About the Author

Becky loves serving as (in)courage’s Community Manager. She is a speaker and author of No Better Mom for the Job. Becky is a huge fan of Voxer, Sunday naps, and championing women. She lives near Los Angeles and loves hiking shady trails with her husband and three spirited sons.

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  1. My daughter is scheduled to start preschool in exactly two weeks. I’m a mix of emotions. Intellectually, I know that will be great for her development and social skills. But, my heart is really tugging at me since I have been home with her since she is born. How did other Mommas handle the start of school?

    • Elizabeth,
      You’re not alone, mama, in feeling the pain of transition. I’d encourage you to make space for all your feelings. You can be excited for your daughter and all the new things she’ll learn and fun experiences she’ll have in preschool, yet also mourn that the season of just being home together is changing. In these heart-tugging kind of times is when my gratitude for what I have has grown along with an expectant heart for the new kinds of good God has for us in the season to come. xx

  2. I can never hear this reminder too many times, and even today, I am having coffee later with another mum, and together we will talk about the hard letting go of sons moving to western states shaped like boxes and the empty bedrooms and bare closets left behind. We never stop needing Him and each other.

  3. Dearest Becky, thank you for your beautiful honest post. So many Mums think they’re the only ones to feel like you did. I pray they would find a safe person to share with. Also I pray wisdom for the Mums struggling to look after grown up offspring, who left, then returned home. I pray they would find the balance between mothering & smothering..God is our perfect guide.

  4. My children are the exact same age differences as yours (with a girl in the middle of two boys). You captured those feelings of questioning so well. Thank you for taking me back and for reminding me how far we’ve come.

    One day, with two in the double stroller and one strapped to my chest, I was simply walking through the park and couldn’t hold back the trickle of tears. Another women saw us, put her hands to her heart and gave me a thumbs up. As we passed, she said, “It gets better.” I clung to that and am still thankful for her encouragement and camaraderie.

    • Missy, that little snapshot of motherhood solidarity gives me chills. What power we have as women to see one another. Sometimes that’s all we need to remember that God sees us too and walks with us. And yes, thankful for how far we’ve come too. xx

  5. Love this — “Stay the course. You’ll find your rhythm. It will get easier.” So true. My worn jogging stroller was also a lifesaver of sorts. Motherhood does not always look pretty, but looking over the landscape of it all, it is a beautiful picture to behold. And over it all is our redeeming God, taking each of our moments—the epic failures and the victories—and weaving them into a treasure that we will one day look back on with gratitude.

  6. lovely write up. I clearly remember those days of young children..mine were a few years apart but always on the go !!
    I love being a mom above all else , it feels to me that if we give what we can & honestly pray through the rest it turns out well. the younger years definetly are harder tho..but thankfully time moves on and babies sleep through the night …many years later teens sleep alot and we are the ones waking them up in the morning !!! ( after all those nights they woke us up all hours as a baby).
    while it’s a hard tiring job..capture each moment . praise God with a open heart that you have a gift to love. mine are heading off to college soon…i still wonder where the toddler days went that felt like yesterday.

  7. Good morning, Becky! Yes, I remember that alone feeling. My kids are all grown now, with kids of their own. I came from a generation where the women could never admit we didn’t have it all together. We trudged on in our own little worlds, completely oblivious to everyone else’s struggles. We were always “fine”. Years later we admitted we weren’t “fine” at all. Thank the Lord, young women are better now at reaching out to each other. May you all be blessed in small ways and great!

    • Thank you, Irene. I’m really grateful to have friends in real life and places like this online to be honest about both the beauty and struggles of faith, motherhood, and womanhood.

  8. Thank you for this. I so needed it. You described how I feel everyday. I needed to be reminded that although I feel alone, I am not. God is with me in the crazy of raising a strong willed toddler.

    • Sending you a virtual hug, cup of coffee, and very real prayers today, Beth. God gave me three *spirited* boys. He was with me in the toddler years…and I know God is with you too. xx

  9. Thank you for sharing God’s whisper, I needed to hear it today. I am a single working mom of 3 little ones born in my heart. My oldest is my son who is 3 1/2 years old and my two girls will be 15 and 18 months old in a few days. Knowing that I prayed to be a mom at this very late stage in my life makes it hard for me to be honest with others about the struggles. God has mercifully put me contact with several other ladies through a support group of adoptive and foster moms and on a daily basis sends people my way to discuss fostering and adopting. Somedays I feel like a fraud because while I have a full time nanny I never feel that my kiddos get enough of my individual time and attention or that I too have just fallen down on the bathroom floor in a puddle of tear feeling overwhelmed and ill equipped as a mother. However, each time I pray for God to help and guide me to be the best mother they need me to be, I exhale and know I am turning it over to the One who knows best. My children are a blessing above and beyond my wildest dreams even when all three are crying and trying to be held and comforted at the same time. When my son says I love you the more and the most and my girls try to say mama I am melted by their love and reminded of God’s great love for me. Be Blessed Today!

    • Oh, Lisa. You capture the beauty and joy right alongside the very real struggle of motherhood. Whether we stumble into motherhood through birth, marriage, fostering, or adoption, I truly believe God has a plan and purpose for us and our kids. He’s faithful to fill in the gaps for what we lack and tomorrow bring mercies new. You are a warrior, mama! Proud of you and praying for you today.

  10. Becky,

    I’ve never mothered littles. I did mother two aging adults. That was the hardest times in my life. There is no preparation for that. Both of mine had severe dementia. I never knew when the phone would ring & off we’d go to hospital. There were times I wanted to just run away. Tired of always being anxious about what was to come. Often praying God would take them home to end their suffering. God & a good friend helped me through those times. Now I’m here to say to others going through that “You are not alone!!” Have questions or just want to talk I’m here for you. I understand some of what you’re dealing with.

    Blessings 🙂

  11. Thank you for sharing! It is always great to hear we are not alone from other Mothers. I have a 13 year old son, 10, and 8 year old Daughters. It is definitely hard.