Dad asked if he could drive over to have dinner with us before Christmas.
It was early December 2022. My breath caught when my adult kids relayed his request. Their dad mostly disappeared after our divorce in November 2019. Earlier that year, I’d become an empty-nester as well. Then, the pandemic occurred a few months later. So much had changed. By 2022, I was finally feeling like I’d settled into my next normal. Now this.
The morning of their visit, my kids decided to meet with their dad at my middle child’s apartment. I saw how nervous my kids were, so I volunteered to make dinner. I settled on Spaghetti Bolognese, a comforting, familiar, once-upon-a-time family favorite. I knew they would enjoy it, but my offer was also selfish. I needed to keep myself busy and out of their business.
I started with searing the beef. Turns out the stove wasn’t the only hot thing in my kitchen. I felt a hot anger rise in me as I cooked. Our hard family history replayed as I patted the meat dry and fried the bacon. Post-divorce, I’d spent several years helping my kids pick up the broken pieces. My kids and in-law kids were all home for the holidays. I was finally looking forward to Christmas.
God. Come on! You mean he’s just going to swoop in like nothing happened?
I stirred the seasonings into a big pot — the one I used to make this meal in my old house. In our “before” life. Standing at the stove, my mind mentally stirred the pot of memories. Faith and fury warred within me. In one moment, I remembered the years of working hard in therapy, Al-Anon, and Divorce Care. In the next moment, I remembered all the broken promises and broken hearts.
I could feel my healed wounds throb, still tender.
Not wishing to return to the days before healing, I turned down the heat on the stove and stepped out of the kitchen. The kids were away Christmas shopping, and the sauce needed hours to simmer. In that unoccupied time, I sensed God’s invitation to guide me to a fresh forgiveness, albeit at an unexpected time and in an unexpected way.
Forgiveness is woven into the fabric of the Christmas story, even if it isn’t center stage. While we prefer mangers to crosses, Christmas always leads to Easter. Just before Jesus died for our sins, He showed us how to forgive, even when others weren’t sorry. Jesus showed us how to practice forgiveness at an unexpected time and in an unexpected way.
Previously beaten and weak, now with nails pounded into His hands and feet, Jesus saw His betrayers all around Him. He didn’t deserve such treatment, and He was innocent of the stated crimes. Yet Jesus cried out:
“Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.”
Luke 23:34 NLT
His request was simple: Forgive them.
As He was hurting.
Even though he didn’t deserve it.
Isn’t this when forgiveness is hard for us?
When we’re still hurting.
When we haven’t received the apology.
When the consequences of their actions shattered our lives.
Yet, Jesus forgave at an unexpected time and in an unexpected way so that we could do the same.
Even at Christmas? Yes.
“…forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”
Ephesians 4:23 NLT
“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”
Colossians 3:13 NLT
Sensing God’s invitation to forgive, I stood in my kitchen and prayed. My tears streamed onto the floor. God, I hate that this is our family story. Thank You for Your gracious love and kindness that has carried us the past few years. Thank You for the forgiveness that Jesus has given me. I need to forgive him again for the pain we went through and the consequences we are living with. Thank You for the freedom and healing that comes through forgiveness. Amen.
That prayer was hard, but it blessed me. It was a step of obedience so God could replace hurt with healing. This prayer may be helpful to you.
A few hours later, I wrapped the hearty sauce, noodles, salad, and dessert for the kids to take to dinner. While I wept after closing the door behind them, I wiped away grateful tears, not sad ones. Thankful for a God who provides freedom from bitterness and hurt through forgiving others.
Perhaps God may nudge your heart this Christmas season to offer forgiveness at an unexpected time and in an unexpected way. Let go so that God can fill that hurting space in your heart with His love and peace.
Reader Interactions
No Comments
We'd love to hear your thoughts. Be the first to leave a comment.