Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
II Corinthians 1:3-4 ESV
I was behind on everything. I’d tell myself to just do the next thing or to stop being so lazy.
I finally began seeing a therapist because I had such a hard time functioning. I couldn’t be creative or concentrate, and I didn’t want to hang out with anyone else besides my husband and my dog.
My therapist asked some initial questions, and I responded with, “Yeah, this thing happened, but it’s not a big deal.” Or “Yeah, it was hard for me, but other people have had it so much worse . . . ”
She finally stopped me and asked, “Have you heard of compound trauma?”
I hadn’t. She went on to explain. “Yes, any one of those things on their own may not have sunk you. But what it sounds like is that life has been unrelenting, and each of these traumas—and that’s what they are, traumas—has left you without the ability to recover.”
And as soon as I heard this, I, a dedicated non-crier, broke down in a flood of tears.
Yes, horrible things have happened to others, and I will mourn with them. But the magnitude of someone else’s suffering does not lessen my suffering. And until I allow myself to grieve, I cannot recover.
So many of us have been through surprisingly hard things. It doesn’t matter if other people are tougher than you. It doesn’t matter if your friend or your neighbor could handle circumstances better than you could. God has made it clear that to be there for others, we must allow God to comfort us. God comforts us through others who are going through similar circumstances—through other people’s creative acts of kindness. Through the Word, prayers, and the love of the people God has surrounded us with, we feel His comfort.
He calls Himself the God of all comfort, and He proves that over and over again.
Where are you finding God’s strength today?
Thank you for sharing your story. This sounds like me… I have a hard time admitting that I’m hurt. I’ve been through some difficult things. Your article helped me. I love your daily devotionals!! Keep it up!
This is so personal for me. I appreciate your insight and the term compound trauma makes so much sense.
This stands out: “God has made it clear that to be there for others, we must allow God to comfort us.”
Prayer: Help me to welcome comfort, Jesus.
Where am I finding God’s strength today? I am recovering from a fairly minor surgery that has really knocked me out of my normal. New pains crop up almost every day and I don’t want to keep slowing down. But God is showing me what’s important and what I can let go. It helps!
Dear Kathi…I am late commenting today as I had to go out. You have picked out exactly what I have been going through the past now 7 years, Compound Trauma. That is me. Thank you for your story and since I am going through that book for the 2nd time, I feel I have read your very true words before. It is amazing as I am on day 80 and I have seen a real difference in what I wrote in the journal part the 1st time which was one year eight months ago. This book has really helped my “Spiritual Growth” which I feel my Holy Spirit nudged me to go through it this second time. Thanks so much and may you have a Blessed New Year. Our world is so confused and upside down right now. I pray for all of the millions of people who have suffered due to a government that can’t even compromise on anything. It was not this way in the 50’s and 60’s. Love to you…………Betsy Basile
If one has gone through a lot of devastating events like broken relationships, a warehouse fire and losing material goods with a lost luggage episode following that, it is haunting. Looking back, I wish I had seeked counseling as those several rough events occurred in six months time. It can disrupt a normal relationship if one feels resentment or frustration. It can be like a turtle in his shell sorta hiding from any more “hits” and not wanting to venture out to create real communication with your best friend or mate. I realize God is a
healing God and looking back, I would’ve chosen spiritual help
Or counseling which would’ve eased the relationship with my husband but was in a foreign country and it didn’t cross my mind. The desire to just deal with it, can and does cause repression of feelings which need to come
out. Compound trauma is very real I believe. If one is aware you have had several big “hits”, needs to be dealt with. Thank you Kathy Lipp as I have reread this article in One Hundred Days of Strength in Any Struggle, worth getting and rereading.
Thank you Kathi! I always learn from your posts!
Thank you for your message. I am there where you were. I think I am conquering the hurt and anger with God’s help but then I pick it all up put back in bags and start over again and again.
God please forgive. I confess Its hard to break free. But this Jesus we will make it.
I have no clue where I’m finding strength or comfort these days! My husband’s health seems to be declining, episodes of blacking out w/o any warning and it seems to be wearing on him emotionally and physically but not spiritually!!
If I had to guess where my strength comes from, it would be my love for him. I don’t want him to be concerned about me or any of my discomfort to initiate any feelings of anxiety that may add to his already overloaded plate. I endeavor to anticipate his very needs so he doesn’t have to be more overwhelmed. Praying in my closet and continually asking for guidance from the Holy Spirit does provide moments of comfort.
Thanks for this opportunity to share after reading your great rendering