A Woman Just Knows


I have two kids, and like most children, they say some pretty cute things. Sometimes, their phrases are unintentionally comedic. Like the time when my son was three and handed my husband a naked Barbie doll and innocently said, “Daddy, here’s a naked girl for you!”

And there are also times when their choice of words leave me pondering deeper truths. Like when my daughter exclaimed that there was no need for her to try squash because … “A woman just knows what she wants and what isn’t for her.”

At first, I laughed off her comment, but then I realized that she wasn’t 100 percent wrong in her assertion.  Nor was her assertion 100 percent right.

Sometimes I just know something is wrong for me. For instance, I’ve never set my hair on fire, but I know it’s not something I want to try.  When I was younger, I wanted to get my belly button pierced, but since I have this thing against unnecessary pain, I knew that a naval piercing wasn’t for me.

I also know that many people consider chocolate-drenched grasshoppers a delicacy.  I’ll pass.  If I want some crunch to my chocolate, a small pack of Pretzel M&M’s will do just fine.

Sometimes the situation is less obvious, like when I have the opportunity to use sarcasm as a tool to subtly attack someone. Or when I am tempted to tell a “little white lie” to get myself out of a jam or a potential embarrassing situation.  In those situations it isn’t so much a gut feeling as it is a lesson already learned . . . but still I can recognize the early warning signs.

Sometimes a woman just knows when something is wrong. And then there are times when a woman knows what she wants, but doesn’t quite understand what she needs.

My daughter’s body needs the vitamins and minerals that accompany each bite of a fresh vegetable. So one could argue that she needed the squash. But she didn’t want it.  She didn’t want to look at it. She didn’t want to smell it. She didn’t want to get it near her mouth. And she sure as sugar is sweet did not want to eat it. She’s a girl who knows what she wants…and by default, what she doesn’t want.

However, had she given the squash a chance, she may have found out that she truly liked it. Eating squash may have become a want of hers.

As I think about this simple example of typical kid-ness, some self observations jump to mind. As a strong-willed woman, I often know what I want. At least, I think I do. But when I take the time to examine my wants closely, I discover that they don’t always line up with my needs.

In fact, some of my wants conflict with each other.

I want a healthy body. I want to eat whatever I want to eat whenever I want to eat it. Conflict.

I want my marriage to thrive. I want my own way. Conflict.

I want a clean and organized home. I want someone else to be responsible for the cleaning and organizing. Conflict.

I’m learning, at a rate that is both slow and sure, that in order for me to choose the right want, I must first understand what it is that I truly need.

When everything else is stripped away, one need remains at the core . . . one need fulfills all others.

More Jesus.

I am a woman who needs more of Jesus and less of herself. I need to be close to Him . . . know His character . . . His word.

I need to be more like Jesus . . . more patient, loving, discerning, bold.

And when I embrace that need it grows into a soul-deep want . . . into a must-have.

What do you want most in this world, and does your want conflict with a need or is it inspired by one?

The LORD is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion. The LORD protects the simplehearted; when I was in great need, he saved me. Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you.” Psalm 116:5-7 (NIV)

{Photo by dyogi}
  • Sarah

    So hire a cleaner.

  • http://walkingwellwithgod.blogspot.com Bev Duncan @ Walking Well With God

    I desperately want more of Jesus and less of me. Sometimes I think I am so vital to a situation when actually God would simply have me get out of the way so that He could do His work. Great post!

  • http://plantedoak.com kris scorza-sobieski

    struck by the highlighted ‘conflict’. such an obvious truth when you actually write it down. think i’m going to write down some of my wants that are conflicted today. surely we take steps towards freedom when we see clearly what is keeping us stuck. thank you angela for sharing! xo –kris

    • http://www.angelanazworth.com Angela Nazworth

      That is a great idea, Kris. I know that if I do not regularly keep my wants and needs in check, life gets so out of whack.

  • http://nomaybebaby.blogspot.com Marcy

    We had the same dinner fight last night. My favourite though was last week when she didn’t want to eat her spinach and said she didn’t like it because”God made her that way.” :)

    • http://www.angelanazworth.com Angela Nazworth

      So cute!!

  • http://www.momentsandinvitations.com/ Dana Butler

    Hmmmmm. Yup. I was thinking this morning – I want to derive my identity/value from what Jesus says about me. Yet I still want to pursue the praise of man. Doh. Mutually exclusive.

    A little motive purification going on around here…. Sigh…. It’s never ending. :) Thanks for sharing this Angela!

  • http://www.agirlonthedoorstep.com Jennifer

    To be more like Jesus. Yes! I think this is the answer we crave for every missing piece in our lives. I love that you included the word bold in your description of the character of Jesus.
    This post is lovely, and the phrased your kids choose to use are hilarious! I hope you are writing it all down.
    Beautiful post!

  • karyn

    I need JESUS as well more and more and more and more in HIS WORD especially.
    I love squash btw. It’s delicious. Had it today in a buffet. There wasn’t enough of the squash.
    I’m a person who knows what I need and know what I want. Not that I’ve calculated it in some pondering session. It’s just life for me. I’m strong willed and strong headed. Think cos I was raised to get my own way. I was not stopped.
    So, if the situation does not suit me
    There you go. In a nutshell.
    But the LORD, HE is ever first and foremost in my life and I’d seek HIM and those who love HIM. Why, I just have this desperate and unrelenting need for more and more and more and more of who JESUS is, who my God is, who my Father in heaven is, who the Holy Spirit and what indeed THEY want out of me. It’s like an upward surge. Never ending. Ever moving. Non – achieving but heart rendering and deep within no one but God can see and fathom. Not even me. Ironic, isn’t it.
    I think to myself, where do I go from here next, and then the path opens. The door opens and I just walk on. Heavenly.

  • http://stateoftheheartliving.com Caryn Christensen

    Like you Angela, I’m a strong-willed woman. And sometimes (too often) that means that my way isn’t always God’s way. THIS spoke to me so clearly… “And then there are times when a woman knows what she wants, but doesn’t quite understand what she needs.”
    Yep. What I want and what I need are sometimes 2 different things ~ and at that point, I’m conflicted. I’m learning to trust the Lord that He knows EXACTLY what I need, and has promised to supply my needs.
    I loved this post. It speaks to so many areas of life…not just squash! :D

  • Birdie Cutair

    Less of me, more of Jesus, but it certainly is not happening automatically. I have to deliberately choose to do it His way, especially when I don’t want to.

  • http://www.helianthusblog.com Sarah

    You made me laugh out loud with this: “If I want some crunch to my chocolate, a small pack of Pretzel M&M’s will do just fine.”
    You made me pause with this: “I want a healthy body. I want to eat whatever I want to eat whenever I want to eat it.”
    Yes to this: “I am a woman who needs more of Jesus and less of herself. I need to be close to Him . . . know His character . . . His word.”

  • AJ

    I am beginning to question this theology of less of me. I have subscribed to it all my life but the more I know Him the more I understand that he made me a masterpiece, it’s the world who rejects me as God made me. More of Him=more of being who he truly made me to be. I wonder if we have this right? As I truly pursue him I allow the artist to reveal the true picture of who he made me to be for his kingdom, when I say “less of me” it seems like we are rejecting what the artist himself has designed.
    Just some random stuff that I have been wondering about.

    • http://www.angelanazworth.com Angela Nazworth

      Hi AJ,

      I think you make a really good point.We are wonderfully made and should delight in that truth. However, please know that when I say “less of me” I am not referring to being less of who God made me … or of giving less. I am referring to less of my selfish aspects … really I should have written “Less of the It’s All About Me attitude” :-) From my personal experience, I know that when I have more of Jesus I am better able to be the person I was created to be and be her for His glory. When I fill my life with more “me” (meaning framing every situation I am in to be all about me and putting my wants before what God wants for me), I tend to lose sight of truth and who I am in Christ.

  • Beth Williams

    I truly need more of Jesus–we all do! In this crazy mixed up world of ours where everyone says no to Prayers in school, ball games, no Bible reading, etc. we need more of Him to help us through each day.

    I know exactly what I want–a different job–or so I thought. I have prayed about this for a long while now and God kept saying no stay here. He has seemingly blessed me more than I could have ever thought by my obedience. Plus through this experience I have turned to Him much more than ever before. I have also seen things in a different light!

    Thanks Angela for a great post!

  • http://alifewelldone.wordpress.com Lis

    Wow! You nailed MY conflicts with your three examples.

    Your post also reminded me of a sermon I heard on Psalm 23. In it, the preacher stated that God will change wants the more I seek his kingdom. I’ll come to realize I don’t actually really want my “wants” which are fickle and fleeting anyway.

    Good post!

    • http://www.angelanazworth.com Angela Nazworth

      I love how you said that! Wants certainly are fickle!! Needs are evergreen or at least necessary for particular seasons of life.