About the Author

Jodi Harris is a Bible teacher, speaker, writer, pastor’s wife and boy mom in passionate pursuit of Jesus and living a better story. She encourages, inspires and equips women to use their gifts and lives fully for God. To live the adventurous story He has imagined for each of us.

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  1. Jodi, this offering is particularly meaningful to me because you’re sharing your heart before the story has resolved. I have a tendency to go through the angst and hold it close, and then emerge on the other side with a story. (“I’m fine! See? I’m fine! Really.”)
    Thank you for serving faithfully alongside your husband and for accepting the by products of the awkward relationships and the hurts that don’t go away for a while. May you find a soft landing and a warm circle of acceptance in this fellowship of believers.

    • Thank You Jodi for sharing your heart with me. I’m a recovering alcoholic and as my sobriety rolls by a day at a time I too have demons in my past. I was a drunk must longer than sober. Thinking always I was a good mother of three and a wife. The alcohol took that good life away from me. Continue to share what God has given you. You are a true blessing in my life. My God has taught me today that I don’t have to do this alone. Lv, Lynn

      • Hi Lynn – Thank you for your vulnerability and honesty. This too, lets people they are not alone in their pain. As a result, may our honesty be the place where God then begins to heal us. 🙂

      • Lynn,

        Thank you for being so vulnerable. That will help many women going through trials. I pray God will continue to help you heal. No you don’t have to do this healing on your own. I pray God places the right people in your path to help you on this journey. Thanks again for the honesty!

        Blessings 🙂

    • Thank you Michele! I, too, tend to share stories after they are resolved. I am learning to write in the middle place where I am most vulnerable and most real. I’m glad it resonated.

  2. Jodi,
    This summer I’ve been hearing the sound of the cicadas. It’s funny how sounds can take you back to your childhood. We had no air-conditioning, and I remember being lulled to sleep by their sound knowing that all was well in my tidy childhood world. Lately, life has hit hard for me as well. When life spins out of control, I/we need and anchor. We all do. We crave knowing that our identity is firmly in Christ and that nothing – not circumstances, the enemy, other people, words, or actions is going to change that. Lately, I’ve been listening to this song by Tauren Wells called “Known”. It’s a beautiful declaration of truth that talks of God’s ridiculous grace. I listen to it on a daily basis these days along with reading God’s Word and let that be my anchor. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xckDgX8xNfg
    Beautiful and heartfelt post!
    Blessings,
    Bev xx

  3. Jodi, thank you for this post. I needed it today. I am Discipleship pastor’s wife. It can be a lonely road.
    I returned home to DC area after visiting my parents in Kentucky. I had a lot of memories racing through my brain.
    It was a happy but emotional visit.
    Seeing friends from college, visiting the middle school where I was a cheerleader, and driving by the high school I graduated.

    • Adria – I know what you mean. Every time I visit home, so many memories flood in. They can be happy, but also emotional. And yes, the pastor’s wife role can be lonely. After many years, I’ve decided to lead with authenticity. It allows others the space for grace in their own lives (and towards me) and realize we as pastors’ wives are in no way perfect, but just like them. It builds a bridge to friendship and allows God to do His transforming work in our lives and in those around us.

  4. God is faithful and has proved that over and over again in my life. Jodi, thank you for the role you have taken, I am sure it is not easy to be a pastors wife and especially when you enter a new church. I pray that God continually brings you comfort and provides you with friends and community right where you are.

  5. Dear Jodi,
    Thank you for sharing with us and being so open and honest about this part of your journey. I pray for your time and place you are in right now. I thank you for including the love and security you felt and still with you at your Grandparents when you were young, and I pray that for my own.
    Ro. 15:13
    NJ

  6. Jodi,
    Your honest vulnerable spirit has touched my heart this morning. I am grateful for women like you who model trust in the midst of the struggle and are willing to be “real” enough to voice their feelings. Press on, soldier sister. The battle has already been fought and won and that mansion over the hilltop has a sweet spot with your name on it. Blessings as you serve in Jesus name. He is pleased, be assured of that.

    • Hi Teresa – So grateful for your words here. And thankful for a God who has won the battle. We need only to be still! In recent years, I have learned the freedom in vulnerability and how it frees others to do the same. It connects us, and it heals us. Thank you for your encouragement today!

      • Jodi – preach it sister. Transparency begets transparency. My husband and I are part of the re|engage marriage ministry at our church. God is changing people one person… and couple at a time through openness and sharing life together. It is truly the body of Christ as He intended it. Glory to Him.

  7. Jodi-
    This part hits me hard! This is my current season in life. Trying to find my way…

    “This current season of life feels weary as I struggle to find my place in the new church my husband pastors, to build relationships and use my gifts to serve. I awkwardly lean into various opportunities that just don’t click. A pastor’s wife role is strange to me, even after many years. I ruminate on imaginary expectations and how I should behave appropriately. I fear judgment. Past accusations cut deep, and my wounded heart still needs healing from old hurts I’ve struggled to let go of.”

    Thank you for sharing your heart. It helps knowing I am not alone.

    In HIS Grip!
    Kendra

    • Father God, thank You for my sister Kendra who is also in this current season of life. I ask that You would comfort her and bring her wisdom to find her place as she seeks to serve You. Please bring her friends to minister to her heart and walk alongside her in this journey. May Your joy be her strength. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

  8. Jodi, you are enough. God is with you and only encouraging words from Him and people who love you matter. All the other words are just noise from the evil one. You are loved. You are treasured, in fact! Rest in God’s love for you.

  9. Jodi,
    Your words were deeply touching, thank-you for sharing. No matter what walk of life we take, there will be times of hardship, but that we don’t have to walk it alone makes it possible. It will be okay Jodi……..”The weather will clear and the sun will shine bright.”
    Have a blessed day all,
    Penny

    • You are right, Penny. No matter what walk of life we take, there will be times of hardship, and we don’t have to walk alone! The more vulnerable and authentic I am to share my struggles, I find others more willing to share theirs. As a result, we then find healing in Christ and companionship with Him and with those who are willing to walk with us.

  10. Hi Jodi,

    Your post put a smile on my face and a tug at my heart this morning! I, too, have fond memories on my grandparents’ farm. Mine involve waking up super early so I could greet the morning with the roosters crowing (I LOVE roosters!)! It was a simpler time for sure.

    I’m in the “in between” phase in my life. My hubby and I are empty nesters as we sent his son (my awesome stepson! ❤) off for his senior year of college. I’m going through perimenopause (oh joy! :->) and I’m working on rebranding my writing business and ministry, specifically asking The Lord what He wants to do through me in these endeavors. This season of not working as I’ve healed from severe anxiety and panic attacks (doing much better! :->) has not been an easy one, but God is teaching me to lean on Him and trust Him on a much deeper level. Not easy but totally worth it!

    Sometimes I long for the sounds of those roosters, but The Lord has given me bright sunrises to remind me of how much He loves me. He loves you as well, friend, and is so pleased with you in this new phase of your life! Blessings on you!

    Praise God from Whom All Blessings Flow!

    Joy in Jesus,
    Lara

    • Thank you, Lara. I, too, have struggled with severe anxiety and panic attacks. Not easy at all! You are right, though, I’ve learned to lean on Him and trust Him at a much deeper level. I’m sure your writing will resonate with many others with similar struggles and help them along their journey with Christ. Thank you for your encouragement. Let me know if you have a website where I can read your writing!

  11. Wow. Thank you for reminding us that we find ourselves known in His presence. We want to be known in so many other ways. But it our true self is known only in Him.

  12. Your openness & vulnerability truly is an inspiration to so many. I am walking right there beside you sister. Thanks for always turning me back to Jesus!

  13. Greetings from Costa Rica!

    Thank you Jodi for sharing things your heart keeps. That makes you a real woman like any other, with feelings of fear, doubt, loneliness, etc. But a woman who knows you can go to the presence of the Lord at any time because He is there for you.

    May God continue blessing you with peace, wisdom and love.

  14. This is a beautiful sharing of feelings from your heart. I, too, would love to have acceptance for who I am. I always feel that I’m being compared to someone. I would love to be able to raise my two children all over again. It was during those years that I was just me and so loved by my now-grown babies.
    May God bless you.

    • Thank you, Sarah. May God also bless you, and maybe you find that season again where you can be yourself, knowing you are deeply loved exactly as you are!

  15. Beautifully written. I used to think that once I got through college and found my career, that I would be settled. Then kids came which pushed back my being settled expectation. I thought that when the kids grew up and out of the house, my over abundance of peace would finally arrive. I am finding out that this empty nest transition is bigger than I expected. Trudging through …. thanks for sharing.

    • Thanks Lisa – I find myself wondering some of the same things. Each season is full of expectations I have — it’s bittersweet to know that many of my expectations go unmet but also that God fulfills me in other ways according to HIS plan, not mine. Sometimes I rest well in this, other times not so much. A journey for sure!

  16. The place of a Bible teaching church has always been a safe-haven. But when the church is attacked and false doctrine moves in, where do you go? It is by the Word of God hidden in my heart that brings me peace even in the midst of turmoil. The Biblical Path of Life is a great study that compares Scripture to Scripture to one understand that God has had a plan from the beginning (see http://www.biblicalpath.com for more information). I pray that you find peace in your heart and the place God has for you in this venture in your new church.

  17. Jodi,
    I’ve been anticipating this publication! Your ability to reach deep into the heart’s of God’s people is definitely His gift to you and to all of us! Keep it up, girl, we need more of this type of humility and honesty!
    I think I’ll just use Paul’s beautiful words to thank you for sharing from your heart…
    “Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, “Sister”, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord’s people.” Phil 1:7

  18. Jodi, I love how God is reminding you, both through Scripture and a sweet memory of the past, that He sees you, He is with you and for you and preparing a place for you. It’s a reminder we all need in different seasons. Such a gift to host your words at the (in)courage table. xx

  19. To be Fully Known and Loved by Him!
    If there was no other promise than this from my God, and I could ask for nothing more, then I would be breathless before Him with overwhelming gratitude and humility.
    Thank you for the reminder Jodi.

  20. Beautiful, Jodi! ♥️
    I love the comment above made by Michele….that you are sharing this as you’re going through it!!
    Thank you

  21. Thank you, Jodi. Thanks to GOD for your words and the Scriptures posted. I too am weary of the spiritual war. There are some situations in my life that make no sense to say the least. I know the LORD is with me, but the battle is tiresome. The spoken lies and lies in my head get tangled with who GOD says I am, but by His Grace, His Word brings clarity. My strength and hope is restored. I “am” fully known to Him.

    • It’s places like the (in)courage community where we can walk with fellow soldiers in this spiritual battle and find the comfort and strength of Christ. I’m grateful God gives us community and His presence to help us through.

  22. I love this, Jodi. Thank you for the hope in the midst of homesickness. I join you in the desire to find my HOME in his presence each day.

    • Sherri – missing you and praying that your new temporary “home” is feeling more settled and that God continues to show you gifts of His presence in ways that speak to your heart! Love you!

  23. Beautiful! This connects so much to what our sermon had this last weekend. We are Exiles… It is even more difficult IMO to navigate life as a pastor’s wife sometimes feeling even more alone. Thanks for sharing and also praying for you now. May we absolutely surrender and find life to the fullest this side of heaven.

  24. The role of a pastor and spouse are challenging. My prayers for you to be loved and accepted just as you are by those you serve. No one does it perfectly. That’s ok. Let God be your guide. Live in love not fear. Experience gives me perspective to share with you. Trust God’s love that you are enough. Hugs sister in Christ.

    • Thank you, Mary. I’ve found the more authentic I am with my experiences, the more it opens up others to do the same. In my honesty, I find healing and also connection to others who realize pastors’ wives are no different from them. The freedom that comes from carrying each other’s burdens is what I believe the church is all about!

  25. Jodi,

    Life here on earth can get hard. There is a constant flurry of change in our lives. No one likes going through change. We lose the feeling of safety & security we had as children. We all long for a safety net or our security blanket. People want to be known, loved & to feel useful. Lately this sinful world has me longing for a different home. I’ve asked God when is He coming back-I’m ready to go & be with my Jesus. Tired of “trash” going on & missing people in my life.

    Being a pastor’s wife is not easy job by any means. Changing churches makes the job that much harder. Thank you for sharing your story & praying for you. May God send some friends your way.

    Blessings 🙂

  26. Thank you so much for sharing Jodi. I can relate in several ways and you, along with others, give me hope. After having a wall up for so long, it’s hard to remove. Being vulnerable, open, honest, etc., can actually heal? I know it hurt me in the past and the struggle(s) have been real, although at first it did bring connection. Then things happened. Betrayal and Rejection are both real to me. It’s amazing how I feel I’ve lost myself in marriage and being a mom. Now it seems at least parts of my old life are being lived by others! This is a lonely place as I try to “wait on God” for direction and abide in His protection. Here at (in)courage seems to be the only place for me to have “real friends” that I can completely trust.

  27. Miss Jodi,

    Thank you for letting God use you. What a blessing of encouragement and hope your words are. I hope you have a blessed day.

    This side of Heaven,
    Summer

  28. I don’t know anyone truly serving Christ who isn’t dealing with something now. May God bless you as a pastor’s wife, they are often overlooked and expected too much of. Praying you have two or three strong supporters.