Saying goodbye to summer is never hard for me. After all, the advent of fall weather means I can put away my capri pants, flip flops and [let's be honest] my razor. And it means I can pull out my comfiest sweaters and favorite jeans. That, of course, can be good and bad.
The bad part of jeans weather reared its ugly head last week. No pun intended.
Though I had “buy new jeans” on my to-do list (along with “balance checkbook,” “trim nails” and “organize scrapbooking stuff”), I hadn’t gotten around to it. Instead, I was making do with two pairs of jeans (neither of which fit well), my weekly wardrobe was depending on a precarious schedule of washing, drying and repeated wearing.
I woke up on a Tuesday morning, grabbed the jeans draped over the foot of my bed and pulled them on. I’d worn them the day before as I ran errands, attended a meeting and laughed with friends over a Chinese dinner. So imagine my surprise when I smoothed my shirt down around my hips and discovered A HUGE HOLE IN THE BACK OF MY JEANS!
I wore those jeans. In public. All day long. And nobody said a word.
After chucking the ruined jeans in the trash and pulling my other pair out of the dryer, I posted about this mortifying discovery on Facebook. I said, “To preserve my dignity and my sanity, I’m assuming that this tear just occurred yesterday and NOBODY NOTICED. Whatever you do, please do not correct these assumptions!”
This, of course, led to a humorous discussion and many kind reassurances from friends who actually have no idea if I’ve been walking around with holey jeans for weeks (and one promise from a friend who did see me the day before but didn’t notice the giant rip between my pockets).
Later, I thought about how desperately I wanted to believe that nobody noticed that tear. And I thought about how I sometimes react the same way to mistakes I make or struggles I can’t seem to beat.
Surely they didn’t notice what I said . . .
Nobody noticed that I messed up again, right?
I’m just going to pretend like that didn’t happen!
Been there? Done that? I have. Many times. It’s as if, when I come face to face with a sin or struggle, I revert to childhood, stick my fingers in my ears and sing, “Lalala! I can’t hear you!” If I act like I don’t know about the problem, after all, maybe everyone else will play along.
But while I want my friends to reassure me that nobody noticed the rip in my jeans (or salad dressing on my shirt or huge zit on my chin), I don’t really want them to play along when I try to hide and ignore mistakes or struggles.
It’s why I’m thankful for friends who say things like, “Do you think you need to talk to someone about that?” or “Maybe you should try journaling about that . . .” or “I’m not sure that she meant it the way you heard it.”
As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.
~ Proverbs 27:17
Do you have friends like that? Are you a friend like that?
By: Mary, Giving Up on Perfect
ABOUT MARY CARVER
Mary is a recovering perfectionist who writes about giving up on perfect and getting on with life. She's also mom to a sweet (and sassy) preschooler and wife to her high-school sweetheart. When...