“You are enough.” I hear a whisper, one coffee-less morning all alone in my car, returning from taking my youngest daughter to her first day of Kindergarten. After homeschooling eight years and burying myself in the duties of children, I was nothing short of exhausted.
Still, “Who could that be?” I questioned. It was clear, I knew it wasn’t me. I would never confess that I was enough…this raggedy, old, warn-out mom. I would never think that I alone, apart from children and home, was sufficient…never in my wildest dreams. After all, I was burntout and feeling nothing short of useless.
Still, who could be saying that? I didn’t know.
At the time, my identity waffled a lot. I took on the face of those just in front of me… feeling little, small, and quite frankly pretty meaningless; thinking, there was no way my “nothingness” could ever be sufficient.
Furthermore, I was way out of my comfort zone, hesitant and reluctant, trusting a new school for my children’s education.
Up until now, I didn’t know how to be anything short of a chameleon, blending into other people’s roles or identities. Still, I often questioned, “Why do we forget that we are individuals, people, important to God in and of ourselves… despite our families, service, or duties”?
Don’t we all in our stillest moments sometimes ask, “Who am I?”
Young and tattooed, he sits in our living room, the one our small group had been loving on and trying to direct towards Jesus. We talk of salvation, following Jesus, while all praying for him to get just how much God loves Him.
But then he says, “The problem is…I just don’t think I am good enough.”
The proverbial floor of my soul sinks like an elevator cut loose. I get that. I once understood that feeling, like that day on my way home from my daughters school. I understood the gut-wrenching questions that say no matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, “Why would God love me?” “How could I ever be good enough?”
But then scripture pops up and I recall the murderer on the cross next to Jesus. You know, the one who saw Jesus for whom He is, though He looked worn out, beaten down, and convicted while innocent. And Jesus said to him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise” (Luke 23:43).
So many times we judge our worth by our title, our status, or our works.
Resumes, and skills, and lots of great works will never draw us closer to Jesus. Scripture tells us, “God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). And even before the beginning of time, He knew us by name (Jeremiah 1:5). We are the bride of Christ, with all our imperfections, tattoos, and our sins. Yet, despite it all, God promises us “we are His” (Ephesians 2:10) and “nothing can separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:39).
Our young tattooed friend received Christ that day. And although I still waffle at times about the idea that “we are enough” apart from kids, housework, and other duties… I am learning to trust not my fluctuating emotions, but Scripture that promises us His love is sufficient. Remembering that still, small voice, in the weakest most vulnerable of moments, whispering in encouragement….
“You friend… you are enough.”