I’ve had a week filled with awkward. It happens. First, I went to a women’s event where I hardly knew anyone. I stood in the foyer picking at a plate of pasta while my heart almost pounded out of my chest. I attempted to make small talk. I went to the bathroom three times in forty-five minutes just to hide. I occasionally stared at my phone so ...
I licked the peanut butter frosting around the entire rim of a cookie sandwich. I did this in the car, shamelessly, at a stoplight on my way home from a prayer meeting. Because I am human. And this is the sort of thing humans, even when they know better, sometimes do. I am not advocating this behavior. Someone once told me if you can’t be an ...
I attend a tea party in the fellowship hall of a small town church about an hour from my home. This is where my parents had their wedding reception, where my grandparents had their fiftieth anniversary party, where my great-grandparents held hands in the pews. Today the tables are covered in white linen and each place setting includes a vintage ...
I’ll celebrate my daughter’s birthday tomorrow. This might seem like a fairly ordinary occurrence. But it’s not to me. Because this is the girl God gave us after almost a decade of infertility. You can read our story here, but the short version is we met when Lovelle was twenty, she became ours at twenty-one, and tomorrow she will blow out ...
I sit across from a friend who knows me well. We’ve walked together for more than a decade. My eyes are tear-filled as I look at her and say, “I messed up.” I tell her of how I have failed in an area that has been an off-and-on battle in my life for years. We all have one, don’t we? I call it our “Signature Struggle.” It’s the choice or habit or ...
Once again, for the third time, the Lord called Samuel. He got up, went to Eli, and said, “Here I am; you called me.” Then Eli understood that the Lord was calling the boy. He told Samuel, “Go and lie down. If he calls you, say, ‘Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.’” So Samuel went and lay down in his place. The Lord came, stood there, and ...
Confession: Sometimes I have a bad attitude at the holidays (please tell me I’m not the only one). I want peace on earth but then I wind up feeling tempted to run over people with my shopping cart when they’re rude. I want to spread cheer but then I get PMS and just want to spread chocolate on every surface I can find. I want to shine brightly like ...
I recently read a magazine article about a human trafficking bust and couldn’t get the story out of my mind. All the next day my life felt too small, too safe. Guilt and shame over what I could be doing overwhelmed me. Have you ever felt that way? Whenever I hear about any injustice, natural disaster, new diagnosis, charity lacking funds, ...
I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on ...
I lay my head on the pillow, soft cotton against my cheek like the palm of a mother’s hand, but I can’t be soothed. Even when I close my eyes, when the blackness comes, I can still see the fists raised, the tears shed, the blood drops on the ground. In this noisy, broken world with the news headlines and the neighbors drawing lines and the ...
