I recently found a few of my clothes from college in a box that was tucked away in the garage. They say fashion trends come back every ten to twenty years, so I was pretty excited to see my favorite pair of jeans in that box. I quickly ran to my closet to put them on. I started planning the top and shoes I would wear with it. All of a sudden, I realized these jeans weren’t coming up past my thighs. I wiggled and jumped. Nothing worked. I yanked on the belt loops so hard, for one final try, only to rip them off. I was furious.
I stared at the long mirror that hung on the back of my closet door. I carefully examined the curves of my hips, the cellulite on my thighs, and the stretchmarks on my waist. I almost didn’t recognize this body. It wasn’t how I remembered it. I mean, I was never skinny but how could I not get these jeans past my thighs? They were my jeans! Tears began to flow. I was angry and frustrated at the reflection I saw in the mirror. I peeled the jeans off my legs, threw them into the corner, and ran out of the closet. I lay in bed feeling bad about myself for a few hours.
Later that week, I was working with an older gentleman who needed physical therapy for weakness and balance. The whole session he kept telling me about his conquest in college and all the sports he played and how now his body was practically useless. Finally, I spoke up and reminded him to focus on his present functional abilities and how far he had come in therapy. I told him that his younger body did what he needed it to do then, but right now his body was doing all the things he needed now. I encouraged him to honor his body for what it was today instead of comparing himself to his past.
When I got home that night, I saw that old pair of jeans lying in the corner of my closet. I went over and picked them up. In that moment I realized that so much had changed in twelve years, including my pant size. I had gotten married, started a career, had two babies, traveled, and lived so much life. I don’t want to go back to 2010; it was a great year but I am grateful for where I am right now.
I decided to take the advice that I had given my patient and honor who I am today. I wasn’t going to resent my body for not meeting an unrealistic goal or punish it through dieting. I decided to throw my twelve-year-old pair of jeans in the trash and stop looking back. In doing so, I thought of Lot’s wife.
Do you remember her? The one who was promised to be saved from destruction only if she would flee without looking back. But she looked back at the life she was asked to leave behind and she was turned into a pillar of salt. This is an Old Testament story that Jesus recalls as a warning to His followers. “Remember Lot’s wife!” (Luke 17:32 CSB) Lot’s wife had a good life and a guaranteed future, but she glanced back at what had brought her comfort instead of focusing on her current call in life.
Something magnetic happens when we look back at the past. The nostalgia pulls us in like quick sand — slowly we are lost in our memories. And the “glory days” or the “good ol’ days” make it hard to find contentment in the present days. It is hard to choose to step into an unknown future when we can sit back and live in the comfort of yesterday’s memories. So Lot’s wife serves as a reminder to forget the former and focus on the future.
Here are two passages to reflect on today:
“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”
Isaiah 43:18-19 (ESV)
“Forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 3:13b-14(NASB)
I was salty over a pair of twelve-year-old jeans not fitting me, just like my patient was about not being able to jump hurdles at the age of eighty. Friend, God is not done with you. He isn’t disappointed that your gifts and talents look different today than they did ten years ago. He wants you just the way you are, right now. The curves, the stretch marks, and the cellulite are part of the story too — don’t wish them away. Instead, know that they are part of your call for today and tomorrow. So no more turning back.
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Amen, Simi! My college roommate cross-stitched a little girl with clothes askew, pigtails coming loose & dirt on her face. The caption reads ” please be patient, God isn’t finished with me yet.” It’s had a place on my wall with every home since then. Oh the grace we need to give ourselves & others as God works in us for a future & a hope! Blessings (((0)))
Amen! What a great reminder!
I have a pair of favorite jeans hanging in my closet, too. Up until 3 years ago, they fit. I didn’t wear them as often as I wanted because I wanted them to last. Well, 20 lbs. later, thanks to an injury that kept me from my usual active life, I learned a valuable lesson about appreciating what I have and making the most if life. I need to acknowledge God all the time and make use of the gifts I’ve been given all the time. So I am focused on service to others. The jeans are a good reminder for me.
Yes, so often we live in the past- but God is here and has a purpose for us in the present.
Fantastic reminder to look forward, not at what was, but what is to be when we follow the plan and purpose God has for our lives. Greater is coming!
Yes! Greater things are yet to come!
Dear Simi……I cried as I read your devotion today. I used to be a very slim women, but due to medical operations that involved a long recovery period and not much activity, I gained weight. I was so crushed when I tried to wear my older clothes. Nothing fit. This had never happened to me before as I was kind of an exercise freak, running, high impact aerobics for 90 minutes then step aerobics, but one thing nobody tells you, that yes, you maybe in excellent shape, but they don’t tell you that as you age, you end up paying for all of this activity. My knees, my feet and my hands just do not work anymore and at 78 I walk with a cane. I can still drive and I live in a Senior Living Facility that is supposed to be Independent living, but they let anyone, no matter their condition in as long as they can pay the rent. There is no care here and these people are lost and I have seen in the 2+ years I have been here so many people come in fine and end up dying here. Many of them have such serious mental problems that their families just dump them here and some of them are dangerous to the rest of us as they do many things that are bad. So now after many years, I have finally gotten clothes that fit me, I know that I have to move from here to a place that is well managed and really cares about their residents instead of just because they can pay. I know, Simi that God is not done with me, but I have serious problems with what used to be my family. They continue to torture me and every day I don’t know what they are going to do to ruin my life even more. That is a tough thing to not look back on, but when I get myself calmed and pray to Jesus and tell Him, I find that He and my Holy Spirit tell me just what you said “God in not done with me” so it enforces me to remember that God works on His own timeline. I need to try and be more patient and I know at some point, something good will happen. I am weary and afraid as this situation should have been over last August, but hey continue. Thank you, Simi. Your words have really helped me and the past year, I have asked many people here, ” Did you ever think when you were 40 that the end of your life would be so very, very different?” Every single one said no as I did as well. Love to you Simi and may you have a Blessed Weekend…………………Betsy Basile
Tearing up reading your comment! Thanks for sharing. Yes, aging itself is not easy but when we lose the ability to do things like we used to – it a reminder of our human limitations. As a physical therapist and a Pastors wife I have seen personal the pain that life can bring about as he get older. But we await a glorious body, we hope in a kingdom without pain or brokenness. So we hold on, trusting Him with our present limitations and depend on Him to see us through!
Well said!
Thank you so much!
Well, I don’t think this necessarily applies to my difficulty putting my socks on this morning. I think I need to work on that issue!
Yea, that is important too!
So true but even when you are convinced Gid is not done with you yet, the question remains, what am I to do now?
Dear Donna….That was a good question you asked. I would like to know the answer to that too. Thanks for your comment.
Love to you……………Betsy Basile
I think we keep our eyes open and hearts sensitive to needs around us and pray into how God would have us be His hands and feet.
In the words of Elizabeth Elliot “simply do the next thing.” Of course she would have assumed we are looking to Jesus to guide next things. A counselor once told me you can’t steer a parked car. Do the next thing you know is good, acceptable, praiseworthy, excellent.
to do. Don’t discount the laundry, call to that friend,or other routine or monotonous thing that you’d like to ignore.
Yes! Good word!
This was really good
thanks so much!
This really hit home. While growing up at one time I weighed 185 pounds that was when I was 17 years old. At one time I got down to 125 pounds. Now I am 73 soon to be 74 and at this point in time I weighed 129. Pounds. I was beating myself up since I had not been able to get those few pounds off. I am like the lady in the story I had always wore a size 12 jeans so I faced facts and purchases a size 14 which fit perfectly. I realized that instead of beating my self up I need to feel blessed that I am healthy at my age.
Yes! We all do this, but we are so much than our pant size and our beautiful bodies have carried us through so much so we honor it.
thank you for sharing…this was good and much needed! after a surgery that has caused me to adjust, i find myself having to learn what this current body can and cannot do. it’s frustrating and a struggle. i’m trying to be intentional about figuring out what i can do rather than focusing on what i can’t (and oh what a process both are!)
Oh yes, as a physical therapist I have seen the frustration in my patients after surgery. It’s hard to make that adjustment but I remind them that their body has just been through trauma so it’s important that we honor it by listening and resting so it can heal- and push it back fast to where it was before surgery. That slowing down is not easy to do for us!