZING PATIENT Mom. It is a long flight. I pray that they will be surrounded by people who will bless her and him with patience and understanding.
Becky Keife says
Anne, I’m guessing I’m seeing your comment after your daughter-in-law has already finished her travel, but I’m joining you in that prayer, whether for this or the next trip!
Brenda Hoffman says
DEAR Becky and all you other special “Ladies of the LORD” from (in)courage,
How GRATEFUL I am to have ‘come upon you’ online! Your daily emails encourage & strengthen me as I often use them & my perpetual calendars along with Bible Scriptures, etc. to help me start & finish the day ‘in the LORD’!
Continued Blessings to “you’all” as you bless those of us who receive your writings of His Love & Strength & Wisdom, ETC.
Becky Keife says
Brenda, I’m so blessed to read your comment. We’re so glad to have you at the (in)courage table! Thanks for being here. xxx
Martha says
I just love this message- BE the blessing. In Jan Karon’s Father Tim Series of books, Father Tim’s daily prayer is, “Lord, make me a blessing to someone today”. That’s it. Simple and powerful. Exactly what you share here. And the cool thing is- when we are a blessing, we get blessed right back. It’s a two-for-one deal! Thanks for reminding me of this simple way to start the day!
Becky Keife says
Lord, make me a blessing. Imagine if we all made that our daily prayer! Thanks so much for sharing that, Martha. Blessed to know this post resonated with you.
Missy says
My mama and Grammys heart was so touched by this story. Be the blessing- my new mooto! THANK YOU
Josephine-Anne Griffiths says
What a beautiful post. Thank you so much for sharing Becky. God bless.
Allie Pepper says
Thank you Becky for this lovely post, it made my day and was (also) just what I needed!! I take my first flight in less than two weeks and although the fleeting mental image of loading into the plane like sardines and a restless guest may have induced a tiny bit of anxiety, God has a way of making any situation a positive one when I allow His light to shine through me in all I do and say. May I use this as a reminder to redirect my own prayers asking God to help me to be the blessing for others as He did for you. You are a very talented writer that is without a doubt uplifting hearts and touching so many lives.❤
Becky Keife says
Allie, thank you for your kind words. Saying a prayer for you now in preparation for your first flight! Where are you headed?
Allie Pepper says
Hi Becky! You are welcome and thank you for the thoughtful prayer as well. I will be flying to New York for my nursing graduation commencement (along with 3 of my sisters), from there to NYC to shop and visit sites, then onto Niagara Falls and Canada.
Texas Aggie Mom says
Becky,
I wish I had read these words or had this sort of encouragement when I was a single mom trying to cope with raising a strong-willed hyperactive daughter on my own. But it’s never too late! In reading your story, I found the strength and encouragement I will need over this holiday week to help my daughter with the houseful of in-laws descending on her. Her three year old is trying to adjust to the new baby sister that has upended her entire universe; typical sibling adjustment issues, but very difficult for her mama to deal with in the midst of delivery complications and learning to breastfeed. It’s easy for me to lose patience with the toddler when she’s losing her little mind, but now I’m just going to hug her and remind her (and myself!) “you’re okay.” May you be as blessed by sharing this story as many of us are by reading it.
Becky Keife says
I just love how the Lord works — renewing our perspective just when we need it. Praying for your time as you love both your daughter and granddaughter. Transitions can be so hard! Add house guests and a new baby on top of that! Yowza. I’m so glad she has your support. Thank you for sharing that this post was meaningful to you, Texas Aggie Mom!
Tonya says
An amazing story! Thanks for sharing!
Connie Rowland says
Hi Becky! Thank you for sharing this. It’s funny how God works sometimes. As you were praying for this mother, God was preparing your heart to bless her with kindness. I have a relative who has autism. Patience is key and in this crazy world we live in it’s not always easy. But God has used this to show me what is really important in life and to slow down and pay attention to the need of this wonderful person. So, I echo your prayer, Lord help me to be a blessing and to see the need in front of me. Saying a prayer for you as well, Becky. May God bless you!
Becky Keife says
Thank you, dear Connie.
Mia says
I am teary-eyed by this…simply beautiful, heart-provoking and self-assessing. Thank you for reminding me of how I should react/respond and for prompting me to promote continued growth in many areas of my life and attitude. With MUCH gratitude…Blessings! ♥
Becky Keife says
Mia, so grateful to have you here at the (in)courage table. It blesses my heart to know that God is using this story not only in my own life but in yours too.
Robert VanDoren says
Thank you for your story. Reminds me of the prayer of St Francis. Lord, may I seek not so much to be blessed, as to be a blessing. Not so much to receive or be wanting, as to be kind to others as You have been to me. Open my eyes, my mind, my heart, so that I may truly see You in others.
I am grateful for your inspiring story.
Bridget A. Thomas says
This is so beautiful! What a fresh perspective! I have been in many similar situations. I usually am the one who wants to keep to herself. But there have been times when I have had the grace to be a blessing. Unfortunately it is not my default reaction, but I am trying to change that. Thank you for sharing! <3
Becky Keife says
Bridget, my preference is usually to “mind my own business” too — mostly because engaging with others or someone in need is costly in some way. I’m thankful for this experience and how God is using it in my own life to help me change my default too. Thank you for being here and voicing that this resonated with you.
Kamilah says
I have embraced and made many friendships this month. My goal is to make someone’s life the best it can be. We may have different opinions about things but God’s Love is the key!
Becky Keife says
God’s love is the key! Yes, Kamilah! Love your heart to show that in tangible ways to the friends in your life.
Rashawnda Dunbar says
Becky, thank you for sharing such a beautiful story. To think that we ourselves may be the answer to our prayers is quite humbling and further illustrates the awesome power of God. There are times when I’ve rushed to judgment about a situation or a person without understanding the full picture. When we allow God to work in us and through us, he can use us as an instrument to bless others, even as we are also blessed. Thank God for your spirit of obedience and being receptive to Jack and his mom that day. I’m sure you were just the blessing they needed.
God bless you!
Becky Keife says
Thank you, Rashawnda. Grateful for your insight today. May we posture our hearts each day asking God to show us how to be the blessing.
Beth Williams says
Becky,
This world is full of disunity & hatred. We as Christians are called to be like Jesus-more loving & encouraging. God is talking loud & clear to us today. He is telling us that “Kind is the new classy”. Asking us to quit judging people & start loving them instead. I want to be the hands & feet of Jesus to those around me. To that end when someone is sick, has family in hospital or other issues I offer to cook meals for them. My first thought is making sure all is well & feed them. Recently a friend’s father had a work incident where a tree fell on him (logger). That weekend I got a bunch of food together & took it to her. The family didn’t ask for it, but I knew deep in my heart they could use it. Just love helping others in that way. May God bless you for being kind to that young mother.
Blessings 🙂
Becky Keife says
Beth, I love that you didn’t even ask, you just did. Sometimes I think we’re the greatest blessing when we simply see a need and meet it, when we truly love a friend, a neighbor, a strange the way we would want to be loved. Giving food is such a practical way to meet a need and show someone they are seen. What a gift! xx
Brooke Frick says
Love this Becky!! I started reading when you first posted it, but never got to finish. Today I find myself with a little time this morning and able to go back and read some I missed. Love this perspective, and I LOVE how God teaches us things. He sees situations so much differently than we do, and He has purposes far better than ours could ever be. 🙂