How to BE Patient

Faith Grace

I was patient for her arrival. Knowing God was sending her in His best timing, for her and the world she was to serve.

But in the dark of the night of little sleep and baby rocking, my self cries, “Enough already!” and forgets about the beautiful miracle I have the privilege of caressing into dreamland.

{Have you forgotten about the miracle God has given you? You know the one. The One, too.}

She is entrusted to me, like each one of the miracles God has bestowed on my years. He asks me to steward her and all the everyday blessings He pours on us.

He asks me to sacrifice my desires for His. He asks me to live like He does. He wants me to be Holy like He is Holy.

I cry out, “Lord, make me patient.”

{My impatience is an expression of my ungrateful heart. The feeling of inconvenience shows how I want things my own way, in MY timing. And pride is underneath it all.}

I scare myself sometimes at how my temper can flare, how I grit my teeth, how love seems to vanish and patience is trembling with fear at my selfish rage.

We’ve all prayed for it. Asked for more of it. Wish we could start over after we’ve lacked it. Patience.


Love is.

First, love is patient.

I wonder if it’s possible to embody the other attributes of love without patience? To be kind, not self-seeking or boasting, to be humble and not easily angered. . . all of these require patience with myself, others and, most importantly, my God.

With her on my lap, she suckles nourishment from my body. The very blood coursing through my heart is transformed into the food that feeds her growth. I watch with amazement at God’s design as she drinks in more of me.

Life is in the blood. True life is in the Jesus-blood that covers me, my sin and hers already.

I am thankful and fearful at the same moment. I know myself. I know my thoughts. I’m nervous of how I’ll react in the trenches of my new role as mama. I want to love her. I desire to be patient and teach her the same.

I’m amazed by my daughter’s patience with me. She can’t always communicate what she feels or needs. She doesn’t set the schedule for the day. She is teaching me.

I cry out, “Lord, make me patient.”

A still small voice rumbles in my insides.

You’re praying the wrong prayer. Why do you ask me for an outcome, a blessing, rather than the One who gives? I Am. I am the One you need.”

The Spirit reveals His fruits. He calms my heart and gives me peace. The first of His fruits – love – tastes so sweet.

The second fruit He reminds me is patience, the very one I’m worried I won’t have enough of to be a good mama to her.

God in me. The only way.


Baby hugs

God is love. Love is patient. Patience is fruit from Him through me.

I cry out, “Lord, give me more of you.”

Then, and only then, will I be patient.

And with this I draw near to Him and He draws near to me.

He is loving to me and it looks like patience. He is answering my prayer for my daughter to know the Lord. First, through me.

I pray she will love Him, serve Him and be fruitful. That she will experience His patient love by my hands.

I will BE patient, because of Him in me.


Is it just me or do you struggle with patience, too? Where do you need more patience in your life? Do you desire the fruit or the One who grows it in you? Join me in wanting more of Our Lord and watching in amazement as He bears much fruit in our lives when our focus shifts.

  • Bev Duncan @ Walking Well With God

    I love this. How many times have I prayed for patience (an outcome, a blessing) when what I really needed and wanted was more of Him! I have prayed that I would bear fruit, when what I really needed to pray was “Lord, graft me onto the vine.” When I whittle my lack of patience down what I usually find is pride. I lose patience with the world because I am not getting my way. It becomes all about me. When, instead, I call upon His Spirit dwelling within me, I find that I make it more about others and when that happens, my patience grows. Thank you for a wonderful perspective changer as we head into Christmas.

    • Helen

      “When I lose patience, it’s because I’m not getting my was.” Now, that’s a perspecitve changer! Thanks, Bev.

  • amber

    Stephanie, I too pray for fruit. Why do we focus so much on the fruit instead of the Creator and Giver of all fruit. I pray today that my gaze will be set firmly on Him. I pray that we may all have our focus shifted, that we will make more of Him our primary longing.

  • Kathy @ In Quiet Places

    It is amazing what God gives us when we draw near to Him…

  • Kasy

    This is me to a T. I ask God every day for patience as I start our homeschool day. Many days I am and yet many days I am not. Praying for God to be in me and trusting that He will provide as my day requires.

  • Tara

    This is beautifully written. Thank you. I couldn’t have stated it any better. Lord, give us more of You. Amen. God bless you!

  • Mary

    So beautifully written. This speaks to me also. Way beyond being a young mother, but often praying this prayer. Thank you for showing me what I truly need to pray is for God to fill me with His love, and then His fruits will abound.
    My mom said once she prayed for patience and her pastor, a woman said, “Lord give Amelia trials and tribulations that she my grow in patience”. I have been afraid to pray for patience, because there seems to be enough of the other to go around already!
    But truly I believe we all struggle with the fruits and true love no matter our age. Yet in Christ we will be overcomers.

  • Shawnda

    This is wonderfully written. I pray for patience everyday as we wait to be blessed with our child I can carry in my womb. We have been struggling for over 4 years to conceive and this past May we miscarried our first child. We have had a really rough time and the holidays seem so much harder this year. Praying for more of him during this season as we wait for the family our hearts have desired for so long. The precious life I can carry in my womb.

  • Joann Calderone

    So many times I to have prayed for patience. Have a 5 yr. old granddaughter that has some problems. She many times wakens during the night for me to rock her. Sometimes more than once. Not always having the patience I should.

    Thank you for reminding me that what I really need is more of Him and thankfulness for her.

  • karyn

    I’m a very patient person. Honestly. But saying this I will not put up with any temper tantrums with my own kids or any of my kids. Think self control is very important as well. The last of the fruit.

    Yes, love is patient. With patience, much can be achieved slowly but surely. Day by day. Week by week. Month by month. Year by year. Decade by decade.

    Much can be achieved with this fruit.

    May we all learn to have more patience and if we already have it, may we learn to have more.

    By God’s grace and HIS patience in our lives, we can give more to others who deeply need this.


  • Susan

    Stephanie . . . thank you . . . the exact perspective this tired grandma needed to help lift the eyes from the dailiness to the sacred invitation to be His steward of the blessed girls in my home. Beseeching Him for more of HIM is the right prayer!!!

  • Beth Williams


    This post is me perfectly! :) I don’t have a lot of patience, especially if I don’t get enough sleep. My job is stressful, plus I drive a 30 minutes to work and can have a busy week with some church activities–(church is another 10 miles one way). I also am primary family person looking after dad. I pay his bills, make sure he’s ok, visit once a week and call often. At times it all just seems to hit me wham!

    To combat all the negatives I get up early and read my Bible, read a few devotions, pray often and listen to Christian music. Prayerfully this will help me in the coming year.

    God Bless you and may everyone have a blessed Christmas and Advent season!

  • Melanie

    Exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you. God bless you for this wonderful work

  • Melanie

    Exactly what my searching heart needed to hear this evening. I was getting frustrated at how impatient I was becoming with people close to me and I was asking God to make me more patient :-)
    Thank you for this message.

  • Eda

    God always knows what I need before I do. Thank you so much for this post. I have prayed many, many times to have patience, and then BAM, He shows me that it’s not about me but about Him and my relationship with Him. I really needed this!

  • Lisa-Jo Baker (@lisajobaker)

    “I wonder if it’s possible to embody the other attributes of love without patience?” =– such a good word.

  • Staci caver

    Beautiful tears in my eyes as I read this! So very true!

  • Summer

    Beautiful!! He’s already given us everything we need :) This verse came to mind:

    “By His divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know Him, the One who called us to Himself by means of His marvelous glory and excellence. And because of His glory and excellence, He has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share His divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.” 2 Peter 1

    Thanks for sharing your beautiful mommy story!

  • Ashley @ Power, Love, and Self-Discipline

    Thank you for this beautiful piece.

  • Tiffany

    An echo of my own heart! Knowing Him accomplishes many of the things I “want” for my own children. Thank you for sharing. Momma’s often need to know they’re not alone.

  • Amanda

    This post was an answer to prayer. I’ve struggled with patience in oh so many areas. With starting work again, I need patience juggling all the demands of home, work, kids etc etc. I love the answer that I need to seek Him first.

  • Regena

    Oh…my…goodness! If I had the gift of writing to express my feelings…this post could have been me! This touched me to my core…thank you…my prayer today and hereafter..will be..”give me more of your Lord”….

  • Marcy

    Why do you ask me for an outcome, a blessing, rather than the One who gives? I Am. I am the One you need.

    I love this! Thank you .

  • Nancy Ruegg

    These words, Stephanie, grabbed my attention: “My impatience is an expression of my ungrateful heart. The feeling of inconvenience shows how I want things my own way, in MY timing. And pride is underneath it all.” I never thought of all those sins — ungratefulness, selfishness, and pride–being the cause of my impatience. No doubt, by understanding the underlying causes, I’ll be able to fight against impatience more successfully. Thank you, Stephanie. P. S. Your daughter is ADORABLE!