She prays, then sits across from me and cradles my anxious heart in her hands as words spill out of my mouth. They are the same words I have been saying for years, the same words I have been saying since she has known me, and I wonder if she ever tires of my faithless monologue: I don’t know what He’s doing.
But she simply nods in response because this place that I am in, this place of feeling stuck, is familiar territory for her as well.
Neither of our lives are going the way that we had imagined . . . and although it is the greatest desire of our hearts to trust the Father completely, trusting is not easy when our plans are wrecked and our dreams are relinquished to a divine design that we do not understand.
And I hear them coming from everywhere, these stories of a plan that isn’t ours, of a God who knows so much better than we do. You may be thousands of dollars in debt for a degree that you’re not sure you want anymore. You may look over at the empty space next to you in bed, aching for it to be filled with the spouse you thought would be here by now. Or maybe your life is everything you thought you always wanted, but an emptiness still settles where contentment should thrive.
It is hard to be grateful here in the midst of uncertainty. It is much easier to look at where we are, line it up with where we thought we would be, and become fearful and frustrated about the differences. But we are blessed with the time that we are given, and our Heavenly Father knows exactly where we are and exactly where He desires us to be.
God is neither deaf to our prayers nor blind to our place. His ways are simply better.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” {Isaiah 55:8-9, KJV}
I can be angry that my life has seemingly been disrupted, or I can trust that God is crafting a life for me that I couldn’t possibly imagine.
I’m not living my plan, but I am living His plan for me.
It is unexpected and it is hard, but I am grateful for a God who loves me enough to wreck my plans when it is for my good and for His glory.
So here we are, sitting in the middle of stories we wouldn’t have chosen for ourselves, but I pray that we have the courage to find beauty in it.
I still don’t know what He’s doing, but because I love Him, I can trust that it’s good. He’s good, friends. So good.
[linebreak]
Related: This Hope Letterpress Block Set can be displayed in your home as an encouraging reminder that God is the God of hope!
Ifeoma Samuel says
Thank you for Today’s refreshing devotion.
God’s ways are simply better.
God Bless Courtney.
Courtney Cole says
Amen. Thank you!
Courtney Cole says
Amen! Thank you, Ifeoma.
Toosti says
Beautiful article. Such difficult thing to grasp when your life is filled with so much loss. Someone asked me what faith really was to me. After my husband died, I had to really search my heart in terms of believing God is good (and HE IS!) and I wrote this: “Faith is believing that God is still on His throne when the chair that you were sitting in has broken into a million pieces.” Simplistic maybe, but truth in my own heart. God IS good…all the time. 🙂
Courtney Cole says
I love that! It’s such a beautiful, and truthful, visual of faith when things go in an unexpected direction. Thanks for sharing!
Paula Cole says
Beautiful words! It’s not always easy to walk the path he has for us but it’s the better one by far.
Courtney Cole says
Amen and amen.
Jenni DeWitt @ Genuflected.com says
So relatable. Lately I have been praying, “I trust you; help me to trust you more.” Somehow affirming that I am trusting Him while acknowledging I need to trust him more just feels right. I put other words in there too sometimes. “I love you. Help me to love you more.” This learning to trust is such a journey, and I am on it with you!
Courtney Cole says
That’s a beautiful way to pray: I trust You, but I need Your help to trust You more. Amen. Thank you for sharing that!
Karly says
I know both sides of that table. And I have been on both sides. And I am so grateful for these words here today, pouring into the hearts of people who need hope. Even people like me. 🙂 much love my friend! He is so glorified in your words.
Courtney Cole says
I am so grateful for your friendship and support! And your prayers. Love you dearly.
Rebecca Jones says
I so loved reading this, like disciples, we are all in the same boat. When we step out like Peter, keep our eyes on Him. Hebrews 12:2
Courtney Cole says
I love that, Rebecca!
Lisa Rimback says
Courtney, Karly directed me here. You are speaking Truth! Doesn’t it comfort your heart to recount that though we don’t understand He writes better Scripts for our lives than we do! I rejoice that you are Karly are buddies and sisters in Christ to encourage each other! I look forward to reading more!
Courtney Cole says
Thank you so much! Her friendship has been such an encouragement to me. More proof that God knows what He is doing. 🙂
Sharon says
Thank you, I needed to read those words, My husband and I are both out of work and I am praying for a breakthrough in our lives. I need to trust that what God has in store for us is better than anything we can dream of.
Courtney Cole says
Oh, praying for you, Sharon. It’s so difficult to trust when money is tight and we can’t see what is next. But He’s good and faithful, friend.
Beth Williams says
Sharon,
Father God,
Please provide a measure of comfort to Sharon and her hubby. Direct them to the jobs you want them to have! Place them in your perfect will!! Shower them with a miracle and make their trust in you stronger! Give them strength, courage to keep on this journey!
AMEN!! 🙂
Tara Ulrich says
Courtney, so so good!
Courtney Cole says
Thank you for reading, Tara!
Beth Williams says
Courtney,
It can be so very hard when life hands you lemons! God never promised us rose gardens or perfectly pruned lives. He said you will have trials and troubles in this world, but take heart I have overcome this world!! Not so!! Road blocks along the way (hearing difficulties, transportation issues) etc. Now I find myself at home assisting in the care of my aging dad and wondering what the next step will be–should I go back to work full time, part time? Praying for answers!
Blessings 🙂
Courtney Cole says
Praying for you, Beth, as you wait for answers. Life constantly changes, but we serve a God who never does. Isn’t that the best?
June says
Faith-filled words, Courtney! We’re praying the names and attributes of God this month for #write31days and learning just how Good and Trustworthy our Lord is – this post fits right in!
Courtney Cole says
What an awesome idea, June! It’s nice to see a fellow #write31days participant. 😉
Michelle Pineau says
I was just pondering this concept this morning. I am realizing that, although I ask God to make His plans clear to me, I am secretly only wishing He would fulfill my plans.
“I still don’t know what He’s doing, but because I love Him, I can trust that it’s good. He’s good, friends. So good.”
Courtney Cole says
Ahh, I am also guilty of secretly hoping that God would just follow my plan for once. But His plan is so beautiful. Hard and vulnerable and sometimes infuriatingly time-consuming, but beautiful. And better.