Every time I see my friend Karen, I cry. (She also makes my husband cry.)
There is something about entering into the vulnerable places of your heart with another person that just breaks and releases you. Karen is the woman I talk to when God brings issues up in my life that need to be dealt with. I sit on her couch and I talk and we pray and we ask the Lord what it is I need to know or see or deal with.
Even though I go in willing, once I’m there I think I’m fine, until it’s clear I’m not fine, and then I cry.
I cry because the Lord reveals something in me that needs healing, and it hurts to uncover wounds, but it feels so good to acknowledge them so they can be healed.
And it’s because of this healing that I keep opening myself to this process. You see, I’ve decided that I want a healthy relationship with myself.
I believe the world is desperate for healthy people — people who are willing to have the dark places turned into light.
And isn’t it just lovely how God takes those dark places in our lives and offers to turn them into light?
We all have a story that’s unfolding through our lives that won’t be complete until heaven, but it all has purpose if we are willing to go through the dark to get to the light.
We can choose whether we stay in our dark places — to be resentful and bitter and scared so that we don’t grow and let light in — or not.
The Lord is tender and kind, and He will lead us toward freedom throughout our whole lives. We have the opportunity to accept or reject His guidance. We can hide and act like we’re okay, or we can get real vulnerable and walk through the fire in order to come out shining just a little bit brighter.
Let’s say you are broken over something, and you cry out to God about it, and then the next day everything seems fine and you think, Oh, it’s really not a big deal. Have you ever done that? That’s the moment to make a move to deal with it and say, “Okay, God, I’m ready and willing.” If you don’t, I can assure you that “thing” will come up later. God always seems to bring things back until we deal with them.
When I first wrote my abortion story on my blog, I didn’t want to do it.
It was painful and vulnerable, and I cried the whole time I was writing. But I believed with my whole heart that God wanted me to do it; it was the last piece in my healing journey.
I hit publish and cried some more.
The reason I cried wasn’t because I hadn’t dealt with it. I cried because I was putting a very private thing out there for the whole world to see and judge. But you know what happened? Thousands of people viewed it, and so many women thanked me because it helped them know they weren’t alone. And it helped them to seek healing and to understand that God is so loving and there is always hope, that He wants us to come to Him for comfort.
He took a dark part of my story and gave it light so others could see and hear and put their trust in the Lord.
Our stories aren’t just for us — they are for those who are hurting and in need of hope. We get to partner with God in being light-bearers for His Kingdom.
Whatever it is that you’re in or have been in, if you stay tender and let God lead you through the healing, you will sparkle.