Do you have your Christmas tree up yet? Are your halls all decked?
I don’t—and mine are not. I also haven’t flipped over to the radio station playing non-stop Christmas music since it began a couple weeks ago, and I’ve only bought two presents.
Christmas craft tutorials seem to make me twitchy this year, and a conversation about finding a date for my favorite family gathering of the year left me in tears.
It seems I’ve lost my holiday spirit.
I know it’s the most wonderful time of the year. I know! But while I’m not quite up to Grinch status yet, I’m definitely not feeling holly or jolly about the upcoming festivities I normally look forward to each December.
The holidays can be hard. Sometimes our circumstances color how we handle special days and everyday days and all the days in between. But sometimes, for no reason at all, it might just be hard to find your holiday spirit. And when that happens, what do you do? Well, I’m still working through this, searching for a spark of holiday spirit myself. But here are a few things I’ll be trying this week.
Cut the clutter.
Don’t worry. I’m not suggesting you deep clean the house or alphabetize your spices. No need to start that craziness ’til January, am I right? But it’s possible that clearing some space in your life might open up room for Christmas—and, yes, for Christ.
I know for me, a messy dining room table (and, you all, it is almost ALWAYS a mess) makes it much harder for me to be productive. I see the mess and I get overwhelmed and I don’t know where to start with anything and, well, nothing gets done.
The same is true in just about every area of my life. If I have too much still-haven’t-dealt-with-it junk in my heart, I can’t find time to pray. And even if I do, I find that time empty and lacking any real connection with God.
So whether it’s physical clutter (Yes, FINE, it’s time for me to finally organize my garage!), calendar clutter (We RSVP’d to HOW MANY Christmas parties?!), or heart clutter, take a few minutes to cut it out. Clear a space for peace and joy—and to receive the Gift of this season.
Look at the world through a child’s eyes.
Whether you have children of your own or not, you were once a child yourself. So think back: what did you love doing at Christmas when you were a kid? Frosting cookies? (EATING cookies?) Sitting on Santa’s lap? Christmas caroling? Wrapping gifts in the comics section of the newspaper? Watching the cartoon Christmas specials?
Whatever it was, do it. Do it now—or as soon as you can. Don’t overanalyze it or mock it. Just travel back in time for a moment and let your inner child come out.
For me, this is watching the Claymation Christmas Special. The one with the California Raisins. We watch it every year at my parents’ house; it’s our “thing.” But this year, I’m going to borrow my brother’s copy of the strange, silly show and watch it early. It’s hard not to get into the holiday spirit when the jazzy camels made of clay are singing “We Three Kings.”
Reminisce about past holidays.
Remember that Christmas we forgot to turn the oven on? Or we got snowed in? Or we went to that ugly sweater party or played ten rounds of White Elephant/Yankee Swap? Or what about the Christmas karaoke? Or the time we forgot to look in our stockings?
While we all have a story of holiday disaster or dysfunction, we also probably each have at least one story that brings a smile to our face. Thinking back to those good ole’ days—or even just that great moment in the midst of some Christmas chaos—is sure to warm our hearts and turn the tide of holiday love.
Pick one thing.
Look, I’m not going to say, “Fake it until you make it.” That’s obviously, well, fake. But rather than avoiding all celebrations because we just don’t FEEL LIKE IT . . . what if we pick just one thing and give it a try? Maybe we don’t listen to Christmas music ’round the clock, but could we play one CD one time? It’s okay to skip a year of trimming the tree; but how about a tabletop evergreen or even a Christmas scented candle in the room?
Just pick one thing. I’m going to start with hanging some greenery above my dining room windows. (Well. After I declutter that table a bit . . .)
Remember where it all started.
The truth is that Christmas isn’t about the holiday hoopla anyway. The music and the gifts and the decorations are nice, sure. But the reason for the season? It’s Jesus. Just Jesus. And Just Jesus? IS ENOUGH. If celebrating in style isn’t your thing this year, that’s okay. If you’re feeling the pull of a quieter season, a more peaceful time of reflection—THAT’S OKAY.
Mary and Joseph didn’t have a Christmas tree, and the shepherds wouldn’t have known how to frost a candy cane-shaped cookie if the angels had spelled it out for them. Their focus was right where it was meant to be, right where ours is meant to be: on Jesus. The Messiah. The One who started it all, the One where it all started. And His Spirit is really the only one we need.
What does the holiday spirit look like for you this year?
Melanie Vanlaningham says
Ah Mary, I can relate to so much of this. I was so excited to find my dining room table for our Thanksgiving and having about two days where everything looked homey and put together. Then came out the Christmas tubs and the intention of getting it all decorated early. That was four days ago,..dining room table has the last of the decorations that I don’t know what to with…a tree with lights and no decorations… A schedule that doesn’t have much room to finish it all before a couple of gatherings planned here in my home within the week. I don’t want to stress over the stuff but enjoy the celebration if the greatest Gift ever given. I want to be with the people God has placed in my life- family, friends, students. And MOST OF ALL- anticipate and be ready for the arrival of my first grandchild due in just two weeks. I deeply desire for my heart to be wrapped up in the beauty of my Savior this Christmas and letting go of my list of expectations of what it all should look like. Thank you for the encouragement today. Hoping to take a deep breath soon and let it all go.
tami says
Was it here on Incourage that I read a post once upon a time about someone whose house wasn’t near ready for her party, but in the end, she and her friends had a blast decorating it together AT the party. Maybe that could be an idea! 😉
Mary Carver says
Yes, Tami! It was Jen Schmidt who did that!
Bev Duncan @ Walking Well With God says
Melanie,
So excited to hear about the pending arrival of your first grandchild…what a wonderful Christmas gift!! xx
Mary Carver says
Melanie, it sounds like you have a full plate this season! Honestly, I’d say if you don’t know what to do with those decorations, stick them back in the box or room they came from and forget about them for now. 🙂 (And congratulations on that upcoming grandbaby!!)
Bev Duncan @ Walking Well With God says
Mary,
“Just Jesus…is enough” I love this! Thanks to a wonderful Secret Santa who sent me Ann Voskamp’s book “The Greatest Gift” and beautiful Jesse tree ornaments, I am carving out time each day (even if I have to make an appointment with myself) to spend time with just Jesus. The decorating hasn’t even begun, but this appointment with my Savior is so much more important. It carries more life change than whether my banisters have garland on them this year. Thank you for a great reminder to recapture our childlike amazement of Christmas by looking at this season through the fresh eyes of a child.
Blessings,
Bev
Mary Carver says
Making an appointment with yourself is such a smart idea, Bev! (Also? I kinda, sorta really wish I had a Secret Santa like that!!!)
Tristi says
Completely along the lines of what is going on in my heart this morning. I just started reading Liz Curtis Higgs book, the Women of Christmas and wrote “Let Every Heart Prepare Him Room” in my journal and wrote thoughts about it. I need to have room for Jesus or there’s no point in any of it. Thanks for this!
Mary Carver says
YES. I started thinking about that phrase of preparing Him room last year, and it’s just stuck with me!
Marcie Bridges says
I really needed this today. Thank you Mary for taking the time to write and share this from your heart.
~Marcie
Mary Carver says
You’re so welcome, Marcie. I’m glad it encouraged you!
veronica says
Everyday Faith ~ Holidays
Well I feel so much better Mary, thank you. Letting me read your post, hit home. The lack here of spirit is lurking on my dining room table too. Although, I must say… I would have had Thanksgiving dinner BUT, I couldn’t find my table then! Why? ~ why do we do these grandeur plans. We do know the reason it IS for Jesus. In advent days my readiness becomes WATCHFUL. I get SO watchful…I seem to get sidetracked. My focus wanders reminisces in mindful precious joy. Quiet prayerful hours on… through late night. Before I note, gee..”It, (the table clutter) really doesn’t look, any different from the previous hours. Oh well. So…now I changed direction. I found you Mary, your delightful perspective, ‘Clearing some space’ ~ for Christmas. Wouldn’t yah know ….HERE IS CHRIST right next to me. Thank you Mary for your site and comments.
I’m thinking of a small simple place, an inn in Bethlehem. There was no room for HIM ~But ~ in stable in a manger. There~ Jesus Christ was born.
God grant me, assist me today make ready the path.
This clutter on my dining room table… is insignificant now. JOY! Praise Be to God ~
Merry Christmas ~
Always love One,
Veronica
Mary Carver says
Great reminder, Veronica, that the clutter is simply that and NOT important at all in light of the Reason for this season!
Tricia says
This is exactly how I am feeling right now. Thank you for sharing!
Jodi @ A Mom Having Fun says
I am going into this holiday season a little nervous. Last year was very overwhelming for me. I basically shut down after Christmas. I had no energy, felt completely drained, and the things I did enjoy – blogging, was something I couldn’t even consider doing. I am stepping into this season being a little more reserved. I already bought some Christmas presents, which should help. On the whole though, I am trying to keep it simple without taking on more than necessary.
Thank you for your great post!
Mary Carver says
Oh no, definitely don’t do that again!! Hoping your Christmas this year is actually refreshing and brings peace to your home!
Kimberly says
Thank you so much for this post. I was thinking I was alone in not feeling the Holiday spirit.. wonderful suggestions and affirmation too. I’m looking forward to this week end, I think 🙂 to dragging out my decorations but keeping it simple this year and that’s ok! Jesus IS enough.
Mary Carver says
Yes, I’m planning to put up a few decorations this weekend, too. 🙂
Holli says
I can so relate, our tree is not up yet, and everything is just blah. I am hoping to put it up this weekend and praying that the sight of it knocks the Christmas blues out of me.
It has been a rough year both emotionally and financially, and it is all hitting now it seems. But I am refusing to let it get me down and keep me down. Fighting back, listening to the carols we sang in church when I was a child, bringing back the memories of the living Christmas tree our church choir used to have every year. Teaching the songs to my children so that they may lift their voices about the real reason we have a Christmas. And knock the blues away.
Mary Carver says
I think even if your tree and the songs don’t completely knock your blues away, it’s okay. Do what you can, enjoy what you can, but remember that the Lord came for both our best days, our worst days and the blah ones in between.
heather m. says
So beautiful!! And I am thrilled someone else still remembers the Claymation Christmas!!! LOL! My dad was in the choir for years and we loved the one with the choir of bells…”I lost mine…!” Too funny!
I love your idea of keeping it simple too– just pick one thing! What great advice– sometimes that’s all it takes to get the ball rolling. Thanks so much for the inspiration today Mary!
Beth Coulton says
Perfect, perfect, perfect for me today. My stress level this December is way worse than in previous years, and the month has barely begun. And, I have not a lot on my plate and loads to be thankful for. But it’s the constant pressure (via FB, mostly) to decorate, trim, light, frost, wrap, shop…because everyone else is, has, or did already. I’ve never seen so many Christmas decorations up BEFORE Thanksgiving as I did this year, and to me, that only adds to the pressure. Let’s take this season one holiday at a time, shall we?
Thank you for this. I’m definitely in a quiet Christmas mode and mood this year, and I’m learning that that’s okay. Jesus is, has been, and always will be more than enough.
Mary Carver says
Yes! SO many people are decorating early this year. It’s crazy to me!! I say log off Facebook and Pinterest (or at least hide the people stressing you out for now), and enjoy the season at your own pace!!
Loretta Pearson says
Wanting Jesus more than anything else. Wanting to share his love with others
Jeanne Takenaka says
Mary, I needed this. In the midst of a difficult season with the kids, terminally ill family and friends, dealing with my own health issues and keeping up with lots of to-do’s on my list, I’m not in the holiday spirit. But I want to be. Maybe I’ll put n, It’s a Wonderful Life while I fold our Christmas letters today, and remember Who we’re celebrating. And choose thankfulness in the middle of it all.
I need this post today. Thank you.
Mary Carver says
Oh, Jeanne, that’s a LOT to carry! Praying this season brings you peace and joy, no matter how festive it looks.
Brenda says
Thank you for this wonderful reminder of what Christmas is really about…. Jesus… This will be a difficult Christmas as we are all feeling quite broken. Thank goodness Jesus Christ came to put the broken pieces back together…. we are hoping and praying for a miracle this Christmas….
Oh…btw, one thing I REALLY LOVE on (in)Courage is everyone’s comments… They always bless me!
Mary Carver says
Thank you for being a part of our community here, Brenda! Praying your miracle comes soon…
Sarah R says
I’m so happy you posted this. Last Christmas, I had an absolute mental breakdown complete with tears and a horrific fight with my husband in front of the kids. I seriously did not get over it until mid-January. My side of the family celebrates Christmas on Christmas Day about 2 hours from our house. When we had kids, we both decided that we didn’t want our kids’ memories of Christmas Day to be spending 4 hours in the car, so we decided then that we would stay home for Christmas. Well, that meant that, by default, we spent Christmas with my in-laws, since they live in the area. My in-laws are extremely difficult even on their best days, and that left me with the most sorrowful feeling, knowing my family was getting together and having fun, while I was stuck with my in-laws. This feeling had been festering for a while, and then last Christmas, while I was knocking myself out getting the house cleaned and food cooked for his family, my husband decided to go BACK TO BED because “he wasn’t feeling well.” That’s when I completely snapped.
This year, we decided to make some major changes and we are celebrating with just the kids this year. We have simplified our decorations and gifts and are careful to not over-schedule ourselves. I hope that the slower pace means more time to focus on the real meaning of the season.
Beth Williams says
Mary,
These holidays are super merry for me this year. I have been and am dealing with my aging dad & his health issues. Add to that my job has changed and I am not liking my work environment any more. I just had a friend’s smother die on Thanksgiving. So much “blah” out there this year.
The other day God must have felt my blah and out of the blue I got a fed-ex package wth Ann Voskamp’s The Greatest Gift and the Jesse Tree ornaments. It perked up right up. I put all the ornaments on our little “Charlie Brown” tree. My hubby came and hugged me and said we could get a little bigger tree. Made me smile and happy!
I agree with doing just one thing and making Christ the center of the celebration. One thing I don’t like about holidays is all the selling and commercialism. I buy a few gifts for the people I love and that is it. God is super more important than any gift we could ever receive!
Mary Carver says
Oh, Beth. I’m so glad you received those gifts – both with Ann’s book and from your husband’s kindness!
Diane says
Oh how I needed to hear this. My adult children live in chaos and the holidays are NOT fun because of the craziness they bring. My mother (who was my rock and able to keep me sane around the chaos of the kids) died a year ago. It complicates things when both her birthday and mine follow Christmas in short order. Add to that the strain of trying to sell a house, paying two mortgages and remodeling a house, it’s easy to take my eyes of the Christmas child just when I need him the most.
Thank you
Susan Shipe says
You aren’t alone in your struggle. I love your suggestions!
Anita says
these words echo my very thoughts – I almost wondered if you’ve been following me…so glad I am not alone through this, and thank you for these wonderful suggestions!
Darla says
Ahhhh, a kindred spirit. We also watch A Claymation Christmas every year, and the kids are out of the home now but still have to come over to watch it.
I totally relate to the rest of your thoughts, but that’s what caught my attention – I don’t think most people know of that little treasure :o)
Sharon says
I really needed this..I will try to do just one thing, recall a special Christmas memory.I will give thanks and count my blessings. I will encourage myself and give thanks for the birth of Jesus Christ. Thankfully.
Linda says
I just can’t get into the Christmas spirit this year. Our son in law was killed in a car accident in October and my daughter is so sad as we are too. Then shortly after Jeff’s death, my English bulldog of which Jeff had given me died. And on top of all this, I have had a double knee replacement and just basically feel like yuck.
I need a good spiritual boost. Got any ideas or comments for me?
Linda
Mary Carver says
Linda, I’m so sorry for your loss. I wish I knew just the right words to make this season hurt a little bit less, but I’m afraid that, though I’ve faced hard holidays after loss more than once, I don’t know what will make a difference for you and your family. I do know that the Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He is. He is with you. And I know that scaling back on how you celebrate this year is okay. Actually, no matter what you and your daughter and your family choose to do in order to make it through the holidays, it’s okay. There’s no road map for grief, unfortunately, but I pray that those in your life do offer you lots of grace and comfort as you walk through this. Praying comfort and peace even in the midst of your great sadness this year…
Coral Beth says
Have you been in my dining room? Thanks for this, Mary!