I look around me. Everywhere I turn, I see beauty, from the tree-framed lake to the deep blue sky.
My eyes take in the bright red of the cranberries and the dazzling brilliance of the sun reflecting off the soft blanket of snow. Winter has gently made its appearance.
And I am overwhelmed … overwhelmed with disappointment in myself.
I have so much, yet I appreciate so little.
My life is easy compared to many. I am blessed with a wonderful family, immediate and extended. I live in a beautiful setting and have found work I can do from home. My church is supportive and nurturing.
I have so much more than many.
But satisfaction is fleeting!
While others celebrate the days they can just get out of bed, I complain about being too busy. While others rejoice in the moments when they have the strength to type even a few words, I lament the lack of time to write. While others praise God for the instances they can breathe without pain, I bemoan that I have to take the dog for a walk yet again.
I long for what I don’t have.
I sit in my swing, the snow-sprinkled branches swaying gently in the breeze, surrounded by the sound of geese “talking” and birds chirping, yet a joyful spirit eludes me. I worry, ask what if and how come, and pray.
I pray long and hard. Where is that elusive peace and contentment?
Oh, there are days I can claim it—when I have peace; when I can encourage others with the hope found in Christ; when my heart dances with the joy of knowing Jesus.
Then, a short while later, something doesn’t go the way I want and everyone hears about it, or in an exhausted state I snap back to irritation.
Christ hasn’t changed. Salvation is still mine. God still freely pours out His grace for me.
But I have changed.
I am slowly realizing that all of those issues, whatever those are, must be laid at the foot of the cross. Not once, not twice, but many times—always with my eyes focused on the Savior.
How grateful I am that my God doesn’t give up on me! In His mercy, He lets me turn over my insecurities and heartaches to Him repeatedly. He carries them for me, so I can experience the freedom of living in Christ.
Depressed about missing out on deep conversations with my daughter—give it to Him!
Worry about my children’s futures—lay it down!
Concern over finances—let Him carry it!
But then my eyes shift down, and I once again clothe myself with the weight of this dark world.
My prayer is that one day I will be close enough to Jesus to surrender a hurt once and for all. For now, though, I will embrace His unending grace with joy and thanksgiving.
“Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).
With the dawn of a new year, this is the perfect time to examine our Christian walk and to begin our lives anew, putting our trust in the Redeemer. Are there burdens you carry that you need to lay at the foot of the cross? What is preventing you from doing so? How has the Lord proven faithful to take your load and give you rest?
By Julie SunneLeave a Comment