About the Author

Melissa Zaldivar is a social in the world of academics and an academic in the world of socials. She's an author and podcast host with a BA in Communications and an MA in Theology. She loves a good sandwich, obscure history, and wandering around New England antique shops.

(in)side DaySpring: things we love
& you will too!
Find more at DaySpring.com
(in)side DaySpring:
things we love
& you will too!
Find more at
DaySpring.com
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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Love the spinning wheels analogy. Thank you for sharing! Thank you for all these important and helpful reminders.

    Really sorry for your loss, Melissa. Big hugs to you!

    • Thank you for sharing a very enlightening & inspiring article. Looking forward to reading this book. I co-lead a widow’s group at our church & this book sounds like a good resource for our lovely ladies. God’s blessings in your work.

  2. I would love to have a copy of this book. My mom passed away suddenly June 2021. I have been stuck in a fog ever since. Trying to figure out how to redefine & redirect my life.

    • So sorry for your loss, Sonya. I lost my mother in March of last year. I resonate with your words and will be praying for you.

    • oh Sonay – I am so very sorry… I KNOW how the fog can be overwhelming and how you can get stuck (I have been there) praying for God to carry you in this place and that you feel His overwhelming love and hold you close, especially in your grief journey!

  3. Thank you for sharing your hard story. This had been an encouragement to me. Sounds like this is just the book for me.

  4. Beautiful…. so much grief and sorrow in this world. So many struggling in the ‘hard’… God calls us to carry each others burdens. It so helps to ease the ‘load’ and point other to The One who can and does make all things new! thank you for this!

  5. Growing up in New England is beautiful and difficult because of the independent mindset. I had a friend in the form of Jesus with skin on who showed up at my door after my dad suddenly passed away while he was out dancing. She just sat down in the living room and mourned with me. She barely said a word. She made me tea. She never met my dad but she felt my anguish. What a beautiful lesson learned. Thank you for sharing your pain and your vulnerability!

  6. To have another come alongside when we are grieving is such a gift. So often in the midst of our fog and wheel spinning we don’t even know what we need. To be seen, to be helped, to be loved as another helps us and is right there with us. You are spot on with your words. Thank you for giving understanding and encouragement with them

  7. Thank you for sharing a very enlightening & inspiring article. Looking forward to reading this book. I co-lead a widow’s group at our church & this book sounds like a good resource for our lovely ladies. God’s blessings in your work.

    • I agree, Gail. I recently met another widow during Bible study, and she asked if it gets better. Thankfully, I could tell her that it does, and I’ve been praying about how to help her.

  8. As the recipient of such kindness after my husband’s suicide, I understand this so well. And it encourages me to do the same caring for others. I look forward to reading this book. And I thank you for sharing your experience.

  9. Thank you for sharing this story. I lost my fiancé in 2020. I am still trying to adjust to my new journey. It would be wonderful to read this book!

  10. What a beautiful story of love & friendship! Recently losing my sister, uncle & aunt within months of each other can really put you in a tail spin. Becky’s wonderful story to keep going on with your faith truly reached me. I can’t wait to read her inspiring book! Thank you for your encouraging story.

  11. What a beautiful story of love & friendship! Recently losing my sister, uncle & aunt within months of each other can really put you in a tail spin. Melissa’s wonderful story to keep going on with your faith truly reached me. I can’t wait to read her inspiring book! Thank you for your encouraging story.

  12. Thank you for sharing your story, Melissa. I lost a friend who passed away earlier in 2022, a couple of extended family members and a co-worker in 2020. This book would be supplemental for my spiritual walk with the Lord.

  13. Paraclete comes to mind and how appropriate since the Holy Spirit within us leads us to hold up one another’s arms when needed. Thank you for sharing

  14. This was so good! Just do something,put on your boots & go. Would love to read her book as I love Litte Women and have read alot about Louisa May Alcott.

  15. Wonderful words of encouragement and just the boost I needed to show up when others are hurting. Thank you so much!!

  16. Melissa, your words went directly to my heart. I lost my sweet,”differently-abled” sister just before Christmas last year, a few days before the anniversary of my father’s passing. Christmas time, in fact all of December, is packed with the difficult emotions of love and loss for me. I was guardian for my sister after my mother died; a blessing and a challenge. God blessed me with a loving church family, friends who mourned with me, others who were there supporting and encouraging me. Your message this morning expressed what I could not say but exactly how I felt. God was there with me (and still is) showing His love through people He brought into my life. Thank you for sharing your experience with us; it helps those of us going through a period when we cannot utter our feelings and needs. I cannot wait to read your book! Thank you.

  17. I once read when someone is grieving, don’t ask what you can do for them because they probably won’t tell you. Just show up! Show up with a meal, flowers, baked desserts, a card, a smile, a plane ticket, or ice cream. I always pray through these acts, may the receiver see and feel the tangible love of God. We needs friends to hold us up so we can make it through.

  18. Melissa, your words are like a balm to my soul! I have experienced exactly what you’re talking about. Sometimes I have been helped and other times I’ve found ways to help others. Yours is a lovely, true, and real example of Christ’s love being revealed through a friend!

  19. Grief is hard. Thank you Melissa for sharing how much and often God does not leave us alone!
    “The Lord doesn’t leave us to do these things alone and gives us the gift of one another”

  20. Once again, I mention the friendship that I seem to have lost and am grieving. I don’t know that I will ever get it back and that pains me so much. But I’m also moving so I hate to say that I don’t have much time to worry about it right now because I have 10 days to pack everything. I started last week so I have been able to get a lot done. So much is going on and there is not much time to process anything until the immediate need of packing and moving is finished. Then I can crash quite literally.

  21. I just got back from my aunt’s interment, to read here about Melissa’s grief. Her book sounds like something everyone can relate to.

  22. What a beautiful moving story, I very much relate to her story, We just came back from a trip to CA, where we used to live.
    After 14 months were were able to have a service for our only son. We also had lost 3 others last year,
    Being with our friends and family made all the difference in the world and the love we received.
    The body of Christ from 10-40 years graced us with their presence
    Others came along, who never knew our son , but we had ministered to in four ministries,

  23. I lost my husband to cancer 1 month ago. I feel lost, feet stuck in the mud, with my heart in a million pieces. Melissa’s words spoke to me. I’d love to win a copy of her book and share her words with my children.

  24. Your words “When you’re beyond exhausted, everything is an effort” resonate with me. I lost my mother in March and my dad in August. We were close, and everyday is a struggle now.

  25. Melissa,

    So sorry for your loss sweet sister. Prayers that God will send His peace & comfort to you.

    Loved this: “Put on your boots, show up & care.” Back in 2015 a friend was dealing with aging parents’ health issues. One day I called her & she had her dad & step dad in the hospital. I went to KFC & got a meal for her & her husband. Hubby & I took it to her just as she was getting home. One year my pastor’s wife’s mom was moving down here into their home. Before they left to get her I took a chicken pot pie & some home made bread to them to enjoy when they got back. I guess my motto is like yours “Put on your boots, show up & care.” Be like Jesus.

    Blessings 🙂

  26. My sisters and I run the gamut of emotions while dealing with our aging mother. One or two days up, two or three days down…. the cycle continues. We could all benefit from your book.
    My sympathy in the loss of your dear friend.

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