I used to love roller coasters. The step-to-the-edge adrenaline rush was exciting and scary all at the same time. There was a certain element of fascination with not knowing what was ahead. The expectation of steep climbs, breathless drops, and out-of-control turns made the experience exhilarating.
But somewhere along life’s road, I lost an appreciation for exciting and exhilarating and breathless. Not knowing what was ahead was no longer fascinating. And out of control? Well, let’s just say that was dropped from my vocabulary.
Somewhere between babies born and bills due, I got bogged down in needing to know and plan. I unapologetically commandeered the controls in the name of being strong and capable — until the only thing that left me breathless was the constant flurry of trying to make sure my life went exactly as I planned.
Waiting on God to provide and bless was the furthest thing from my mind.
As a young child, I learned that provisions were contingent upon acceptable actions. That love came with strings attached. That waiting meant I could be forgotten.
So I did what came naturally: I dove headfirst into self-sufficiency.
It wasn’t until after my third child arrived — unplanned — and I couldn’t keep up with my own demands that God intervened and showed me how the need to control is rooted not in strong and capable, but in fear and distrust.
Perhaps you know first-hand this need to grip every day tightly? The constant spinning and arranging and tightening of boundaries for the sake of safe and comfortable and expected?
Many of us learn to trust fear at a very young age. We sink into its mire with no knowledge of how it will affect us later — when life gets topsy-turvy and unpredictable. Fear drives us to feel and think and behave in ways which make complete sense at the time. But in reality, the roller coaster ride screeches toward a destination filled with darkness and confinement.
Sometimes our greatest destination involves the journey of renewal.
By a God who desires to free our hearts of fear and control. By a tender summoning of all our unplanned moments. By a renewing of our minds to an everlasting love.
It begins as a whisper of assurance, coaxing our hearts to believe in something other than ourselves, to rest in a provision beyond our own abilities. And when our need for control silences its voice, this Divine Whisper, not willing to be stifled, continues to press through our fear and doubt.
Relentless, the truth trickles and seeps into our heart’s crevices.
Revealing the lies we were never meant to believe.
Releasing the burden we were never meant to carry.
Stilling us . . .
To reclaim the message we were created to always embrace.
I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. (Jeremiah 31:3)
When we finally allow the truth to envelop our core, we are left breathless to the wonder of such grace. That a love so profound and eternal could have a plan for all of our yesterdays, our todays, and our tomorrows is a roller coaster ride like no other.
This love whirls and spins and climbs and dives through our moments, all the while keeping us grounded and secure. We no longer turn our ears toward fear, but listen intently to the voice of unfailing kindness. We no longer follow the urge to commandeer the controls, but rest in complete abandon to everlasting Love.
And we once again give ourselves permission to anticipate what’s ahead. To be fascinated with the possibilities that lie beyond our own reach. To release control and throw our arms in the air with certainty that no matter the destination and no matter the stretching beyond our comfort zone . . .
We are held.
We are loved.
We are never forgotten.
Related: Need a daily reminder that He is your everlasting light? Hang this print and cherish the verse that speaks hope to the soul: The Lord will be your Everlasting Light