About the Author

Kaitlyn is a Virtual Assistant, book launch manager, and storyteller who writes about discovering God's goodness in the ordinary and faithfulness in the difficult. She loves good books, deep conversations, and iced vanilla lattes. Kaitlyn is the author of Even If Not: Living, Loving, and Learning in the in Between.

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  1. Kaitlyn,
    I’ve been up for a while, in the middle of the night, because I couldn’t sleep. I have several long unanswered prayers and for some reason they plague me more at 3 am. Your post was just what I needed. I love the thought of being in “the middle of a miracle”. I don’t know if things could drastically change today, 3 weeks from now, 5 years, or maybe the miracle will be in the next life. Like you, my heart has vacillated between hurt and hope, despair and trust, doubt and faith. There are many things I don’t know – especially like how some of these “life stories” will end, but I DO know that God is good, He is faithful, He is love and I can trust Love’s heart. Thanks for a much needed post! Praying for YOU!
    Blessings from “the Middle”,
    Bev xx

    • Bev,
      I’m deeply sorry things are hard but I do hope and pray that they will get better.
      Love & Hugs to you,
      I hope that your day is blessed,
      Penny

    • Bev, me too. Up at 3:00, unable to sleep, again. I’m also in the middle of winter, again. I prayed on my knees this morning because it was all I could think of to do. When the tears fall I know I’ve surrendered my heart to Him. Being in a place of surrender with God, I see it as a good thing. Praying for both of us today, to be sustained by our Heavenly Father who is the Giver of all things good. Thank you Kaitlin for a timely and relevant post.

    • I’m often still awake at 3am… in fact, it’s more unusual for me to be asleep at three than awake. 🙂 Next time I’m laying there praying for sleep, I’ll pray for you.

  2. What a wonderful way to look at life when we are in the in between. We could be in the middle of a miracle and not see it yet. God is faithful and will never leave us, he promises to never forsake us. I take that beautiful thought to bed as I go to sleep tonight. Thank you for this post.

  3. I’m ditto- ing Bevs response! Couldn’t sleep much last night.. all the long unanswered prayers at the front of my head.. jumping from prayers to do lists! Maybe the time change last night… I love the Lord and truly trust Him, experienced life altering miracles…. and yes today’s blog feels like I wrote it myself! I know I’m in the middle because I’m alive and praising His name \0/.. . Blessed Sunday sisters! Kaitlyn… my ameryllis is a gift from 15 years ago! One bulb is now 16..( I just transplanted them last week into 5 pots! Only twice in all these years I’ve transplanted)They are in the dark of the garage every winter.. in the warm sunshine this June outside of my front yard all will see large peach colored enormous flowers God gets all the glory

  4. I find myself wishing there was a Lamaze for life–a timing of the contractions so I’d know how far into the pain I am and a special breathing to take my mind off the drama of it all.
    Well, I suppose the second is fulfilled with prayer and relationship with God, but that first thing—as you have said so well here, when we’re in the middle, we don’t know that resurrection is coming, or even if it will come. This is where we turn our faces toward Jesus as Martha did and choke out the words of trust. “Even now, whatever you say, LORD . . .”

    • Michele,

      I love “Lamaze” for Life- a timing of the contractions so I’d know how far into the pain I am and a special breathing to take my mind off the drama of it all. That is so good!! God never promises to tell us when, why or how things will turn out just trust Him.

      Blessings 🙂

  5. Kaitlyn:
    Thank you so much. This story really touched my heart this morning when I read it. My husband and I had gone through a lot in the past year. I’ve had sadness and disappointment and being deceived by someone in my own family. It’s been hard to learn to forgive and forget. Trying to move forward is the hardest especially when praying for something and continuing to have unanswered prayers. I remind myself that God is silent during the test. This was a beautiful reminder that God is always good and brings beauty from the ashes. It’s funny because I just had a conversation with my husband last night about our situation saying that God often brings beauty from the ashes of our lives. Believing today that God is working behind the scenes in our lives and working everything out for our good for those who believe!! Thank you and God bless you.

    • Ugh… that is so hard. I’m sorry to hear about that. When I read the words “forgive and forget” I immediately thought of a recent post here from Anjuli on that very thing. If you haven’t read it, I’d encourage you to search those words or look through her recent posts here (it’s the newest one). Blessings to you!

  6. Thank Kaitlyn and everyone here for your comments! I too am in the middle of a miracle and never thought of it that way! It encourages me to continue and not quit when I feel the pain & hurt beating me down. I have been praying for restoration between my ex-husband and I for almost 12 years. It can be so painful to watch as he continues on a path I know God would not want for him or our kids and I. Praying in anguish for this long gets me weary, questioning why God continue to allows this has me wondering where God is. This post was exactly what I needed for today! Thank you!

    • Hi Dawn! Have you read Lysa’s newest book – “It’s Not Supposed to be This Way” ? I read it recently and was glad to see her talk about restoration together and separately. It might be helpful and an encouragement to you? <3

  7. I’m in a waiting season in a particular area of my life now and needed the reminder that I’m in the middle of what God is doing. He seems quiet to me right now but my knowledge of His Word reminds me I’ve not been forsaken and He is working it out. I studied the story of Lazarus myself recently and was reminded that even though we trust and can know that something good is coming, we will still cry or wring our hands. Even though Jesus knew He was raising His friend from the dead, He still wept. I loved seeing this story from someone else’s perspective, thank you!

  8. Thank-you Kaitlyn for putting together your encouraging post. I admit that I’m brokenhearted, but I trust wholeheartedly that whatever God has in store for me will be a surprise, Hope is in the unseen. In the meantime He is strengthening me:
    Psalm 138:8: On the day I called you answered me you increased strength within me.
    I hope that you all have a blessed day,
    Penny

  9. Kaitlyn,
    Thank you for this reminder. My heart is heavy and being reminded that this is the middle of a miracle and not the end of the story renews my hope and determination to not give up.

  10. You wrote this for me and I so appreciate it. This will be my go to everyday now in this dark place I’m visiting. I will continue to praise Him throughout.. thank you, I hope you realize your words were inspired from above.

    • Oh Kim, I wrote it for me too. But I’m truly encouraged by your comment. Thank you for taking the time to say such kind things. I have a tattoo on my foot that is Hebrew for “out of darkness, light.” I go into the story in my book, but the short version is that I want a reminder that He keeps on leading me into the light. He is the Light, and He’ll show me the way. The darkness WILL. NOT. last forever. Amen, hallelujah! And did you know Hebrew reads from left to right? So the word “light” literally leads the way. 🙂 Praying for lighter days ahead for you.

  11. I sometimes wonder when I will “arrive”. When I’m 50? 60? 70? But I need to press pause on that thought because God doesn’t work like that. We will arrive when we see Him face to face. In the meantime, we wait in the middle or hang out on the other side, or face a new beginning. It is all good because God is always with us. Thank you for your insight and wisdom.

  12. Kaitlyn, thankyou for this encouragement I have been stuck in a middle season for YEARS and it dosen’t seem like it will never end!! Very upsetting and frustrating place even if God is the center. Thanks for being relatable. After Years of being stuck in the middle for YEARS you tend to feel like this is where your story will end forever.
    Thanks, for the encouragement from the Lord and GOD inspired word that this is not the truth.

  13. Kaitlyn, I have been praying for a resurrection from the Lord from the season of the “middle” for YEARS and still are now however it still has not happend yet for me and my elderly father as you can imagine it can be very upsetting distressing and upsetting. Thankyou for the “word in due season” from the LORD that ALL of our stories are not over despite what we see and feel. Thanks for your prayers!

  14. Kaitlyn, been stuck in the “middle season” for YEARS now and it does at times truthfully feel like a end to my story. This is a “word in due” season from the Lord. Yes! still daily praying for a resurrection for me and my elderly father.

  15. Kaitlyn,

    Life here in the messy middle between two gardens is hard. God doesn’t reveal His plans to us. He expects us to trust Him with the situation. God threw a curve ball my way years ago when aging dad went psych. I had to put him in hospital for 1 month. Scary not knowing if he would be healed or how it would end. I had to have faith & trust in Jesus. “Because of Jesus, what looks like the end might actually be the middle.” – Dad got well enough to be able to go outside & take short bus rides with others from alzheimer’s unit at assisted living. Fast forward little over a year & back we go again. This time God took him home. But God did something to me during that time. I grew more spiritually, & emotionally. In my middle time I was able to handle more than I thought. Now God has seen fit to give me a good part-time job at local hospital in ICU Step down as secretary. Only God could orchestrate such an ending.

    Blessings 🙂

    • Oh my goodness, how hard… thank you for sharing in this space, Beth! Your words of hope are an encouragement that God gives us the strength, His strength, to make it through.

  16. ….even though I read incourage practically every day this is the first time I have ever posted – I guess because “the middle” as you described it is exactly where I find myself. Thank you for sharing and reminding me that I am not alone and that God is able.

    • Well Arlene let me just say, I am SO GLAD that you are commenting! Let me say an official welcome. 🙂 You are not alone, He is able, and I’m glad you’re here.

  17. My heart needed this. Thank you so much. Psalm 71 was also part of our sermon today in church on Faith/Doubt. Your message tied it altogether. Grateful–it is not wasted on me.

  18. AMEN, Kaitlyn! So much hope in your words, and you brought to mind so many of my own silence longings and prayerful waitings. Who else can deliver such life out of the middles we would never choose to inhabit. I’m learning too!

  19. Such a great reminder and you are so well spoken. I am praying for my prodigal daughter, Caroline, who is choosing a life of walking away from Jesus. I know He is the great redeemer and that He can and will take ALL of this heartache and use it for His good. Thank you for your prayers for sweet Caroline.

  20. I just keep doing the last thing God told me to do. I figure when He wants me to do something else or something new, He will direct me! Such peace. And, speaking of resurrecting plants, I am hoping my Hibiscus bush on our balcony blooms once again! xo

  21. Thanks so much for these encouraging words!

    I can totally relate and like most others, I am still in the middle of the miracle. Even if that miracle is the resurrection that happens in me. I sometimes consider the disciples on that Saturday between Good Friday and Easter Sunday. And yes we know Jesus did say to them he would rise on the third day. But after everything that just happened on that “good” Friday, how much of his words could the disciples now hold on to. What were they feeling and thinking in the in-between period? The “Saturday” all of us experience. The uncertainty of when the resurrection will take place. Perhaps all of our lives play out this three-day story – the death (of our old serves), the waiting, and the resurrection. Only God knows the perfect time for this resurrection. His timing is perfect. His will is also perfect.

    The question I have asked my pastor is this, “How do you know the difference between a wait and a no as an answer to prayer?” Until Jesus returns we have to hold to and trust God all the way through.

    Blessings,
    Heather

    • Yes!!! That’s one of my favorite days of the year. Ha! 🙂 Completely unintentionally, I started writing my book on that day. I thought I was writing a blog post about light in the darkness and how we live in Silent Saturday… and only months later did I realize it was for a book, not a blog post. Glad to know I’m not the only one who likes that day. 🙂

  22. Kaitlyn, such a needed message. I know we get so consumed with how our story should end and when it doesn’t go accordingly to what we think it should go, we are so quick to place blame on others, even God. I am most guilty of this. I attempt to live my life doing the right thing and when I feel that I had done all I can and still not where I thought I should have been, I turn towards God and ask him Why. This is normal for us humans, sinners to do. We act as if our own planning is better than His. I pray we will continue to place our faith in God and know that His plans for our life may not be like what we planned but His plans are always better even when it takes us on a detour we rather not take. He is changing our hearts to understand and get pass through the struggle we are having. He knows what our desires are and I know God will never forsake us. I am so thankful for His unconditional love towards me, especially when I am most unlovable.

  23. I don’t know about you but I used to think there had to be a formula about this whole ‘walk with Jesus thing.’ If I do this then that will happen and if I do nothing, nothing will happen. Well was I ever wrong about everything!! God will not be put into a box or held to my time table or expectations. He says “Be still and know that I am God.” So after many of years and tears, I have learned to TRUST Him in every thing and in all things give thanks. Yes, even in the dark and scary things. I have learned that being without all that I once thought so important, with Christ, is far better than having all this world can offer, without Him. So whether our prayers are answered as we would like, or not, it’s all good. Why? Because “all things work together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His word.” We are not called to enjoy this world – but are called to be His witness and testimony so that others will also come to know Him. Sisters let us just praise Him and let Him use us as He sees fit. After all we have already lived the alternative and frankly it sucks. Please forgive the coarse language but there are times when no other words express as well. Go in peace and joy with the knowledge that He calls us His Beloved.

  24. Kaitlyn, I really think Jesus was like, “You are writing this for that girl who is holding on to her last strand of hope, praying for a miracle.” (P.S. that would be me 😉 )

    Really though, I reread these words and just want to thank you for speaking life into my heart. God gave me the word MIRACLE for 2019, but I’ve felt like the beginning months have been full of unexpected pain, confusion and changed plans. But I love what you wrote here… He gets to decide where to put the period or commas or “the end”! And maybe my story right now is the middle and dawn is on the horizon.

    Thanks, Sister! This was just so good.

    Becky

    • Written for you… and also for me. Have you heard this quote before? From Beth Moore: “Jesus still works miracles. Normally you’ve got to need a miracle to see one. Sometimes you will get the miracle you hoped, longed & prayed for. Sometimes you won’t & the miracle will be that you made it through something you would’ve sworn would kill you. You ARE the miracle.”

  25. I just said to my therapist that I don’t expect healing in this life. My brain is sick and treatment-resistant. Proven again last Friday with another failed but last attempt at a help. I walked out of my psychiatrist’s office empty-handed. But no one at home to be a ‘hospice’ giver to us. My therapist said that he still prays for healing. Good to just read this tonight.