Sometimes, the more your dream is woven into your deep places, the more you see it out in the world.
When I ached to be a mama but couldn’t get pregnant, I saw pregnant women everywhere. No matter where my feet traveled – grocery stores, movies, church – there they were, members of an exclusive club where everyone knew the password but me.
Of course, this wasn’t true at all. But tender things longed for and not held distorted my vision.
As my thirtysomething self looks around the dining room table at three shrinky dink versions of my husband and me, I see plain evidence that God says yes to desires, even if differently than I planned.
But what about those times when the evidence hides and you’re convinced your desires are the exception? You are the exception?
We have in this community a cornucopia of writer-artists, women drenched in more talent than a sunrise in colors. Honest to goodness, it’s easy – enjoyable! – for me to stand on Pike’s Peak and cheer these women for their God given talents and accomplishments. However, it’s harder for me to accept my own limitations don’t make my work invaluable and invisible. And just like those days of waiting for the second pink line to show up on a pregnancy test, I find myself surrounded by a whole lotta book deals birthed. If I’m not careful, I start to believe my lack of one means I’m not invited to the club, a writing second class citizen.
What a lie.
“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” ~Psalm 37:4
Most desires have deep roots, and God is interested in answering the root desires because He knows that will best fulfill our soul-longing. When I think about this in context of what I want most out of life, I see more than anything I want relationships.
Genuine, real relationships. First with Jesus, then with family and friends.
Since I was seven and writing poems and endless short stories under the live oaks, I’ve felt a pull towards words. I don’t know if mine will ever land in book form, but I can count relationship after relationship that blossomed from beautiful, glorious words.
And it’s then I see how God has given me my heart’s desire. But I’m not gonna lie: it’s super hard not to get side-tracked.
“The challenge in those moments is to not close our hearts–to believe that if God says “not this” to something we hold dear to us that He’s still saying “yes” to the desire deep within us.”
Life in the church body isn’t a race where each person stays in her own lane, trying to reach the finish line first. Rather, it’s a community where everyone sits in a circle – no one further ahead or behind – and brings their gifts and experiences to the table.
You already possess fullness in Christ, and with that is confidence and security that you are enough today. So when we feel the cool temptation to see only what we do not have, may we remember to fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. He can’t help but intently pay close attention – soul attention – to our desires. He is infinitely creative and able to meet them in ways that blow our everlovin’ minds.
All we have to do is pay attention. Because when we do, we see it’s not about being out of a club but in a family whose Father welcomes you with wide open arms, always and forever.
Kristen Strong, sitting with you at Chasing Blue Skies.
ABOUT KRISTEN STRONG
Kristen is an Air Force wife, enthusiastic mama and fresh air giver. She is a joy hunter-downer who writes of looking upward at Chasing Blue Skies. Originally an Oklahoma girl, she has since traveled...